


For Reasons Unknown

by m3535, Zayhad



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Gryffindor!Regulus, M/M, Sexual Content, fighting brothers, non-canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-13
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 22:58:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 147,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15673014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m3535/pseuds/m3535, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zayhad/pseuds/Zayhad
Summary: It is a scandal, yes, but not a huge surprise that Sirius the rebel is sorted into Gryffindor, but when the same thing happens to his younger brother, the perfect son, a model Slytherin, everybody is in shock. Regulus is not at all happy about finding himself in the wrong house and neither is his family. Non-canon, obviously. Regulus/Remus slash.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of an unusual fic, as it's a rewrite of an RP between my friend Zayhad & myself (M3535). I have done some major rewriting to adapt it into a fic, and **Zayhad** has made an illustration for every chapter. We're a pretty good team, I think :)
> 
> While the fic is a Regulus/Remus slash, it is just as much about the brotherly relationship between Regulus and Sirius. Since we're starting out when they are small children, the romance part will not start until a good way into the fic.
> 
> I'm planning to post 1 chapter every day.
> 
> Disclaimer: Characters and world belong to the awesome J. K. Rowling

**Chapter 1 – “There’s a Werewolf in My Closet”**

12 Grimmauld Place lay dark and quiet except for the odd creak from one of the old floorboards when tiny bare feet stepped on them. The three-year-old moved slowly along the gloomy third-floor corridor, a few steps at a time, then stopped and held his breath, listening. He could only hear his own galloping heartbeat. The corridor was miles long and the walls towered up over the boy on either side, threatening to swallow him up. Finally, he dared move the last few yards to the door that was his target. He stopped in front of it, then stood on his toes so he could reach the serpent's head shaped handle and pull it down. The door opened slowly with only a faint creak and the boy slipped inside. It was dark in there, but the weak moonlight from outside lit up the room just enough for the boy to make out the large four-poster by the far wall. He tiptoed over there.

 

"Sirius?" he whispered. "Sirius, are you sleeping?"

There was a low mumble and a rustling from the covers, and then a head with black hair in disarray appeared. "Reggie?" the boy said sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "What are you doing here? It's really late."

"There's a werewolf in my closet, Sirius," whispered Regulus, looking up at his older brother with big pleading eyes, hoping that he would be invited to climb into bed, because he knew better than to do it without an invitation. 

"You sure it isn’t just Kreacher finding your clothes for tomorrow?"

"It's not Kreacher," said Regulus. "It's big and I can hear it growl. It want to eat me."

Sirius tilted his head and sighed. He then pulled the covers aside and scooted over so Regulus could climb into bed with him. "I can’t guarantee that the werewolf won’t go in here too," he pointed out as Regulus hoisted himself into the bed. "But maybe it’s just a boggart that likes your closet. Mother can take care of it tomorrow."

"You think?" asked Regulus a little nervously. "But... if it come in here you can kill it, yeah?"

"If it’s a boggart it won’t come in here, Reggie, and I doubt a werewolf would want to live in your closet. Werewolves run wild in forests and not in closets."

Regulus eyed his brother a little sceptically as he crawled under the covers, but then again Sirius was awfully smart and knew a lot of things. He could handle almost anything, too. Regulus was glad, though, that he didn't send him back to his room. Werewolf or no werewolf, it was scary in there when it was dark and Mother would not allow him to have a night light burning. She said big boys weren't scared of the dark, but Regulus didn't quite understand why he couldn't be scared. He wasn't a big boy, he was the smallest boy he knew. 

Sirius pulled the covers over them and rolled onto his side to go back to sleep. It was becoming quite a routine that Regulus came up with an excuse to sneak into his room a few times a week to sleep. But Sirius loved his little brother so he didn’t mind.

Regulus lay quiet for a minute but couldn't fall asleep. "Sirius?" he whispered. "What are we doing tomorrow?"

"What do you mean, what are we doing?" Sirius mumbled and turned to face his brother. "We can play some games or play tricks on Kreacher if we get bored. I don’t know. What do you want to do?"

"I don't want to play tricks on Kreacher. That's cruel. But we can play games."

Sirius sulked a bit, as playing tricks on Kreacher was one of his favourite pastimes at the moment. "Well, I guess we can do that, then, or trap the boggart and hide it in Mother’s closet so she will be frightened. That would be a lot of fun."

"How can you trap a boggart?" asked Regulus, both a bit scared and a bit excited. "Can you do it without magic?"

"Hmm... I don’t know any spells, but it can probably be done in some other way. It sure would be a great prank to play on Mother."

"She will be very angry when she find out," said Regulus, shivering at the thought. He knew Sirius wasn't afraid of her (he wasn't afraid of anybody) but Regulus surely was. Mother was terrifying when she was angry.

"Her face would turn scarlet, that’s for sure," grinned Sirius. "You’re too well-behaved, Reggie. It wouldn’t kill you to disobey her once in a while."

Regulus hoped Sirius would forget about the boggart, because he wasn't so sure there was one in his closet at all. He hadn't actually heard growling, he could just imagine a werewolf in there, but if he admitted that, his brother might send him back to his own room.

**o0o0o**

Regulus was woken very early the next morning by Kreacher gently shaking him.

"Master Regulus must go back to his own bed," Kreacher said and shook him again. "Mistress will not like that Regulus is sleeping in Master Sirius' bed.”

Regulus quickly slipped out of bed and followed Kreacher to his own room. The floors were cold against his bare feet and he quickly jumped into his own bed. 

"You won't tell her I slept there, will you?" he asked the elf.

"No, Master Regulus," Kreacher croaked and shook his head. "Kreacher won't tell Mistress anything, even if she asks.”

"Thank you," smiled the little boy. 

Sirius was woken by Kreacher a few hours later. "What?" he mumbled grumpily. 

"Mistress wants the little Masters to have breakfast with her. She wants them to bathe and dress. Master Sirius’ bath will be ready in ten minutes," informed the house elf, his gaze silently telling Sirius that he had better be out of bed at that time.

Kreacher hurried into Sirius' private bathroom and started preparing a hot bath. When it was ready, Sirius had still not gotten up. 

“Why is the stupid boy still in his bed?” muttered Kreacher to himself, but said aloud, “Master’s bath is getting cold and Kreacher must also help Master Regulus."

"Fine, fine," Sirius sighed and dragged himself out of bed and into the bathroom. He stripped off his pyjamas and crawled into the steaming hot water. He had to admit it felt rather good to start the morning like this, although he would rather just have stayed in bed for another hour or two.

"Does Master want Kreacher to scrub him?" asked the elf. "Then Kreacher must go draw Regulus' bath first and then come back."

"I’ll be fine on my own," Sirius mumbled and sank into the tub so his nose was just above water. "Go help Reggie."

Kreacher hurried out of the bathroom, not sorry to have been dismissed so quickly. He much preferred helping Regulus. 

"Master Regulus," Kreacher said as he walked into the dark bedroom. "Mistress says to bathe Young Masters so Kreacher will go draw Regulus a lovely hot bath."

Regulus slipped out of bed and followed the elf into the bathroom. He sat down on the antique stool next to the washbasin and watched Kreacher prepare the bath. 

"What do Mother want? Are we going somewhere?"

"Kreacher knows not. Mistress just says to bathe and clothe Young Masters and then bring them downstairs." The elf turned off the hot water and smiled at the small boy. "Bath is ready, Master Regulus."

Regulus climbed in and happily let Kreacher scrub him. "Where is squid?" he asked, looking around for the toy. "I want to play with him."

Kreacher went over to a small box in the corner of the bathroom to fetch the little squid and handed it to Regulus before returning to scrubbing his back.

"Bella say there is a big squid in the Lake at Hawgswats," said Regulus, splashing around with his toy squid in the water. "She say it eat Mudblood childs sometimes."

"Kreacher would not know, Young Master. Kreacher has never been to Hogwarts or heard of a big squid that lives there, but if Miss Bellatrix says it then Kreacher will not doubt." He finished scrubbing Regulus’ back and then started washing his hair.

"Do... do you think it eat pure-blood childs too sometimes? If they bad?"

"Kreacher does not think so. Surely not."

"There’s no squid that eats children," Sirius' voice sounded. Both looked up, spotting him in the doorway, naked and soaking wet. "It's just something Bella made up to scare you."

"How do you know?" asked Regulus. "You never been to Hawgswats."

"Master is getting the floor wet! Water all over!" exclaimed Kreacher horrified. "Sirius must go back to his bath! Now Kreacher must clean the whole floor."

"Well, that will keep you busy, then," Sirius said and turned his attention back to Regulus. "If it was true I’m sure Mother and Father would talk more of it. They would be thrilled."

"That they eat bad childs?" asked Regulus horrified. "Sirius - you must not be so bad, then!"

"I mean if it ate Mudbloods, silly. Anyway, I'm not afraid of some squid that lives in a lake. I’ll be a great wizard and it will be the one to fear me.”

**o0o0o**

Half an hour later the boys entered the dining room, nicely dressed. Mrs. Black was already waiting for them.

"About time," she said. "Kreacher - serve the breakfast."

"Yes, Mistress Black," said Kreacher, bowing deep, and disappeared.  
Sirius sat down next to Regulus and looked around the room. "What is the occasion of us having to be dressed so fancy?"

"Is having breakfast with your mother not enough occasion?" said Mrs. Black stiffly as Kreacher poured her tea. "You're a Black, and you should look like one, not some common half-blood. Or worse. Uncle Cygnus and Aunt Druella are arriving this afternoon. They will be staying the weekend," she announced when Kreacher had served the breakfast. "So I want you both on your best behaviour. No pranks, no cheek," she continued, eying Sirius for a second. "You will address the adults madam and sir."

Sirius tried to hide his contempt for the news. He was absolutely not looking forward to them coming for a visit and especially not for a whole weekend. "Yes, madam.”

"You address your aunt madam and _me_ Mother as always," Mrs. Black corrected him with an irritable look. “Listen properly when I'm speaking. You will also remember your table manners; say thank you and please, and don't leave the table until you're excused."

"Yes, Mother," said Regulus.

Sirius mumbled a few words before speaking again. "Yes, _Mother!_ " he replied and sat back in his chair, pushing the plate away.

"Sit up straight, young man, and finish your breakfast. And remember, I'm keeping an eye on you. You're the most important. You're the heir to the House of Black, and you must live up to that honour."

"Where… where am I going to live, then?" asked Regulus.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean - if Sirius get the house where am I going to live?"

"Probably with some dumb girl that you get to marry," Sirius mumbled, not sitting up straight even though being told to.

Regulus' eyes shot wide open. "I don't want to marry a girl!"

"You’re going to. Me too because that is what _Mother_ says we have to. Right, Mother?"

"Enough with the attitude, Sirius!" said Mrs. Black, sending him a warning look. 

Kreacher came in to deliver the Daily Prophet. 

"Put it on the stand, Kreacher, I will look at it later.”

Regulus leaned in and whispered to his brother, "Can I still live here with you when you get the house?"

Sirius looked at his brother and nodded. "Yes, you can. I won’t just throw you out like Mother and Father will after they marry you off. "

**o0o0o**

When their aunt and uncle arrived at three o’clock, Sirius and Regulus were standing straight in matching clothes in the hallway, ready to welcome them.

Regulus’ stomach sank when he saw that all three cousins were there. Bellatrix, the oldest, was obviously home for the Easter holidays. Regulus was scared of her. She could be mean and would tease him and Sirius in very unpleasant ways. The other two, Andromeda of 10 and Narcissa of 9, were much nicer and Regulus liked them both. They thought he was the cutest thing and would spoil him with sweets and attention, although sometimes it was a bit much. 

Sirius eyed the three girls and tried to think of pranks he could play on them. Especially Bellatrix, although he was sure she would not hesitant hexing him.

The parents greeted each other and Mrs. Black said, "Sirius, Regulus - welcome out guests."

Regulus obediently went over to one at a time, gave them his hand and said, "Welcome," addressing each person correctly. Sirius, however, just waved and muttered, "Hey".

His father grabbed him by the arm and hissed into his ear. "You will behave and greet our guests properly!" When he let go, Sirius rubbed his arm and went over to his aunt and uncle, greeting them with ‘madam’ and ‘sir’.

"Druella, you must see my orchid garden," said Mrs. Black, smiling at her sister-in-law. "I have had such good fortune with three rare species I had imported from Brazil."

"Oh, I would love to.”

Sirius stuck a finger in his mouth and stuck out his tongue as if he were about to gag. 

Both Regulus and the girls saw it, and Narcissa scrunched up her nose.

"That's not polite. And it's childish too!"

"I’m five years old," said Sirius. "Of course I’m childish."

Mrs. Black left with Druella and Mr. Black took Cygnus with him to the library. It left the five children standing in the hall. 

"So, Bella," Sirius started and looked at his oldest cousin. "Learned any new spells, have you?"

"I know more spells than you can count, little boy," she said, smiling sweetly, 

"S-Sirius can count to a thousand," objected Regulus, but as soon as she looked at him, he regretted calling attention to himself. Even though she smiled at him, there was something mocking in her smile. 

Sirius smirked and crossed his arms. "Yes I can. Do you know more than a thousand spells?" 

"You can't count to a thousand, you little shit," said Bellatrix, her smile gone. "I know enough. Care to be my guinea pig? I know some new curses that could do with some polishing off."

"Bella, be nice to the boys," said Andromeda. "And you know you aren't allowed to use magic outside of school."

"That stupid rule can't touch us here, Andy," retorted Bellatrix. "You know uncle Orion has anti-detection wards up so the Ministry can't see we're doing it."

"Still, it's wrong."

Sirius bit his lip and then took Regulus' hand. "Come on, let’s go play. You want to join us, Andy? Then Cissy and Bella can play guinea pigs or whatever they want to do. I don’t care."

Andromeda looked at her siblings but then agreed to go with Sirius and Regulus. Narcissa followed, although Sirius had not invited her.  
Bellatrix headed off to go exploring in the house. Orion and Walburga had so many exciting dark magic artefacts, and she was really too old to play with children.

**o0o0o**

"Now that we lost crazy Bella what do you all want to do?" asked Sirius when they had reached his room.

Narcissa shrugged. "Exploding snap?"

The others agreed, except Regulus, who looked down at his feet. He didn't understand the rules of the game. It was funny when a card exploded, but he didn't want the cousins to know that he couldn't play for real.  
"I think it's a boring game," he said, trying to sound like it didn't bother him. "I think I'll just watch."

Sirius suddenly remembered the boggart that he suspected was hiding in Regulus’ closet, and the others followed him into the room curiously.

"Is it true? Is there really a boggart in there?" asked Andromeda as she eyed the closet. "I've never seen one."

"I... I don't think it's there anymore," said Regulus. "Maybe it escaped."

"Really?" Sirius said, eying his little brother suspiciously. "I thought it would stay in there and get all cosy and such." He knocked on the closet door and listened for a moment. Nothing happened.

"M-maybe it wasn't a boggart at all. Maybe it was a real werewolf and it turned into a human because it's day," said Regulus.

"I doubt that a werewolf went into your room to hide in a closet. It would have eaten you then," Sirius said.

Regulus shivered. Now in the daytime the thought of a werewolf wasn't quite as scary, but in the night-time... What if it came back tonight and really did eat him? "M-maybe you should check," he said, trying not to sound scared.

Sirius grinned and swung the doors open. He was already pretty sure that nothing was in there and he wanted to act like one of the big kids. He wasn't afraid of anything and he was going to show them that he wasn't. Regulus gasped and grabbed a tight hold on Andromeda's arm. 

Sirius turned to face them with a satisfied smile on his lips. "See? Nothing there!"

"What would you have done if there had been a boggart?" Andromeda asked.

"We would have fetched Bella," said Narcissa. "A boggart is easy for her."

"Sirius could have did it," said Regulus. "He can always make monsters go away."

"Yes, I could," Sirius nodded smugly.

"You don’t know the spell to banish a boggart," Narcissa said. "Bella knows. She learned at school."

"So? I could still have done it," Sirius insisted, shooting out his jaw.  
"You don't even have a wand!" said Narcissa. "You're always such a show-off!" 

"So what! Who needs a wand? I can do it without a wand."

"Oh, yeah? What's the incantation?"

"It's... Well, it's... I’m not going to tell you, because you don’t know it and I am not going to teach you!"

"HA! You don't know it!" crowed the blonde.

"I do too!" Sirius yelled, getting red in the face.

"YOU'RE A LIER!" screamed Narcissa.

Regulus had backed away, discretely hiding behind Andromeda. He hated when people got angry and yelled. Even Sirius, who was his favourite person in the whole world. 

"I am not!" screamed Sirius back. "You’re just jealous because if you met a boggart you wouldn’t know what to do and then it would eat your face!"

"You're a nasty little liar! I'm telling Mum!"

"Go ahead! The boggart will eat her too!"

"Now, now," Andromeda said, stepping between the two raging children. "Why don’t we just play the game like we planned, instead of fighting?"

"I don't want to play with him!" declared Narcissa and jutted out her chin. “Let’s go somewhere else, Andy." She grabbed Regulus' hand and headed for the door. "Come, Reggie."

Regulus looked over his shoulder at Sirius as he hesitantly let Narcissa drag him off. 

Sirius stood for a second, unable to decide whether to go with them or not. He didn’t want to play with Narcissa either. She had called him a liar. Technically he was, because he had no idea how to handle a boggart, but he had not wanted Regulus to know that. He bit his lip and headed after them.

"Wanna go to the pond and look for treasure?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"I said I don't want to play with you!" said Narcissa and marched on. 

"Well, you can go then, but leave my brother with me so we can go treasure hunting," Sirius demanded.

"Come on, Cissy," said Andromeda. "Let's go with Sirius. I want play by the lake. The weather's beautiful today. We can ask the house elf to make us a picnic basket. It will be fun!"

Narcissa looked very sour still but let go of Regulus and crossed her arms. "Fine. But I’m not talking to Sirius!"

"Suits me just fine," said Sirius. "KREACHER!"

"Yes, Master Sirius?" said the elf, Apparating right in front of him.

"Make us a picnic basket," Sirius ordered. "We’re going down to the pond to hunt for treasure.”

"Yes, Master," said Kreacher. "Do the little masters and misses want tea?"

"Of course we want tea," said Narcissa. "What did you expect us to drink? Firewhiskey?"

"No, Miss Narcissa, of course not," croaked Kreacher, bowing his head.

"And some biscuits," continued Narcissa. "With lemon, perhaps. But not too sour. I don't like that."

Regulus did not like when people spoke to Kreacher this way, but he didn't dare say anything that might anger his cousin. 

"Yes, Miss Narcissa. Kreacher will fix it right away.”

**o0o0o**

"So what are we going to do here?" Narcissa asked Sirius when they had all arrived at the lake. Apparently she had already forgotten that she wasn't speaking to him.

"Look for treasure, of course," Sirius said and parted some grass with a stick. "There are all sorts of funny things lying around." He picked up a rock and stuck it in his pocket.

"A rock?" snorted Narcissa. "You call that treasure?"

"I enjoy the little things," snapped Sirius and looked through the grass for another thing he could put in his pocket.

"Look - there's a frog!" said Regulus, pointing at a waterlily leaf in the middle of the pond. 

"Why don’t you try and catch it?" Sirius suggested. "It would make a great pet or you can just play around with it until it gets boring. That would be your treasure of the day."

"But... but it's far out in the water," said Regulus apprehensively. "I can't swim..."

"It isn't that deep."

"Mother will be angry if I get my clothes wet."

Sirius looked at Narcissa who stood close to the edge of the pond and got an idea.

"Why don't you go get it for him," he snickered and gave her a little push, making her lose her balance and fall into the pond with a loud splash. Sirius couldn't help but laugh when Narcissa shrieked and cried as Andromeda pulled her out.

"He pushed me!" screamed Narcissa. Look what he's done! Look at my dress! I'm telling Mother!"

Mrs. Black and Aunt Druella, who had been fairly close by, looking at the orchid garden, had heard the screaming and came running. 

"What on earth is happening here?" gasped Druella, seeing her youngest daughter soaked. "Narcissa?"

"He did it!" she sobbed, pointing at Sirius. "He pushed me!"

Sirius quickly wiped the grin off his face and put his hands behind his back. "Well, she wanted to be nice to Regulus, seeing he is her favourite cousin, so I just told her to go get the frog for him, and I just gave her a little pat on the back and she jumped in, I suppose," Sirius tried to explain, looking as innocent as he could.

"You LIAR!" shrieked Narcissa.

Mrs. Black did not believe him either, because she rushed up to him, grabbed him be the ear and marched off, dragging him along.

"What did I tell you about behaving?" she snarled. "Why must you always be such an insufferable scamp? Just you wait until our guests have gone home!"

"But Mother," Sirius begged, following her unwillingly. "I didn't mean for her to fall in. She just tripped. Honestly!"

"Lying to my face?" she hissed. "You better keep your tongue! I will not hear another peep from you today! You will stay in your room and Kreacher will serve your dinner there tonight!"

"What? No, Mother! I was supposed to have a picnic with the others," Sirius begged but was just pushed into his room and the door closed in his face before he could argue further.

Kreacher appeared at the pond with the picnic basket just as Aunt Druella had escorted her crying daughter inside. "Here is your basket, Masters and Miss," he croaked, bowing low. He spread out a blanket and Andromeda sat down on it.

"Come sit with me," she smiled at Regulus. 

Regulus sat down, peaking shyly into the basket. He liked Andromeda, she was always so kind, but he was still a little shy. Especially when Sirius was not there. 

"Anything special you're looking for?" asked Andromeda, looking into the basket as well. “Ooh, those look good.”

Regulus nodded without looking up at her and took a lemon tart from the basket.

"Does Master Regulus want Kreacher to pour tea?"

Regulus nodded happily and Kreacher served tea for both children.  
Andromeda took a biscuit as well, eating it with delight. A light breeze caught her hair, caressing her face lightly. "Perfect weather for a picnic."

Regulus nodded, peering at her for a second, then cast his gaze down again. He didn't know what to say to her.

"So," she smiled and put down her cup. "Have you and Sirius found many treasures out here?"

"Er... yes... Sirius always find things. Inside too. But sometimes he play with things we're not allowed to, and... Mother get angry."

"Yes he does get in trouble a lot, I think. I‘ve never been on a visit here without it happening. Too bad for him.”

Regulus shook his head. "He don't mind."

Narcissa came back in a new dress and sat down to join them. When they had finished their tea, she said, "Come on, let's go inside and play. We can play dress-up!"

"Dress-up?" Regulus gulped. He knew the girls loved dressing up as classy ladies, but he didn't know what he was supposed to wear. 

"Yes, we brought a whole bag full of clothes and I'm sure we can borrow some of Aunt Walburga’s make-up!"

"Oh yes, what a good idea," beamed Andromeda and got up. "Won't you play along, Regulus? We’ll make you look so nice. You have such a pretty face and hair."

"Um... ok," said Regulus. Maybe they had brought boys' clothes as well. Unlike the last time.

**o0o0o**

"This will look good on you," Narcissa beamed, showing Regulus a pink dress and a tiara.

Regulus eyed the dress and bit his lip. It was very girly and he did not much like the idea of wearing it, but the girls were excited and nice to him so he didn't protest. 

Sirius peeped out the door of his room and seeing that the coast was clear he stepped out and tiptoed down the hallway. He heard giggling coming from Regulus' room so he opened the door. Just as he was about to ask if he could join in on the fun, he stopped dead in his tracks, spotting his baby brother in the pink dress.

"What have you done to him? You're turning him into a girl!"

"So what? We're just playing dress-up! And Regina is such a pretty girl," said Narcissa, watching Andromeda combing Regulus' half-long hair. 

"His name is Regulus and he is a boy!" Sirius protested and stomped his foot. "Back away from him before he turns into a girl! I don't want a sister!"

"Take it easy, Sirius," said Andromeda. "We're just playing. Regulus doesn't mind, do you, Reggie?"

Regulus looked at her, then Narcissa and back at Andromeda. He didn't really like it, but he liked the girls and he didn't want Sirius getting into another fight, so he just shook his head. “I don’t mind…” 

Sirius stared at him for a moment. "You're going to turn out weird if you let them dress you up in girls’ clothes," he mumbled and sat down on the edge of the bed. “I’ll just keep an eye on what they're doing to you.”

"What do you want to do with his hair?" asked Narcissa, turning her attention back to Regulus. 

"We could braid it?" suggested Andromeda. "Or maybe it's not long enough..."

"We could cut it. Just shorten his fringe. Do we have some scissors?"

"N... n-no," said Regulus with a shaky voice. He didn't want his hair cut. He wanted it the way it was - like Sirius'.

Andromeda looked at him and smiled. "But you will look so pretty with a shorter fringe," she said and got up.

"He told you no, so don't cut his bloody hair!" Sirius protested and got to his feet again. "Come on, Regulus. Let's go play something boyish and leave the girls to dress up."

Regulus looked from the girls to Sirius, not sure what to do. 

"No, it's okay, Reggie. We won't cut your hair, then. But let's go find some of Aunt Walburga's make-up!" said Narcissa and took Regulus’ hand, dragging him out of the room. 

About five minutes later they returned and Narcissa sat Regulus down and produced a lipstick. "This looks like a good colour for you!"

Regulus eyed the lipstick hesitantly. "It... It's pink," was all he could think of saying. 

"Yes, it will go nicely with your dress!"

"Next you’re going to tell him he needs to marry a man, aren’t you?" Sirius commented.

"Don't be silly," said Andromeda. 

"Yes, he should marry a prince!" cheered Narcissa. "He's a pretty little princess!"

"N-no," protested Regulus. "I'm a prince. My name says so."

"Your name is a star," corrected Andromeda. 

"Yes, but it means _little prince_ , isn't that right, Sirius?"

"I don’t know - I mean - yes it does! So you can’t play dress up with him anymore unless it’s boys’ clothes!" Sirius said, crossing his arms.

"You can join the game too, Sirius," Narcissa grinned. "You're named after the dog star so you can be Princess Regina's lap dog."

"I’m no one’s lap dog!" barked Sirius.

A vicious laughter sounded from the door opening. "Are you having fun, girls? Ickle cousin Reggie looks so pretty, and what about Sirius? You're an ugly girl. Where's your dress and make-up? That should improve your looks."

Sirius glared at Bellatrix who stood watching them with a curled smile on her lips. "Why don't you jump into the pond and wash your face with mud? That should improve your looks!"

Bellatrix whipped out her wand and waved it at Sirius. A large purple bow appeared in his hair and with another wave his eyelashes started growing longer and longer, until he looked like a Disney princess. 

"What did you do to me?" he screamed, looking into a mirror. "Revers it!" he commanded, pointing at her with a shaking finger.

Andromeda and Narcissa giggled.

"Oh, I would, but..." Bellatrix said in a sugary voice. "Using magic outside of school is not allowed. Too bad. You'll just have to learn to live with it."

"You just used magic!" Sirius yelled and stomped his foot. "Remove it or I’ll tell Uncle!”

"Ooh! The little baby's going to tell on me?"

Sirius could feel tears of rage threatening to spill. "Do it!" he screamed and ripped the bow out of his hair.

"Come on, Bella," said Andromeda. "Undo the spell."

But Bellatrix just laughed and left. 

"Come here, Sirius," said Andromeda and steered him into Regulus' bathroom where she found a small pair of scissors. "We'll just trim them. Hold still."

Sirius sat as still as he could and sniffed a few times. "You sure you know what you're doing?" he mumbled.

"Yes, just hold still," said Andromeda as she brought the scissors frighteningly close to Sirius' eye. 

"M-maybe we should go to Mother," suggested Regulus, suddenly scared that his cousin was going to stab his brother's eye out. 

"Oh, don't worry," said Narcissa and stroked Regulus’ hair.

The result was less than satisfactory. The lashes were not straight and on one eye there were barely any left. 

"How does it look?" Sirius asked as his cousin put the scissors down. 

"Um... fine, I guess," Andromeda said, tilting her head. 

Sirius jumped over in front of the mirror and looked at himself. "You... you almost cut all of them off on one eye!" he cried and let a finger run over his missing eyelashes. He took a deep breath and tried to act cool. "But I guess it's better than those long lashes I had before.”

Narcissa giggled. "Bella is right – he _is_ an ugly girl!"

"Shut up, Cissy!" Sirius said and stuck his tongue out at her. He swore to himself that he would get Bellatrix back for this one day. He was the master of pranks so he would think of a brilliant one. One she would never forget.

"Uh-oh," said Andromeda suddenly.

They all looked at Sirius' eyelashes that were now growing back to the extreme length Bellatrix had jinxed them to be. 

"We have to get an adult."

"Reggie, you go," said Narcissa, giving Regulus a gentle push out the door.

Regulus hesitated out in the hallway, not at all fond of having to be the one to tell. Then he sighed and went downstairs and into the parlour where he found his mother and aunt having tea with their husbands. He stopped in the doorway, the words getting stuck in his throat when he saw that Bellatrix was also there. 

"Yes, Regulus? What is it?" asked his mother.

Regulus was afraid to speak. What if Bellatrix got mad at him for squealing? What if she turned him into a frog or something?

His mother looked at him and put her cup down, eying the outfit he had on. "Did you kids play dress-up again? I do say your daughters like to dress up little Regulus," she chuckled, looking at Druella. She then turned her gaze back to Regulus. "Was there something that you wanted?"

"Er... Sirius’ eye hair magicked long," he whispered, glancing nervously at Bellatrix out of the corner of his eye. 

"What are you saying? Speak up!" his father ordered. 

Regulus repeated himself a little louder. 

"I told that boy to stay in his room and he disobeyed," Mrs. Black muttered. "Orion, dear, will you handle this while I have Kreacher tend to dinner?"

Orion sighed and got up as he grumbled, "That bloody boy..."

"It... It wasn't Sirius," said Regulus in a small voice. “He didn't do it."

"Then who did?"

"Um... I... S-someone else. I didn't see who…” stuttered Regulus. 

Bellatrix sent him a nasty smile.

Sirius was sitting on the bed when his father came into the room and bit his lip nervously when spotting him.

"What have you done now? Didn't your mother tell you to stay in your room?"

"I haven't done anything! I just went here to watch them play dress up and Bellatrix put a hex on me. You can ask Regulus if it isn’t true!"  
Mr. Black sighed. He didn't have to ask Regulus to know that Sirius was speaking the truth. Bellatrix was the only one of the children who had a wand and could do controlled magic. And even with uncontrolled magic, his son was unlikely to do something like this. 

"Well, you probably asked for it," he grumbled while restoring Sirius' original eyelashes with a flick. "Now, I don't want any more trouble for the rest of the day." He stopped in the door. "And get Regulus out of that. He looks like a clown."

They stood in silence for a few seconds before Sirius elbowed Regulus in the ribs and grinned. "Told you you looked ridiculous."

"Well... you looked stupid too with your eyes and bow," mumbled Regulus.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

  
**Chapter 2 – “Where’s Your Sense of Adventure?”**  


A few years had passed and Sirius had not shaped up when it came to behaving. At least a few times a week he was sent to his room and not allowed out before the next day. Had it not been for Regulus, he wouldn't have gotten many of the sweets that were usually served after dinner. Regulus would hide some in his pockets and sneak them into Sirius' room.

"Thanks," Sirius mumbled and sent his brother a smile. "I don't see what the problem was. Kreacher wasn't badly hurt."

"He could have been," said Regulus, frowning. "You should be nicer to Kreacher, Sirius. He's a good elf and helps us all."

"He’s also very fun to play tricks on," mused Sirius and fumbled with a sweet wrapper. "But fine... I'll try not to make so much fun of him if you really want me to."

"Thank you," said Regulus, hugging the big plush hippogriff uncle Alphard had given him for Christmas. Regulus rarely went anywhere without it. 

**o0o0o**

"SIRIUS! REGULUS!" a voice called up the stairs the next morning. "Come down for your French class!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and got up from his bed. "Guess we have to go and listen to boring stories about the French Revolution in a language no one cares about."

"In the lounge," said their mother, meeting them at the bottom of the stairs. "Professor Chapelle is waiting. And put away that animal, Regulus! It is not time for play."

Regulus grudgingly called for Kreacher and asked him to take his hippogriff back to his room. 

Sirius took his little brother’s hand and walked into the lounge where Professor Chapelle was waiting by the table. Sirius felt sleepy just by looking at her with her dull clothes, hair in a tight bun and round glasses that made her eyes look too big for her face.

Two long hours later the lesson was over and they had an hour's break before the Latin professor arrived. They had lunch in the kitchen. Regulus liked to eat there because it was where Kreacher spent most of his time and Regulus liked to hang around there. Sirius liked it only because their mother did not think it was suitable for wizards to eat in the kitchen.

Sirius pushed his plate away and laid his head on the table. "Ugh... feed me to a dragon, already," he moaned. "I can't see any reason for us to have French and Latin at such a young age. I bet Muggles don't."

"You're not a Muggle, Sirius. Wizards are more civilized, especially pure-bloods, especially Blacks. That's why," said Regulus as if it were an undisputed fact. 

"Oh stop it, Reggie, you sound like Mother. Who says we are better than they are, anyway?”

"Everyone says so, so it must be true. And you don't know any Muggles, so you don't know that it’s not. "

"Well you don't know any either," Sirius pointed out.

"Do the young Masters want some strawberry tart?" sounded Kreacher's bullfrog-voice. "Kreacher has just baked them."

Mrs. Black normally did not allow the boys sweets in the daytime, but Kreacher liked to spoil Regulus in secret.

Sirius turned his attention to the elf. "Yeah, I want some."

Kreacher ignored Sirius and waited for Regulus to answer. When Regulus said yes please, Kreacher gave him a tart and then turned to walk back to the kitchen counter.

"Hey, what about me, you stupid elf? I said I wanted one too!" yelled Sirius.

Kreacher stopped and hesitated for a second, then turned around and trudged back to the table. "Sorry, Master, Kreacher did not hear."

"I bet you did," Sirius snapped. "You just didn't want to give me one. And if you didn't hear me, then that means you’re getting old and your head is going on the wall."

"Sirius!" gasped Regulus, staring at his brother in disbelief.  "How can you talk to him like that?"

"No worries, Master Regulus," hummed Kreacher as he placed a tart on Sirius’ plate. "Kreacher is used to his abuse.” Then he left to go back to his duties. 

"Why are you always so nasty to him?" Regulus demanded. 

"He doesn’t treat me any better," Sirius said and took a bite of his cake. "And this one he asked for. He didn't give me a tart like he did you. He just ignored me."

"That's because I'm nice to him. If you were nice to him too, he would also be nice to you. It's your own fault."

"It isn’t," Sirius protested and took another bite. "I could be a lot meaner if I wanted to. Besides, it doesn’t really hurt him."

"It does. He has feelings too, and he's a good person," insisted Regulus. 

"He's an elf, not a person," Sirius mumbled and sat back in his chair. "He isn't your friend. He’s a servant of this house. I thought you listened to everything Mother said."

"And you say I should be open-minded. Muggles are not our friends but Kreacher is. Why do you want to be nice to Muggles but not Kreacher?"

"Who said I wanted to be nice to Muggles? I just said that they probably have a lot more fun than we do. And fine, I won't bother Kreacher so much. That make you happy?"

"Yes, that makes me happy," said Regulus and smiled. “If you can actually keep your promise this time.”

**o0o0o**

"So,” asked Mr. Black, while he was giving the monthly pay to the professor who was teaching both English and Math. “How are our sons doing?"

"Sirius is an extraordinarily bright boy. Very intelligent. He can get far if he wants to."

"And Regulus?"

"Very intelligent too. Perhaps not quite as talented as his brother, but he's a hard worker and so well behaved," smiled the professor. 

Mr. and Mrs. Black exchanged looks, satisfied to hear that their boys were doing well.

"Make sure that Regulus keeps up the good work and keep an eye on Sirius so he behaves," ordered Mrs. Black.

"Yes," sighed the professor. "That does seem to be his only problem. He does not have a lot of self-discipline, I'm afraid. But I suppose age might mature him some. Regulus, on the other hand, is very quiet and concentrated for a five-year-old. And so polite."

"Regulus has always been a good boy and we are proud of him," nodded Mrs. Black. "And about Sirius: don’t hesitate using whatever punishment you see fit to keep him in line. Merlin knows he needs it.”

**o0o0o**

"Sirius, no!" whispered Regulus and pulled at his brother’s sleeve as he snuck the front door open. "We're not allowed to go into the street!"

"Where’s your sense of adventure?" asked Sirius, turning his head. "I’m just going to have a look outside, that’s all."

"But..." protested Regulus as he let himself be dragged outside. “What if Mother finds out? She will punish us very hard."

"She won’t find out, you sissy," Sirius muttered and stepped outside. The sunlight blinded him and he had to put a hand up to shield his eyes. "Wicked!” he said, looking around. “Let’s go find some Muggles!"

"Muggles?" gasped Regulus. "They're dangerous, Sirius! They aren’t like us. And Mother says -"

"Mother says a lot of things but how are we supposed to know for ourselves if we don’t see any? I promise I won’t talk to them. Just watch."

"W-what if they attack us? They walk around with all sorts of weapons. Things that explode and stuff. We don't have wands. We can't protect ourselves," protested Regulus.

"They’re not dangerous," Sirius said and started walking down the pavement. 

"How do you know?" persisted Regulus, as he followed Sirius, shooting a glance over his shoulder to see if anyone was watching them. "You've never met any."

"Well, neither have you so how do you know they will hurt us?" Sirius grinned. “Blimey - just think what mother would say if she saw us now!"

Regulus let out a whimper at the thought of what she would say if she could see them now. "Where are we going, Sirius?"

"Just a bit down the street and see who we meet." Sirius took his brother’s hand as he continued down the street. However, they did not get far before a roar sounded behind them.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOURE DOING? GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!"

Sirius turned on his heels and spotted his mother in the doorway. Seeing his brother cower in fear, he hurried back to the house with him in tow.

"Inside," Mrs. Black hissed, her face contorted with rage. 

As soon as the door slammed shut she rounded on them and started screaming like only she could scream. 

Regulus tried to hide behind Sirius. He had heard his mother scream and rant like this before, but rarely as loud and rarely at him. 

Sirius gulped. He knew they were in very big trouble. He only hoped she wouldn’t hit them. Especially Regulus.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? WHAT KIND OF EXAMPLE ARE YOU SETTING FOR YOUR BROTHER? YOU’RE HIS ROLE MODEL!"

"I just wanted to see some Muggles! I’ve never met any and I wanted to know more about them!”

“You know all you need to know about Muggles," hissed Mrs. Black. "They're uncivilized and filthy! I will NOT have my blood interacting with them!"

"But Mother," Sirius started but she slapped him hard across the cheek before he could say another word, leaving the boy stunned and fighting back tears.

"NO EXCUSES! You know perfectly well what the rules are and when you break them there is punishment! I'm going to have a serious talk with your father about whether we have been too soft on you!"

Regulus had reeled back when their mother had hit Sirius, and he was still standing there, staring at her with wide eyes. 

"And you -" said Mrs. Black, stepping in front of Regulus. "What were you doing out there?" She wasn't yelling like she had at Sirius but still speaking loudly and sternly. 

Regulus' mouth fell open. He didn't know what to say. He didn't want to blame Sirius, but he was also afraid of saying something that would land himself punishment. 

"Speak, child!"

Regulus just stood there, frozen in fear. Had he known what to say, he probably wouldn't have been able to talk anyway. 

"It’s my fault," Sirius said and hung his head. "I made him go. Told him to grow up and not be such a baby."

Mrs. Black looked at her eldest son and then back to Regulus. "Is that true?"

Regulus still didn't speak. If he said yes, he would be blaming Sirius, if he said no, he would get punished. 

"SPEAK!"

"I... I..." he trailed off, but Mrs. Black didn't seem to have any more patience and smacked him across the cheek. Not as hard as she had smacked Sirius, but still leaving an angry red mark. 

"I said it was my fault!" Sirius yelled, glaring furiously at his mother. He looked over at Regulus who stood with his head bent and shoulders raised to his ears, sobbing quietly.

She rounded on him, snarling, "Oh, I know it was. But this should teach him to not listen to you!" She turned back to Regulus. "You obey me and your father, NOT your brother! Is that understood?"

Regulus nodded, keeping his head down, so his fringe shielded his eyes. 

"Is that understood?" she repeated. 

"Yes, Mother," Regulus whispered, trying to hide that he was crying. 

Sirius glared back at his mother before he dropped his head and stood with his arms down his sides.  He felt very guilty and promised himself that he wouldn’t get Regulus in trouble again. It wasn’t worth it. His brother was crying and he probably hated him now for putting him in this situation.

**o0o0o**

Later that night Sirius snuck out of his room, tiptoed down to Regulus’ room, and carefully pushed down the door handle. 

"Reggie?" he asked as he slipped inside and closed the door. "Are you awake?"

Regulus pretended to be asleep. He hadn't been sleeping at all and, in fact, still had a few tears on his cheek. He didn't want Sirius to see how weak he was, and he was also a little mad at him for insisting on going out when he knew it was wrong. 

Sirius stepped closer to the bed and looked at the back of his still brother. "I dunno if you can hear me, but I’m really sorry. I thought we could get away with seeing just one Muggle. I was just curious. But I’ll leave you alone now," he mumbled and turned to walk back to his room.

"Sirius," said Regulus as his brother reached the door. "I'm not asleep."

Sirius turned and walked back to the bed sending his brother a careful smile. "I’m sorry she slapped you, Reggie," he said after a moment’s silence. "I didn’t think she would find out."

Regulus just nodded, clutching his hippogriff to his chest with one arm and lifting the covers with the other, hoping Sirius would stay the night. He felt horribly lonely, even though Kreacher had tried to cheer him up. He was pleased when Sirius climbed in and made himself comfortable.

Regulus felt better lying there, feeling his brother's warmth. He snivelled and asked, "How can you keep disobeying when you know how angry she gets?" He didn't understand how Sirius dared. Regulus was terrified of their mother, and Sirius had received frequent and much harder punishment from her than Regulus ever had. She had only hit him a couple of times but Sirius had tried it countess times. And all the screaming was almost as scary as when she beat, Regulus thought. 

Sirius sighed and shook his head slowly. "I don’t know why I did what I did, but I just thought that it would be fun to see some Muggles. I didn’t think we would get caught and surely not that she would hit you."

"I don't mean just today. You behave bad almost every day. Not always as bad as today, but still. Why? You know you get in trouble."

"I don’t know why," Sirius mumbled.

Regulus didn't say anything else. He just crept a little closer and wrapped his arm tighter around his brother as he let sleep take him. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 – “Sirius Has Been Stupid Today”**

Sirius stood in front of the mirror studying himself. Yes, he looked presentable for the large pure-blood party the family were invited to. He adjusted his robes and smiled, looking forward to meeting some new, hopefully interesting, people.

The brothers always received a lot of attention at parties such as this. Many of the other pure-blood families looked up to (and as Sirius said _sucked_ up to) the Blacks. Sirius thrived in the centre of things, he always had. Regulus didn't like the attention. He was shy, and most of the attention he got was women stroking his hair saying how adorable and pretty he was, as if he were some stupid girl, while Sirius was admired for being the strong and self-confident heir to the House of Black. 

Sirius nodded and smiled at people as they passed but as soon as they had gone, he eyed Regulus and stuck his finger in his mouth as if he were gagging.

"Cheers," sounded a voice to his right. 

Sirius turned to spot a boy about his own age standing with a half-eaten crab-cake, grinning. He had round glasses and messy dark hair. Interesting. Sirius wondered what kind of mother would let her son get away with wearing his hair like that to a party.

"James Potter," the boy introduced himself.

Sirius tilted his head and eyed the boy. "So James… are you just as bored as me? My parents ordered me to behave but I’m dying to prank someone."

“Sounds good. What’s your name?”

Sirius offered James his hand and sent him a goofy grin. ”I’m Sirius Black.”

"Are you _serious_?" said James, trying to keep a straight face. 

"Pretty serious," Sirius said and tossed his hair as if he were a model.

"Well, in that case -" grinned James, "got a serious idea for a prank?"

Sirius hummed and dapped his chin with his index. "We could prank some of those snobs. It would be brilliant if we knew some spells. Oh, I can’t wait to go to Hogwarts and learn some good jinxes."

"Me too! But you can do a lot without magic. Just think of how well Muggles manage without magic."

" I haven’t actually met any Muggles," Sirius said. "I tried to go out into the Muggle world a few years ago but my brother and I got in major trouble with our mother."

"You got a brother? You're lucky! I'm an only child. Is he cool? Where is he?"

"He’s great," Sirius said and pointed at the small boy standing next to their parents. "My brother Regulus. He looks up to me," he said, puffing out his chest.

"Yeah?" said James, looking Sirius up and down. "Well, that's because he's so small!" he continued with a cheeky grin.

Sirius laughed. "You’re funny."

“Did you say you were a Black? I have a grandmother who’s a Black.”

“Wicked! So we’re related. Well, I suppose all pure-blood families are related in some way.”

"Yes,” nodded James. “My dad says it would actually be healthy to get some new blood into the family or something, so if I want to marry a half-blood or Muggleborn that's fine by him."

Sirius’ jaw dropped. "Really? My mother would blow my name off the wall if I did that. She probably already planned how my life is going to turn out but I want to do my own thing and I can’t wait to go away for Hogwarts. Going to miss my brother but he will be there soon after, so I guess he will be okay. Mother loves him, anyway, since he’s the good son."

"That blows... Well - how about that prank? Look, I got this the other day at Zonko's," said James and pulled out a small box from his robes. "It's bulbadox powder. It gives you boils. We could sneak it onto somebody."

"Wicked!" Sirius gasped, eying the box. "Who should we use it on? We could use it on my cousin Bellatrix or Narcissa or one of those stuck up blokes. Or we could put it in some of the food!" said Sirius excitedly. Finally a friend who had the same way of thinking as him. Someone who would even bring a box of bulbadox powder to a party.

"If we put it in the food we won't know who eats it," speculated James. “We should go for a specific victim.

"All right. Who?"

"I don't know... That bloke over there looks like someone pooped on his breakfast," said James, eying a sullen looking teenager at the buffet. 

"Yeah, you’re right." Sirius looked at James and sent him a broad smile. "Let’s prank him!"

"Or that one, do you know him?" asked James, pointing at a young man with blond hair braided in a ponytail, looking like he was trying to impress Bellatrix and Narcissa. "That black-haired bird he's chatting up, isn't she from your family? She sure looks like it."

"Yeah, that’s my cousin Bellatrix. She’s an evil bitch,” groaned Sirius. "And the blonde is Lucius Malfoy, a right git. I met him a few times. He thinks he’s Mr. Universe.”

"Well, he could do with a bit of bulbadox powder, then," grinned James. "How do we get it on him?"

"I could distract him and you put it on. Or what about putting it on his food? “

"Usually you put it in somebody's clothes when it's off and when they put them on, it makes contact with the skin. But maybe it works if we put it on his food or in his drink. We can try! The worst that can happen is that it doesn't work. Why don't you distract them? They’re your cousin after all, so it won't seem strange - then I'll slip something in his drink," suggested James. 

Sirius agreed and headed off in the direction of Malfoy and Bellatrix.

"Hi," he said as he strolled up to them and sent them a smile. "Nice party isn’t it?"

Bellatrix eyed him suspiciously and crossed her arms. "What do you want, Sirius?" she said, her lip curling into a sneer.

"Can’t I ask my own cousin if she’s having a good time?” asked Sirius, putting up an innocent expression.

"Spare me your rubbish. You’re just sticking your nose into other people’s business like always. You better learn to keep it to yourself or someone will hex it off someday."

In the meantime James had stopped close to them and, under the pretence of selecting a new crab-cake, discretely dropped a pinch of bulbadox powder into Malfoy's drink. Then he strolled off again, munching on his food. 

"Well, in that case I’ll go talk to someone else. I’m rather fond of my nose. It’s better looking than yours.” Sirius hurried off before Bellatrix could retort and found James not far away. "Did you do it?" he snickered and rubbed his hands.

"Yes. Now we just have to wait.”

They didn't have to wait long. Suddenly Narcissa let out a shriek and pointed at Malfoy's face. 

"What?" he asked. Then he felt his face where several large boils had appeared. 

Mr. and Mrs. Malfoy hurried over to their son and Mrs. Malfoy let out a cry as she saw him. "What happened?" she shrieked and looked from Lucius to the young women.

"I don't know!" sneered Lucius and scurried off, obviously not interested in attracting any more attention. 

"That was fun," Sirius laughed. "Didn’t cause much of a scene but at least he got what was coming to him." He looked around for someone else to prank. "Do you have more powder or should we do something else?" 

The boys snuck around and did a few more pranks such as scaring some of the girls with a fake spider.

Regulus had noticed Sirius running around with James, and he couldn't help but feel a sting of jealousy at the sight of his brother having so much fun with another boy. He walked up to them at some point. 

"What are you doing?"

Sirius turned to look at his brother. "We are just playing," he said. Then he introduced James and Regulus to each other. "This is my little brother, Regulus. He doesn’t like pranks but he won’t tell on us."

Regulus was tempted to say that he _did_ like pranks, just so he could be included in their games, but he really didn't. He hated getting in trouble, especially with his parents. 

"Hello, Regulus," chirped James. 

Regulus shook his hand politely, but looked away shyly. 

"Regulus is a good brother,” said Sirius and ruffled Regulus’ hair. "Hey, James, when are you going to Hogwarts by the way?”

"Next year."

"Me too!"

"Yeah?” beamed James. “Maybe we will be in the same house! Where are you going, you think? I'm probably going to Gryffindor, because that's where both my parents went."

"My parents expect Slytherin but it would be fun to go somewhere else," Sirius mumbled. "Everybody in our family have gone to Slytherin so they would be shocked if I didn't."

"Of course you're going to Slytherin," said Regulus determinedly. "All Blacks are Slytherin."

"Well, I don’t want to be in Slytherin," Sirius said. "I’d rather go to Gryffindor with James."

Regulus stared at Sirius, his lips pressed together. Without a word he turned around and left. So Sirius would rather share house with some stupid boy he had just met? Rather than staying in Slytherin with his brother where he belonged?

Sirius looked a little surprised by Regulus’ sudden departure. "Do you think he got upset?" he asked James. "No one says he can’t go to Gryffindor too..."

James shrugged. "Don't know, mate. Don't know him. But he sure looks like a serious little chap, doesn't he?" Then he laughed. "He should have had your name!"

"You’re a funny bloke," Sirius laughed and slapped James’ shoulder. "I guess I’ll talk to him about it when we get home."

"Hey," said James. "Let's ask our parents if we can arrange a play date."

Sirius agreed and James found his parents in the crowd and dragged them along to meet Mr. and Mrs. Black. 

"Hello?" Mr. Black greeted them and shook Mr. Potter’s hand.

"Fleamont Potter," smiled James’ father. "And my wife Euphemia and son James."

"Ah, Mr. Potter," smiled Orion. He didn’t know them well but he knew that they were very wealthy. "Orion Black. Nice to meet you. This is my wife Walburga and my sons Sirius and Regulus."

"Oh, yes, I could guess you were Blacks. You people can't hide in a crowd," Mr. Potter chuckled.

"And such handsome sons," added Mrs. Potter.

Mr. Black put his hands on Sirius’ shoulders and smiled proudly. Mrs. Black did the same with Regulus who looked a little gloomy. "Yes, we do have very handsome sons," she smiled. "And your son is... adorable," she continued, eying James’ messy hair.

"James?" laughed Mr. Potter. "He's a little rascal, is what he is, but a good boy. So - it seems he and your Sirius have taken a liking to each other."

"Yeah, we would like to arrange a play date!" said James. 

"Would that be okay with you?" asked Mrs. Potter. "Sirius could come visit us next weekend."

"Well... Sirius rarely leaves the house," said Mrs. Black quickly. She was not fond of the idea of Sirius being in the hands of people whose blood status values she didn’t know.

"Well..." said Mrs. Potter, eying Mrs. Black a little sceptically. “If you would rather have James over, that would be fine, too."

"That would be more suitable," Mrs. Black agreed. 

Mr. Black gave Sirius' shoulder a light squeeze. "I’m sure they will have a lot of fun. _Respectable_ fun," he added.

Regulus was looking down at his feet, scowling and sneaking peeks at James' parents. He wished his mother would let go of his shoulders so he could get away. 

Mr. Black gave them the address and they talked for a few minutes about this and that, letting go of the children.

"Wait here," Sirius said to James and headed off after Regulus. "Reggie, come on. What are you so mad about?" he asked, spinning his little brother around. 

"I'm not mad," said Regulus coolly. "I just don't want to talk to you right now. I want to talk to Cissy, and I know you don't." He shook Sirius' hand off and headed resolutely in the direction of his cousin. 

"Since when don’t you want to talk to me?" called Sirius after him but Regulus just kept going.

**o0o0o**

Regulus avoided Sirius when they came home. He went to his room right away and asked Kreacher to help him sort some of his things because he hoped it would keep Sirius at a distance. Sirius’ relationship with Kreacher had not exactly improved during the last few years. 

Sirius knocked on the doorframe and leaned against it, watching his little brother. "Are you going to tell me what bothers you or what?" he asked, ignoring Kreacher. He hated that Regulus was mad at him since he was the only one in the house he could actually stand.

"Nothing's bothering me," said Regulus, not looking away from what he was doing. "What do you think, Kreacher - should I put the Quidditch books on the left or right shelf? What looks best?"

"You’re not mad but you’ve been ignoring me ever since we came home.” When Regulus kept ignoring him he hissed, “Fine! Be that way!" and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

"Sirius has been stupid today," Regulus told Kreacher. "He said he didn't want to be in Slytherin. He said he would rather be in Gryffindor." He huffed. "Can you believe that?"

Kreacher shook his head. "Master and Mistress will not like if Sirius goes into Gryffindor house, Master Regulus," said Kreacher, looking smug about Regulus being mad at Sirius.

"Why is he like that? I don't understand. He knows Slytherin is the family house. And you should have seen him with some messy boy at the party - running around pranking people. What if Mother or Father had seen? He would have been in so much trouble."

Kreacher shrugged. "Kreacher does not know, Master Regulus. Kreacher thinks Master Sirius is just very reckless, but Hogwarts will sort him into the right house, Kreacher is sure of it."

Regulus sighed. "I hope so, Kreacher." Then he said, "I wish you could come with me to Hogwarts..."

"But Kreacher belongs here, Young Master," Kreacher said and put a history book on the shelf. "Master Regulus will get many new friends at Hogwarts."

"Won't you miss me, though?"

"Of course Kreacher will miss Young Master," the elf nodded. "But Kreacher will always be here when Young Master comes home."

**o0o0o**

Regulus was still ignoring Sirius the next day at breakfast. He buttered his toast, feeling Sirius' gaze burn into him, and asked Kreacher to get him the jam that was sitting right in front of Sirius instead of just asking his brother to pass it to him. 

Sirius kept trying to get his brother’s attention but when nothing happened he picked up his toast and threw it at his face.

Regulus stopped chewing and stared at his brother in disbelief, the jammed toast sticking to his cheek. 

"SIRIUS!" screamed Mrs. Black, jumping to her feet. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, YOU DEMON CHILD!"

"He's ignoring me!" barked Sirius. "He is just jealous because I got a new friend!"

"I don't care what your reason is - I will not accept this kind of behaviour. GO TO YOUR ROOM!" she yelled. When Sirius got up and made to bring his plate she took it away with an "Accio," catching it in the air. "No breakfast for you!"

"What? That’s not fair! He started it! He is the one who’s ignoring me with no good reason!"

"He is eating quietly, not throwing around with things! Why can't you be like him? Why can't you just behave?" Mrs. Black screamed.

"Because everyone hates me in this bloody house!" Sirius screamed back and then marched off.

Regulus stared down at his plate, feeling his ears go a little red. He wasn't sure why, because he hadn't done anything wrong.

Mrs. Black sat back down. "That boy is a menace. How we got stuck with such an ungrateful brat is beyond me."

Orion sighed. "He is unruly, I agree, but at least it shows he has a strong will and personality, as well as self-confidence. He just needs some discipline and to be steered on the right track."

"Well, I can’t wait until that happens," Mrs. Black said and took a sip of tea. "He is just so stubborn."

"Reminds me of someone I know," chuckled Mr. Black. 

Mrs. Black ignored her husband’s comment. "Alright Kreacher. We are done. You may take away the food."

Regulus followed Kreacher to the kitchen. Kreacher was extremely upset that Sirius had thrown his toast in Regulus' face like that, and he insisted on cleaning his cheek thoroughly with water and soap. 

"It's alright, Kreacher. It's just a bit of jam."

"The nasty Sirius should not have thrown toast at Master Regulus," Kreacher muttered.

"No. No, he shouldn't."

Regulus picked up a couple of cinnamon rolls before going upstairs. He knocked on Sirius' door. 

"Bugger off," a grumpy voice sounded on the other side of the door.

Regulus entered anyway, finding Sirius lying on his bed with his back turned. "Are you mad at me now? I'm not the one who threw toast."

Sirius turned on the bed. "I didn’t know it was you. I thought it might have been mother who came to lecture me." He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. "What do you want?"

“She doesn't usually knock, does she?" Regulus walked up to Sirius' bed and handed him the cinnamon rolls. “I brought you these, since you decided to throw your food instead of eating it."

"Thanks," Sirius said and took a bite. He eyed his brother for a moment. "Nice to see you haven’t completely cut me off."

"Just because I don't talk to you constantly," said Regulus, crossing his arms. "I do have other things to do, you know, than talk to you."

"Yeah, but you don’t have to ignore me like that. It’s rude.” Sirius held out a cinnamon roll. "You want one?"

Regulus shook his head. "I'm full." He was still a little hurt because of what Sirius had said yesterday. He sat down on the bed. "You said you didn't want to be in Slytherin with me."

"I didn’t say I didn’t want to be with you. I just said that I wasn’t up for going to Slytherin if I could avoid it. And who says _you’re_ going to Slytherin? You know there’s some sort of hat that places you in the right house so I don’t have a saying and neither do you. But I’d love to be in the same house as you. I never said I didn't want that."

"You might as well have said you didn't want to be in my house. You _know_ I'm going to Slytherin. I'm a good Black, Mother says so. You just want to be in Gryffindor because you know that's the house they hate the most."

"It doesn’t make me less of a Black to go my own way, you know, so stop being a snob. You act like I’ve already been sorted into Gryffindor."

"You said you wanted to!" said Regulus, feeling anger stir in him again. "You don't care if you're in another house than me! It's more important to you to bother Mother and Father! You don't care about me!"

Sirius looked startled and put the cinnamon roll down. "Of course I care about you, Reggie. What makes you think I don’t? Just because of some stupid house? I’ll still be your brother no matter what."

"Well... don't say it, then," mumbled Regulus, not knowing what else to say. Also, he hated fighting. 

"I’m sorry," Sirius mumbled. "I promise I won’t mention the house sorting again, then."

**o0o0o**

Mrs. Potter arrived with James Tuesday morning. Mrs. Black invited her in for tea, as was the polite thing to do.

"Hi," grinned James to Sirius. “Big house. I bet you have loads of rooms."

"We do, but most of them are rarely used," grinned Sirius. "My father keeps most of them locked because some of them have magical artefacts in them." He leaned close to James and whispered. "He even put wards on the house so the use of magic can't be detected. Pretty cool, yeah?"

"What?" said James, his eyes widening. "Wicked! Then, when we're home on holiday we can do magic here!"

"Yes, we can," grinned Sirius. "And we have a house elf we can practice on."

"Really? We have one too, but Mum and Dad says we have to treat her well. I agree, of course, but what's the harm in a few harmless pranks, yeah?"

Regulus who was standing by the banister heard them and narrowed his eyes. That James bloke better not start pulling pranks on Kreacher. It was one thing that Sirius did it, but for some stranger to just walk in and...

"That’s what I keep telling my brother but he insists that I treat him with respect, even though the blasted elf is always nasty to me," said Sirius. "Well, shall we go to my room and leave the old women to drink their tea?"

Sirius raced up the stairs past Regulus without noticing him, and James just gave a quick "Hi" before disappearing with Sirius into his room. 

Regulus stood for a minute not sure what to do, then sighed and shuffled into the lounge where the mothers were sitting.

"Hello, Mrs. Potter," he said and shook her hand politely when Mrs. Black told him to. Then he sat down and had Kreacher pour him a cup of tea. 

"What a sweet little boy," Mrs. Potter said and sent Regulus a soft smile. "You really have a lovely home and family."

Regulus was soon bored to death by the two women’s chat. Evidently Mr. Potter held a rather important post in the Ministry, and Mrs. Black was very interested in that. Regulus had the feeling that if the Potters hadn't been rich or had prestigious jobs, she wouldn't have bothered with Mrs. Potter at all. She didn't seem the type his mother usually socialized with.

"So what does your husband do?" smiled Mrs. Potter and put her cup down.

"Orion is a stock broker like his father before him, and just as successful. It is in his genes."

 "Oh, that sounds exciting. And your sons do well in home-school, I reckon? They both seem so bright."

"Yes, they do. Sirius is better at math than any student his professor has ever taught, and Regulus is nearly fluent in Latin," said Mrs. Black proudly.

"You must be very proud," Mrs. Potter said. Then she looked at Regulus. "Why don't you play with the other boys instead of sitting here listening to us go on and on about boring grown-up things?"

Regulus just shrugged and stirred his tea. He had a feeling the boys were doing just fine without him, although he had to admit he was dying to be included. 

"Well, I am sure they wouldn’t mind playing with you," she smiled and accepted another biscuit from Kreacher as he came back with the plate. 

"Regulus is a very serious and mature boy,” said Walburga. “Regulus, perhaps you should go practice the piano or do your grammar exercises?"

"I already did them," said Regulus quietly. 

"Oh, do you play the piano?" Mrs. Potter beamed and put her biscuit down. "I’d love to hear a piece if that is possible."

A loud crash sounded from the entrance hall and both women got to their feet and hurried out, only to find both Sirius and James lying on the floor laughing. 

"What have you DONE?" screeched Mrs. Black, seeing the boys sprawled on the floor along with shards of a large broken vase, which had been sitting at the bottom of the stairs 

"We were trying to slide down the banister at the same time!" said James excitedly as if expecting an applause. 

Regulus glanced at his mother. He knew that if the Potters hadn't been there, Sirius would be up for a beating or at least ten minutes of screaming. Instead Mrs. Black just gritted her teeth and put the vase back together with a "Reparo". 

"Now, if you two would try to act nicely and not break anything else," she said, controlling her voice and sending Sirius a glare of death.

As they went back into the lounge, Mrs. Potter chuckled and said, "Boys will be boys."

Mrs. Black sent Mrs. Potter a half-hearted smile and tried to hide her irritation as they went back to the lounge to finish their tea. 

"Wow, that was fun," grinned Sirius. He liked having James over. He could get away with anything it seemed because his mother wouldn’t risk embarrassing herself in front of such rich and important people. "What should we do now?"

Regulus hung back, hoping that his mother had forgotten about Mrs. Potter's request. He wasn't keen on playing the piano for Mrs. Potter. He didn't much like it when his mother showed him off like that as if he were a dog that could do tricks. But he was not in luck. His mother's sharp voice rang from the lounge. "Regulus! Come play the piano for our guest!"

Sirius eyed Regulus and snickered. James too. It sent a hot rush of embarrassment through Regulus and a sharp sting of betrayal.

Mrs. Potter and Mrs. Black sat down and Mrs. Potter smiled happily at Regulus as he forced himself into the room and over to the piano.

**o0o0o**

A few hours later it was time for the Potters to leave.

"Thank you for a lovely afternoon," smiled Mrs. Potter.

"The pleasure is mine," said Mrs. Black. "You should come by another day with your son.” 

Regulus disappeared to the kitchen. That was the least likely place Sirius would come, because Kreacher was usually there, and Regulus did not want to talk to his brother right now.

"Master Regulus is sad again," said Kreacher, looking worried, as he was putting things away from the day’s event.

"Sirius is stupid. He laughed at me for being forced to play the piano and he only played with James." 

"Kreacher is sorry, Master Regulus. But Master Sirius usually just thinks of himself and forgets his brother. Kreacher does not approve. Oh, no he doesn’t."

"Well, he... sometimes. But mostly he thinks of me too. He's a good brother. Mostly. But sometimes he isn't."

"Master Regulus should not bother so much worrying about the nasty Sirius. Kreacher is sure all will be well in the end. Master Regulus will see."

**o0o0o**

Only two weeks later James came over again. Mrs. Potter didn't stay this time but left to do some shopping while the boys were playing. 

Regulus, again, stood in the background. He might as well - he would probably be overlooked again. 

"You want to go into the garden?" Sirius asked. "We can bring Regulus too. He's probably bored." He nodded in the direction of his younger brother. 

"Well... Is he any fun? He always looks like he's at a funeral."

"He’s just shy," Sirius explained and walked over to his brother. "Want to come with us to the garden? We can look for treasure like we used to," he smiled and patted his brother on the shoulder. 

Regulus eyed his brother and his new friend sceptically. "I don't want to play just because you feel you have to include me. You're having fun on your own, I've learned," he said in a cool voice. 

Sirius eyed him, tilting his head. Then he shrugged and went back to James. "He doesn’t want to play, it seems." He wasn't going to force Regulus to have fun with them. lately Regulus had gotten rather weird. He was acting like Sirius had done something but whenever Sirius asked about it, he would just say nothing was wrong.

Regulus went to his room to sit on the ledge where he had a good view of the garden. From here he could watch them without being seen. They were running around near the pond, looking like they were having the time of their lives.

**o0o0o**

"So you’ve met many Muggles?" Sirius asked as he and James sat down in the grass near the pond. He had ordered Kreacher to get them some tea and biscuits so they could sit in the garden and enjoy them. 

"Yeah," nodded James. "Loads of them. They aren't too different from us, really. Just don't know about magic, that's all. But they know a lot of other stuff, so they manage just fine."

"My mother says they are dangerous, but I never believed her."

"Well, they have weapons and do crime and stuff, but no more than we do, I think. I mean - dark magic is dangerous too."

"So they use weapons?” asked Sirius, his eyes lighting up with excitement. He had always been very interested in Muggles, but had never been able to get any detailed information. “What kind of weapons? I heard that they have diseased and are very primitive. That’s what my mother says, anyway."

"Blimey, she says that? She really doesn't like Muggles, yeah? Well we get ill too, don't we? I guess they can use knives and swords. Those aren't magical. And I've heard they mostly use things that explode. Like they have this kind of stick that they point at someone with and then something shoots out of it and kills whomever it hits. A bit like _Avada_   _Kedavra_. But it isn't as though everybody goes around shooting people. They have pleasemen to control that the law is followed. A bit like Aurors," said James, satisfied with himself for being so knowledgeable. 

"Pleasemen? You sure know a lot of stuff about Muggles. Does your father tell you all this? I bet he works with them."

"No, he works at the Ministry, but my parents have always taken me out to Muggle places, you know, shops and restaurants and such. They think every wizard should be used to socialize with Muggles and Mum says that Muggle Studies at Hogwarts should be obligatory for all students."

"I agree!" Sirius beamed. "I want to come visit you so you can show me around Muggle town." He then sighed. "But I doubt that Mother will let me leave the house until I go to Hogwarts.”

"Well, you go to Diagon Alley and other wizarding places, don't you? How do you get there?"

"The fireplace. We go everywhere by floo powder. I have only been out on the street that one time I slipped out."

" _What_? You've never experienced Muggle London? Diagon Alley and Nocturne Alley is just a tiny part! London is huge! Blimey, they're keeping you here in a prison!"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, both me and my brother. How big is London? Do you have any Muggle items? Can you bring some next time?"

"Sure thing," grinned James. "I'll try. It isn't as if your mother does a full body search on me. I'll bring something electrical. That's how they make light and machines work."

"Muggles sound weird," grinned Sirius and threw a rock into the pond, making the water splash up onto the grass. "I wish I could go to your house, though. Would love to see how you live. I bet it's less gloomy than here."

"Well, maybe we can talk your mum into letting you go if we promise not to take you anywhere else. I'll ask my mum to try."

"That would be great," beamed Sirius and got up from his spot. "Wanna play duel? We just find some sticks for wands."

"Yeah, alright!" grinned James.

**o0o0o**

Regulus was still watching from his windowsill. Even though he told himself that he didn't care, he still hated how Sirius didn't care about him when James was there. How Regulus was basically air to him. How much fun he had with James. He never laughed that much when he was playing with Regulus. And even though he had offered him to join them earlier, Regulus knew he had only done it out of duty. Curiosity finally got the best of him, and he shuffled down to the garden, sitting down by the pond not far from the two others and pretended to be preoccupied with the frogs, which were always hopping around on the lily pads and rocks. 

Sirius spotted his brother and smiled at him before casting a pretend curse on James. When James cast a counter curse, Sirius acted as if he were hit and fell to the ground.

"Ugh! Noooo, Regulus save me!" he shrieked.

"You aren't hurt," scoffed Regulus. "You can't do magic with a stick. It's a stupid game."

Sirius scowled at him and got to his feet, casting another curse at James and ignored Regulus again.

When Sirius and James went inside, Regulus went to get his broom to take it outside for a ride. Although the grounds were big there wasn't much space for flying. There was an invisible barrier around the gardens so Regulus couldn't fly out and Muggles couldn't see him. At least he got a lot of practise in sharp turns. He loved flying, it made him feel so free, and he hoped he could get on the Quidditch team at Hogwarts so he practised as often as he could. He flew around as fast as he could, hoping the other boys would look out the window and notice how much fun he was having without them. 

Kreacher came into the garden and watched Regulus for a moment. He had brought him his afternoon tea and two scones. He always enjoyed watching Regulus fly his broom.

Regulus saw him and landed, smiling. He had forgotten to be sullen. "Hi, Kreacher. You want to try?" he asked, holding up the broom. 

The elf eyed the broom a little startled and shook his head. "Oh no. Kreacher could never fly Master Regulus’ broom." He held out the cup and the plate. "Kreacher brought Master Regulus his afternoon tea."

"Thank you, Kreacher, but I think I will take my tea inside."

**o0o0o**

About two hours later, Mrs. Potter came to pick up her son. "Did you boys have fun?" she asked with a wide smile.

"Yeah," grinned James. "We did loads of stuff!" 

"Did you let Regulus play with you as well?"

"We asked," said Sirius. "But he didn't want to, so what were we supposed to do? He just wanted to be on his own and thought our games were stupid."

"Oh, well I'm sure he's just shy," smiled Mrs. Potter. 

"Perhaps," mumbled Sirius and cast a glance in Regulus' direction. He was, as always, standing by the banister watching them.

"Hey, Mum, can't we have Sirius over next time?" asked James eagerly. 

"That would be fine by me but you have to ask Mrs. Black, dear."

"I don't see why they can't be here," said Walburga stiffly. 

"Well, it would be nice with some change, wouldn't it?” said Mrs. Potter. "We would like to see Sirius as well. You don't have to worry, we'll take good care of him."

"And we won't go anywhere, Mum," Sirius smiled and looked as innocent as possible. "We will just stay in the house and play."

"I don't know... Let me think about it." Then Mrs. Black noticed the plastic bags Mrs. Potter was holding. 

"What is that? Why do you have bags of  _plastic_?" she asked, perplexed. 

"Oh, these? I found some wonderful cups and plates in Marks and Spencer."

"Marks and Spencer?"

"Oh, it's a Muggle department store. Very fascinating indeed."

Mrs. Black frowned. That woman had brought Muggle things into  _her_ house? How dared she? "I do not approve of Muggle things in my home," she said, trying to sound as civilized as she could.

"Pardon?" said Mrs. Potter, surprised at first, but then seemed to remember whom she was talking to. It was no secret that the Black family were pure-blood supremacists. 

"I will think about Sirius going to your house," Walburga said quickly as if trying to end the conversation and get Mrs. Potter out the door. "Good day."

As soon as they had left, she turned to Sirius. "You are NOT going to visit those people. If you want to play with James it will have to be here."

"But, Mum -" Sirius started although knew he had already lost the discussion. His mother had seen that the Potters went to Muggle shops.

"MOTHER," corrected Mrs. Black angrily. "Is it this new boy who teaches you common speech like that?"

 “Why can’t I go to the Potters’ house, Mother?”

"Because they mingle with Muggles!" she yelled. "Who knows what kind of artefacts they have in their home? I want you here where I can keep an eye on you and control what you're exposed to! In Slytherin, there are no Mudbloods, thank Merlin. And you stick to your house and keep from mingling with the filth. Half-bloods can be tolerated if they're not Muggle lovers, but you stay away from Mudbloods and Gryffindors!"

"Who says I’m going to Slytherin?" Sirius spat. "The hat decides where I belong."

Regulus could hear in the tone of both his mother and brother that a full-blown screaming match was just around the corner, so he quickly retreated to his room. 

"Of course you're going to Slytherin!" yelled Mrs. Black, her eyes on fire. "You're a Black! It's our house!"

"Someone has to be the first to go to a different house!" screamed Sirius and stomped his foot. "You can't tell me what house I’ll be in!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 – “You’re not Wanted”**

It was September 1 and the Hogwarts Express was leaving in fifteen minutes. Regulus had generously been allowed to come to King’s Cross to say good-bye. 

Sirius' eyes were darting around the train station as they made their way towards platform 9 and 3/4. It was full of Muggles there, and neither he nor Regulus had seen any close up before. They had taken the floo to a wizard pub right next to the station, but they couldn't avoid Muggles completely since they had to go through the station. For that reason Walburga had said no to Regulus, but Orion had, for once, objected and said that the boy would have to try it soon anyway so it might as well be now. 

Sirius wanted to run up to the first Muggle he saw and ask them questions about their lifestyle but his father kept a hand on his shoulder to keep him in place.

They made their way to the pillar between 9 and 10 and stopped. Orion pushed Sirius forward. "Go through there," he ordered and Sirius eyed him a little sceptically. "How do you mean?"

"You run though. It’s a portal. Now go!"

Sirius took a deep breath, watching the pillar. Then he walked fast towards it and went right through the bricks, ending up on the other side and spotting the great _Hogwarts express_.

Mr. Black went next and then Mrs. Black with a tight hold on Regulus' shoulder. 

Sirius’ jaw dropped as he looked around at all the other children standing with their parents. "This is wicked," he mumbled and sent his brother a smile. The only thing he hated about going to Hogwarts was that Regulus would be left home alone with their parents. 

"Now remember to send an owl as soon as you’re sorted into Slytherin," Mrs. Black said.

Sirius just nodded. He wasn’t going to argue with her. Not today.

Regulus looked around as well but wasn't excited as Sirius. He had an ice-cold knot in his stomach. Sirius was leaving him, and his only friend left would be Kreacher. He liked Kreacher very much, but he could never take Sirius' place.

"Hey! Sirius!" sounded an excited voice and next James came bouncing up to them. 

Sirius beamed and hugged his friend. "Fancy meeting you here," he joked and they both laughed.

When it was time to leave, Sirius turned to Regulus and ruffled his hair. "Send me an owl from time to time and let me know how things are, yeah?"

Regulus nodded, wishing their parents and the Potters would go away so he could have Sirius on his own just for a minute. "You too..." was all he dared say for fear of crying. 

"I will," Sirius smiled and gave him a hug before hurrying onto the train. He waved but only meant it for Regulus. He didn’t care enough to wave at his parents.

**o0o0o**

Regulus kept his composure until they got home where he went down to the kitchen to find Kreacher. Then he could no longer hold back and broke down sobbing.

Kreacher looked puzzled and stopped what he was doing. "Why is Master Regulus crying?"

"S-Sirius has left. Now I'm all a-alone," sobbed the ten-year-old.

"Kreacher is here. And Master and Mistress as well. Young Master is never alone. Don’t be sad, Master Regulus. Kreacher is sure Master Sirius would not want that."

"Yes," sniffled Regulus. "You're here. Mother and Father are different. They're not friends like Sirius and you..."

"But Kreacher will always be here, Young Master. Kreacher is not leaving and Master Regulus gets to go to Hogwarts soon too and then he will find nice friends and make the family proud."

**o0o0o**

The next morning all hell broke loose. Regulus woke to the sound of yelling and screaming from downstairs. He didn't dare go down to see what was happening because when his mother was in that mood she was dangerous to be around. Instead he called for Kreacher. The elf appeared with a pop, looking very disgruntled. 

"Yes, Master Regulus?"

"What's wrong? Why is she screaming like that?"

Kreacher frowned. “An owl arrived from Master Sirius saying he is put in Gryffindor.”

" _What_?" Regulus gasped, feeling the blood drain from his face. "Wh... How? How could that happen? The whole family... always..."

"Kreacher knows not. Kreacher thinks Master Sirius told the hat to put him into that bad house so Master Sirius would dishonour his family. Of course that is just Kreacher’s theory."

Regulus felt a giant lump form in his throat. Kreacher could very well be right. It sounded just like something Sirius would do. It meant that they would go to different houses. How could his brother do that? Didn't Regulus mean more to him? To his irritation he felt tears well up in his eyes. 

Kreacher pulled out a handkerchief and handed it to Regulus. "There, there, Young Master. No need to cry over _him_. He is not worth tears. Kreacher thinks that Master Regulus will do much better than Master Sirius in stupid Gryffindor. Yes, yes, indeed. Stupid Sirius upset Master Regulus. Kreacher does not approve."

**o0o0o**

Although Sirius had promised to write Regulus often, he only kept his promise for the first month. Then the letters became rarer and rarer, and in them Sirius mostly rambled on about his new friends and how brilliant they were. James this and Remus and Peter that... Sirius said that he would like them. Regulus was pretty sure that he would like Sirius' two new friends no better than he liked James. 

Holliday came and Sirius came home. To no one’s surprise he and his mother went at each other’s throats the second Sirius stepped over the threshold. He, however, managed to get permission to get a visit from his new friends. Of course he knew very well it was only because his mother wanted to see first-hand what kind of filth he hung around.

Regulus had given Sirius the cold shoulder the first day just to show him that he was angry about what he had done. But after that he could no longer keep it up, he was that happy to see him, and he was also curious about Hogwarts and liked hearing Sirius tell about it. Not so much the Gryffindor stuff, but all the rest. 

"You’re going to love it there and I can’t wait for you to see it," Sirius said, leaning back against the bedframe. "Blimey, I love it there. Nice to get away from this house."

Regulus sighed. Truth be told he couldn't wait to go either, even though they would be in separate houses. "It's not a lot of fun here all alone, you know," said Regulus.

"I know..." Sirius sighed. "I wish you could go now. I hate that I had to leave you here alone with Mother. She isn’t right in the head. And you will see that when you come to Hogwarts."

"She's... Don't talk that way about Mother. She just has a bit of a temper, but she is a good Mother. She has the right to be strict with her children. Parents do."

"James' parents aren’t strict. Remus' either. They were proud of their sorting. Mother sent me a howler and everyone watches in disbelief."

"Well, James is a spoiled brat. And Remus is half-blood. He doesn't have a name to live up to."

"Don’t talk about my friends like that!" Sirius snapped. "Those are Mother’s words, not yours! Do you think it’s fair I get a howler for something I had no control over?"

"You probably asked the Hat to place you in Gryffindor. And if not, then it's because you've behaved so badly always and been a disrespectful Black!"

Sirius stared at him, his jaw dropped. "I didn’t ask to be placed anywhere! I was sure I would go to Slytherin. And how dare you say I’m a disrespectful Black? I am no less of a Black than you! You’re just bleeding jealous because I got friends and you got no one other than that stupid elf!"

"DON'T CALL KREACHER STUPID!" yelled Regulus and jumped to his feet. "HE'S A GOOD FRIEND! BETTER THAN YOU! HE'S LOYAL AND ALWAYS NICE TO ME!"

"I’m also nice to you but you’re just being a spoiled little brat! I always asked if you wanted to join in games and fun but you’re too stuck up to want to join!" Sirius yelled and jumped to his feet as well.

"Spoiled? Do you think it comes cheap? And how do you think your little stunt has affected me? Mother and Father are very strict - more than ever. They lecture me all the time!"

"What stunt?" Sirius growled. "I said I didn’t make the Hat sort me into Gryffindor, but I'm not sorry it did! I made brilliant friends there. "

"Oh, great - I'm so happy for you!" sneered Regulus. "It's true what Kreacher says - you only think of yourself!"

"I told you I felt bad for leaving you here alone! But I’m not allowed to have friends? Am I supposed to be your private play-buddy all your life?"

“Bugger off, Sirius!" growled Regulus through gritted teeth and pointed at the door to the hallway. 

"You know I’m right," Sirius snapped and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

**o0o0o**

They didn't speak more that day, but the next morning they both pretended it hadn't happened.

"Do you want to come fly with me after breakfast?" Regulus asked hopefully at the table. 

Sirius eyed him for a moment. "Sure," he smiled, deciding that their fight had been stupid. "You can show me your new moves."

"Okay," beamed Regulus. "You can throw golf balls into the air and I'll catch them." Regulus had decided long ago that he was going to be a Seeker.

Sirius had never been very interested in Quidditch. He loved watching it, but not so much playing it. It took discipline, precision and hard work and none of those were his strongest points. But he liked flying, especially when Regulus asked him. 

They went into the garden and Sirius carried a few golf balls with him. He watched Regulus mount his broom and fly into the air. "Ready?"

Regulus nodded eagerly, excited to see Sirius' reaction to how good he had become. Since summer he had trained harder than ever, because with Sirius away it was one of the only fun things there was to do.  

"Here it comes!" Sirius shouted and threw the ball high into the air, exited to see if Regulus could catch it.

Regulus caught both that and every single ball after. They went on for half an hour and then Regulus landed next to Sirius, red-cheeked and wind-blown hair. "Do you think I can make the team at Hogwarts?"

"Are you kidding? They would be bloody barking not to let you on the team," Sirius grinned. He placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. "You’re brilliant."

"Yeah?" beamed Regulus. "Does Slytherin have a good Seeker now or do you think I could beat him? Or is he going to be done with school when I get there?”

"I think their Seeker is pretty good but I don’t know when he’s done with school. But you have years to make the team. First years never make it, anyway."

They played the rest of the day but in the evening they started bickering again. This went on for the next week, being friends one moment and fighting the next. 

Their mother rarely broke them up or commented on it. She seemed perfectly happy that they weren't getting along and that they were drifting more and more apart. It made it easier to shape Regulus into a good Black. 

**o0o0o**

Finally the day came where Sirius' friends came to visit. Remus was the first to arrive, and Sirius greeted him with a hug.

Mrs. Black came into the hallway. She gave Remus a onceover, not at all looking impressed by his appearance. Sirius had assured her that neither of Remus’ parents were Muggleborn, and that was the only reason she had agreed on letting him visit.

"What is your last name?" she asked.

"Lupin, ma’am," Remus said, eying the woman in front of him a little nervously. Her expression was something he was used to. The condemning look as if he was no good because of his hand down robes that were patched up here and there. He knew the Blacks were very wealthy.

"And what are your parents' blood status, if I may ask?" she continued. 

"My... my parents are half-bloods," Remus said. He hated being questioned as if it was some sort of trial, and he hated to lie, but Sirius had told him not to say that his mother was a Muggle.

"Mother, I already told you all this," Sirius sighed, putting an arm around Remus.

"Your words have on occasion been known to be less than truthful," said Mrs. Black coldly. 

Peter came five minutes later and got the same treatment as Remus. When James arrived, she said, "Now, you boys behave yourselves and do not disturb the rest of the house. Stay upstairs or in the garden and stay out of the forbidden rooms, Sirius."

"Yes, Mother," Sirius said and rolled his eyes before they headed upstairs.  

"Is… is your mother always like this?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah. She doesn’t like Muggles so she was just making sure that you weren’t Muggleborn."

"All the Blacks are pure-blood supremacists," said James. "Except Sirius, of course."

Regulus had studied the group from afar. They didn't get many visitors who weren't family or other rich pure-bloods. Regulus wasn't even sure he had ever seen a half-blood in the house before, except maybe some of his father's business relations. So he was very curious, he couldn't deny that. Especially the boy in the shabby clothes. He must be poor. Of course Regulus had seen poor wizards in Diagon Alley, but he had never spoken to any. He decided that he could go introduce himself without losing his pride, so he went up the stairs and into his brother's room. "I believe you have forgotten to introduce me to your friends," he said in a dignified voice.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. He and Regulus had had quite the falling out the evening before about Sirius’ friends coming to visit, and judging from Regulus’ attitude he still thought of himself as the better Black.

"This is my brother, Regulus," said Sirius quickly and when Remus wanted to shake his hand, Sirius stepped in between them. "Don’t you have an elf to hang out with?"

"Sirius!" Remus said in disbelief. "Why can’t he hang out with us if he wants to?"

"He doesn’t want to," Sirius said.

Remus offered Regulus his hand anyway. "Hello, I’m Remus. Nice to meet you, Regulus."

Regulus shook his hand and nodded. Then he said hello to Peter and sat down as if he had been invited to. 

Sirius clenched his teeth and watched his brother closely for a moment. One insulting word and Sirius would toss him out on his ear.

"So you’re going to Hogwarts soon?" Remus asked, sitting down.

"Yes, next year. I suppose I'm looking forward to it. Sirius seems to like it."

"It’s brilliant," Remus smiled. "Any specific house you hope to be placed in?"

"It isn't a question of hoping," snorted Regulus. "I'll be in Slytherin like the rest of my family. Except Sirius, of course. I don't know what went wrong there."

"Nothing went wrong!" Sirius barked. "I was placed where I clearly belong!”

"What are you doing in here, anyway?" James asked Regulus. "You usually don't want to be around when I'm here."

"Oh, I'm sorry,” said Regulus. “You can just tell me straight out if I'm not wanted."

"You’re not wanted," Sirius hissed, feeling himself flush with anger. He was quite sure Regulus’ attitude would soon result in him insulting one of Sirius’ friends. Most likely Remus, because of his appearance. "You don’t usually want to hang around my friends, and all you have said until now has been in a sarcastic tone!"

"Is your rude one any better?" asked Regulus, jutting out his jaw. 

"This is my room! Mine!” growled Sirius, his hands clenched into fists. “You can’t be in here right now, so get out! We are going to talk hexes and charms!”

Regulus got up and retreated to the door. He could tell that Sirius was inches from blowing up in his face and he wasn't keen on that. 

"Well, nice meeting you, Regulus," Remus said as the door closed. "Was… was that really necessary?" he asked Sirius who had sat back down, his face still red.

"Yes, it was. He can be a real pain in the bum and he thinks he is better than all of you."

"It’s true, Remus," said James, backing Sirius up. "He's a bit of a weirdo. Always skulking around."

"Maybe he’s just lonely here in this big house with just your parents. You said you never got to leave the house, Sirius," Remus reasoned. "He probably just wanted to talk to us and hear about Hogwarts."

"He wanted to meddle or spy for my mother," Sirius said and crossed his arms.

"L-let's just talk about those hexes, shan't we?" piped up Peter. He never liked when there were disagreements within the group. 

The others agreed. James had found an interesting book in his parents’ library and they studied it for a while, finding a few interesting jinxes they decided to try.

"A-are you sure we won't get in trouble with the Ministry for doing magic?" asked Peter. 

"No, we told you - Sirius' dad has put up wards so what goes on in the house is untraceable," said James eagerly. "It's wicked. I wish my dad would do that, but he insists we follow the law."

"Enough reading, already,” said Sirius a moment later. “More doing. Now that I think about it maybe we should call Regulus back in here so we have someone to practice on."

"Sirius!" Remus gasped. 

"Okay, fine. Kreacher then."

"That nasty house elf?" asked Peter.

Remus opened his mouth to protest but James cut him off. "Really, Remus, that elf is a menace. He's nice to those that he likes, but nasty to the rest of us."

"I...” started Remus but then closed his mouth. He didn’t like this at all, but he was always a little afraid that if he protested too much his friends would stop liking him.

"It's settled then," Sirius smirked. "We call the elf.”

That, however, ended as Remus had feared with Kreacher getting slightly hurt and puffy ears from a hex gone wrong. The elf left the room, limping down the hallway, muttering curses mixed with Sirius' and James’ names all the way.

Regulus was close to dying from curiosity. He was in his room and could hear sounds coming from Sirius' room. Laughter and once in a while a loud crack from a spell. He wanted to see what they were doing. What kind of magic they were doing.

He went into the hallway and gave a quick knock on Sirius’ door but quickly pushed it open before Sirius got a chance to lock it. "What are you doing?" he asked, sniffing the air, which had a smell like smoky grass. 

"Just practicing hexes," said Sirius and went over to close the door in Regulus face.

Regulus put his foot inside just before Sirius managed to close it all the way. "Careful you don't disturb Mother with all the noise..."

"There will be one more loud noise if you don’t move your foot," hissed Sirius, sending his brother a death glare.

Regulus looked back at him, but seeing the fury in his eyes he decided to remove his foot and the door slammed shut in his face. 

Remus swallowed a lump as Sirius went to sit down again. He felt sorry for Regulus. To him it seemed that all Regulus wanted was to join in on the fun, but Sirius was not letting that happen. Remus couldn’t really see why. He thought that Regulus had seemed all right. A little sarcastic maybe, but all right.

**o0o0o**

Regulus sighed and trudged back to his room where he pulled out quill and parchment. He had an English essay for Wednesday that he might as well get over with. He found it hard to concentrate, however. His ears were tuned on sounds from Sirius' room. Had it just been James visiting it wouldn't have been so interesting, but the new boys were. They were half-bloods and different. Regulus was especially fascinated by Remus. He had never met anyone like him. The way he was dressed and the way he looked. The way he had talked to Regulus. He radiated kindness, Regulus decided. His face was... He looked kinder than anyone Regulus had ever met. Even his uncle Alphard. 

A few minutes later Regulus got an idea. He went down to the kitchen and made tea. Kreacher wasn’t there, so he did it himself. He piled some biscuits on a tray along with a teapot and cups and went upstairs.

Sirius opened the door. "What do you want _now_?" he growled and spotted the tray in Regulus’ hands. "You brought us food? Why didn’t you just get your precious elf to do it?”

"It wasn't my idea. Mother sent me up with it," said Regulus, not wanting to appear like a suck-up. 

Sirius found that hard to believe. Firstly, that his mother would bother having snacks sent up for them, and secondly, that she would use Regulus as an errand boy. But biscuits were biscuits, so Sirius took the tray.

Regulus walked in before Sirius got a chance to close the door. 

Sirius mumbled a few curse words and went over to put the tray down beside Remus. "I see you brought yourself a cup as well so you had intentions of inviting yourself inside," he mumbled and took a cup.

"Well, I expected you to be so courteous to invite me, since I am your brother."

"I’ve told you several times that I didn’t want you in here if you can’t behave, and knowing you like I do I find it highly unlikely," Sirius said but decided to give Regulus this one chance.

Peter sat studying Regulus while they had their tea, and suddenly he blurted out, "Blimey, you look just like a miniature Sirius. But you're tiny! Are you really ten years old?"

Regulus' eyes turned dark like a storm cloud. He had always been very small for his age and he had always hated it. He wanted to be big and strong like Sirius. "Well, you're not too tall yourself!" he snarled. "And you're fat! Did you eat a whole pig or something? Or your mother? I bet she's fat too!"

"Regulus!" barked Sirius, flying up from his seat, grabbing his younger brother by the arm and pulling him towards the door. "I told you to behave! Don’t freaking insult my friends!" he hissed and pushed Regulus roughly into the hallway.

"But it's true! And he started -" 

SLAM, sounded the door. 

"Blimey, mate," said James, looking at Peter. "You really hit a sore spot!"

"Well, in all fairness," Remus said quietly, "it's not a nice thing to comment on someone’s appearance like that... maybe he’s sad that he’s so small."

"I didn't mean any harm," said Peter. "But he did! He said I had eaten my mother!"

**o0o0o**

Angrily, Regulus marched down to the kitchen where he hoped to find Kreacher. At least he was pleasant company. Kreacher was there scrubbing potatoes. He looked up and smiled widely when he saw Regulus. 

"Hi," said Regulus. "Sirius and his friends are stupid. The fat one called me tiny and didn't believe I was ten!"

Kreacher looked slightly puzzled. "But Master Regulus _is_ ten? Young Master should not socialise with them if they upset him."

"He's a half-blood," said Regulus and sat down at the kitchen table. "Maybe that's why he has no manners."

"That could be," Kreacher nodded. "Half-bloods are foul indeed. Near as bad as Mudbloods."

"They can’t be quite that bad,” argued Regulus. “There are half-bloods in Slytherin, and Mother allows them into our home. She would never do that with Mudbloods or Muggles.” Regulus sighed, resting his chin on his hands. “What do you think, Kreacher - who are worst, Mudbloods or Muggles?"

Kreacher shivered. "Kreacher thinks Mudbloods, because they try to be like masters and mistresses and become wizards. Mudbloods have no business at Hogwarts!"

Regulus nodded thoughtful. "Yes, you could say that Muggles can't really help being what they are. They just live the way they do because they don't have a choice... right?"

"Kreacher nodded. “But Kreacher will never understand the Muggle ways and why anyone is interested in Muggles. Muggles are filthy and they produce nasty Mudbloods. Filth, Kreacher says. Filth."

Regulus suddenly noticed Kreacher limping when he went the sink to wash his hands. Studying him more closely he also noted that his ears were slightly discoloured. 

"What happened to you? Your limp? Your ears?"

"Master Sirius and his nasty friends did hexes on Kreacher to study for school. Kreacher had to just obey and do as Kreacher was told."

" _What_?" gasped Regulus. It wasn't the first time Sirius had played pranks on Kreacher, of course, and Regulus had always been opposed to it, but this made him madder than ever. It was very rare that he lost his temper the way Sirius and their mother did, but he was already cross with his brother and this just set him off.

He stormed up the stairs while yelling, "SIRIUS!"

As he reached the landing Sirius hurried into the hallway, closing the door behind him to prevent Regulus from getting too close. He obviously didn't want his friend to witness any more trouble. 

"DID YOU HEX KREACHER?" Regulus screamed, his cheeks burning with rage. 

Sirius blinked a few times. "Yeah. He didn't mind," he said and crossed his arms, acting cool.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" shouted Regulus into Sirius' face. "You know he has to do what we say!"

"It wasn't that bad. We had homework and he helped us with it. Simple as that."

"HE'S LIMPING AND HIS EARS ARE PURPLE! Is this your idea of fun in Gryffindor? To be cruel to those who can't defend themselves?"

**o0o0o**

Regulus' screaming was loud enough for the three other Marauders to hear. They all exchanges looks. 

"Bloody hell," said Peter. "He obviously has Sirius' temper. To think that such a little boy can scream so loud!"

"Well, in all fairness it wasn't a very nice thing you did to that house elf," Remus mumbled, feeling guilty. He had not taken part in practicing on Kreacher but he had not done anything to prevent it either.

**o0o0o**

"He will be fine again tomorrow," Sirius snapped, eying his brother.

"You're an idiot!" spat Regulus and decided he had said what there was to say. He turned on his heel and marched downstairs.

At the bottom of the stairs stood his mother with a frown on her face. "What is going on here?" she said, looking irritated. "What is all this yelling about?"

"N-nothing. Just that Sirius won't let me play with them. But I don't want to play with Gryffindor scum anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter..."

His mother smiled and nodded. "There’s a good boy. Run along now and do your homework."

**o0o0o**

The brothers didn't speak a word to each other the next two days. But then came Christmas Day and they forgot their disagreements. They played in the parlour around the Christmas tree as they always did. There were tiny fairies flying around peppering magic dust on the tree and Christmas decoration. They flew teasingly around the boys, who made a game out of seeing who could catch the most.

"6 - 4 to me," grinned Regulus when he caught his sixth fairy.

"Well, you’re cheating," grinned Sirius. "You’re training for Seeker so you’re used to catching small fast things." He let go of his fairy and sat down, looking up at the beautiful tree.

Kreacher came in with some tea. He poured a cup for Regulus and then left again, pretending Sirius wasn’t there.

Regulus called him back. 

"Yes, Master Regulus?" croaked the elf in his bullfrog voice. 

"Could you give Sirius some tea? It's Christmas, so you can be nice to him for once, can't you?"

There was a flicker of resentment on Kreacher’s face but then he nodded and went over to pour a cup for Sirius.

"Thank you," Sirius said and Kreacher gawked at him, almost dropping the teapot. "Hey, I can be nice too," snapped Sirius. "It’s Christmas and I’m in a good mood, okay?"

"See?" smiled Regulus. "You two can get along if you want to."

"Well, I don’t want to," mumbled Sirius and sipped his tea. Kreacher seemed to agree with him on that and left for the kitchen again.

After dinner the boys were sent to bed but Sirius wasn’t tired at all so he sat with his books and tried to read up on a few spells. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to learn ahead. Less homework at Hogwarts and more time with his friends.

Regulus couldn't sleep either. The next morning was Christmas Morning and there were always loads of presents. The Blacks wanted their sons to have the best quality and not be short of anything. He turned over in his bed for the hundredth time and then decided to get up and tiptoe into Sirius' room to see if he was also awake. 

Sirius, however, had fallen asleep and lay flat on his stomach with his head turned to the side and his mouth wide open. The book lay open next to him as if he had only just let it go before he had fallen asleep.

Regulus quietly picked the book up and put it on the table. He stood for a while, contemplating his brother, not sure if he should do it or not, but then crawled into bed and drew the covers up over them. At ten he was really getting too old to sleep in his brother's bed, but he had missed him so much and the way things used to be before Hogwarts. 

A few hours passed and Sirius opened his eyes to find his brother sleeping next to him. He was a little puzzled at first but couldn’t help but smile. He shook his shoulder gently. "Reggie? It’s Christmas Morning. There’s presents downstairs." 

"Huh?" mumbled Regulus, blinking a few times to wake up. He realised he had slept in Sirius' bed and got embarrassed. "It's not... I just had a bad dream," he lied. "There was a werewolf that wanted to eat me. That's all."

"You and your werewolves," laughed Sirius and ruffled his brother’s hair. He stretched his arms and yawned. "Well, shall we? I can’t wait to see what we got!"

Regulus nodded and they both scrambled out of bed and downstairs. It was still dark outside but the tree was lit and the fairies glowed with their blue light. 

Sirius sat down and found a present that he handed to Regulus. "This one is for you from Uncle Alphard," he smiled and found one for himself as well.

Regulus excitedly tore off the paper. Uncle Alphard always gave great presents. Most of the family members gave them expensive gifts, but Alphard's were usually very thoughtful and personal. "Wow," he gasped ad he opened the little box inside the paper, revealing a Golden Snitch with the Black family crest engraved on it as well as Regulus' initials, R.A.B.

"Wicked!" Sirius said, leaning over to look at Regulus’ Snitch. Then he unwrapped his own present from Alphard. “Mirrors?” he mumbled a little disappointedly as he eyed the two small mirrors in his hands. “What’s so special about them?”

Regulus took one of the mirrors and looked in it. Then his mouth fell open. “They aren’t mirrors! I see your reflection instead of mine!”

Sirius looked closer into the mirror he was sitting with. “Wicked! I see you! Hey, Reggie, go outside and close the door and see if they still work!”

The mirrors worked fine no matter where in the house Regulus went. They could both see and talk to each other through the mirrors.

“What are you going to do with them?” asked Regulus when he came back in, a little out of breath from having run down from the attic. “Leave one with me?”

“Perhaps. Or bring both to Hogwarts. They have great prank potential.” When Regulus looked disappointed, Sirius quickly said, “I don’t know, Reggie. I’ll think about it later.”

Sirius didn’t get half as many presents as Regulus, since many of the family members obviously thought the lack of Christmas presents was a fitting punishment for getting sorted into Gryffindor. It didn’t bother Sirius too much. Alphard’s gift was better than any present his snobbish aunts or cousins might have gotten him.

When the brothers were done opening presents they asked Kreacher to bring some breakfast (consisting of Christmas pudding and sweets) to eat on the floor in front of the fireplace. It was only six o’clock, so their parents weren't up yet to tell them that only animals ate off the floor. 

"I sure missed this," Sirius said, leaning back on his palms and looking into the fire. "How come we don't talk so much anymore? We usually just fight about stupid things now.” He sent his brother a smile and took another sweet. "It's going to be great having you at Hogwarts. I can show you everything worth seeing and doing there.”

Regulus sighed. “I won’t be going for a long while.”

“Time will pass fast. Soon I'll be home again and you will go with me after the summer."

"It won't be soon…” mumbled Regulus. The last four months had been the longest in Regulus' life. Besides missing Sirius, their parents had become much stricter with Regulus, lecturing him constantly and punishing him for every little mistake he made. But he didn't tell Sirius. He would just get mad and start a war with their parents and that would only make things worse. Also, he didn't want Sirius' pity. He could handle things himself. He was a Black, after all.

Kreacher came back to ask if they wanted anything else and Regulus fished out a gift for him. He always gave Kreacher a present and the elf was always reduced to grateful tears.

"Oh, ," Kreacher said with a lump in his throat as he took the present. "Thank you, Master Regulus, Kreacher is very happy!"

"Did you get him clothes?" snickered Sirius. 

Regulus grinned back. "Don't even joke about that in front of him. It wouldn't work anyway because I'm not his real Master. Mother and Father are. I bet his boggart is Mother giving him a pair of trousers. "

"What did you get him then?" Sirius asked and looked past Regulus to watch the elf unwrap his present.

Inside was a nice fluffy pillow with the family crest on it. Kreacher preferred sleeping in a kitchen closet on a pile of rags, but Regulus thought he might appreciate a soft pillow. 

The elf sobbed as he hugged the pillow and looked up at Regulus with huge teary eyes. "T-thank you, Master Regulus. Kreacher is so happy. Kreacher has not gotten such a wonderful gift ever."

"You're welcome," smiled Regulus and patted Kreacher on the head. "You work so hard for us, you deserve a present once in a while."

"Kreacher is honoured, Master Regulus," said the elf, smiling through tears. 

Sirius decided not to comment on any of it. He thought it was weird to give the elf a gift but then again Regulus and Kreacher had a weird relationship.

**o0o0o**

The brothers held their peace most of the rest of the holiday, and way too soon it was time for Sirius to go back to school.

Sirius gave his brother a hug and ruffled his hair. "I will see you when summer comes. Practice flying and you will definitely make the team. No doubt about it."

Regulus hugged him back and kept a straight face until Mr. Black had left with him and Regulus could excuse himself. Not until he reached his room he started sobbing. It had been years since he had learned not to cry in front of his parents. There was no sympathy or comfort to expect there. Crying was a sign of weakness and something only little boys did. 

**o0o0o**

Sirius sat on the train looking out the window quietly. Remus watched him, a little worried. "I thought you were happy about going back?"

"I just hate to leave my brother there all alone. I'm afraid of what they are turning him into."

Peter raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Sirius sighed. "We didn’t use to fight like this but they fill his head with all sorts of things, like Slytherin is the only right house and all sorts of bollocks about Muggles and Muggle-borns."

"Well,” said James. “They've always tried to do the same with you, haven't they? It never had any effect. Quite the opposite, in fact."

"Yes, but he seems to succumb to it. I’ve always had a stronger will than him."

"Then it will be good for him to get out of the house and come to Hogwarts," Remus pointed out, “so he can get some new experiences and some independence."

"Well, in Slytherin he will be fed the same load of garbage about pure-blood supremacy," said James. "And you know he's right when he says he'll be sorted into Slytherin. He's got the right qualities."

**o0o0o**

When Sirius came home half a year later, he found a changed Regulus. He was much colder and would not confide in Sirius at all. They got along okay some of the time, but mostly they fought and bickered when they were in the same room. Regulus kept to himself mostly and even when Sirius had his friends over, he did not curiously try to get near them. He seemed totally indifferent and only responded with a nod when Remus said hello. James he pretended wasn't there at all and Peter he sent a sneer, looking him up and down disapprovingly. 

"Your brother has changed," Remus commented as they sat down in Sirius' room.

"Yes. I feel like I don't know him anymore. We fight all the time now and when we don’t, we just ignore each other." Sirius tried to act as though it didn't bother him but his mind kept going back to the days when they would run around and have fun and Regulus would climb into his bed when he was scared. Now he was just cold and distant.

Sirius' friends stayed a whole week and had a blast. They ate mostly out in the garden (when the weather was good) or in one of the other dining rooms. Mrs. Black did not want to share table with half-blood Gryffindors. It was enough that she allowed them to stay over at all. Regulus seemed to be of the same opinion.

  


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 – “** **Welcome to Hogwarts”**

Finally, the day came where Regulus had to leave for his first school year. Sirius was very excited to go back. This summer had been much too long and not having Regulus to talk to as he used to, he didn't feel home at all.

Regulus said goodbye to Kreacher in private before they left. He was the only thing he was truly going to miss. "I'll... I'll see you at Christmas," he said, his throat thick. 

The elf nodded. "Master Regulus have a good half year at Hogwarts and make lots of new friends."

Regulus hugged the little elf tightly and couldn't hold the tears back. "I'm going to miss you…” he sobbed. 

Kreacher gently patted the boy’s back and sniffed a couple of times before croaking, "Kreacher will miss Young Master also, but Kreacher knows he will be happy and successful at Hogwarts."

Regulus took a moment to compose himself and dry his eyes before going back up to the entrance hall where the others were waiting for him. He caught Sirius looking at him, clearly noticing his red eyes, and Regulus sent him a glare, warning him not to say anything.

Sirius just shook his head as he picked up his rucksack and went to the door.

**o0o0o**

Regulus stayed close to his parents as they entered King’s Cross Station. At Platform 9 3/4 he stood a little by himself, clutching the cage with his handsome hawk owl, Lyra, close to his body as if it were some kind of shield. 

When the four Marauders had finished greeting and hugging, Remus noticed the small boy clutching the owl cage and sent him a friendly smile. "Hello, Regulus.”

Regulus swallowed and gave Remus a quick nod without meeting his eyes. He didn't want any Slytherins to notice and think he was friends with Gryffindors.

Regulus said good-bye to his parents and boarded the train. He walked through several coaches, not knowing where to sit and with whom to sit. He was very nervous and uncomfortable. He had never socialized much with other children except for Sirius and occasionally his cousins (although they barely counted since they were so much older than him), and he was reserved, not at all the social "look at me" type Sirius was. He wished he could turn invisible. He ended up finding an empty compartment where he sat down by the window, placing Lyra's cage on the seat next to him so no one would sit there. He hoped that whoever might come and sit in the same compartment wouldn't be somebody horrible. 

**o0o0o**

They arrived at Hogsmeade around dusk and everyone got off. Remus had suggested to Sirius that he ask his brother to join them since he had seen him sit all alone, but Sirius had just waved him off and said that Regulus thought he was better than them and wouldn’t socialize with them anyway. Remus spotted Regulus get off the train and sent him a smile as he caught his eye, but the boy quickly looked away and followed the other first years over to Hagrid.

Like most of the other first years, Regulus couldn't help but ogle the huge man. He had never seen someone even remotely as big, and Regulus felt like a baby elf next to him. He wrapped his cloak tightly around himself as they crossed the rather upset lake. The wind was harsh and it was very cold for a summer evening. The huge, magnificent castle cast light over the lake’s dark surface. Regulus was excited to get inside and see how everything looked. Not to talk about the grounds in the morning. And the Quidditch pitch. 

When they reached the shore they were lead inside through solid oak gates and were met by an elderly, strict looking lady with her dark grey hair in a tight bun. She eyed them for a moment until they all went quiet.

"Welcome to Hogwarts," she started. "I am Professor McGonagall. In a few moments I will lead you through these doors and you will all be sorted into your houses and thereafter join your new housemates at their table. As you probably know, there are four houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin. The Sorting Hat will tell you where you belong. Now form a line and follow me."

Everybody in the hall turned to see the new students. Regulus felt like everybody was staring at him, although he knew that was probably not true. They would be, however, when he was put on the chair to get the Hat on.

"Regulus Black!"

Sirius sat straight up and looked over at his brother who stiffened by the mentioning of his name.  "Now he gets his precious Slytherin," he mumbled to James.

Regulus went over and sat on the stool. He was so small that his legs were dangling inches from the floor. He cast a glance at the Slytherin table where the students were looking expectantly at him, and Narcissa, now a seventh year and Head Girl, smiled and waved at him. The Hat was placed on his head and was quiet for a very long time. 

"What's it waiting for?" mumbled James. "How hard can it be?”

“Maybe it's considering Ravenclaw,” suggested Remus. “He's quite smart, isn't he?"

"He is," Sirius nodded. "And a right swot.”

Everyone watched impatiently as the Hat mumbled to itself. 

"Gryffindor!" It finally shouted and Sirius' jaw nearly hit the table.

The Hall went dead silent and Regulus sat as petrified. What had the Hat said? Gryffindor? That couldn't be right! When he showed no intention of leaving the stool, professor McGonagall said, "Mr. Black - go on now. Move to your new table.”

"But... But... There's been a mistake!" he said in a lowered voice so the whole hall didn’t hear him. "The Hat... it's made a mistake! I'm going to Slytherin!"

"No, you're going to Gryffindor. The Hat is never wrong. Now please move down to your table, Mr. Black."

Regulus didn't move for a few more seconds but then the imperative look on the professor's face made him get up and slowly head towards the Gryffindor table. The silence was finally broken as his new housemates erupted in cheers and applause. 

Sirius smiled and moved aside so Regulus could sit down. Although the two had not exactly been on friendly terms the whole summer, Sirius was glad to have his brother in Gryffindor. Maybe this would get him off his high horse and bring back the old Regulus, and even better – knock some of the pure-blood nonsense out of his head.

Regulus hesitated but realised that the other students would find it strange if he didn't sit next to his brother, so he did. He barely registered Sirius giving him a hug. The others sitting near them were friendly and interested in Regulus. 

"So, I guess things have taken a turn for your family," said the girl sitting opposite him. "First Sirius and now you.”

Regulus didn't say anything. He was still in shock. 

"Did you see the Slytherins' faces?" laughed a boy a little further down the table. "Priceless! They were sure they were getting him!"

Remus thought he would welcome his new housemate and make him feel welcome so he leaned over the table and sent him a smile. "Welcome, Regulus."

When there was no reaction Remus sat back and bit his lip. He felt a little sorry for the small boy who seemed so alone and misplaced even though his brother was sitting right next to him.

“I’m proud of you Reggie,” said Sirius a little later and wrapped an arm around Regulus’ shoulder.

“I don’t want you to be proud of me!” snarled Regulus and pushed his brother away roughly. “I’m not like you! I don’t belong in this stupid house and I don’t need you!”

Sirius gaped at him for a second and then narrowed his eyes. “Fine. Suit yourself, you little drama queen.”

As soon as they were excused, Regulus hurried over to the teachers' table where he found Professor McGonagall. He pleaded with her again. To let him switch to Slytherin. To let him try the Hat again. That there had been a mistake. 

"I’m sorry, Mr. Black but that is out of the question. The Hat has sorted you into Gryffindor and that is final."

Narcissa came stalking over at that moment with Professor Slughorn, Head of Slytherin, in tow. She was very upset and started arguing with McGonagall. 

"Miss Black," McGonagall said. "There is nothing that can be done. Young Mr. Black is from now and until he graduates, a Gryffindor."

"Professor Slughorn!" Narcissa said, desperately turning to her Head of House. "You must be able to do something! It is obvious that Regulus belongs in Slytherin. Sirius is an exception - he has always hated our family and values, but Regulus is a good, loyal Black!"

"Now, Miss Black," said Slughorn, obviously very uncomfortable. "You heard Professor McGonagall, and she should know - she is the Deputy Headmistress, after all. The Hat must have seen some hidden qualities in your cousin."

"It's my name!" said Regulus suddenly. "It must be my name! Because Regulus is the star in the heart of Leo. But it's just a name! It doesn't mean -"

"I will hear no more of this nonsense from any of you,” said McGonagall with finality. “You’re in Gryffindor now, so I suggest you make the best of it.”

Feeling himself on the verge of tears Regulus stalked off, not wanting to cry in front of anybody. He hurried into a bathroom and locked himself in a stall, sat down on the seat and started crying. What was his parents going to do? They had blamed Sirius when he was sorted. Would they also blame him? Of course they would. That wasn’t even a question.

Remus had seen Regulus go into the bathroom and when Sirius just walked off with James he felt a little sorry for Regulus. Why didn’t Sirius have a talk with his brother, who was clearly very upset? Remus decided to stay behind as the prefects gathered the students and showed them to the dormitories. Regulus would get lost on his own in this huge castle.

Regulus sat there for a good while until he had stopped crying and collected himself. Then he went out of the bathroom and stopped dead in his tracks when he nearly walked into Remus.

"Hello," said Remus, smiling kindly. "I wanted to show you to the common room. And you will need a password to get in."

Regulus' first impulse was to get away from Remus, but then he realised he was right: Regulus had no idea where to find Gryffindor or how to get in. "Um... Well, alright," he mumbled.

Remus sent him another smile and led him to the staircase. "You have to watch these. They tend to change."

Regulus didn't say anything. He was too busy thinking about his new desperate situation. That was until he suddenly stepped onto a step that wasn't there and fell in to his hip.

Remus looked at him in shock and grabbed his hand to pull him up. Regulus weighed very little but he was stuck rather firmly so Remus had to pull hard at him. When he was finally up again, they stood very close. "Er… you have to watch your step."

Regulus quickly moved away from Remus, feeling very embarrassed. "Well, that's stupid. They should get somebody to fix those bloody steps."

“They should," agreed Remus.

**o0o0o**

The common room looked welcoming and cosy, nothing like any room in Grimmauld Place. It was full of squishy armchairs and a fire was burning merrily in the fireplace. The room was full right now with students of all ages. 

"Hey, look what Remus dragged in," said James, elbowing Sirius in the side. 

Sirius turned his head to see his brother walk in with Remus and then looked back to James. "A lost puppy, it would seem," was all he said. He had tried to be nice to Regulus and he had just snapped at him.

Regulus stopped, hesitating for a minute, and then followed Remus over to the others, not knowing what else to do.

"Hey, Sirius," grinned a stocky boy, eying Regulus. "I didn't know you had a little sister." A couple of the other boys laughed and Regulus felt his face grow hot as he glared at the boy furiously. 

"Someone with an ugly mug like yours shouldn’t comment on others’ appearance, Jacob,” barked Sirius.

“I’m not offending her,” said the boy. “She’s very pretty.”

Sirius called him some names that would have made McGonagall go through the roof. He might be mad at Regulus himself, but that didn’t mean he liked it when others were offending him.

Regulus didn’t want his brother to defend him. He wished he knew a good hex so he could pull out his wand and make this Jacob regret what he had said. He looked around, wondering where he was supposed to live. He didn't want to be in the common room with all these people, many of them eying him with curiosity.

Then a girl with long braids raised her voice. "New girls, gather here! And boys, go to Lawrence," she continued, pointing at a lanky black boy.

Regulus shuffled in the direction of Lawrence but Jacob stopped him. "The girls go with Miranda, didn’t you hear?" he laughed and pointed to the prefect girl. 

Regulus narrowed his eyes and clenched his fists, considering for a second to attack the boy, but then realised it would look stupid because he was twice the size of Regulus. "Shouldn't you be in the troll house? I saw a hut down by the forest. That might be it," he growled instead. 

Sirius snickered and watched Jacob with a satisfied look on his face. At least Regulus was capable of defending himself. 

"Regulus Black?" sounded Lawrence’s voice. "You come with me."

Regulus quickly followed him and the other boys upstairs. He and four others were shown into a round room. He found his luggage standing by one of the beds.

"My owl. Where's my owl?"

"Your owl is in the owlery," said the prefect. "They only come into the dorms when delivering letters."

"But I want her here!" demanded Regulus. "I need some decent company!"

"Then I suggest that you get to know your new dorm mates,” said Lawrence, crossing his arms.

Regulus pressed his lips together but didn't protest. Lawrence was a much older prefect and - unlike Sirius - Regulus had always had respect for authority.

A small, freckled boy sent Regulus an eager smile as he went to sit down on the bed next to him. "Hi!" he beamed. "I’m Nigel, Nigel Hamilton. Nice to meet you! You're Regulus Black, right? I remember you from the sorting. Quite a scene you made! Everyone is still talking about it," he blurted and swung his legs back and forth. He was almost as small as Regulus, his feet not reaching the ground when sitting on the bed.

“What's that to you?" snapped Regulus, already disliking the freckled boy. He had an annoyingly happy face and an equally annoying voice. 

Nigel ignored Regulus’ hostile reply. "You have a brother who goes here too don’t you? Me too. My brother’s name is Miles. He says I'm annoying, but I know he doesn’t really mean it and I'm so happy I got sorted into Gryffindor along with him."

"I bet he _does_ mean it and that he's a clever bloke," mumbled Regulus as he started unpacking. Just the thing he needed. An annoying, jabbering neighbour. At least it would be temporary. He was going to move out soon. He had to.

The three remaining boys came into the dorm and introduced themselves as Antonius Shawcross, Wilson Brown and Brandon Johnson. Regulus recognised Brown as a pure-blood name (both he and Sirius had been taught the names of all the still pure wizarding families in the country). The other names he didn't know. They were probably half-bloods or, God forbid, Muggle-born. 

**o0o0o**

The next morning Nigel caught up with Regulus in the hallway heading for their first class. "I didn't see you at breakfast, "he said, hugging his books to his chest as he walked next to Regulus.

"That's because I wasn't there, you pillock," sneered Regulus.

Nigel looked slightly hurt for a moment. "I think you will be happy in Gryffindor even though you don’t act like it."

"No, I won't!" snapped Regulus. "And stop following me!" He sped up and reached the Charms classroom before Nigel could catch up. 

A couple of students turned their heads to watch him as he entered the room. They started whispering to each other and a few girls giggled. Clearly, they had not forgotten the scene at the sorting. Regulus pretended there was nobody else in the room and just sat down and stared up at the blackboard and Professor Flitwick. 

The lesson had not lasted more than ten minutes when there was a knock on the door and a Ravenclaw prefect stuck her head in. "I need Regulus Black for a moment."

"Can’t it wait until after class, Miss Jamison?" asked the tiny professor. 

"No, sir. He is needed in Dumbledore's office."

Everyone turned their heads gawking at Regulus again. "Uh-oh, Black," a thin boy grinned. "Looks like you’re in trouble. Or maybe they will actually move you to Slytherin. As you said - you don’t belong in Gryffindor."

Regulus felt his stomach knot up. What did Dumbledore want? Was he really going to let him move? Or was he maybe going to throw him out? He got up and followed the Ravenclaw out. 

He could hear raised voices before he even reached the Headmaster’s office. His parents. Mrs. Black's shrill voice rang all the way down the corridor.

"I demand that you move my son to Slytherin! That is where he belongs! He is a real Black!" she roared as the Ravenclaw knocked on the door.

When the door opened Mrs. Black stopped her tirade and marched up to her son, grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him so violently that he dropped his bag and his hat fell off. "DID YOU DO SOMETING TO TRICK THE HAT? DID YOU? _DID_ YOU?" She shook him again. 

"N-no!" squeaked Regulus. "I didn't do anything! It's not my fault!"

"Now, now, Mrs. Black. I can assure you that young Regulus did nothing. The Hat simply saw something else in him than you expected," Professor Dumbledore said.

"Do you really believe that a dumb old hat knows more about our son than his own parents?" said Mrs. Black. 

"I certainly did not say so, Mrs. Black," said Dumbledore, peering at her over his half-moon spectacles. "But the Hat has never been wrong and I am not one to doubt it now. I am sure young Regulus has the qualities for Slytherin, but perhaps even more for Gryffindor, as is the case with his brother."

"Regulus is nothing like his brother!" said Mr. Black, hammering a fist into Dumbledore's massive oaken desk. "Regulus has always honoured our traditions and values!"

"And yet he was placed in Gryffindor," said the Headmaster in a calm but resolute voice.

Regulus stood with his head bowed, listening to his parents rant and rave. It wasn't that he disagreed with them, but it was so embarrassing how they yelled at the Headmaster.

"Well, there is nothing that can be done," Dumbledore said. "The decision is final and I believe there has been no mistake."

"This is not over," promised Mr. Black. "We will go home and discuss this. Perhaps consider moving him to Durmstrang! There, at least, they have the right values."

Regulus' head snapped up and before he could stop himself, he blurted, "No! I don't want to go there!" He didn't care about the values. Durmstrang was cold and dark and far away from Britain. Regulus would rather be in Gryffindor than be sent to Durmstrang. 

Both parents' heads snapped around and stared disbelievingly at their son. "We will discuss that later, Regulus," said his father in a forced calm voice. 

When they had left Dumbledore's office, Mr. Black backed Regulus up against the wall. "How dare you embarrass us like that in front of the Headmaster? Showing that kind of disrespect?"

"I - I... I'm s-sorry," stammered Regulus, feeling his heart hammer in his throat. "I didn't think..."

Mr. Black took a quick look around to check that no one was watching, and then backhanded Regulus hard across the cheek. "Maybe this will make sure you remember to think before you speak in the future!"

Regulus held a hand to his burning cheek, struggling desperately to hold the tears back. His mother watched him for a moment. She had the same distant look that she had when she looked at Sirius. A cold gaze as if he meant nothing to her. Without speaking a word she turned on her heel and marched down hallway. 

"Dry your eyes this minute! You’re not a baby," said Mr. Black before he too left, leaving Regulus standing alone. 

There was a sound from behind and Regulus spun around to see Dumbledore standing in the door to his office. He studied the boy for a moment and then stepped aside. "Come in, Regulus," he smiled. 

Regulus stood glued to the spot for a moment but then did as Dumbledore said. He was the Headmaster after all.

Dumbledore closed the door behind him and went over to look at some books for a moment, giving Regulus time to settle. Then he turned to look at him. “Have a lemon drop,” he smiled and placed an open box of the yellow sweets in front of the boy.

To be polite, Regulus took one.

"We all want to please our parents, young Regulus, but what our parents want isn’t always the right path for us. The Hat is an objective evaluator and for reasons that you may not understand right now it saw Gryffindor as the right path for you."

"I... I belong in Slytherin, sir," said Regulus in a quiet voice. "It's my own wish."

"I believe you, but I am sure you will come to find it pleasant in Gryffindor as well." Dumbledore smiled and sat down behind his desk. “I’m confident that your family will come to accept it in time when they see how well you’re doing there.”

Regulus bit his lip. Dumbledore obviously knew nothing about his family if he truly believed that. "May I go now, Professor?"

"You may. And you may come back to talk to me some other time if you feel the need."

Regulus went into the first bathroom he passed to get a look at his face. Damn. There was an unmistakable bruise forming on his left cheekbone and it looked like what it was. He considered skiving off lessons the rest of the day but realised that would just get him into more trouble, so he walked very slowly back to the Charms classroom, hoping nobody would notice the bruise

Luckily, no one noticed him slip in, but Sirius noticed the bruise as he passed him in the hallway after class.

"What happened to your face?" he demanded.

"Nothing. Bumped into some stupid suite of armour. They're standing everywhere."

"I don’t believe you. You’re not that clumsy. It looks like someone hit you."

"Well, if you absolutely must know, Mother and Father were here. They weren’t pleased."

"I reckon they came to yell at you for being sorted into Gryffindor. No doubt you're the favourite son since they didn’t bother to come here and complain when I was sorted," Sirius muttered and crossed his arms.

"Well, are you jealous of this?" snapped Regulus, pointing at his cheek. 

"Not at all. What did you do to earn that?"

I didn't do anything! But they couldn't very well hit Dumbledore, could they?"

"I guess not…" Sirius studied Regulus for a moment, his expression turning a little concerned. "Are you okay?"

"What do you think? I'm in the wrong house! The Gryffindors hate me and the Slytherins think I'm a traitor!"

"You’re not in the wrong house. Besides, Slytherin are evil brats so why would you care what they think, anyway?"

Regulus didn't bother to answer. They had had that discussion a million times. He just mumbled something illegible and headed for his next class: Potions. 

**o0o0o**

Potions was no more fun than Charms had been, perhaps even less so because they were sharing the subject with Slytherin. Several of their students made mocking comments and sent rude gestures at Regulus when Slughorn's back was turned.

Regulus ignored them, staring into his cauldron, stirring in it like crazy. Afterwards he packed his things slowly so he didn't have to walk with the other students. When the last student had left, Professor Slughorn came over to him.

"I must say I’m sorry that you weren't sorted into my house, Regulus. I have had all your cousins as well as your parents, and I was most disappointed when your brother was placed in Gryffindor. Can you imagine? Missing the heir to the Noble House of Black..."

"Well, Sirius isn't sorry," said Regulus. 

The old professor sighed. “Well, I suppose it’s obvious that he fits well in Gryffindor. But I had certainly counted on getting you, Regulus. What a pity.”

"Well, there's nothing to do about it, obviously," said Regulus moodily. 

"Sadly not," sighed Slughorn. "But I am sure you would have been a good Slytherin."

"Of course I would."

**o0o0o**

Regulus did not go to lunch either, although he was getting very hungry. He just couldn't get himself to go in there again, having everybody stare and talk about him. 

There was a knock on the door and Remus stuck his head in, smiling amicably. "I brought you some food, seeing you didn’t come down for lunch."

Regulus looked up, very surprised. Remus had noticed that he hadn’t been there and brought him food? "Um... Thank you," he said, hearing his stomach growl. This was great - now he didn't have to go down for dinner either. 

Remus sat down on the edge of Regulus' bed, and although uninvited, Regulus didn't comment on it. 

"How come you don’t come to the Hall for meals? People will start talking. Believe me, I know what that’s like. I get ill very often, and some people find it weird."

"Well, they're talking already, aren't they?" mumbled Regulus and bit into a cucumber sandwich. He took a couple more bites and then swallowed. "Why do you get sick so often?"

"I have a weak immune system," Remus said. "It has been a problem since I was very young. So rarely a month goes by without a trip to the hospital wing."

"Oh. That's too bad. Is it because you grew up so poor, you were malnourished or something?"

Remus looked little taken aback. "No. It isn't because I’m poor. I always had all life’s necessities. My parents are loving and caring as well, so I consider myself lucky."

"Really? You were never upset that you are poor?"

"Not at all. I have good parents and everything I really need," said Remus.

"But your robes and things... Isn't it embarrassing that people can tell? Everybody I know look down on poor people. Especially when they look it. And especially if they aren’t pure-bloods."

"People do look down on me but I try to not care. I have some good friends and it matters more to me what they think than everybody else." Remus sent Regulus a tentative smile. "Do you also look down on me because I’m poor?"

Regulus looked at him and then shrugged. In a way he did, but Remus had been so nice to him that he didn't like to say it. 

"You know… It doesn’t matter what other people think, only my friends. And you shouldn’t care what others think or say either. They don’t know what they’re talking about."

"No, obviously _you_ don't know what _you're_ talking about," said Regulus, putting down his sandwich. "It means a lot how people perceive you when you're part of an old noble family. I've shamed my family and I don't know how to make up for it."

"Well…" started Remus, sounding a little hurt. “I just think you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself and that you should get some friends. Everything gets easier if you have friends. I would like to be your friend if you want.”

"Whatever," said Regulus and rolled his eyes. Remus didn't understand, and how could he? He had grown up away from pure-blood society and anyone who was important. 

Remus figured that maybe he should just lay off. "Well... I won’t bother you anymore, then. I hope you will be okay."

Regulus didn't say goodbye. Remus was starting to annoy him so he was glad to see him go. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 – “I Would Rather Keep You Company”**

Next morning Regulus decided he could not stay away from the Great Hall forever, and his stomach was screaming for food again, so he walking in there, head held high. Blacks did so, they moved with pride and didn't slouch or sneak around. Why should he hide, anyway? He belonged at the school as much as anyone else. More than most, in fact, especially the Muggle-borns.

Sirius heard some girls whisper and giggle close to him so he turned his head to spot his brother strolling down between the two tables. He sighed. Regulus looked so stupid with his nose in the air like that, as if he were royal or something.

Nigel spotted Regulus and elbowed a bony looking boy sitting next to him. "Miles! That’s Regulus! We are friends."

"What? Oh, Sirius' stuck-up little brother. If he didn't have a stick up his arse I would feel sorry for him for having to share dorm with you," grinned Miles.

Regulus sat down where he could find a vacant seat; next to a couple of second years. He avoided eye contact with anyone and helped himself to some porridge. 

Some of the surrounding students started teasing him. 

"What did you do to your face? Get into a fight with the Hat for putting you in Gryffindor?" asked one. 

"I bet he walked into a table," grinned another. "He's got just the right height for it."

Regulus ignored them all, but he could feel his face flushing. People making fun of his size always set him off.

"Why don't you try to treat Regulus nicely?" said a girl with flaming red hair. "Like we do with all new students."

"We’re just having a bit of harmless fun, Lily," said one of the boys.

"Why aren't you sitting with your brother?" someone asked Regulus.

"Why don't you shut that gap in your face?" snapped Regulus. 

The boy looked surprised. Then he huffed and turned to talk to the boy beside him, leaving Regulus alone.

The girl with the red hair studied Regulus for a moment. "You won’t make many friends with that attitude," she said, resting her chin on the palm.

"I don't need advice from you, thank you very much," said Regulus flatly. 

"No? See that was a friendly gesture. I know you haven’t experienced many of those." She spotted a skinny black-haired boy walk by and waved at him. The boy light up and waved back before taking a seat at the Slytherin table.

Regulus noticed and couldn't help getting curious. "You're friends with a Slytherin?" 

"Yes. Severus is my best friend. He’s a bit of a loner but a good friend."

"Why is he your friend? Gryffindors and Slytherins hate each other."

"Not all of us. Sev and I have been friends for years before we came here, and why should we stop just because we were sorted into different houses?

"Hey, look," said Peter suddenly, elbowing Sirius in the ribs. "Your brother's talking to Evans! I didn't think he wanted to talk to anyone."

"What?" said James, his head whipping around. "Why does he do that? I bet he doesn't know she's Muggle-born."

Sirius looked over at his brother. "He will throw a fit when he finds out he’s been talking to one," he grinned and then turned to James. "Are you afraid that my brother will snatch Evans?"

"What? No! James insisted. "I'm just twelve, if you haven't noticed. I'm not interested in birds.”

"Sure you’re not," grinned Sirius and stuck out his tongue. "But you have a funny way of showing that you’re not, with your face all flushed right now."

"It isn’t!" said James, his face turning even redder. "I just don't get why she's being all friendly with him when she's always mad at me!"

"That's because you bully her boyfriend," said Peter. 

"I don't bully him. We're just giving back what he's dishing out, that nasty sod. And he isn't her boyfriend!"

"Whatever you say, mate," grinned Sirius.

"As if _you_ don't love pranking him," said James. "Talking of that - it's been a while..." He craned his neck to get a good look of the Slytherin table and yelled, "Oi, Snivellus! Did your mum forgot to send you shampoo again?"

Snape just stared down at the table.

"If I’m not mistaken I would think he is trying to ignore us," grinned Sirius. "HEY! You should ask Professor Flitwick for a charm to get rid of greasy hair!"

Peter laughed, patting Sirius on the back. 

"Or if you ask your house mates nicely maybe they'll chip in and buy you a bottle of shampoo!" shouted James. 

Furious, Lilly got up and marched over to where the Marauders were sitting. "You better stop it or I'll hex you both into next week!"

Sirius grinned up at her. "We’re just having a bit of fun with your boyfriend. Apparently he needs you to stand up for him. Maybe you could do him a favour and help him wash his hair?" 

Lily smacked Sirius across the cheek before any of them realised what was happening. Then she marched back to her seat. 

"Wow," said Regulus, clearly impressed. "Do you always do that?"

"When they are being really nasty, yes," she said and hooked a lock of hair behind her ear. 

Sirius stared after her, rubbing his cheek. "Better watch it, James. She’s clearly upset with us."

"Well, better you than me," said James, who usually got the most slaps.

"What’s going on here?" sounded sour voice. "Sirius? Potter? Five points from Gryffindor for each of you! Oh, and five more for Evans for using violence. Although Merlin knows you deserve it," Narcissa said, her eyes boring into her cousin. 

"Oh come on, Cissy," pleaded Sirius. "We were just having a bit of fun. Not our fault she has no humour. In all fairness the only one who should lose points is Snape for lack of hygiene."

"Five points more for your cheek," Narcissa said and marched off, passing right by Regulus without acknowledging him, although he tried to catch her attention.

**o0o0o**

Saturday morning Regulus was waiting expectantly for the post owls. He had written his parents, apologising again and telling them how horrible it was in Gryffindor, but had received no reply. His heart sped up when Lyra landed on the table in front of him, but to his dismay she had no letter. 

"Just wanted to visit me, did you?" he asked, running a hand down her back. 

"Wow, that's a beautiful bird!" gasped a freckled girl sitting next to Regulus. "I've never seen an owl like that! What kind is it?"

Regulus couldn't help feeling a swell of pride. "It's a hawk owl. She's imported from Canada."

"Blimey, that is really special," the girl smiled.

Two of her friends joined her to admire the owl. "Can I pet her? What’s her name?"

"If you're careful. She's a rather sensitive bird, not some common barn owl. Her name is Lyra."

The freckled girl carefully reached out and gently stroked the back of the bird’s head. "There, there, Lyra. What a pretty name she has, and she is so soft!"

Regulus fed his bird a couple of sausages which she gracefully accepted, and Regulus disapprovingly watched Sirius' horned owl a little further down the table stomping around like a bull in a china shop, stuffing its beak with bacon and eggs and knocking over the pumpkin juice. No style at all, and Sirius, of course, was just grinning and encouraging it.

**o0o0o**

Regulus decided to take Lyra with him back to the Tower. Merlin knew he needed some intelligent company with the boneheads he had to share dormitory with. 

Brown, the boy he liked the least (apart from Nigel who was driving him crazy), eyed the bird and said, "We're not allowed to keep our owls here. They belong in the owlery."

"She's very well trained," snapped Regulus. "And if you don't shut it, I'll have her peck out your eyes."

Brown eyed him sceptically but then backed down as if he wasn't sure if Regulus was serious but didn’t want to take the chance.

Nigel watched the bird and his face split into a grin. "That’s a special owl. Can it do any tricks? My owl can only fly around. It's a bit fat so it doesn't want to do anything but fly and eat. I suppose that I feed it too much when it comes with a letter for me. Have you gotten any letters?"

"Why do you even bother talking to him, Nigel?" asked Brown. "He’s too stuck up to want to be your friend."

Regulus didn't want to answer Nigel's question about if he had received any letters. His parents were ignoring him, and they had obviously not let Kreacher send a reply to the letter Regulus had sent him. Maybe they hadn't even let him read it. 

"No, she doesn't do any tricks!" he said in an offended tone. "She's a graceful bird with dignity. She does what I ask her, but I would never have her do stupid tricks!"

Nigel eyed Regulus in surprise, his mouth falling open. Then he sat down on his bed and read the letter he had received from his mother. "It’s from my mum. She says she is happy because I was put in Gryffindor like my older brother. Very proud. You got put in the same house as your brother too, yeah?"

Regulus was about to say something very offensive but decided he didn't want to waste any more time talking to Nigel, so he just climbed onto his bed (Lyra on his shoulder) and violently yanked the curtains closed. 

**o0o0o**

The rain cleared up around noon and Regulus took the opportunity to take his broom out for a ride. It felt wonderful being in the air all by himself and away from that horrible school with all its nosey students. He decided to do this as often as he could. When he landed half an hour later, Madam Hooch came strolling towards him.

“You’re good on a broom, Mr. Black," she said. "You're hoping to join the Gryffindor team at some point, I assume?"

Regulus' eyes lit up. "Yes, Madam, I've been training to be Seeker. I hope maybe next year I can try out for the team. If they need a new Seeker, that is..."

"Their Seeker is a seventh grader so there will be an open spot next year. I suggest that you keep training and watch your team practise as well as the matches."

"Of course! I would never dream of missing a match!" said Regulus eagerly, feeling excited about the news. 

He came back to the common room in a good mood for the first time since the Hat had yelled "Gryffindor." He ran into Remus who sat in an armchair reading a book.

Remus looked up as Regulus came into the room and he sent him a smile. "You seem in a good mood. Have a good flight?" he asked, giving a nod at the broom in Regulus’ hand.

"Yes. There's loads of space here so I can fly faster than at home," said Regulus and dropped down in a chair next to Remus. 

"Yeah? That’s wonderful."

"Madam Hooch saw me and reckons I should try out for the Quidditch team next year."

The three other Marauders had come in just then and stopped when they saw Regulus sitting there talking to Remus. 

"You better not try out for Chaser, ‘cause that spot is mine!" announced James, who was looking forward to trying out himself since there would also be a Chaser position free next year.

"He can’t be going for Chaser because he would be knocked off the broom or break an arm when somebody threw him the Quaffle," sniggered Peter low enough so that only James and Sirius could hear him.

"Don’t worry, James," said Sirius. "Reggie is going for Seeker and he’s quite good actually, so he will probably get the spot."

Remus looked at Regulus and smiled. "Seeker? That sounds brilliant!”

Regulus blushed a little. "Well... I'm sure there are other good candidates, so I can't be sure to get the spot."

"So you're talking now, Black?" said a third year named Andy McKenzie. "I thought Gryffindors weren’t fancy enough to converse with."

"Only some Gryffindors - like you, for instance," Regulus shot back. 

"Just leave him alone, McKenzie, yeah?" said Remus.

"So what are you? His personal house elf? I bet he misses having a servant on each hand.” 

"Shut up you piece of filth!" snarled Regulus, feeling a sting when reminded of Kreacher. He did miss him a lot, but as a friend, not a servant. 

"And what are you going to do about it, Little Black? Stare me down? Cry to your big brother? Or Mummy and Daddy? I hear they came to the school and yelled at Dumbledore on your behalf. Quite embarrassing, isn’t it?" 

Regulus jumped to his feet, feeling heat rise in his cheeks. "Want to take it outside?"

McKenzie studied him and laughed. He was a good deal taller and sturdier built that Regulus and must have had at least sixty pounds on him. "I could break you in half with a single punch!"

"I'm talking about a wizard duel!" snarled Regulus. "But you're a brute so I should have guessed you were thinking about Muggle duelling."

Remus got up from his seat and took a step forward. "T-take it easy, lads, yeah? You’ll just get in trouble with McGonagall.”

"Forget it, Regulus,” said James. “You don’t know how to duel yet. You’ve only been here for a week."

"I can take him on anytime," said Regulus. I'm a pure-blood and magic runs strong in me. What are you?" he continued, glaring at McKenzie. 

"Bigger and more experienced than you," snarled McKenzie.

"Please," Remus pleaded, but it fell on deaf ears.

"You do know Remus is right, don’t you," Sirius asked his brother. "You’ll just get in trouble. I’ve never noticed before that you had Mother’s temper."

"I don't!" retorted Regulus, but tried to speak in a calmer voice anyway. "And don't you talk ill about Mother. You owe her respect."

"I don’t owe her jack," said Sirius, glaring at his brother. "I’m perfectly fine here and I am glad I don’t have to set foot in that bloody house more than three months a year!"

"You're an ungrateful brat! Always have been!"

"Runs in the family!" spat Sirius and got up from his seat.

Everyone in the common room had gone quiet and was staring at the brothers.

"I don't care what you do," said Regulus, narrowing his eyes at Sirius. "I'm out of here. I don't need you or anybody else!" Then he marched off and disappeared through the portrait hole. 

"Fine! Suit yourself, you little git!" called Sirius after him.

**o0o0o**

Regulus was feeling a little sick when they sat on the train on their way home for Christmas. He had not talked to his parents since the day in Dumbledore's office. They hadn't even written, so he didn't know what to expect. 

Their father was waiting for them at the platform. He gave Sirius a curt nod and "Hello, Sirius," but didn’t even look at Regulus. When they came home Mrs. Black acted the same way, treating Regulus as if he were invisible. 

Kreacher, however, sent Regulus a quick smile as he entered the room. The elf had obviously been told to ignore him as well but that proved difficult.

Regulus sneaked down to the kitchen a little later and wrapped his arms around Kreacher.

The elf fondly patted the boy’s head with its small hand. "Kreacher missed Young Master," he croaked, sounding very emotional.

"I missed you too. Did you get my letters?"

Kreacher looked a mix of mournful and ashamed. "Mistress took the letters so Kreacher did not get to read them. She also forbade him to write Master Regulus. Kreacher is very sorry."

"Oh... I thought that might happen. Don't feel bad about it."

"The happy couple is reunited," a teasing voice sounded and they both spotted Sirius at the door. "You know Reggie, I don’t think I have ever been this close to being the favourite and I must say it’s a curious experience."

“Well, go ahead and enjoy it, why don’t you?” snapped Regulus.

“Kreacher did _not_ miss Master Sirius,” muttered Kreacher to himself as he went back to preparing dinner. “Oh no, indeed he did not.”

Dinner was very uncomfortable as their parents still acted as if Regulus weren't there. They talked to Sirius in their usual unfriendly tone and criticized him for everything, but Regulus would much have preferred that to the silent treatment.

When he was finished he excused himself with a "Thank you for dinner," although he expected no reply. His mother just kept sipping of her glass of wine but his father gave Regulus a slight nod, the first kind of recognition of his existence since he came home.

Alone in his room Regulus curled up on the bed and gave in to the tears that had been building up ever since he had come home. 

There was a knock on the door. Regulus didn't answer but it opened anyway, Sirius walking in. He went over to sit on the edge of his brother’s bed. "Look, Reggie... I'm sorry I haven't been there much for you, but you haven’t exactly been wanting to talk to me either... like it's all my fault you were placed in Gryffindor. But hey - at least we’re in the same house. Just like you wanted."

Regulus sniffed and hid his face from Sirius. He hated to cry in front of anyone. "They hate me. And it isn't even my fault."

"Well, I know that feeling, although I don’t care too much. You shouldn’t either.”

“You know I can’t just not care,” snapped Regulus.

“I know,” sighed Sirius and put a hand on Regulus’ shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “But listen, Reggie: they’re cold-hearted bastards. This should prove it to you. Even though you’ve always behaved the way they want, they give you the cold shoulder now. They don’t deserve your loyalty. They aren’t showing _you_ any.”

“Shut up,” mumbled Regulus, digging his face into his pillow.

**o0o0o**

**Regulus’ second year**

Regulus made the Quidditch team already in his second year. His first match was against Slytherin, and he was a little shaken over how hostile the atmosphere was. Of course he had seen a game between the two enemy houses before (last year) but he hadn't been part of the team then, and didn't remember it being this intense. The spectators were yelling foul things to the opposite team and the players were scowling at each other and spitting curses. Being the two new players, Regulus and James were receivers of the most negative attention. Unlike Regulus, who felt very uncomfortable, James seemed to almost enjoy the abuse because it gave him an excuse to talk back.

A group of Slytherins were walking close to Sirius, Remus and Peter as they filed into the stadium. 

"I didn't know they let babies on the teams," said one. "Where did they find him? In a nursery?"

Another one smirked in Sirius’ direction. "Hey, Black! Let's hope the weather stays calm so your sister won’t be blown off the pitch!"

Sirius immediately reached for his wand but Remus put a hand on his shoulder and shook his head. "Sirius, don’t. You’ll land yourself another detention. Let's just sit down and enjoy the game."

Sirius clenched his fist instead of grabbing his wand and glared at the Slytherins. "You’re not worth my time.  Let’s see who laughs when Gryffindor wins!"

The game started and the spectators were yelling at the top of their lungs, cheering when their house scored and booing when the other did. When James scored Gryffindor's third goal the Gryffindor stand exploded in applause. James was, already at thirteen, one of the most popular students at the school.

Twenty minutes into the game Regulus spotted the Snitch. His heart leapt in his chest as he set off in fast pursuit. The spectators realised what he was doing and the Gryffindors got to their feet, screaming words of encouragement. Although most of them rather disliked Regulus they all seemed to have forgotten that right now.

Regulus was so focused on the Snitch that he didn't see the Bludger coming at him full speed. It hit him square in the side with so much force it knocked him off the broom. Luckily, Fabian Prewett, one of the Gryffindor Beaters, was right below him and managed to catch him by the robes, leaving him dangling in the air.

The Slytherin spectators started chanting, "DROP, DROP, DROP!"

Sirius was hanging over the edge of the rail in horror but could breathe easier when Fabian's brother, Gideon, arrived to help get Regulus back on his broom.

The Slytherin Seeker stopped next to Regulus and flashed him a grin. "Lost you balance there, little Black? This is not a children’s game."

Regulus tried to send him an angry scowl, but his face was grimacing from the terrific pain in his ribs where the Bludger had hit him. He couldn't remember ever having experienced anything that agonising but he refused to give up. He was going to catch the Snitch and show them all that he was a worthy player and not some little kid. 

"Regulus, get going!" yelled Anders, the Gryffindor Captain. "We have to get that Snitch!"

Regulus clenched his teeth, ignoring the pain and set off in pursuit of Parkinson, the other Seeker. He didn't seem to know where the Snitch was, though, so Regulus changed directions to go look for it on his own.

James scored again and the three other Marauders jumped to their feet, screaming their approval. Sirius punched the air and Peter yelled, "GO, JAMES!"

Remus kept his attention on Regulus, worried about his condition. That Bludger had hit him very hard and Remus was sure he must be in a lot of pain.

Regulus had reached the end of the pitch and turned back. And suddenly it was there, right in front of him. Before he was even aware of it, his hand had shot out by reflex and snatched the Snitch. No one else seemed to have noticed, so Regulus flew to the middle of the pitch and held the Snitch up high in the air. The stadium went silent for a few seconds and then the entire Gryffindor stand exploded in screams of joy. Most Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws joined in.

Anders and the rest of the team flew over to Regulus, and patted Regulus on the back.

"Great catch, Black!"

“Way to go!”

Regulus couldn't help grinning widely, in spite of not liking to show so much emotion, and in spite of feeling like someone had inserted a thousand needles in his left side. 

They all landed and dismounted their brooms. The Slytherins sent Regulus glares as they headed towards the changing rooms.

Sirius, Remus and Peter came down onto the field and Sirius gave his brother a pat on the back.

"Well done, Reggie! And brilliant goals, James!"

"Are you okay?" Remus asked, looking Regulus up and down. "You took a nasty hit. Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey.”

Regulus shrugged as if it were nothing. "It's not that bad, really,” he said but gasped as just talking sent another stab of pain through his side.

"You sure? It looked bad," Remus insisted.

"He’s fine, Remus," Sirius said and slung an arm around James. “Reggie is tougher than he looks.”

Regulus was spared the embarrassment of having to go to Madam Pomfrey, because she came to him. "Black, come here and let me have a look at you!" she ordered and ushered him off to the side. She lifted up his shirt to examine his ribs. She sighed. "Well, nothing I can't fix. An hour in the infirmary should be enough."

"What's wrong?" Regulus asked, eying the huge black bruise that had spread over his side. 

"A broken rib. Surely you can feel that?"

"Um, yeah, well, I guess it sort of hurts," said Regulus, trying to supress a gasp as he took in another breath. Now that the adrenalin was leaving his body it was starting to hurt so badly it made him feel sick and he was afraid he was going to throw up in front of everybody. 

"You come with me now, Mr. Black," said Madam Pomfrey and took him by the shoulder, leading him off the field. Sirius watched them for a moment and when receiving a blaming look from Remus, he followed.

Regulus suddenly heard a high-pitched scream and he turned his head to see Nigel storming towards them. 

"Oh, no," Regulus groaned to himself. "Not now!"

Sirius caught Nigel by the collar of his robes before he could throw himself at Regulus.

"You were incredible!" the small boy cheered, fighting to get free of Sirius’ hold.

Regulus ignored him, something he had become very good at. It was unfathomable that Nigel hadn't given up on him long ago. 

"Beat it," said Sirius and tried to push Nigel in the opposite direction but he kept trying to get over to Regulus.

"You’re the best Seeker in the world!"

**o0o0o**

Later in the hospital wing Regulus was lying on his back resting, feeling much better after Madam Pomfrey had mended his rib and given him a pain potion. The door slammed open and in filed the whole team, grinning and whooping. 

"That was a great match!" beamed Gideon and threw himself on the foot of Regulus’ bed.

“We got ourselves a little super-Seeker!”

"It was a good choice putting you on the team," said Christian Anders.

 “Blimey, that was a mean Bludger,” said Fabian. “That had to hurt.”

"Well, if you had done your job that wouldn’t have happened," said Regulus. This was all getting a little too chummy. They were Gryffindors, after all, and Regulus did not wish to be part of that. And besides, they were only nice to him now because he helped them win, not because they actually liked him. 

"Easy there, Black," said Fabian, his smile disappearing. "We did our best and we nearly made it there. Why do you think we were so close to you that we caught you by the robes?"

"Well, try harder next time," said Regulus. “It wasn't very comfortable getting a Bludger in my ribs."

The brothers looked at each other and then at Regulus. "You would think that you would be in a better mood after winning your first match."

"I'm fine, thank you," said Regulus. "But now I would like a little rest, so if you could just give me some peace."

"But we're having a party in the common room!" said the Keeper, Tyler. "You have to be there. You're the hero of the day!"

"I'm sure you will have plenty of fun without me," said Regulus flatly. 

"Why do you always have to be such a prat?" growled James. "We're being friendly and supportive, and you act like we're offending you!"

"I'm just saying I'm a little tired, alright? Can you blame me? I broke a rib!"

“Fine!” said James. “We will leave you alone. Show up later if you want to. Or don't. Come on, lads.”

Regulus turned his back to the door and curled into a ball. On the verge of tears he pressed his eyes tightly shut, trying to hold them back. He had been so happy just a few minutes ago. Why did they have to be so in-your-face Gryffindory? Why did things have to be so difficult? A part of him desperately wanted to belong, to party with them and have friends, but he would disrespect his family name and blood if he acted like a foolish Gryffindor.

There was a knock on the door and Regulus heard Madam Pomfrey open and talk quietly with someone. He heard two sets of footsteps come closer and a chair being drawn up. Then one set of footsteps leaving.

"How are you?" sounded Remus’ concerned voice.

Regulus quickly wiped his eyes, hoping they weren't too red, and turned around. "Alright," he said in a steady voice. "Why did you come here?"

"Well," Remus said and leaned back. “I wanted to check on you. I still think that Bludger looked nasty.” He dipped his hand into his pocket and fished out a box of chocolate frogs and some other candy. "I brought you something. I always find chocolate helps when you’re not feeling well.”

Regulus looked at Remus and then the frogs. He got a lump in his throat. Maybe it was gratitude. He wasn't sure. He couldn't decide whether he should refuse or not, but Remus was being so kind to him that it was hard to refuse, and he was being nice in a much calmer way and not so noisily stupid like the other Gryffindors, so Regulus figured he didn't have to turn him away. Anyway, it was just the two of them; nobody would have to know.

"Thank you," he said and slowly took the box of frogs. He opened it, took a frog and offered one to Remus. 

Remus smiled and took the frog. "What card did you get?" he asked and leaned in to see. He was happy that Regulus had accepted his friendly gesture and not just turned him away. James had told him that Regulus had been a right prat when they visited him a little earlier.

Regulus fished out the card from his pack and looked at it. "I got Merlin. Did you know he was a Slytherin?"

"I didn't, actually," Remus said and leaned in to look at the card. "I don't think I’ve ever seen this card. I don’t have many myself." He put the rest of the candy on the bedside table.

"You don't have to give me all your candy," said Regulus, pushing the sugar quills and pumpkin pasties back towards Remus. "I'm quite happy with just the frogs. They're my favourite. And you can have Merlin," he continued and held out the card to Remus. "I have him already."

"Really?" Remus smiled and took the card. "Thank you very much."

"Why aren't you at the party with the others?"

"Like I said, I wanted to see how you were," Remus explained. "I’m not that much of a party person anyway, so I would rather keep you company if you don't mind."

"I bet your friends are mad at you for choosing me over them," said Regulus, unwrapping another frog. "They don't like me. Well, Sirius does sometimes, but mostly not."

"I'm sure that's not true. But maybe if you opened up more and you weren't so reserved then maybe they would loosen up. I’m sure they asked you to party as well, did they not?"

"Yes, they did. But they're annoying and disrespectful of my personal space. And they don't really like me, they just want to butter me up so I'll keep playing for them."

"That doesn’t sound very likely, Regulus. Everyone can see you enjoy playing, so why would they be afraid you would want to quit?"

Regulus shrugged and took a look at his second card. "Why are you always so nice to me?" he asked quietly after a short silence. 

"Because I like you," smiled Remus. "I think there is more to you than that façade. Also, you're always nice to me."

Regulus shrugged again, not knowing what to say. It wasn't true that he was always nice to Remus. In public he would often snap at him or ignore him like he did with everyone else. He had to admit that he actually felt a little bad for doing it, but he couldn't have people think he was friends with a poor half-blood Gryffindor. 

Madam Pomfrey came in after Remus had left. "Why are you still here? I told you you could go after an hour's rest. You're quite well enough to go back to your house."

"Can't I stay until tomorrow? I'm feeling rather tired and weak," Regulus said, trying to look ill. He did not want to go back and maybe be forced to join the party. Or get criticized for acting the way he had.

Madam Pomfrey sighed and nodded. “Alright. Until tomorrow, then.”

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 – “He Started It!”**

**Regulus’ 4 th year**

When Remus came back from the hospital wing an evening after the latest full moon he could hear people yelling as he entered the common room. The voices were coming from the stairs to the boys' dormitories. No one in the common room seemed to be affected much by the yelling or sound of objects being knocked around. They were so used to it by now. The two brothers would be getting along fine one minute and at each other’s throats the next. 

Remus sank into a chair next to James and Peter, sighing, "What are they fighting about _now_?"

"About Regulus' new friend,” said James. “A little snake."

"Who?" asked Remus, his interest piqued. Regulus had never had a friend at the school before. Had never wanted one.

"Barty Crouch," said James. "I think he's the son of the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement."

"I forbid you to see that Slytherin scum!" Sirius roared. "You’re a Gryffindor, so act like one!"

"I'm more Slytherin than Gryffindor!" Regulus yelled back and dodged the book Sirius had just thrown at him. "And you can’t forbid me anything - it's none of your business who I choose to spend time with!"

"I’m your big brother, and you’re my responsibility! I have a say in who you see and that’s not going to be a bloody Slytherin!"

"FUCK YOU, SIRIUS!" Regulus screamed and stormed out of the dorm, smacking the door as hard as he could in his brother’s face and rushed down the stairs. 

Remus looked up as Regulus reached the common room. The boy looked furious and Remus didn’t blame him. He had finally made a friend and now Sirius was trying to mess it up. Remus had to agree that it wasn’t Sirius’ business.

"Hi, Regulus," said Remus as Regulus was about to pass him.

Regulus stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Remus. His heart did a summersault. Oh, damn it. He couldn't even _look_ at him anymore without feeling all funny. He had been feeling like that the whole year and had finally had to admit to himself that he fancied Remus. And obviously this meant that he had to be gay, which was an even bigger pill to swallow. His parents would kill him if they found out. 

"What do you want, Lupin?" snapped Regulus, sending him a glare. He might be infatuated with him but that was not something he was going to show. 

"Nothing," said Remus and looked a little taken aback, although he was used to Regulus’ less than friendly attitude. "I just wanted to say hi. Haven’t seen you in a couple of days, that's all."

"Well, it's not as if I'm going anywhere. I'm stuck in this hell-hole, aren't I?"

Regulus turned as he heard loud footsteps trampling down the stairs behind him. 

“Don’t use that tone with Remus!" barked Sirius. “And you belong here in Gryffindor whether you like it or not, so start acting like it!”

"Act like you and Potter?" scoffed Regulus. "Strutting around like I own the place, acting like an arse? I'd rather die!"

"And _your_ behaviour is better? A stuck-up prat, always moping around like someone pissed in your tea! Merlin, Regulus, you’ve been here for three years now! Maybe if you would lighten up then you would make some friends in here!"

“I _did_ make a friend!”

“A _real_ fried! A Gryffindor friend!”

“I don’t need any Gryffindor friends.”

“So you’re just going to hang around with Slytherins and be a disgrace to your house?”

"Disgrace to my house?" said Regulus, incredulously. "You sound like Mother!"

Sirius’ eyes turned black like a thundercloud and he whipped out his wand. "TAKE THAT BACK!"

Everyone in the vicinity scrambled to their feet and moved out of the way.

"Sirius!" Remus said, jumping to his feet. "Put that wand away!"

"Mind your own business, Remus," snapped Sirius, not taking his eyes off Regulus.

Regulus drew his wand as well. It gave him a vicious pleasure to see his brother this offended so he kept going. "You _act_ like her too! Screaming and raving whenever you don't get your way!"

"LEVICORPUS!" screamed Sirius.

Regulus was flipped over and hoisted up in the air by his ankle. "IMPEDIMENTA!" he yelled, pointing his own wand at Sirius, knocking him backwards into the bookshelves against the wall by the fireplace. The Levicorpus jinx was broken and Regulus crashed to the floor.

Sirius was up faster than Regulus and he pointed his wand at him, his eyes full of rage. "Impedimenta!" he yelled, sending Regulus flying backwards knocking over a coffee table.

"Want to intervene?" asked Peter.

"No, mate," grinned James. "This is too bloody entertaining!” 

Regulus had dropped his wand in the fall and couldn't find it, so he dove behind the nearest sofa as Sirius shot another curse at him. 

"Sirius! Stop it!" demanded Remus. When Sirius aimed another hex at his brother, Remus pulled his wand and quickly disarmed Sirius, wand flying into the air and landing at the other end of the common room.

Sirius turned, glaring furiously at Remus. "What the hell, Moony? I’m teaching my brother a lesson!"

"You’re attacking an unarmed wizard is what you are," said Remus and kept his wand drawn on Sirius. "Now calm down!"

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?" roared a voice. 

Everybody in the common room froze and stared at Professor McGonagall standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"I demand an explanation right this minute!"

"We were just practicing duelling, Professor," Sirius said and picked up his wand from where it had fallen.

Of course McGonagall didn’t buy that explanation. "Black?" she said, noticing Regulus sprawled on the floor. "I should have guessed. I've just about had it with you two! Fighting like animals. Detention - both of you, after dinner, my office!"

"He started it!" protested Regulus.

" _You_ started it!" barked Sirius, working himself up again. "You know just which buttons to push to make me mad!"

"Enough!" said McGonagall, holding up a hand. "I don’t want to hear any excuses. You will both receive detention. My office after dinner and don’t be late!” She turned to Remus. “And Lupin - you're a prefect. Why didn't you try to stop this? Do try to live up to your responsibility, will you?”

"I did try to stop them, Professor," said Remus, shooting a look at one of the other prefects who had been hiding behind a table. "I promise I’ll try harder next time."

"Good," said McGonagall, her voice kinder. “Godric knows it's a demanding job with those two." 

"It's your fault," growled Regulus when the professor had left. "You just had to chase after me. And I had Quidditch practice after dinner! You ruined it!"

"Yeah, that's true," said James. "You actually did, Padfoot. Could've chosen a better time, mate."

"Yeah – go ahead and blame me for everything!" Sirius spat. "It's not because he is such a prat that we got detention! And I suppose that you want me to take the full blame so he can go fly around on the pitch?" 

"You _were_ the one who drew your wand, mate...” said James.

"So what? I just dangled him by the ankle, I didn’t blast him into a bloody bookshelf!”

“You knocked me into a table!” said Regulus.

“That was after you attacked me! You started it!"

"You're such a child," said Regulus, crossing his arms. "You’d think _you_ were the little brother!"

Peter sniggered. 

Regulus spun around, glaring at Peter. "What?"

"He's a head taller than you and twice as broad."

"No, he isn't! _You're_ twice as broad! And that isn't something to be proud of!"

"Please, lads... can't you just settle down?" begged Remus, rubbing his temples. He was working up a headache and almost wished he had stayed in the hospital wing another night instead of this. 

“There you go again, pissing on my friends, you little shit!” growled Sirius at his brother.

"Right," snorted Regulus. "They can say all sorts of things about me but as soon as I talk back, you're at my throat. Well, sod you all!"

"People say things about you all the freaking time," said Sirius. "But that's because you're always so bloody serious and have no sense of humour. Maybe if you lightened up a bit, then people wouldn't pick on you and I wouldn't have to stick up for you all the time. Remember that and stop being so bleeding ungrateful."

Regulus who had been on his way out the portrait hole stopped and turned around. " _What_? You stick up for me? You've got to be joking! You stick up for your three friends and yourself and that's it!"

"You don't think I tell people to fuck off when you say stuff about you?"

"I don't have time for this rubbish,” Regulus huffed and left.

"He’s so bloody stubborn!" growled Sirius and dumped into a chair across from Remus.

"Guess it runs in the family," said Remus, sending his friend a tired smile.

**o0o0o**

Sirius and Regulus walked to McGonagall's office not speaking a word to each other. 

"Yes. Come in," sounded the reply when Sirius knocked.

The brothers headed in different directions, seating themselves as far apart as they possibly could. 

"Both of you up front," ordered McGonagall. “Next to each other.”

The brothers protested but did as told, sitting down next to each other, arms crossed and looking opposite ways.

The professor sighed. "Why is it that you two can't get along? You're brothers. You should support one another."

Sirius looked at Regulus and then back at McGonagall. "We do get along sometimes but he’s so bloody stubborn. He hates being a Gryffindor and we have to watch him sulk all day. It drives me nuts!" 

"He just hates me," said Regulus. "He's got new friends that he likes better, so I'm just in the way."

"That’s not true! I don’t hate you."

"He wishes Potter was his brother," said Regulus. "I heard him say that to him."

"That doesn’t mean I want him to take your place," sighed Sirius. "You could get some good friends of your own if you would just lighten up a bit."

"I just  _got_  a friend!" said Regulus, still looking at McGonagall and not his brother. "But Sirius does not approve, just because he's in the wrong house. That's what our fight was about!"

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "Is that true, Black?" she asked, her eyes on Sirius. 

"Well, yes... Because I don’t want my little brother meddling with the wrong sort."

"And what is 'the wrong sort'?" asked the professor.

"Slytherins," explained Regulus. "All Slytherins are evil and should be avoided or bullied."

"Well, they should," mumbled Sirius and dropped his head. He had to take a couple of deep breaths to keep his temper in check. It was typical. Of course McGonagall was siding with Regulus, just because he was a bootlicking model student who only lost Gryffindor house points when Sirius was involved.

**o0o0o**

The next morning Anders approached Regulus, looking positively livid. "You do realise we have a match against Ravenclaw in two weeks, yes? I strongly suggest you stop getting into fights with your brother, or if you absolutely must, then do it on your free days, because it’s not the first time this has happened!"

"Well, tell _him_! It takes two to fight, doesn't it? And he’s the one who won't leave me alone. If everybody would just leave me the bloody hell alone, I wouldn't bother anybody," snapped Regulus.

Anders looked a little taken aback but then pointed a finger in Regulus’ face, hissing, "Well, don’t let it happen again! I scheduled another practice tomorrow so you better be there or I’ll cut you from the team!"

"Don’t worry about it," Lily's voice sounded behind Regulus when Anders had left. "You know how seriously he takes that game. I bet he’s more upset with Sirius because he knows Sirius probably landed you both that detention."

"Whatever," mumbled Regulus and hurried away from her.

He had actually sort of liked her until he found out she was Muggle-born. Since then he had avoided her or ignored her as much as he could.

**o0o0o**

On the first Hogsmeade trip after Christmas Regulus fell in love. He liked animals so he always swung by the menagerie at the end of High Street to see what new pets and creatures were in the store. And there he was: the most magnificent black tomcat. Their eyes met and something clicked instantly. The big cat got up and rubbed itself against Regulus' legs, purring.   
  
"That's odd," said the storeowner. "He doesn't normally like people."

Regulus picked up the cat and scratched it behind the ear, making it purr even louder. 

"You want it? You can have him for four galleons," said the owner. 

Regulus sighed. "I already have an owl and we're only allowed to have one animal at the school."

He left the store but couldn't stop thinking about the cat. He could, of course, just let Lyra move home to Grimmauld Place, but he didn't want her to be that far away, and he didn't want to give her away or sell her either. Then an idea struck him. He could give Lyra to Remus. Remus didn't have an owl, and couldn't afford one, Regulus was sure. He would no doubt treat her well and this way Regulus would still have Lyra close. And then there was the ulterior motive of doing something nice for Remus without actually admitting it.

The Marauders were just about to enter Honeydukes when Regulus came stalking towards them. He looked determined and Remus wondered if he was angry about something Sirius had done, and that perhaps they would start a fight in the middle of the street, but as the boy got closer Remus could tell that he didn’t look agitated.

“You need money?" asked Sirius as Regulus stopped in front of them.

"I have my own money, thanks," said Regulus. He decided to join them so he could discretely ask Remus to step aside with him a little later when the other three were occupied. After about ten minutes he got the chance. "Hey, I'm going into the bookshop. Anybody want to come?" he asked, knowing there was a good chance only Remus would be interested.

And sure enough, Remus nodded and told the others he would catch up with them. 

"I wanted to ask you something," said Regulus as they walked together. "You like owls, yes?"

Remus nodded. "I do," he smiled and tugged his scarf closer around his neck. "Why do you ask?"

"Er, well..." started Regulus. “Come with me," he continued, deciding that it was easiest to show Remus the reason. They stepped into the menagerie and the giant cat rushed over to Regulus and asked to be picked up. Regulus did and the cat rubbed its head against Regulus' chin, purring loudly. "I really love this cat, but I'm not allowed to keep two animals at the school, so... I thought perhaps you wanted Lyra?"

Remus' eyes widened. He had seen Regulus with his owl many times and it was clear that he adored the bird. And here he was, saying he would give her to Remus? "I... I can’t accept that. You’re so proud of that owl. Why don’t you just keep her at Grimmauld Place? You don’t have to give her away.”

"Yes, well... I really want this cat and I feel bad about just sending Lyra home. She likes it here.”

“But why would you want to give her to _me_ of all people?"

“I know you don't have your own owl and I know you would be really good to her. You have Care of Magical Creatures and all... So I would really like it if you would take her. You would be doing me a favour, actually, so you don't have to feel grateful or anything."

"Well... I..." Remus started. "Alright. If you really mean it, I will be very happy to have her." He sent Regulus a smile and had an urge to give him a hug but he guessed that would be pushing it. "Thank you for thinking of me."

"Well, like I said, you'd just be doing me a favour."

**o0o0o**

"Where's Regulus?" asked James when Remus came back on his own. "Did he get embarrassed to be seen with a half-blood?"

"Not at all," grinned Remus. His heart was still leaping in his chest when thinking about the present he had just received. “He went home.”

"What are you looking all giddy about?" asked Peter, eying Remus closely. 

"He gave me his owl so he could buy a cat."

"What?" exclaimed Sirius. "He gave you his _owl_?"

"Why would he do that?" asked James. "Why didn't he just send it to Grimmauld Place?"

"He said she liked living here, and maybe he just wants to be able to see her once in a while. I don’t know," Remus said.

"It’s a bit odd that he gives her to you," said Sirius. "No offence, but it’s not as though you two are friends.”

"Well, I’m happy he gave her to me."

"What about his new slimy friend, Crouch?" speculated James. "I don't think he has an owl. I've seen him get mail from school owls. Why didn't Regulus give it to him?"

Remus wondered the same "I don’t know. He said he knew I would take good care of her because I have Care of Magical Creatures."

James snorted. "He's got an agenda. He's too much of a Slytherin."

"I... I don’t think so," Remus said, a little hurt by the fact that they couldn't just accept that Regulus had wanted to give him the owl. "He is just being nice to me."

“He’s never being nice to anyone,” said James.

Peter wondered why Sirius never said anything to James when he criticized Regulus, because he did when other people said mean things about him. But Peter was not one to ask that sort of questions. He didn't want to risk Sirius or James getting mad at him. 

**o0o0o**

Regulus walked back to Hogwarts holding his new cat until his arms got so tired he had to put it down. 

"You're really heavy, you know that?" he said to the cat. "You've got to weigh thirty pounds at least. Are you going to run away if I let you go?"

The cat looked him right in the eye as if it were a little offended by Regulus doubting its loyalty. 

"Okay," said Regulus and let the cat go. He was glad to see that the it followed him closely as he began walking. 

"Hey, Regulus, wait up!" sounded a voice behind him.

Regulus stopped and looked around. It was Barty Crouch.

"You got yourself a new pet?" asked Barty, eying the cat. "We aren’t allowed to have more than one and I didn’t think you were one to go against the rules." He flashed him a grin and then eyed the cat. "Bit fat, isn't it?"

"He's not fat!" said Regulus and picked the cat up again, hugging it to him. "He's just big. I think maybe he's part kneazle. Anyway, I'm just going to send my owl home, I think."

"Oh, alright. Don't get why you would want to put aside such a fine bird for a fluff ball like that, but that’s your call, I suppose." 

"He's special. We have some kind of connection," said Regulus as he started walking again, still holding on to his cat, who gave an angry hiss in Barty's direction. 

"Well, if you reconsider giving that owl away then I'm interested. But since you’re sending it home then I guess you're not."

Regulus knew that Barty was likely to discover at some point that Regulus had given Lyra to Remus, but he didn't feel like explaining it now. Even if Regulus had not had feelings for Remus he would never have given Lyra to Barty. He like him all right, but there was something about him that made Regulus a bit uneasy and he wouldn’t dare trust him with his owl's welfare. That was not a concern he had with Remus. He was kind to everybody and everything. Stupidly kind, Regulus thought sometimes. He let people walk all over him and then apologised for being in their way. He was kind to people who didn't deserve it.  _Like_   _you_ , said a little voice inside his head.

  **o0o0o**

Remus and the others came back to the common room a good hour later, finding Regulus sitting in front of the fire with the giant black cat on his lap.

"I see you got a new pet," said Sirius, acting like he didn’t already know.

Remus sat down beside Regulus and held out his freezing hands towards the fire. It had started snowing when they headed home, and Remus’ hair was sticking to his face, dripping from melting snow.

"Yes, he's wonderful, isn't he?" said Regulus. He was in a good mood because of his new friend. "I named him Polaris, after the North Star."

Sirius reached out a hand to scratch Polaris behind the ear. The cat growled and eyed Sirius suspiciously but then seemed to decide that it couldn’t hurt letting the boy pet him.

"I hear you gave Lyra to Remus,” said Sirius. “That’s a very nice gesture, but how come?”

"Because we're not allowed to have more than one animal, you know that, you git."

"I know," Sirius said, still petting Polaris. "But you could just have sent her home. Not that I think it’s a bad idea for you to give her to Remus, it’s just a bit unlike you."

Remus looked from one brother to the other. "Regulus is a nice person and he knows I will take good care of Lyra.”

"Yes, Sirius, why is it unlike me?" asked Regulus, a little offended. "I have always given _you_ good presents, haven't I? I'm not cheap. I even give presents to Kreacher. Something you would never dream of doing."

"Who is Kreacher?" asked Peter. 

"That ghastly house elf at Grimmauld Place," said James. 

"You should remember him, since you've taken pleasure in torturing him on your visits," said Regulus, sending Peter a poisonous gaze. 

"Fine, fine, I get your point," Sirius said and stood up straight. "Come on, lets go get our homework done. McGonagall will skin us if we aren’t done by Monday. “He looked at Remus. “You coming?" 

Remus looked a little hesitant and then shook his head. "No I think I’ll stay and get warmed up. Besides I’m already done with my homework."

When they had left, Regulus glanced at Remus out of the corner of his eye, waiting to see what was on his agenda, knowing he had most likely stayed because he wanted to talk about something. 

"I ... um," Remus started after a moment’s silence. "If you would rather send Lyra home I’ll understand, but I really appreciate that you wanted to give me the chance to take care of her." He smiled over at Regulus nervously and then leaned back, pushing the wet hair out of his eyes.

"I don't want to send her home," said Regulus. "She would just feel like I'm sending her away. She likes living here."

A couple of fifth years came in through the portrait hole and spotted Regulus sitting in the armchair with Polaris on his lap. 

"Hey, what you got there, Little Black? A panther? Merlin, it's nearly bigger than you!"

"Just ignore them," said Remus in a low voice and leaned over to scratch the cat’s head.

One of the boys reached out to touch the cat as well, but Polaris hissed and clawed his hand. "Ouch!" he yelled and pulled his bleeding hand back. "You’re a good pair - he's as mean as you!" he said, scowling at Regulus. 

"He's just smart," snapped Regulus. "He can tell you're a nasty bully."

Remus looked from Regulus to the boy who stood clutching his hand.

"I’m sure Polaris is just being protective of Regulus. Pets often are towards their owners. You should know that from Care of Magical Creatures,” said Remus in a friendly tone. "I believe it was one of the first things we learned."

"Oh, bugger off, Lupin," grumbled the boy. "You stick up for everybody, but you're wasting your energy on that one," he continued, nodding in Regulus' direction. 

"You don't have to defend me," said Regulus when the others had left. "I can look after myself."

"Well," Remus said and sank back into his chair. "I know you can but sometimes it’s nice with someone backing you up."

Regulus was quiet for a few minutes, then said, "Don't you want to see Lyra?"

"I do," beamed Remus and stood up. “Very much!”

"Wait here,” said Regulus. “I'll just put Polaris up in my dorm. Don't want to leave him out for any of those twats to tease."

When he came back down they went outside and headed towards the owlery. It was close to dusk and some of the owls were starting to fly out hunting. Regulus put two fingers to his lips and whistled loudly. A minute later the beautiful hawk owl came flying and landed on his shoulder. 

"Wow," Remus breathed and studied the beautiful bird on the small boy’s shoulder. He gently stroked the owls head and neck, making sure not to ruffle the feathers. "She is really beautiful," he smiled at Regulus. "I hope she will like me. It’s clear that you two have a bond and I feel sorry that you can’t keep her. You can use her for all your letters if you want."

Then Lyra seemed to register what they were talking about and she stared incredulously at Regulus. 

"I just need to talk to her alone, okay?" he said and moved a bit away with the bird, which was now perched on his lower arm. "Remus will be your new Master, Lyra. Not because I don't want you anymore, but Remus is such a kind person and he can't afford his own owl. But he deserves one, so I decided to let him have you - the best owl one can have. I still love you and will be here, close to you."

The bird stared at him, her eyes full of blame. Regulus felt another sting of guilt for giving her away like that, but he knew she would feel even more rejected if he sent her home. Also, Regulus was terribly lonely and he badly needed a friend in Gryffindor tower. Owls were not allowed there, but he could have Polaris there all the time. 

"You will come to love Remus - you'll see. He is very good to animals and he will love you a lot."

The bird still looked very offended when Regulus came back, but she nevertheless hopped onto Remus' forearm. 

"She might be a bit miffed at first," warned Regulus, "but she'll come around. Just give her a bit of time."

Remus nodded, smiling from ear to ear as he admired his new owl. "She can take all the time she needs." He smiled and carefully moved a hand up to touch Lyra, but still offended by changing master, she bit Remus' finger. 

Remus sucked on his finger. "Well, she knows how to use her beak," he smiled. "But it’s quite alright. I hope she’ll come to like me."

"She will. She loves bacon, so if you save some from breakfast you will come a long way with her."

"I’ll bring her some. Well off you go, Lyra. You can go hunt now." Remus' teeth had started to chatter but he kept smiling.

Regulus watched Remus as he sent Lyra off. Regulus couldn't stop watching his face. He was smiling and had a look of admiration in his eyes as he watched the bird fly away to hunt.

_What is wrong with me?_ _Stop looking at him like that! He's going to think you're weird._

Remus turned his head and looked at Regulus with a soft smile. "I don’t know how to thank you enough. I never thought I would get my own owl."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8 – When Are You Going to Get a Boyfriend?**

**Regulus’ 5 th year**

Regulus felt more self-confident when heading back to Hogwarts for his fifth year. He had grown several inches over the summer, and although he was still small for his age and his face rather feminine he thought he actually looked like a teenager now. He hoped that maybe the teasing about his size and looks would decrease. 

To his irritation, his heart started drumming against his ribs when he saw Remus on the station. He had not seen him over the summer, as Mrs. Black no longer allowed Sirius to have his friends over (although she had been happy to let Regulus have Barty visit). 

Remus waved and smiled at the brothers. He noticed that Regulus had grown and thought it suited him well.

"Moonyyyy!" called Sirius as he bounced over to him like a kangaroo. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too, Padfoot," he said and straighten his robes when Sirius let go of him.

"Control yourself, Sirius, will you?" said Regulus irritably. "You’re acting like an idiot."

"Just because you aren’t thrilled to see your friends doesn't mean that I can't be happy to see mine. Mind you, I didn't get to see them all summer."

Regulus just shrugged and left to go find his own compartment. Sitting with the Marauders all the way to Scotland was not very appealing to him. He would end up trying to strangle Peter or James.

"Your brother grew over the summer," said Remus in a casual tone.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "I guess he did. I hadn’t really noticed. I spent most of the summer in my room being mad at my parents for letting him have that wanker Barty Crouch over and me not being allowed to see you lads."

Remus leaned back and closed his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking about how good Regulus looked. He had become very handsome and didn’t look like a child any longer.

"I'm surprised I even survived the summer without seeing Lily," sighed James dramatically. "Three whole months!"

"I'm sure she was pleased to get a break from your constant pestering," grinned Sirius. 

"Oh, just you wait - when she sees me she will realise how much she has missed me and finally come to her senses and go out with me."

"I’m sure that’s the case," said Remus sardonically.

Sirius laughed and put an arm around James' shoulder. "You got fight left in you, Potter. Just keep going and at last she will take you in as a pity case."

"Well, talking about my beautiful flower," said James and got up, "I think I'll go find her!" He came back five minutes later with a red cheek and a dreamy smile on his face. 

"I suppose you found her," grinned Sirius and scooted over to give James room. "Judging from your red cheek she did not approve of your selected method of approach."

"I don't care," grinned James. "She touched me!"

"You're a nutter, Prongs," said Sirius and shook his head.

"What about you, Moony?" asked James. "When are you going to get a boyfriend?"

"Oh... um,” said Remus and blushed a bit. "No one at school knows about me apart from you lads and I'm not sure I dare tell anyone. And I don’t know anyone who’s gay…"

"What about Noel Davies, the Ravenclaw Seeker?" suggested Peter. "I think he's gay."

"Oh, yeah!" said James. "He's sort of handsome - for a bloke - and a Quidditch star. You can't do better than that!"

"I don't even know him," protested Remus, blushing an even deeper shade of red. "I never spoke a word to him so he would think it was weird if I suddenly started talking to him. And what if he _isn't_ gay? I would look like a twat, not to mention my secret would be out to the entire school if he decided to tell on me."

"But he's a Quidditch star," repeated James as if that settled the matter. "And one of us can ask around if he's gay or not and then maybe ask him what kind of blokes are his type.

Remus bit his lip nervously. "All… all right, you can ask around but don't tell anyone about me. And try to be discrete," he said, although knowing that the last request was unrealistic.

To be honest, the only person Remus was really attracted to was Regulus Black, but he was going to keep that to himself. He was Sirius’ younger brother after all. And Regulus was very unlikely to be gay. Undoubtedly, it was not something a real Black would be. And even if he were, someone like Remus would certainly not meet his standards. He would probably go for a handsome pure-blood from Slytherin or perhaps Ravenclaw.

"A Quidditch star..." repeated James thoughtfully. “Who isn't dying to score a Quidditch star?"

"Seriously, Prongs, do _you_ want to date Davies?" laughed Sirius.

"I only love Lily," said James, affronted. "But honestly, lads, how can she say no to this?" he continued, pointing at his own chest. "I mean, Moony - if we weren't friends and all that, wouldn't you think I was the hottest bloke you'd ever seen, when I'm flying around in my Quidditch robes?"

Remus hummed and tapped his chin with a finger. "Your hair is a bit messy for my taste, if I have to be honest."

Sirius and Peter laughed. "There you have it, Prongs," said Sirius. "No one finds your hairdo hot."

"What? I have wicked cool hair!" gasped James, ruffling up his hair the way he always did when Lily was around.

"So I'm more your type, am I?" smirked Sirius, running his fingers through his own straight, shiny hair. 

Remus blushed when watching Sirius. He looked a lot like Regulus so naturally he was Remus’ “type” when it came to looks. "In... in a way, I guess," Remus said, trying to sound like it was not big deal.

Sirius' grin stiffened on his face for a second. 

"Ha! You fancy Padfoot!" grinned Peter.

"O-of course he does," said Sirius. "Every bird does, so why shouldn't Moony?"

Remus gulped and looked down at his hands. "I don’t fancy you, Padfoot. You asked if I found you attractive and I do. It’s not the same thing as fancying you. We’re friends and that’s it. I can’t imagine us going out.”

"So, you don't fancy me at all?" asked Sirius, almost looking insulted.

Remus shook his head, smiling.

"Oh, okay. Good. It would just be a little weird. Not that I would blame you or anything," continued Sirius with a grin. "I mean - look at this!"

James wacked him over the head with a Quidditch magazine. "You're so full of it!"

"Look who's talking!"

**o0o0o**

Regulus found Barty and sat down with him and a couple of other Slytherin. 

Barty grinned and scooted to the side to make room for Regulus.

"Can’t find a seat with your own sort?" asked a bony looking boy with a crew cut.

"I can't help it that you sorry excuse for a wizard is sitting here, can I, Nott?" retorted Regulus. "So I will just have to endure your company. 

“Fuck you, Black,” said the boy.

Regulus ignored it, not interested in starting a fight.

"You grew over the summer, Regulus," smiled the girl sitting by the window and flipped her hair over her shoulder. 

"Well, of course," said Regulus in a more friendly tone. He was glad someone noticed.

"It suits you," she smiled and fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"I think she fancies you, Regulus," grinned Barty and elbowed him in the ribs.

"W-what?" said Regulus, a little taken aback. A girl fancying him? That made him a little uncomfortable. Were they going to start on him now the way they did with Sirius? They looked a lot alike. No, he thought. Sirius was more masculine than he was. Taller, broader and his face masculine. Regulus had always hated how feminine he looked, but if that meant that the girls wouldn't be all over him like with Sirius, then at least it was good for something. He quickly schooled his face into its normal haughty expression. "So, what did you do over the summer?" he asked Barty. 

"My father dragged me to a couple of meetings. He is very determined for me to walk in his footsteps. He doesn’t care about what I want. He doesn’t care about anything but his bloody career, actually. It was boring as hell, I tell you.” Barty pretended to gag and leaned back in his seat. "So my summer was mostly boring. What about you?"

"Well, the only really entertaining part was the few days you came to visit. The rest of the time I had to deal with my horrible brother," Regulus grimaced.

He knew that Sirius was one of the persons most disliked by Slytherin's, and with good reason, to be fair. Sirius wasn't exactly Slytherin friendly. He and James' favourite pastime was harassing Slytherins. Apart from that, he was a blood traitor and proud of it. Some of them saw Regulus as a blood traitor as well for being sorted into Gryffindor, but at least he didn't act as though he was proud of it. 

"I feel sorry for you," said one of the others. "Did he have his horrible friends over as well?"

"They’re bunch of twats," commented Barty. "Potter is a big-headed idiot, and Lupin? Look at his clothes. One should think he found them in a pile of garbage."

Regulus didn't like what Barty said about Remus but he wasn't going to sit there and defend him in Slytherin company. "No, my mother had the good sense to forbid them to visit, so at least I had a break from them all summer."

"I feel sorry for you that you have to share house with them all school year," said Barty and sighed. "Would have been brilliant if you had been in Slytherin."

"Well, obviously the Hat could see that he was a blood traitor by heart," said Nott. 

"I'm sure the Hat could see that _your_  heart was rotten," snapped Regulus, "but since there are no houses that value that trait it had to just pick  _somewhere_ , didn't it?"

Nott shot him a dirty look and narrowed his eyes. "You want to duel?" he growled and got up from his seat.

Regulus snorted. " _You want to duel_? Run out of arguments already so that's all you can come up with? I'm surprised you don't just throw yourself at me like a Muggle. Merlin knows you're as primitive as one."

Nott clenched his teeth and reached for his wand but one of the girls put a hand on his wrist. "You lost us enough house points last year. Do you really have to start again before we even reach Hogwarts?”

Nott sent the girl a mean look but then sat back down. "No, he’s not worth that," he mumbled and looked out the window.

Regulus laughed. "Sour grapes. Or don't you know that expression? I guess not. You've probably never opened a book until you came to Hogwarts."

"I have!" Nott spat and drew his wand, pointing it at Regulus. "One more word out of you and I’ll blast you out of the compartment!"

"Word," said Regulus, his eyes fixed on Nott.

It wasn't just that Nott had offended him today. He was one of the Slytherins who had been on Regulus' back the most for being sorted into Gryffindor, and Regulus had just about had enough. 

**o0o0o**

The Marauders sat talking and joking when they suddenly heard a loud bang from a few compartments down and they all flew up from his seats.

"Someone is duelling," Sirius beamed and they all rushed into the aisle to see what was going on.

To Sirius' surprise he found his little brother in a vigorous battle against a Slytherin student and everyone else were rushing out of the compartment to avoid getting caught in the crossfire.

"Stop it!" shouted Remus, him being the prefect and all, but none of the two reacted and he turned to Sirius who was cheering on his brother. "Don't encourage him!"

"Why not? He’s fighting a Slytherin!"

Nott dodged a hex and Regulus made use of the time to put out a small fire on his own sleeve. Nott's next curse knocked Regulus back, sending him flying into a couple of owl cages. 

The noise from the curses, cheers and angry owl screeches attracted the attention of the whole train. 

Remus reached for his wand but Sirius stopped him. “Better let him have this one. I bet this bloke had it coming."

"But I'm a prefect," protested Remus.

Sirius just sent him a look. "Just give him another minute. Nott deserves everything he can get."

“Your brother could get hurt,” said Remus.

“He’ll be fine,” grinned Sirius. He knew from personal experience that Regulus was an excellent dueller so he wasn’t worried.

Nott was laughing as Regulus got to his feet, but forgot to protect himself. At a yell of "Expelliarmus," his wand flew out of his hand and hit Peter in the eye. Then with a "Levicorpus" Nott was hoisted into the air by his foot. 

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" sounded the Head Boy's angry voice. 

Remus turned his head and quickly pulled out his wand so it looked like he had actually tried to intervene. "Just a little duelling match," said Remus as the Head Boy reached them. "I have told them to stop so everything is under control." He just managed to say it before Nott hit the floor with a loud thump. "N-nothing serious," Remus stuttered.

"What's this? Black? Nott?"

"It's his fault!" hissed Nott furiously, holding a hand to a bump on his head and pointing to Regulus. 

"As I recall it you drew your wand on me," said Regulus calmly. "Did you expect me not to defend myself?" 

"You're a filthy blood traitor," hissed Nott.

"Ten points from each of your houses," said the Head Boy, glowering at them both. “And you travel in separate compartments for the rest of the ride!”

"What do I care?" snorted Regulus. "I'll take them back at next Quidditch game. And what kind of punishment is it to not have to share compartment with _that_?" He pointed at Nott. 

"Ten more points from Gryffindor for your cheek!" spat the Head Boy. 

Remus bit his lip and waved a hand to signal Regulus to stop before he cost Gryffindor more points. He didn’t want Regulus to become even more unpopular.

"Now, one of you leave this compartment!"

"He can leave," spat Nott. “We were here first. The Slytherins. Go back to your own filthy lot!"

Regulus opened his mouth to say something but then caught Remus' eye and decided to not make anymore trouble. "I don't know what I was thinking, anyway, sitting down in a compartment with a brute," he huffed and marched out.

Even though Regulus had lost them twenty points, the Gryffindors were not blaming him. Some even said, "Way to go, Black," or patted his back. Sirius was ecstatic and bragged about his brother’s duelling skills.

Regulus was not at all happy about being a Gryffindor hero so he escaped the other students by sitting down in the Marauders' compartment.

Remus sat down next to Regulus and studied him for a moment. "You burned your sleeve," he said, pointing at the left sleeve. "Did you burn your skin too?"

"Don’t baby him, Remus," grinned Sirius and patted Regulus' knee. "You sure are surprising your old brother at times. I knew you were a good dueller, just never thought you would duel a Slytherin!"

"I didn't fight him because he's Slytherin, I did it because he's a bloody twat." Now that Remus said it, Regulus noticed that his lower arm was actually smarting quite a lot. He rolled down his sleeve and saw that there was a flaring red mark on his wrist. 

Remus carefully took a hold of Regulus’ hand to examine the burn. "You should probably see Madam Pomfrey when we arrive," he said. "It's not a bad burn but it probably stings a lot."

Sirius leaned over to look. "That's not so bad.”

"No, it isn’t,” agreed Regulus. His wrist actually hurt quite a lot, but he didn't know any healing spells and he was too proud to ask the others about it.

Remus looked at James. ”Hey, Prongs – don’t you have something for the pain?" He knew James’ mother was quite a mother hen and she always equipped him with a large selection of potions and other healing items.

"I'm fine, thank you very much," said Regulus. 

James sighed and dug into his bag. He pulled out a jar and handed it to Regulus. "Here. Murtlap essence. That should help."

Regulus eyed James a little sceptically and then hesitantly took the jar. 

"It's not poison, you know," James said, a little annoyed.

"I wouldn't put it past you," mumbled Regulus and carefully applied some of the murtlap to his wrist. 

He let out a sigh as the ointment immediately soothed his burning skin. Still, he just shrugged. “It didn't hurt that much but I guess it did help a bit..."

"Well, that’s good," said Remus, smiling kindly at Regulus.

Regulus gulped and looked out the window. He could still feel Remus' eyes on him. Why did he have to feel like this around Remus? He was afraid it would show; that they would notice and guess how he was feeling. Nobody could ever know. Regulus could not be gay - it simply was not an option. His parents might literally kill him and besides, it would be horribly embarrassing. No. It was something he could never act on. Not with Remus, not with anybody. Hopefully if he ignored it long enough it would go away and he would start to become interested in girls. Maybe he wasn't actually gay, and this thing he had for Remus was an exception.

  **o0o0o**

They got off the train a few hours later. It was pouring down and the students raced each other to the carriages that stood waiting for them. Remus offered Regulus to ride with them since he had been told to stay away from Nott and he was with Barty and his friends. Regulus grudgingly accepted, but as he was getting in, he slipped on the step and fell back against Remus who stood behind him.

Remus caught him by the shoulders. "You okay?"

Regulus stiffened for a second, then pulled away as if he had been burned. "Fine," he mumbled and shook Remus’ hands off him, then hurried into the carriage. He had to get away from Remus. As soon as they arrived at the castle he would give them the slip. 

Remus felt a little hurt by Regulus’ reaction. Did he find it revolting to be touched by him? Had he noticed Remus eying him up and it had made him uncomfortable?

Regulus let Polaris out from his cage once they were all inside the carriage. James eyed him sceptically and warned Regulus to keep him under control. Polaris had had a go at both him and Peter several times before. The cat curled up in a ball on Regulus' lap and purred as he scratched it behind the ear. Without thinking, Remus leaned over and pet the cat on its head. He and Polaris had always gotten along well and the cat rubbed its head against Remus’ hand, purring even louder.

"Why does it like Remus and not me?" asked James. "I never did anything to it."

"I guess I’m just good with animals," said Remus.

"True," grinned Sirius. "And Reggie is better friends with Remus than you so that might have something to do with it."

"I just don't dislike Lupin as much as Potter," said Regulus stiffly, suddenly afraid they would get the idea that he liked Remus _too_ much. 

"You're such a twat, you know that?" said James, looking coldly at Regulus. It didn't bother him that Regulus said he disliked him. The feeling was mutual. But seeing Remus' hurt face made him mad. 

"If you think I give a toss what you think, Potter, you're more conceited than I thought," said Regulus pointedly.

Remus leaned back in his seat and gazed out the window. So Regulus only disliked him less than James. Who was he kidding, anyway? Regulus didn’t like anyone and why would a proud pure-blood like him ever see anything in a poor half-blood? 

"Put a sock in it, Regulus," said Sirius, shooting daggers at his brother.

Regulus noticed Lyra, who was sitting in her cage at Remus' feet, staring at him reproachfully, clearly angry that Regulus would talk ill of her new master, whom she had come to be very fond of. Regulus quickly looked away and stared hard out the window, not speaking another word for the rest of the journey. 

**o0o0o**

At the feast Remus’ eyes landed on Davies who he could just make out from his seat. Davies sat talking and laughing with his house mates. It occurred to Remus that he didn’t know anything about him. The only thing he knew was that he was Ravenclaw’s Seeker. He knew nothing about him as a person. Was he friendly? Open-minded? Stuck up? Mean?

James did not waste any time. When dessert was served he squeezed his way in between Davies and the person sitting next to him, under the pretence of wanting to talk about the Quidditch season. James had been made captain last year.

"So," he said in a chitchat tone. "Are the rumours that you're gay true?"

Davies studied him for a moment. "Yes, that's no secret. Why? Are you hitting on me?"

James choked and then forced a laugh. "No, mate, I only have eyes for the lovely Lily."

"Yes, I know. The whole school knows. Then why do you ask?"

James looked around. None of the nearby students seemed to be paying attention to them so he leaned in and asked in a low voice, "So what's your type? And are you single?"

Davies eyed him a little suspiciously. "Yes, I'm single. Hogwarts isn’t exactly full of gay blokes." He then looked around as well for a moment before returning his gaze to James. "I like a type that isn't too forward. People who are full of themselves are not really me so you can see why I’m not interested in you. Why do you ask?"

"Well, then I have just the right bloke for you! But you have to promise not to blow his cover. He still in the closet."

"Of course," said Davies, looking interested. 

"Well, it's my friend, Remus. You know, Lupin."

Davies looked surprised and gazed at the Gryffindor table where he spotted Remus sitting with red ears, staring down at his trifle.

"Lupin? He's gay? Well, I guess he’s sort of cute."

"He's definitely not full of himself and he's very nice," said James. Then he got up. "Well, if you're interested you should go talk to him sometime, because Remus is probably too shy to come to you."

"He thinks you're sort of cute!" beamed James as soon as the dorm door closed behind them. 

**o0o0o**

"W-what?” blushed Remus and looked at James with wide eyes. "He does?" Remus looked at himself in the mirror at the end wall. Davies thought he was cute? There was nothing cute about him that he could see. "W-what did he say?"

"Something offensive about  _me_  not being his type," snorted James, "and that he like quieter, modest blokes. Then I pointed you out and he thought you were cute! Although," he added, "you might be a bit wary of him. He might not be completely right in the head. I mean - I wasn't his type?"

"It's probably the hair," grinned Sirius. He ducked to avoid the smack James was aiming at his head and turned to Remus. "So now you just got to go for it, Moony.”

"I can't do that," said Remus, looking a little shocked. "I don't know what I was thinking. What am I supposed to say to him about my three days a month? What if he asks questions? He will start to wonder.”

"Moony, take it easy," said Sirius and rolled his eyes. "Birds have seven days a month where they go loopy so you being away and sick three days will not be noticed. Just tell him what you tell everyone else. That you have a poor immune system."

"But... it always happens around the full moon and if we get close he’s bound to notice."

"Don't worry about that now!" said Sirius. "Who says you're going to marry the bloke? Mate, I've had three girlfriends and haven't gotten serious with anyone yet."

"Yeah, and _if_ you get serious at some point, don't you think you'll want him to know, anyway? And if he's a nice lad he won't mind. Or at least he won't rat on you. He's not a Slytherin, after all," said James. 

**o0o0o**

"Hey, why don't you come down to watch Quidditch practice tonight?" suggested James the next day as he put on his training equipment. Ravenclaw had the pitch right after Gryffindor, so James thought it was the perfect excuse for Remus to get near Davies. If Davies wanted to get in contact with Remus this would give him a good opportunity. 

Remus looked a little hesitant but then nodded. He looked over at Sirius and Peter. "You lot coming as well?"

Sirius nodded and slung an arm around Peter. "But if Davies comes to talk to you then we’ll disappear so he can have you on his own."

Regulus trailed along at a distance behind the Marauders as he too went down to the pitch. He wasn't in a mood to be chummy with them. He still felt the need for some distance after the episode in the train the day before. He always got uncomfortable and a bit confused when something happened that made him look like a good Gryffindor. On one hand it made him feel good to be praised by his house mates - like when he caught the Snitch in a match - but at the same time it made him uneasy, because he didn't belong there, and he did not want others (especially his family) to think he felt at home in Gryffindor. 

Sirius, Remus and Peter placed themselves on the stands and watched as James gave out instructions. Remus' eyes were on Regulus. He looked so good in his robes, standing there with his broom and listing to what James had to say. Remus shook his head and sighed. Why couldn't he just stop looking at him? The boy didn't like him back, not even as a friend. He only disliked him less than James and that was pretty much telling Remus that he didn't like him at all.

"Here comes your boy," snickered Sirius, elbowing Remus and nodded towards some of the Ravenclaw players who had come to watch the practice.

Davies didn't seem to be paying any attention to Remus although he and his team weren't standing too far away. Sirius noticed Remus looking both nervous and a little disappointed. But as the Gryffindors got off their brooms and the Ravenclaw team headed down from the stands, Noel lingered, pretending to be tying his laces. 

Sirius tugged at Peter's sleeve and got him to follow him off the stands. "Good luck," he mouthed to Remus as they went. 

With Remus now sitting on his own, Davies casually walked over to him. "Hi. You're Remus, right?"

Remus looked up at him and gulped. "Y-yes, I'm Remus." He looked over his shoulder quickly at Sirius who gave him a quick thumbs up before running down to James who stood on the pitch and was about to leave. "Nice to m-meet you," he stuttered and took a deep breath to settle his nerves.

"I'm Noel. If you didn't know."

"I know,” Remus smiled nervously. “I’ve seen you around."

"You have, have you?" Davies smiled and tilted his head while looking at him and it made Remus blush slightly.

"Y-yeah... I have seen you play and such," Remus said and tried to keep his voice steady.

"So Potter talked about you the other day... Did you know?"

Remus gulped and nodded. 

"So… want to go on a date? We've got Hogsmeade weekend coming up."

Remus looked surprised and smiled. "Y-yes, I'd love to."

"Noel!" called one of the others from the Ravenclaw team. "Come on, mate!"

"Brilliant," smiled Davies. "I'll see you then."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 – “Leave Him Hanging”**

Noel was waiting for Remus in the entrance hall on Saturday. He smiled and waved him over. 

"There he is. Go! We'll see you later," said James excitedly and gave Remus a nudge. 

"Hi," said Noel. "Ready to go?"

Remus glanced over his shoulder at his friends and then back at Noel. "Y-yes I’m ready," he said and adjusted his robes.

They small-talked a little as they walked and then Noel asked, "So you're not out yet. How come?"

Remus shrugged. "I guess I don’t know how to just come out and tell people. I don’t know how they’ll react or if I would be able to handle them making fun of me. I figured maybe it would be easier to come out if I had someone to lean on. Someone other than friends. I guess they wouldn’t be able to tell me I wasn’t good enough for anyone if I already had a boyfriend." He sent Noel a nervous smile and gulped. Did it even make sense?

“Well, you've got some bloody good friends, don't you? I mean, Potter, Black and... what's the short one's name?"

"Peter Pettigrew," said Remus. He knew Peter was the least noticeable of the four, always trailing behind the others, especially James and Sirius. 

"Yes. Well, Black and Potter at least are very popular, except with the Slytherins, of course, so do you think people would give you too hard a time?"

"Well," started Remus and thought about it for a moment. "I suppose that’s true... They’ve always had my back." He kicked a stone and watched it carefully as it skipped along the road. He was too shy to look at Noel for more than a few seconds at a time.

"Well, I'm glad you agreed to go out with me," smiled Noel, trying to make eye contact. "You've never dated anyone before?"

Remus shook his head. "No, that’s the downside of being gay in secrecy."

"Me, I had a boyfriend last year, a seventh year Hufflepuff, and I fooled around a bit with someone when I was on fifth year. And then I've been on a few dates."

"You’re a lot more experienced than me, then," said Remus, getting even more nervous. What if Noel was put off by his lack of experience?

"Don't worry about it. I don't mind that you're new at this."

**o0o0o**

In Hogsmeade Regulus noticed the three Marauders go into The Three Broomsticks and he decided to follow them. "Where's Remus?" he asked, sitting down at their table uninvited. 

"What do you care?" asked Sirius, eying his brother in surprise. "I thought you disliked him so what does it matter to you what he is doing?"

"It's just that you four are always attached at the hips. Why isn't he with you? Is he ill again?"

"No," said Sirius. "He’s just... hanging out with someone else at the moment." He exchanged looks with James and grinned.

"Oh, okay. So is he joining you later?"

The young barmaid, Rosmerta, came over to the table just then. She was rather good looking and Sirius immediately struck up a splendid smile and flipped his hair over his shoulder. 

Regulus rolled his eyes.

"So what are you gentlemen having?" she asked, smiling back at Sirius. 

"Four butter beers," said Sirius, resting his chin on his palm. “Be a dear and get us those?"

The barmaid giggled and nodded before strolling off towards the bar.

Sirius turned to Regulus. "Hopefully Remus doesn’t need to join us later. He will probably meet us back at Gryffindor Tower. Why? Do you need him for something?"

"No," said Regulus quickly. "Just wondering. You lot might be up to no good. Maybe you had plans for a prank so low that he didn't want part of it. He is by far the most mature of you."

"No pranks plans. We’re just enjoying the day." Sirius wondered for a moment why Regulus suddenly spoke so positively of Remus. Just the other day he had given him the cold shoulder and here he was, complementing him. 

Rosmerta came back with four butterbeers. Then she noticed Regulus. "Oh, you've brought you little brother along. I can see the resemblance."

Regulus pressed his lips together, unable to decide if he was offended or flattered. On one hand he did not want to be compared to Sirius, on the other, it was nice that someone thought he was handsome - which was obviously what she meant.

"Ah, yes," said Sirius and sent her a smirk. "He still has some growing up to do but he will get there in time." He handed out the butter beers and placed one in front of Regulus. "Drink up," he grinned and took a sip of his own.

"Careful you don't get him drunk," grinned James at his friend.

"Only house elves get drunk from butterbeer. The alcohol percentage is really low," commented Peter.

"Well, there isn't a lot of weight to handle the alcohol, is there?" James sniggered. 

Regulus grinded his teeth, glowering at James. "Is that the best you can do? Offending me with my size? How very original, Potter," he said and took a very large swig from his glass.

The door opened and Remus walked in with Noel. Remus spotted his friends and sent them a nervous smile before he and Noel went to sit at a table in the back.

Regulus’ eyes opened wide. "What's he doing with Davies?"

"Hanging out," said Sirius and craned his neck to spy on Remus and Noel.

Regulus looked at his brother and then back at Remus and Davies. There was something not quite right here. What were they doing? Maybe it had something to do with books or studying. Maybe they had some kind of project together. 

When Noel had gone up to the bar Remus caught a glimpse of Regulus sitting at his friends’ table. He quickly looked down and sighed. He still got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever he saw him, but he just had to get over himself. Regulus was out of reach. Noel wasn’t, and Remus needed to focus his attention on him.

**o0o0o**

After finishing his butterbeer Regulus went to the bookstore to browse. He liked books and reading was one of the only sources of entertainment he had in his loneliness in Gryffindor tower. Half an hour later he left the store and decided to see if he could find Barty so he wouldn't have to walk home on his own. As he passed a small alley he noticed two figures standing close together at the far end and stopped dead in his tracks as he recognized Remus and Davies. 

"I'm having quite a good time," said Noel, taking a step closer to Remus. 

Remus gulped and looked up at him, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks. "Me too, Noel." He really had enjoyed himself and it had not been as scary as he had feared. No one had stared at them, unless you counted his friends.

"Can..." said Noel, looking Remus in the eyes. "Can I kiss you?"

Remus felt his ears burn red and nodded with a gulp.

Regulus watched Davies lean in closer and... _what?_  They were _kissing_? He could barely believe his own eyes. Yes, they were indeed kissing. Regulus felt something stir up inside him, making his stomach feel weird. Then he tore his eyes away from the couple and marched off towards the castle, forgetting everything about finding Barty.

**o0o0o**

Remus came back to the castle a good hour later. Sirius, James and Peter sat at a table doing their homework and they all looked up as he walked in.

"Hello, Moony," said Sirius in a cheeky voice, his lip curled into a smile. "You were certainly gone for a long time…"

Remus blushed and sat down across from James. "Well, er..." he started, not knowing exactly what to say. He and Noel had stayed in the ally for some time and had continued kissing until Remus almost couldn’t tell up from down. 

Regulus was sitting at the next table, reading. When Remus came in looking all flustered and happy, Regulus could feel anger smouldering in his stomach. He slammed his book shut and left the common room without a word. 

Remus looked a little puzzled in the direction Regulus had disappeared. "What was that about?"

"Time of the month, I reckon," shrugged Sirius.

"What happened? Are you lads dating?" pressed James.

"I, um," Remus said and smiled nervously. "I don’t know, but he kissed me."

"Way to go, Moony!" whooped James and slapped Remus on the back. "When are you going to see him again?"

"Tomorrow. He has Quidditch practice so I’m going down to watch."

**o0o0o**

It was beautiful weather the next afternoon so Regulus decided to go for a training flight on the grounds. As he zoomed around he noticed that Ravenclaw were practicing at the pitch, so he turned his broom and flew closer to get a look. As he hovered in the air at the edge of the stadium he suddenly noticed Remus sitting on the stands. Alone. Since when did Remus watch Quidditch practice on his own? If he went to watch one of the other teams it was always with the other Marauders. He simply wasn’t that interested in Quidditch. Regulus flew a little closer without getting noticed. Remus was smiling and his eyes were glued to the Seeker.  _Davies_. Of course. Regulus narrowed his eyes. He had never realised how much of a wanker Davies actually was. He was a bad Seeker too. What did Remus see in him?

Suddenly Regulus realised that Remus had spotted him and he quickly rose higher on his broom as he started to coast slowly along the perimeter of the stadium as if he was just curiously checking out the practice. He hoped Remus hadn't recognised him from below. He was glad that he was not wearing his bright red Quidditch robes but just his regular black ones, so it wasn't obvious from a distance that he was a Gryffindor. 

When practice ended Remus stood up and smiled at Noel who came towards him with his broom over his shoulder. Noel leaned in to place a soft kiss on Remus' lips and brushed a bit of hair out of his eyes. He noticed Remus taking a quick look around. "Why are you so nervous that someone will see? You said you would be okay with coming out when you had a boyfriend."

Remus looked at him a little startled and his eyes widened. "Y-yes I did, but… I wasn’t sure if we were really going out.”

"Well, I thought I had made it rather clear that I wanted to go out with you. I sort of thought you felt the same."

Regulus watched discretely from a distance. Davies was crowding Remus again. Surely Remus could not be interested in someone this pushy? 

"Of course I feel the same way," said Remus. "I’m just a little insecure so I wasn’t sure if you wanted to.”

"So we're a couple then?" smiled Noel and took Remus' hand.

Remus smiled and nodded. "Yes we are.”

**o0o0o**

"You look happy," grinned James when Remus came in through the portrait hole half an hour later, looking flustered and smiling widely. "So your date went well, I take it?"

"Quite well," grinned Remus and sat down beside his friends. "He asked me to be his boyfriend."

"Good for you, Moony!” said Sirius and patted Remus hard on the back. “He’s a great catch. If you’re into blokes, that is."

Regulus came back a little later and went to change and get his homework. Then he went downstairs again and seated himself semi-close to the Marauders, hoping to eavesdrop in case they talked about Davies. Polaris had followed him from the dormitory and curled up in Regulus' lap as soon as he sat down.  

"So what about you and him, then?" asked Sirius. "Are you going to be in a secret relationship or what?"

"Well," said Remus and rubbed his arm. "Noel promised to help me with being more open about it so I suppose I’ll be coming out..."

James jumped to his feet and climbed onto the back of his armchair. "Can I make the announcement?"

"What?" exclaimed Remus, eying James in shock. "N-no! Not like that!" he begged. He had counted on it just happening automatically when he and Noel held hands and such in public. He wasn’t keen on James shouting it out all over Gryffindor tower.

"Ah, come on, Moony. We've been keeping your secret for so long - let me tell it!"

"B-but what are you going to say?" Remus asked nervously and looked around at the other Gryffindors who watched them curiously. Remus' eyes landed on Regulus for a split second and he dreaded for him to find out for some reason.

"What are you pestering poor Remus about now, Potter?" sounded Lily's accusatory voice. "Can't you see you're making him uncomfortable? Oh, right, of course you can't. You've got no regard for others peoples' feelings whatsoever."

"Lily, my sweet Lily," beamed James. "I  _do_  care about other people's feelings. And I'm just helping Moony out - he's a little shy to tell it himself, so why shouldn't I help him?"

"And I suppose announcing it all over Gryffindor tower is the way to go?" she said and tapped her foot. "And not just let Remus tell it himself?"

James pretended not to hear her. "So, Moony, what do you say?"

"You look like a peacock, Potter, standing up there, strutting your feathers!" said Regulus who couldn't keep quiet any longer. "And it's fitting, because peacocks have incredibly small brains."

"I... I don’t know, Prongs," said Remus. But then he thought that he might as well rip off the plaster. "A-alright but don’t make a big deal out of it."

Lily sent James a death glare and sat down, her arms crossed. 

"Listen up, fellow Gryffindors," shouted James, swinging his arm, enjoying the attention everyone was showing him. "I have an announcement. One that might make several of you poor birds break down in tears. Our dear Remus would like to let it be known that he is gay, and that he has indeed a new boyfriend."

Remus dropped his head in embarrassment and stared a hole in the table.

The Gryffindors looked taken aback and a few boys looked like they had been kicked in the stomach by a horse.

"Oh, how wonderful for him," a girl said. “Who is the lucky guy?"

"Who cares," said a boy. "It’s sort of gross if you ask me."

"Shut your fat face, Brown," barked Sirius. "As if your last girlfriend was delicious. Or was it even a girl? I always wondered if she wasn't part troll."

"Remus, on the other hand," continued James, still perched on top of the back of the chair, "has scored no other than Ravenclaw Seeker, Noel Davies!"

Brown snorted but didn’t say anything else. Getting into a fight with Sirius Black was not something to be taken lightly.

"Oh, he’s handsome," beamed a girl and a few others joined in, giggling. "Good for you, Remus!"

Regulus was staring harder and harder at his open book, as though trying to drill a hole in it, pretending to be completely uninterested in what James was saying. 

"Davies will be pleased now," smiled Sirius. "Now one house knows, at least."

“Which means that every house will know in five minutes,” said Peter.

**o0o0o**

News travels fast at Hogwarts and by the next morning nearly everybody knew. At breakfast Remus got a lot of attention, both positive and negative. Most Hufflepuffs were nice about it and most Ravenclaws were sympathetic, since they felt they had part in it too, Davies being very popular in their house. Slytherin, to no surprise, were gleeful to get new ammunition to bully a Gryffindor with. 

"Hey, Davies," Rosier shouted across the table. "Don't expect a diamond ring anytime soon. Or ever. The most he could afford is one made of plastic!"

"Yeah," Nott grinned. “Maybe he will to take you down to the junk yard for Christmas to meet his parents. Get you a nice rubbish present wrapped in newspaper."

James and Sirius simultaneously jumped to their feet, shouting insults at Nott and Rosier. 

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" sounded the Head Girl, this year a Hufflepuff. "EVERYBODY SIT DOWN!"

"Blimey," said Peter and whistled. "That bird is as tough as Evans!"

"Bloody snakes should learn to mind their own business," growled Sirius, sitting back down. "And the Head Girl too." He swung an arm around Remus' shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Don’t pay any attention to that lot. They just want to upset you. That’s all."

"Well it’s working," mumbled Remus.

"Don't worry about them," said Noel to Remus as they met up after breakfast. "It's always like that when you're gay. There are always some people who have a problem with it, and a few of those get nasty. You're just going to have to get used to it. Ignore them and don't let their words hurt you. And the news will soon get old."

Remus nodded but hung his head. He supposed Noel was right. He would just have to get used to it now that his secret was out. He reached out and took Noel's hand, intertwining their fingers.

**o0o0o**

As Regulus was making his way through the caste towards the Great Hall for lunch he suddenly heard someone laughing and someone else pleading and whimpering. He stopped a little further on and peeked down a small corridor to his right. There was someone - Nigel, he realised - hanging by his robes on one of the torch holders on the wall. Nott and Wilkes were standing below, laughing and taunting him. 

"What should we do with him, Jake?" asked Nott loudly. Stun him and leave him to hang? Or strip off his clothes?"

" _\- and_ leave him hanging!" finished Wilkes. 

"No, no," whimpered Nigel. "Please. Please don't! I promise I won't tell anyone if you'll just let me go!"

"Well, that's no fun, is it?" drawled Nott.

Regulus debated with himself whether he should intervene or mind his own business. It was just Nigel, after all. He was a pain in the bum and besides the Slytherins weren't going to hurt him badly, were they? He took a few hesitant steps forward, continuing his own way, but then stopped as he heard Wilkes say:

"Let's practice the stinging curse!”

Regulus froze. The stinging curse made the skin burn and swell. It was rather painful. He heard Nigel cry out in fear, begging them to stop. Regulus whipped out his wand and jumped forward, stunning Nott before they even realised that he was there. He shot another stunner at Wilkes, but missed as the Slytherin managed to duck. After a short intense battle between the two, Regulus disarmed the Slytherin who set off running. 

Nigel watched Regulus with huge eyes. He was still shaking slightly. "You saved me," he beamed, still hanging by his robes. "T-thank you for saving me!" As Regulus turned to walk away, Nigel called for him. "Could you help me down?"

Regulus stopped, sighing, then released Nigel with a swish of his wand.

"Thank you, Regulus," beamed Nigel as he picked up his wand that had been tossed on the floor. "I’m going to tell everyone of your heroic deed. Everyone should know how you defeated them and saved me when no one else did. Two at a time! With no trouble at all!"

"No, don't do that!" snarled Regulus. "I only helped you because I hate bullies, and they were really not that hard to deal with. So don't make a big deal of it, okay?" He hurried down the corridor, walking as quickly and he could without breaking into a run. 

**o0o0o**

When Regulus entered the common room after his last class he could hear Nigel's high pitched voice talking eagerly about the incident with Nott and Wilkes. Nigel let out a shriek of excitement when he spotted Regulus in the doorway. 

"Hi, Regulus," he beamed innocently. "Sorry, but I just had to tell my friends how incredible you were!"

"Well done, little brother," grinned Sirius.

"That was a really nice thing you did," smiled Remus.

Regulus stood there for a moment, not sure what to do. The attention made him uneasy, and he didn't want to be anybody's hero. He could handle being disliked and unpopular. He was used to that and strangely comfortable with it. "It's nothing," he mumbled. "I just taught a pair of wankers a lesson."

"It was still a nice thing to do," Remus repeated.

"You saved me," beamed Nigel. "You could have walked away but you didn't, because you’re so good and brave!"

"I said, it's nothing," growled Regulus and plopped down in an armchair by the fireplace. 

Remus went over to Regulus. "Are you okay?" he asked in a gentle voice and sat down in a chair across from him. The boy looked irritated and Remus couldn't understand why he would put his neck on the line for someone and then act as if he was regretting it.

"Why wouldn't I be okay? I kicked _their_ arse, not the other way around," snapped Regulus, not meeting Remus' gaze. 

"I don't know. You just seem upset," said Remus. "I just wanted to make sure."

"Stop being so bloody worried about me. I'm not a child. I can look after myself."

Why wouldn't Remus just leave him alone? Instead of pestering him and showing false affection when the only one he really cared about was that retard of a Ravenclaw. 

"I... I was just wondering, because I care," Remus mumbled and sank deeper into his chair. Why was Regulus being so cold to him? 

Regulus ignored him and stared into the fire.

"So, Regulus," asked Candice Seabourne, who was sitting close by. "How did you get the best of Nott and... who was the other one?"

Regulus sighed. Evidently he wasn't going to get away with just ignoring what had happened. "Wilkes. It was Nott and Wilkes. I stunned Nott and disarmed Wilkes and then he legged it, the coward."

"That’s quite impressive. You should be proud of yourself."

"So, what did you do with Nott?" asked Hestia Jones who had been busy swapping chocolate frog cards with Peter. 

In spite of himself, Regulus felt a small grin appear on his lips. "I left him there. I suppose someone will stumble over him eventually."

They all looked at each other and started to laugh. 

"Most will probably just step over him," grinned Sirius. "Brilliant job, little brother."

Candice studied Regulus admiringly and leaned forward, resting her chin on her palms. "Yes, that was brilliant, Regulus."

Remus noticed how she fluttered her eyelashes at the younger Black. He felt a sting to his chest but tried to ignore it and just look away. He was with Noel, not Regulus. Why should he care who flirted with him?

Regulus suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He hated when girls looked at him that way. Usually the girls from Gryffindor knew him well enough to keep their distance, but some of the girls from the other houses had been more direct in their flirting lately and some had even asked him out. He would usually chase them off by saying something offensive or that he wasn't a younger copy of his brother and they better go pester him instead. So now he went back to staring into the fire, hoping that Candice would stop talking to him if he ignored her. 

**o0o0o**

The day after the full moon Noel came over to the Gryffindor table at lunch and asked where Remus was. 

"He's ill," said Regulus. "And obviously he didn't care enough about you to tell you, so it really isn't your business, is it? Why don't you go back to your own table?"

Noel raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes, he’s ill," said Sirius and shot his brother a glare. "He fell ill last night and was taken to the infirmary. He’s probably sleeping and that’s why you haven’t heard from him."

"Is... Is it serious?" asked Noel worriedly.

"No. Madam Pomfrey says he just needs a few days’ rest," said Sirius.

"Well, I'll go visit him after lessons, then," said Noel and turned to leave. 

"Hey, mate..." said James. “Maybe you shouldn't. I think Remus would be a bit embarrassed about you seeing him like that, you two being so new and all. But you could write a card or something and we'll give it to him. I know he'll appreciate that. 

"You think he would be embarrassed to see me?” asked Noel. “I don’t care how he looks. I just want to make sure he’s alright."

James and Sirius exchanged looks.

"Maybe you can see him tomorrow. We can ask him if he’s alright with that. But write him a card now and we’ll make sure he gets it, alright?"

When Noel had left, James turned to Regulus. "What was that about? I know there are many people you don’t like, but what’s your particular problem with Davies?"

Regulus shrugged. "He's just nosy and annoying. He should stick to his own bloody house."

"Since when have you been so fond of Gryffindor? First you give Nott and Wilkes a working over and now this?"

"Because Nott and Wilkes are a couple of gits and Ravenclaws are so bloody annoying!"

"Do you feel threatened because he’s their Seeker? Scared about the upcoming match?” asked Sirius.

Regulus snorted into his pumpkin juice. “Of course not. We will win, no problem. A sack of potatoes could fly better than Davies."

**o0o0o**

A few days later Remus was on his feet again. In the common room he announced that he was going down to watch Noel practice. 

"So you're supporting Ravenclaw now?" asked Regulus stiffly. “And you call yourself a Gryffindor..."

Remus looked a little taken aback. "I… I just want to watch him play. I haven’t seen him for three days.”

"I just think it's strange that you support another team when two of your friends play for your own," grumbled Regulus.

"I will always support Gryffindor. I just want to see my boyfriend. James has no problem with me dating Noel even if he is from Ravenclaw. Why do you?" Then it struck him what Regulus had said. "You consider me your friend?"

Er..." said Regulus, suddenly realising what he had said. "I guess…” he mumbled.

Remus rubbed his arm nervously. "Well, I consider you my friend but I wasn’t sure if you did. But… I don’t understand why you are so upset with me? I am not giving Ravenclaw secret information or anything. I just want to go see Noel because he’s my boyfriend and he’s practicing today.”

"Well, so are we. Do you come and watch us every time we practise?"

"Regulus, that's enough!" said Sirius. "Why are you so bloody mean to Remus? He's never been anything but kind to you!"

"I'm not mean. Just asking some questions."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at his brother. "It's more of an interrogation!"

"Whatever," mumbled Regulus and got up to leave. “I have homework to do."

"What's his bloody problem?" asked James when Regulus had left. "Why has he become so angry and nasty all of a sudden? I mean he used to be like that, but things have been better for a good while. Last year he was almost friendly. And what’s with the sudden house-loyalty?"

"I have no bloody idea," said Sirius, going over to place a hand on Remus' shoulder. "Don’t let him get to you, mate. He can be such a prat sometimes, you know that. It isn’t your fault.”

**o0o0o**

Regulus couldn't stop imagining Remus clapping and cheering while stupid Davies showed off on his Comet 180 (which was, for the record, a lousy broom). So Regulus went down to the pitch half an hour earlier than his team mates to spy. 

Regulus watched the practise from afar, mounted on his broom. He saw Davies catch the Snitch once and let it go again, to eager applause from Remus. Show-off. That's what he was. Ravenclaws weren't known for being show-offs, but Regulus reckoned there were always exceptions to the rule.

When the other Gryffindor players started arriving, Regulus thought he could fly closer to the pitch without looking suspicious. He drifted all the way to the edge of the stadium where he stopped to hover, getting the best view he could of both the Ravenclaw players and Remus, who was positioned not far below.

And then it was suddenly there - the Snitch. It flew right by Regulus’ nose and mostly by reflex his hand shot out and snatched it. 

Davies flew over to Regulus with a puzzled expression on his face. "Hey, Black!" he called. "You’re not supposed to catch the Snitch until you lads practice. It’s still mine. Great catch though, I must admit. I’m going to have my work cut out for me at our match."

Remus had gotten up from his seat and watched the two, hoping there wouldn't be trouble again. It was clear to him that Regulus didn't like Noel for some reason.

Regulus was taken by surprise by Davies' reaction. Bugger. He had wanted to throw some offensive comments Davies' way about not being able to catch the Snitch over someone who wasn't even trying, but here he was _complimenting_ Regulus. Still baffled, he just nodded and let the Snitch go.

**o0o0o**

"So, do you want to go for a walk around the lake?" asked Davies after practice. "I mean, the weather's great, and we could have some alone time.”

"Um… M-maybe we can watch Gryffindor play for a half hour and then go? I’d really love to go with you but I haven’t seen them practice for a couple of weeks now and I want to support my house… Would that be okay? Just half an hour."

"So, who do you think's going to win next Saturday, then?" asked Noel as they sat and watched James gesticulating in the air and commanding people around like a field general. 

"Um…" started Remus and sent him a nervous smile. What was he supposed to say? If he said Gryffindor then Noel might get upset but if he said Ravenclaw, then his own house would be disappointed in him if they found out. At least Regulus would. "I think it’s going to be a close call. Both teams are brilliant, and you’re really a good Seeker but so is Regulus."

"What's up with that bloke, though? Sirius' brother. He's a little weird, if you don't mind my saying."

"He is just having a hard time fitting in, I reckon," Remus said and watched as the team flew into the air to start their practice. "But he can be really nice if he wants to so I don’t think you should take what he says too seriously." Remus turned to Noel and took his hand, wanting to show some affection towards his boyfriend. He didn’t feel like talking about Regulus.

**o0o0o**

Regulus had a hard time concentrating, knowing that Remus was sitting with Davies on the tribune. He kept casting glances down there and about the tenth time he looked he saw that they were kissing. He forgot everything around him until he heard a scream. He turned his head just in time to avoid colliding with Chaser, Alessandra Shafiq. 

"Watch where you’re going!" spat Shafiq and swung around her broom to hover in the air. "Keep your head in the game, Black!"

"Sorry," mumbled Regulus. "I was keeping my eye on a Bludger," he lied. 

"Well, look where you’re going," said Shafiq and sped off again.

"My brother sure isn’t into the game today," said Sirius who had placed himself with Peter on another tribune.

"He's just so weird," said Peter, shaking his head. "You would think he's a girl with all those mood swings, you know? Maybe he actually started having periods."

Sirius eyed Peter for a moment, grinning and then turned his attention back to the pitch. "Tell him that and you will fly out the window. Without a broom.”

Peter laughed but then stopped, looking a little nervous. "Seriously... Don't tell him I said that, okay?"

"I won’t unless I need a good laugh."

Remus broke the kiss after a few minutes to catch his breath. It felt good to see Noel again. He leaned in and rested his head against his shoulder. He hoped that Regulus was too busy with practice to notice them because to be fair, Remus had not paid much attention to practice for more than ten minutes.

"Black!" called Shafiq. "Keep your head in the game and your eyes on the Snitch!"

"SHUT YOUR BLOODY MOUTH AND KEEP _YOUR_ EYES ON THE QUAFFLE!" screamed Regulus furiously. "YOU'RE NOT TEAM CAPTAIN, SO SHUT THE BLOODY FUCK UP!"

"REGULUS!" shouted James and spun his broom around. "What the hell is going on?"

"Just Shafiq who thinks she's a better Seeker than me!" snarled Regulus. 

"I never said that," she huffed. "But he isn’t focusing at all. He keeps gawking at the stands instead of the pitch."

"Well, I'm done for today!" growled Regulus. Then he flew to the ground, got off his broom and marched off the pitch.

**o0o0o**

Lily was sitting in the common room when Regulus stomped in. She looked up from her studies and checked her watch "You’re back early.”

"Practise was bullocks today so I didn't see a point in wasting any more time there," said Regulus. He hesitated for a second. He had actually just wanted to go up and sulk alone in his dorm, but Lily always provided an opportunity to criticize James. She was just about the only Gryffindor who didn't think he was God’s gift to the house. So he leaned his broom on the side of an armchair and slumped into it. "Potter was bossing us around as though he was Minister for Magic so I didn't get peace to concentrate on the Snitch."

Lily put her book in her lap. "Ah yes. Captain Potter… Best thing you can do is ignore him, I reckon."

Regulus snorted. "Fat chance of that. His ego takes up the whole room and I don't think he knows how to speak at a normal volume."

There had been a couple of years where Regulus had stayed clear of Lily (since he found out she was Muggle-born) but blood status had become less important to him, and he had to admit Lily was one of the housemates he liked the most. Or disliked the least. 

Sirius and Peter came in through the portrait hole and Sirius walked straight up to his brother. "What happened? James says you blew up in Alessandra’s face."

"Just leave him be, Black," said Lily. "He just needs a break and he doesn’t need you lot to pester him all the time."

"Exactly," said Regulus. But to your information Shafiq is a twat. She thinks she knows more about Seeking than I do. She should concentrate on her own position. Maybe she would start scoring goals, then."

Sirius sighed and sat down on a sofa. "What’s up with you? You seem a bit off today."

"Everybody's allowed to have a bad day once in a while, aren't they?" snapped Regulus. 

"You sure have a lot of them," mumbled Peter. 

"Shut your face, Pettigrew!"

"But it's true," said Peter defensively.

The portrait door swung open and a handful of fifth-years came in, one of them a short brunette who bouncing over and placed herself on Sirius' lap. "Sirimus!" she squealed and gave him a peck on the cheek. 

Sirius snaked an arm around the girl and pulled her closer, flashing her a seductive smile. "Hello, beautiful.”

The girl beamed and toyed with Sirius’ long hair. "So... I had a brilliant time the other night..."

"Me too," said Sirius, smoothing a hand down her back. "We should do it again soon."

Regulus rolled his eyes and looked away. His brother was such a show-off. Just because he could have just about any girl at his feet with just a toss of his hair. Not that Regulus envied him; it was just annoying to look at. 

"What about tonight?"

"Tonight is fine," Sirius smirked and let a hand glide up her thigh.

"Why don’t you two get a room," said Lily, peering over her book.

"We might just do that," grinned Sirius and placed a kiss on the girl's neck.

"Oh," sighed Allie Waltham, who sat a little further away with a couple of girlfriends. "Chelsea is so lucky. I would give anything to go out with him."

"Yes," agreed one of the others. “He's bloody gorgeous."

"That shiny black hair... and those _eyes_ ," groaned Allie.

"He’s sooo handsome," another girl sighed. "I wish he would go out with me too. Too bad his brother doesn’t seem interested in dating," she whispered to the others. "He is like a little copy of him. Rather feminine, but still... very handsome."

"Maybe he's just shy," suggested one.

"Oh, don't try anything,” warned Allie. “Didn't you hear what he said to Nancy the other day when she asked him to go with her to Hogsmeade?"

"No, what?"

Allie leaned closer and whispered in her ear. The girl drew back with a horrified expression on her face. "He _said_ that? That's so nasty!"

"Well, she was crushed, too. So better stay away from him. He's mental."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 – “I’m Not Sorry”**

Saturday morning came and Regulus was very focused. They had to win this game. Regulus _had_ to catch the Snitch. He would die from embarrassment if Davies caught it. He listened carefully to James' instructions in the changing room, although they mostly concerned tactics between the other positions. Seeking was a rather independent task, which was one of the things Regulus liked about it. It was just him, his broom and the Snitch. 

They flew onto the pitch to loud cheers from the spectators. The weather was beautiful so it was perfect playing conditions and very enjoyable to sit on the stands. Regulus tried to focus on searching for the Snitch and ignore Davies completely. It was hard, however, because every time he came into his field of vision something started burning in his stomach. There was no sign of the Snitch in the first half hour. From the sounds of the spectators Regulus guessed that Gryffindor was in the lead. 

“AND THERE GOES DAVIES!” shouted the commentator. “WHAT SPEED! HAS HE SEEN THE SNITCH?”

Regulus set off after Davies. He didn't think he had actually spotted the Snitch, but he had to be sure. Davies turned to fly back just as Regulus was about to catch up with him, and they nearly collided in mid-air. 

"Watch where you're going, you bloody fairy!" Regulus snarled and gave Davies a hard push. 

Davies looked surprised but then narrowed his eyes. "Same goes for you, you twat!” He rubbed his chest where Regulus had pushed him. "Bloody wanker."

Regulus felt heat rush to his face and before he knew it he had punched Davies hard in the face.

"BLACK!" called Madam Hooch and flew up on the side of them. "What _are_ you doing?"

"He punched me!" said Davies, holding his nose, a trickle of blood seeping between his fingers. 

"He asked for it!" said Regulus. "I'm NOT sorry!"

The stands had gone quiet for a moment but now the Ravenclaw tribune erupted in angry yells. 

Peter looked wide-eyed from Remus to Sirius. "What... What's wrong with him?"

"I have no idea but he is going to get himself in trouble," said Sirius.

Shocked, Remus just sat gaping at the scene on the pitch.

"I will NOT have Muggle duelling on my pitch and I did not expect this from you, Black!" Madam Hooch raged.

Ravenclaw was given two penalty shots and Regulus a strict warning. 

"He’s lucky he wasn't sent out for the entire game," said Sirius and sat back down. "Come on Reggie," he mumbled, knowing that if they lost the game now, Regulus would be extremely unpopular in the house. 

Regulus too had realised how much trouble he had gotten himself into. With a knot in his stomach he set off, frantically looking for the Snitch. Fifteen minutes later he was lucky. Both he and Davies spotted it at the same time and sped after it, but Regulus outmanoeuvred Davis and snatched the tiny golden ball right in front of his nose. 

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!" rang the speaker and all Gryffindor spectators stood up, hooting and clapping eagerly.

Regulus landed and headed for the changing rooms immediately, but someone grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around. It was James.

"What the bloody hell were you playing at? You can't just slug someone and then run off and hide!"

"I’m not hiding! The game is over, isn't it? Why should I stick around?"

Then McGonagall came marching over, looking even angrier than James. "Mr. Black, a word please," she said in a strict tone and told James to go back to the others and celebrate their victory. "I will not tolerate this kind of behaviour from anyone in my house and _you_ would be the last one I would expect to lose his head like that."

"He provoked me," Regulus tried. 

"That doesn't give you the right to hit him," McGonagall cut him off. "No matter what he said you should have enough sense to control yourself."

"Okay, Professor. Can I go now?"

"You are to report to detention in my office for a week, and I will not tolerate this behaviour again or I will take you off the team!"

Regulus bit his lip to prevent himself from arguing. He was already in enough trouble as it was. "Yes, Professor."

"And you will give Mr. Davies an apology."

"No," said Regulus determinedly. 

"Did I not make myself clear, Mr. Black?" she said, looking incredulous. "You will do as I say or it's another week of detention!"

"I will take another week, then," said Regulus. He would rather bite off his own tongue than apologise to Davies. 

**o0o0o**

Sirius, Remus and Peter came back to the common room ten minutes after Regulus.

"What was that stunt about?" Sirius asked his brother.

Regulus groaned. "Why is everybody making such a big deal out of it? He nearly flew into me and insulted me on top of that."

Peter eyed him cautiously. Merlin knew Regulus had had his share of run-ins before, but Peter couldn't remember having ever seen him resorting to physical violence.

"Insulted you how?" asked Remus a little puzzled. He had seen them almost collide, indeed, but he couldn't imagine Noel insulting Regulus without reason.

"You sure you didn't say something to upset him?" asked Sirius.

"I told him to look where he was going, didn't I?" snapped Regulus. 

The rest of the Quidditch team filed in fifteen minutes later and Regulus decided it was time to disappear to his dorm. He was not keen on being near James right now, and the usual victory party was starting up as well. Regulus was not in the mood to party at all.

**o0o0o**

"Are you okay?" Remus asked Noel when they went for a walk a few hours later.

"Well - what the bloody hell is the matter with that bloke? Is something not right in his head, or what? What have I ever done to him?”

"He... he just has a short temper," said Remus and kicked a rock. "I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it." He bit his lip. "He, um, said that you insulted him first, and that he only told you to watch where you were going."

" _What_?" said Noel incredulously and stopped to face Remus. "He called me a bloody fairy! Maybe that's his problem. Maybe he's a homophobe."

Remus looked a little shocked. "He… he did?" Maybe Regulus _was_ a homophone. Maybe that was why he had been so angry with Remus ever since he had become Noel’s boyfriend. The thought stung in his heart.

"Yes. Still doesn't quite explain why he has never had a problem with me before, though,” said Davies. “I’ve been out for years. But maybe he hasn’t heard it until recently."

"M-maybe not..."

"Well," said Noel and took Remus' hand. "Sod him. It doesn't matter what he thinks, Remus. His brother is cool with it and he's your best friend, so it doesn't matter what Little Prince Black thinks, does it?"

"I guess not," said Remus and forced a smile. "I, um, have something else I wanted to talk to you about, by the way," he mumbled and felt his ears go red.

"Yeah?” said Noel, sending him a soft smile as they started walking again, hand in hand. "Something exciting?"

"Well," started Remus and swallowed a lump. "You asked me if I wanted… if I… if we... You asked about s-sex, and well… I don't think I’m ready to go all the way just yet, but I wouldn't mind trying… other things." He could feel his face burning red just by thinking about what he had just said to Noel. He hadn't thought he would actually be able to get the words out.

"Oh," said Noel and smiled. "Well, of course I didn't expect you to jump right in at the deep end. Not when I'm your first and all. I rather like taking one step at a time too. I can show you some really good things we can try."

"I'd like that, but I’ve been wondering - where would we be able to meet up and… well you know..."

Remus felt a lot better now after Noel’s reaction, and he felt blessed for having such a understanding boyfriend. He had been afraid that he would be disappointed to hear that Remus didn't want to go all the way yet.

"I could always ask my dorm mates to clear out for a few hours. They won't mind. I do it for them too on occasion," said Noel.

"O-okay. Good. Because I think I would be too embarrassed to ask my dorm mates.”

**o0o0o**

Regulus lay on his back on his four-poster with a purring Polaris on his stomach. He had magically sealed the curtains so nobody could disturb him. He had done it after Nigel had stuck his head in to tell him he was brilliant and asked why he wasn't at the party. He had been doing some serious thinking. He had to pull himself together now and stop acting like this around Davies and Remus. People were starting to wonder what was the matter and soon they might get suspicious. He would simply have to tone it down and not attract so much attention. 

**o0o0o**

Regulus avoided people most of Sunday but went down to breakfast Monday morning, determined to behave normally and not show how Davies and Remus made him feel. It shouldn't be so difficult. He had lifelong experience in controlling his emotions and pretending.

He sat down next to his brother, said good morning and started putting jam on some toast. 

Sirius looked a little surprised. "Well, good morning, Your Highness.”

Remus looked equally surprised but didn't dare speak to Regulus. He was still thinking about what Noel had said about him possibly being homophobic and Remus didn't want to risk him blowing up in his face.

"So, what are you lads doing today?" asked James. "After lessons, I mean.”

"I’m meeting up with Chelsea,” said Sirius and flashed him a grin. He had been spending a lot of time with her lately.

"I don't know yet," said Remus, pouring himself a glass of pumpkin juice. "Probably just sit and do some homework."

"Maybe you can study with your boyfriend?" suggested Peter. "I mean, he's a swat too, isn't he?"

"Of course he is," said James. "He's Ravenclaw. “They're in love with books, the lot of them."

Regulus felt the now familiar flash of irritation at the mention of Davies, but he remained neutral in his expression. 

"Maybe I could," Remus said and shot a quick glance at Regulus, but was relieved to see that he didn't react to the mention of Noel.

"You want us to stay away so you can have the dorm to yourselves?" asked Sirius and snickered when Remus blushed red.

Regulus snorted before he could stop himself but quickly tried to pass it off as a case of crumbs in his throat.

"We start training right after lessons, Regulus," said James. "Don't forget."

Regulus eyed James irritably. "Do I ever forget? But I can't play today. I have detention with McGonagall."

"Right. You landed yourself two weeks," groaned James. "Great job. You won't be able to join practise for two weeks because you couldn't control yourself."

"Yeah, we still don't know why you did that, other than you said he insulted you,” said Sirius.

"Why don't you lot give me a break, already?" snapped Regulus. "How often have you two (indicating James and Sirius) landed yourselves in detention for doing something stupid? You probably have the school record! And you, Sirius - I seem to recollect numerous occasions where you have punched other students. So who are you to judge?"

"But those were Slytherins, mostly..." said Peter. 

"Oh, so it's because I hit someone from the wrong house? I'm sorry - I didn't realise that. I will go tell McGonagall that I made a mistake, that I thought I was hitting a Slytherin, and then maybe she will let me off with a warning," said Regulus sarcastically. 

Sirius put his hands up in defence "Easy, little brother. It’s just because it’s so unlike you to do something like this."

Remus dropped his head and pushed his scrambled eggs around on his plate. It was true what Regulus said. Sirius and James had more detentions in a month than Regulus had had since he came to Hogwarts.

"Maybe I should have a word with old Minnie and see if I can get her to let you wait till after practise to turn up for your detentions," said James. "She can't resist my charm and she also has an interest in us being as good as possible. I think she's starting to form a bond with the Quidditch Cup."

Regulus nodded. James might actually succeed. Not because the stern professor was receptive to charm, but she did take great pride in her house's Quidditch team. 

Remus noticed Noel getting up from his seat to head for the door and Remus got up, excusing himself, and hurried over to catch him. "Er, Noel?"

Noel turned to him and smiled while telling his friends that he would be right there. "Yeah?"

"My friends are busy for the afternoon. You want to study together?"

"Yes, sure!" beamed Noel. "Meet you at the library, then?"

Remus nodded and smiled. "I’ll be there after my last lesson."

Regulus saw them and suddenly didn't feel like sitting at the table anymore, so he quickly swallowed the rest of his food and left.

Remus came back to the table after giving Noel a quick kiss and sat down across from Sirius. Noticing that Regulus had left, he sighed and worked up the courage to ask Sirius. "Padfoot?"

"Yeah?" Sirius mumbled with his mouth full of food.

"Do... do you think that Regulus has anything against me being gay?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You think that's why he’s been behaving like a nutter?" he speculated. "Well, our parents don't - not surprisingly - approve of homosexuality and they might have banged that into Reggie's head, of course... But I've never heard him talk about the subject, and I think that if it was something he felt strongly about, we would have heard him bitch about it plenty during the years. Like with the blood purity and houses and all that."

"Perhaps," said Remus and felt a little better. "Just... Noel thought he might be homophobic. He called him a fairy at the Quidditch match and then Noel got upset with him. I think that’s why Regulus hit him."

"Nasty little bugger," mumbled James. 

Sirius sighed. "Prat. Well, I'll ask him about it during the holidays. I won't tell him that I talked to you about it, of course."

**o0o0o**

Barty caught up with Regulus at the end of the hall. "Where have you been hiding lately? One should think you’ve been trying to avoid me."

"Of course not," said Regulus. "You want to do something later?"

"Yeah. I could use a good laugh. We could play a prank on that faggot from your house. I can’t imagine being a poor bugger and a fairy as well. Just begging to be bullied, if you ask me."

"I don't feel like playing pranks," said Regulus stiffly. "It's childish. Something my brother and Potter do."

Regulus did not want to play pranks on Remus. And he in general didn't much like it. Especially with Barty, who had a vicious sense of humour and played rather cruel pranks. 

"You should try it sometimes, Regulus," sighed Barty. "To see the expression on their faces is the best thing in the bloody world. I would think a pure-blood like yourself would find it rather hilarious."

"Why on earth would you think that? Pranks are below me. It's something my brother does."

"He’s a poor, half-blood faggot of a Gryffindor. He deserves it.”

"Leave him alone," said Regulus without thinking.

Barty looked at him in surprise. 

"I mean, he isn't worth it. And his bodyguards would give us hell. Remember I live in that house. I would like to be able to relax there without having to worry about when payback time came. They can play some rather nasty pranks, I tell you that. Well, being a Slytherin, you should know."

Barty sighed in disappointment. "Yeah, I know. They aren’t exactly being nice to Snape. What do you want to do then? Since you don’t like my idea."

Regulus shrugged. "I don't have much time today. Got detention tonight. And the rest of the week. And next one."

Barty’s jaw dropped. "Bloody hell, you got that much just for hitting that bloke? Professor McGonagall sure is strict. Then you won’t have Quidditch practice either? He wasn’t worth two weeks of detention, if you ask me."

"He isn't worth a single point deducted," Regulus snorted. "Miserable sod. Actually I only got one week's detention, but then another because I refused to apologise to him. Over my dead body!"

Barty laughed. "You refused that? Brilliant, Regulus!" He slapped Regulus’ back and swung his arm around him again. "You just reminded me why I like you."

"I'd rather spend the rest of the year in detention than apologise to that faggot."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11 – "Why Can't You Control Yourself for _One_  Night?"**

On the train home for Christmas it didn’t take long before Regulus moved into the Marauders' compartment to escape Nigel. "That little bugger won't leave me alone," he grumbled as he sat down next to Remus. "He thinks I'm the most brilliant bloke in the world, no matter what I do or say to him."

"You got a fan,” laughed Sirius. "You better get used to it. His brother says that when Nigel sets his eyes on someone he will never leave them alone. Miles has his own problems getting away from him but it has helped after he got to know you, so he’s grateful."

"Get used to it?" snorted Regulus. "I've had four years to get used to it. Not going to happen."

Regulus leaned back and closes his eyes, hoping that maybe he could fall asleep. The last months had been so crazy; he was almost looking forward to going home just to get away from Hogwarts for a while. Almost. He suspected he would change his mind once he got home and his parents started making life miserable for him. There were bound to be numerous fancy dinner parties they had to go to, with plenty of guests who were not impressed by the brothers’ Gryffindor status.

"I will see if I can come by your house, Prongs," Sirius said. "Would be brilliant to see you all this holiday, but I doubt my blasted parents will let that happen."

Remus turned to Regulus. "What about you, Regulus? Have you any plans over the holidays?"

Regulus debated with himself if he should pretend to be asleep so he didn't have to talk to Remus, but then he sighed and opened his eyes. "Well, Christmas is a family holiday and we have a big family, so... there's lots to do."

"Okay," smiled Remus. "I’m spending Christmas with my family too." When there was no reply, Remus returned to gazing out the window. In the reflection of the glass he could see Regulus watching him for a moment, and Remus was glad that he didn't look disgusted.

Polaris got up from Regulus' lap, stretched and then padded over to Remus, sending James a warning gaze on the way. He stepped up on Remus' lap and rubbed his head against his chin, purring loudly. 

"It's funny how that cat loves Moony," said Peter. 

"Yeah," said James. “He seems to hate pretty much everyone else. Other than Regulus, of course."

"He likes me too," said Sirius, sounding a little offended that James was forgetting him. 

"Yeah, but he isn't all lovey-dovey with you like with Moony," pointed out James. 

Remus rubbed the cat’s forehead. "I'm just good with animals." Polaris turned around a couple of times before settling on Remus’ lap and resting his head on his hand.

Regulus had been looking intently at the cat and Remus, and suddenly, realising what he was doing, tore his eyes away and scolded himself.  _Stop wishing it's you he's touching like that!_

As the train pulled into King’s Cross Station, Remus gently handed Polaris to Regulus. "Thank you for letting me pet him." As he placed the cat on Regulus' lap, their hands touched. Remus felt his ears go red. “H-have a nice holiday, Regulus.”

"Er... Happy Christmas," mumbled Regulus, looking at his hand where Remus had touched him.

**o0o0o**

Kreacher beamed with happiness when Regulus walked through the front door. "Young Master! Welcome home!”

Regulus threw his arms around the little elf, now having to bend down to do it. Although he was still small for his age he had grown a bit more during the first part of the school year. "I've missed you. It's been a hard semester."

"Kreacher can imagine that, when Master Regulus has to live with filthy Gryffindors and nasty Master Sirius," the elf said, gently patting Regulus’ back. "Kreacher has prepared Young Master’s room. Lit a fire and everything and put out nice clean robes. Kreacher can also draw Young Master a bath if he would like?"

"Yes, please," smiled Regulus. “That would be lovely. I could use some relaxing after the train ride.”

It was wonderful stepping into his room. His own room. Just him. No annoying Nigel or Brown or his other roommates. If it weren't for the rest of the family it would be a perfect holiday. 

Kreacher knocked on his door fifteen minutes later and told him that the bath was ready. The elf beamed at Regulus and handed him a towel. "Kreacher hopes that Master Regulus will enjoy the hot water. Dinner will be served in an hour so Young Master has plenty of time."

Regulus sighed as he sank into the hot lavender-scented water, soaked in bath salts and bubbles, and felt himself relax utterly. In fact he must have fallen asleep because the next thing he knew he was jerked awake by a knock on the door. "Yes?" he called, noticing that the water had gone lukewarm, so a good deal of time must have gone by.

"Dinner is served, Master Regulus,” the elf’s voice sounded on the other side of the door. 

**o0o0o**

Dinner went by quietly. Mr. and Mrs. Black were not interested in hearing about school or about how their sons were in fact doing. They just sat in silence barely looking at them and the only time Mrs. Black spoke to Regulus it was to tell him to sit up straight.

Like always, Sirius looked bored and indifferent, but no matter how much Regulus tried to not let it bother him, it still hurt when his parents treated him like this. The silent disapproval was almost worse than scolding and criticising. He desperately searched his mind for something to say that would soften them up.

"Uh... I've been spending a lot of time with Barty," he said, knowing that Barty was someone they approved very much of him seeing. He was Slytherin, from an old proud pure-blood family and, best of all, son of the Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. 

His mother looked at him with interest. "So you’re still friends with him? That is good, Regulus. Much better than that uncivilised lot your brother runs around with."

Sirius was about to give his mother a piece of his mind but when catching Regulus’ eye he decided to stay quiet and let his brother get some praise for acknowledgement.

"You should invite him over," Mrs. Black continued and took a sip of her wine. "It would do you good to spend more time with respectable pure-bloods. I reckon there aren't many of those in Gryffindor. Pure-bloods perhaps, but not respectable."

"Thank you, Mother," smiled Regulus. "I will do that."

Kreacher served a brandy trifle for dessert and the uncomfortable silence hung over the table once again. 

"We've won all Quidditch matches so far this year," said Regulus in the vain hope that they might be proud of him. “I caught the Snitch every time."

"That would have been something to take pride in had you played for the right house," said Mr. Black.

Sirius saw how crestfallen his little brother looked. "Who says it's the wrong house?" he snarled. "Reggie is Hogwarts’ best Seeker and you should be proud of him, but you're too narrow-minded to see that. All you care about is stupid Slytherin."

And that was the kick-off to the holidays' first screaming match between Sirius and his mother. After a few minutes Mr. Black got up to leave and told Regulus he was excused as well. 

Regulus hurried upstairs and put a silencing charm on the door to block out the sounds from downstairs. He hated when his brother fought with their parents.

Ten minutes later there was a knock on his door and Kreacher entered with a tray of biscuits and tea. From further down the hall came the sound of loud music, the bass hammering in the floor.

"Kreacher thought Master Regulus would like a cup of tea in his room."

"Thank you, Kreacher," smiled Regulus and invited the elf to sit down and have tea with him. 

"Master Sirius has strange taste in music. Vulgar music, Kreacher thinks," the elf snorted and took a sip of tea.

"Well... I think maybe what he likes most about it is that it's Muggle music and loud and bothers Mother and Father," said Regulus. "He also listens to wizard music at the school. This is mostly to provoke. Tell me, were they fighting about anything other than the usual?"

"Same as always," said Kreacher. "Master Sirius does not respect Master and Mistress. Master and Mistress like Master Regulus more."

"Really? Do... do they speak about me positively sometimes? What do they say?"

"They say that Master Regulus is not as bad as the nasty Sirius. And they have heard from the Professor McGonagall that Master Regulus is doing well at school. Master Sirius does well also but behaves badly and gets many detentions. Kreacher has heard Mistress talk about that, yes he has. Also, Master Regulus has better friends."

"Oh, okay," said Regulus, feeling a little better. He just wished they would praise him to his face more often.

"Kreacher, could you bring some more food for Polaris?"

“Yes, Master Regulus,” said the elf, jumping to his feet. “Right away, Master Regulus.”

Mr. and Mrs. Black were not happy with the cat so Regulus kept him in his room, out of their sight. His parents had been most displeased when they had found out that he had given away Lyra, and Mrs. Black had slapped him when they came out of the train station. Regulus had lied and said he had given Lyra to a Slytherin friend. He dared not think about how angry they would get if they learned the truth. 

A little later Regulus decided to go talk to his brother. He knocked on the door as hard as he could, but it seemed that the music was so loud that Sirius could not hear it, so Regulus just walked in.

He found Sirius lying on his bed, reading a magazine. Sirius looked up and turned down the music with a flick of his wand. "Hello."

"Sirius, I -" started Regulus, but was lost for words when he saw what Sirius had been doing the past hour. Already in first year he had decorated his room with Gryffindor flags and banners, but now there were also two large Muggle posters on the walls. One with a motorcycle and one with bikini clad girls. "Sirius," Regulus gasped. "What have you done?"

"Decorated my room," Sirius said and leaned back on his bed with the magazine. "Looks a lot better like this, I think," he grinned. "I have been meaning to talk to you if you would sit down, or are you on your way out again?"

"N-no, I wanted to talk to you too," said Regulus, still not able to take his eyes off the posters. "Sirius, do you realise how Mother is going to react when she sees these?" Regulus shuttered just by the thought.

"I don’t care what she says," said Sirius and folded his arms behind his head. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing special," said Regulus and sat down on Sirius' bed, drawing his legs up under him. "You didn't have to defend me, you know. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me."

 “You’re my baby brother and it’s my duty to have your back," said Sirius. "Anyway, I’ve been meaning to ask you something. What is your problem with Remus all of a sudden?"

"W-what?" said Regulus, feeling the blood drain from his face. Did Sirius suspect something?

"You’ve been very hostile towards him ever since he started dating Noel, so I was wondering if you had something against him being gay.” 

"No, I haven't," refused Regulus. "You're imagining things. I have nothing against Remus. He's the nicest of your friends."

 “I know you think that. That's why I got confused when you suddenly started acting like this around him, and then you socked his boyfriend, so I was wondering if maybe Mother had gotten to you about homosexuals."

"I socked his _boyfriend_ because he's a bloody wanker and he insulted me first! How many times do I have to tell you? It had nothing to do with Remus!"

“I heard you called Davies a fairy. Not really a word I had hoped to hear come out of your mouth."

"I didn't sit down and debate with myself which insult to use. I just slung out the first one that came to mind. I don't have a problem with Remus being gay, but he could really do better than that prat.”

"As far as I know, Davies is very nice to Remus, and Remus is happy because he wants to go out with him, so maybe you could just be a good friend and support him instead of giving him a hard time."

"Of course he's nice to him - he's only after one thing, isn't he? Anyway, I'm not going to support something that's wrong. It's unnatural."

"So you _do_ think that being gay is wrong?"

"Yes it's wrong!” snapped Regulus. “But Remus can do what he likes. If he were pure-blood it would be different, but he doesn't have a duty to carry on his family name and blood. And I'm sure if he _were_ pure-blood he would live up to his responsibility and not act on his impulses. He has morals, unlike you and Potter, for instance. You wouldn't care the least bit.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Don’t you dare talk about Remus as if he is beneath us just because he is half-blood. And there’s nothing wrong with being gay! Those are Mother’s words and it’s narrow-mindedness like that which made Remus keep it a secret until this year!"

"Well, I haven't given him a hard time. I even prevented Barty from bullying him."

Sirius looked a little surprised. "You did?" 

"Don't you think your horrible brother is capable of a good deed?" asked Regulus, crossing his arms. 

"I know you are. You proved that by helping Nigel. And I don’t think you're horrible, but you’re saying one thing and doing another. Sorry if I’m confused."

"Sorry I'm too complicated for your narrow mind to grasp," said Regulus, jutting out his chin.

"You’re the one who’s narrow-minded! I try to understand, but you get offended whenever I ask you about something. Well, good job on making sure no one gets you at all."

"I only get offended when you're nosey or trying to control me."

"Fine," snapped Sirius. "I won’t bother you, then, with anything His Royal Highness doesn’t bring up himself."

"As if you could keep that promise," scoffed Regulus. "I think I will go and enjoy a private, peaceful sleep in my own bed. Good night."

**o0o0o**

The brothers only got one day's peace and then it was time for the first dinner party. Abraxas and Faustina Malfoy, whose son, Lucius, had married Narcissa a few years earlier, were hosting the party at the Malfoy manor. 

"And remember, Sirius - if you don't behave yourself, you will spend the rest of the holidays locked up in the basement. Are we clear?" asked Mrs. Black as they were about to leave. 

"Yes, Mother," muttered Sirius and ran a hand through his hair.

They were welcomed by the cool politeness of the Malfoys and shown into the lounge where welcome drinks were being served. The brothers obediently went around shaking hands with the other guests. 

As soon as Sirius had said hello to everyone he took a glass of welcome drink and found a private corner. He took a large gulp of his drink and rolled his eyes when he saw his cousin Narcissa enter the room hanging on the arm of Lucius Malfoy and smiling widely at everyone.

Regulus greeted the couple politely and then he spotted Bellatrix. His stomach notched up. He was still a little scared of her. In truth, he was almost as scared of her as he had been as a child. Unconsciously, he slowly made his way over to his brother, the place he had always felt most secure when their ill-tempered cousin was around. 

Sirius leaned down and mumbled to Regulus, "Just ignore whatever she says."

Regulus whispered, "Do you think it's true that she's a Death Eater?"

Sirius studied her for a moment, narrowing his eyes. "If anyone is Death Eater material it’s her. I’m just glad they’re not forcing that rubbish on us."

Unfortunately, Bellatrix did not plan on leaving her young cousins alone. She came over, flashing her crazy smile and adopted her sugar sweet voice. "Ooh, cousin Sirius, what a pleasure," she said, pursing her lips. 

Regulus noticed how Sirius, now taller than Bellatrix, straightened up so he could look down on her.

"I wish I could say likewise, Bellatrix," Sirius said and crossed his arms.

"Ah, and so grown and manly you have become," she continued, ignoring Sirius' words. "So handsome," she said and ran a hand down his chest. "I bet all the little girlies lust after you."

"My girlfriend does, yes," said Sirius and pushed her hand off him, looking disgusted.

"Your girlfriend? A nice pure-blood girl?" Bellatrix asked. 

"She’s a nice half-blood."

"Oh? Well, I suppose you can have some fun with your little girlie, but of course you will have to find a real woman when you finish school," she smiled sweetly. 

"If it were for my parents to decide, they would find someone within the family, and I’m not interested in that. I might just marry a half-blood. Or a Muggle-born."

Bellatrix curled her upper lip in disgust but then put on the sugar sweet act again. "And little Cousin Reggie!" she said as if she had just discovered Regulus standing next to Sirius. "Oh, you little sweetie," she cooed as if she were talking to a baby, and pinched his cheek so hard it stung.

Sirius looked at Regulus and rolled his eyes. "He is not a baby, Bella," he growled and replaced his drink with a new one as an elf passed with a tray.

"Ah," she said, pursing her lips, "But he's so sweet and tiny." She patted Regulus’ head. “How old are you now? Eleven?"

"Fifteen," said Regulus through gritted teeth. It was not many who would have gotten away with talking to him like that, and if he had not been so scared of her, he would have told her where to stick it - family or not. 

"Come on, Reggie," said Sirius and lead his brother away from their cousin. When they were out of hearing range Sirius sighed, "Don't let her get to you.”

When Sirius took his fourth glass of the welcome drink. Regulus eyed him nervously and leaned in to whisper, "Don't drink so much. What if you get drunk? It would cause a scandal."

"When have I ever cared about causing a scandal?" Sirius said but seeing how nervous his brother looked he put the glass down. "Alright, alright, if it worries you that much.”

At dinner Regulus sat quietly, answered politely when talked to and otherwise tried to say as little as possible. Sirius was behaving acceptably considering how he often behaved at family parties, so Regulus relieved about that, at least. So far so good. Maybe he would actually keep in line for the rest of the night. 

Mr. and Mrs. Black talked lively with the other people at the table, but when someone asked why Sirius and Regulus were both in Gryffindor Mrs. Black's expression stiffened. “It is no secret that we are very disappointed with the sorting. Something has clearly gone wrong,” she said.

“The school ought to take the manner of sorting up to revision,” said Orion. “Letting a thousand year old hat make such an important decision.” He scoffed. “It’s ludicrous.”

“Well, the Hat _did_ pick up on cousin Sirius not being a good little boy,” said Bellatrix, pursing her mouth at her cousin. “And the so-called friends he –“

"My friends are real friends with whom I trust my life," Sirius cut her off.

"Your life?" asked Uncle Cygnus. "Why would you need to trust someone with your life? Have you got yourself into trouble, boy?"

Sirius sat up straight. "What I’m saying is that they’re true friends who have my back no matter what."

"Well," said Cygnus, “I suppose much of your lot _will_ be in danger soon if you don't start seeing the truth and making the right decisions. Mudblood lovers and blood traitors," he added as if the words tasted foully in his mouth.

Sirius clenched his teeth and his hand tightened around a napkin. "At least I’m not a Death Eater who hides behind a mask and inbreeds to keep the bloodlines pure!"

Mr. Black sent his son a death glare. "SIRIUS! That is no way to speak to your uncle!"

Regulus gasped, afraid of would happen next. If rumours were true, then one of Uncle Cygnus' daughters was a Death Eater, and another had married one. And he was no doubt very proud of them both. 

"I’m speaking to him the way he’s speaking to me!" retorted Sirius, glaring at his father. "He trashed my friends and called me a blood traitor!"

Everyone in the room had gone dead silent, watching the scene unfold with withheld breaths. 

"You better watch out, you punk," growled Cygnus. "You're walking a very thin line. If you weren't blood, you would be in a sorry state right now!"

Mrs. Black looked absolutely livid. She turned to her husband and hissed something too low for the others to hear.

Mr. Black nodded and got up. "Come here!" he ordered, walking around the table and grabbing his son roughly by the upper arm. "I think you and me are done for the night."

After Orion and Sirius had disappeared, everyone looked around at each other before returning to their usual chatter, leaving Regulus sitting alone and stunned by what had happened. He didn't even dare imagine what was going to happen to Sirius when they got home. 

**o0o0o**

When Regulus came home with his mother a few hours later, he snuck into Sirius’ room only to find it empty. He was not surprised. He waited half an hour after his parents had gone to bed before sneaking down the stairs to the basement. The door to one of the rooms was closed and Regulus didn't have to try the handle to know that it was locked. It was not the first time Sirius had been locked in there.

Regulus squatted just outside and in a low voice called, "Sirius?" There was a slim gap under the door, so Sirius could easily hear him. 

"Reggie?" Sirius’ voice sounded from behind the door. "Guess I couldn’t keep my mouth shut for a whole evening…"

"Are you okay? What did he do to you?" asked Regulus, although he already had a good idea.

"He just smacked me a few times and threw me in here. Says I need to learn some manners. I can’t see how this is supposed to teach me manners. All it’s going to do is get me ill and hungry."

"Are you cold? Did he give you something to sleep on?”

"There is an old mattress in here I can lie on but he didn’t leave me a blanket or anything. Don’t know if he thought there already was one or if he decided freezing should be part of my punishment." Sirius sighed and shivered. "If I knew I would have to spend a week in the basement I would have dressed warmer." He gave out a small laugh and then went quiet again.

"Wait here," said Regulus and hurried upstairs. He came back a little later with a woollen blanket which he flattened as much as possible and pushed under the door. "I put a heating charm on it, so you should stay warm."

"Thanks, Reggie,” said Sirius. “You should probably go back upstairs so you won’t get into trouble.”

"Yeah... Hey, I got you some candles too so you don't have to sit in the dark." Regulus shoved three candles and a box of matches under the door. "Hide it all when they come to check on you, alright? If they find out I snuck you stuff, then..."

"I will. Don’t worry. And thanks again. You’re the best brother in the world."

**o0o0o**

Regulus could barely sleep that night, thinking about Sirius alone in the basement. At least he wasn't cold. Even though Regulus knew it would only have made things worse if he had stood up to their parents at the party and defended Sirius, he felt a little guilty about not doing it. Sirius would have done it for him. But then again, what Regulus was doing was both smarter and more helpful for Sirius.

Early in the morning, when he had finally managed to fall asleep, he was awoken by a tapping on his window. He opened it and in came Lyra. She was happy to see Regulus and he invited her to hop onto his arm and stroked her back. 

She was carrying two letters. One for Sirius and one, to Regulus' surprise, for him. He quickly opened his letter and read:

_Dear Regulus_

_I hope you’re enjoying your holidays with all this snow we have gotten. At least we have a lot where I live. I thought I would write you a letter to hear how you were. I am ill again and have been in bed for the last two days, but that doesn’t stop me from looking out the window at the snow that is so gently falling. It reminds me of when you gave me Lyra at Hogsmeade last year. I am sure she is happy to see you again. You can keep her for a few days if you wish or until Sirius writes me back or you do. I hope to hear from you and hear that you’re well._

_Remus_

Regulus' heart did a summersault as he read the letter. It meant more to him that Remus had written him a letter than he would admit. He read it several more times before getting dressed and sneaking down to the basement. "Are you awake?" he asked the door. 

"Mm," sounded a tired voice. "You’re up early. Or is my sense of timing completely off?"

"No, it's six o’clock. Lyra came. She brought a letter for you.” Regulus shoved the letter under the door. He didn't feel like telling Sirius that Remus had written Regulus a letter too.

"Thanks," said Sirius and unfolded the letter.

"I can bring you quill and parchment later if you want to write a reply,” said Regulus.

Suddenly the basement door opened and Regulus’ heart jumped into his throat. He desperately looked around and then crawled out of sight behind some boxes. To his relief it was only Kreacher coming down the stairs. Regulus stepped out and nearly gave the elf a heart attack.

"Master Regulus?" gasped Kreacher, looking up at him. "What is Young Master doing down here? Master and Mistress will be very upset if they see him lurking around down here."

"He’s just keeping me company," sounded Sirius’ voice from behind the door.

Kreacher frowned. "Master Sirius should not have visitors. Mistress says so. Master Sirius should think about what he has done."

Regulus quickly intervened, not wanting the other two to start bickering. "What have you got there, Kreacher?" He eyed the plate in his hand. A dry roll and a glass of water.

"Food for Master Sirius," said the elf with a smirk on his face as he went over to put the plate down by the door. "This is what Mistress ordered Kreacher to bring."

"But that's... that's like what they give the prisoners in Azkaban!" gasped Regulus. "And you can't expect him to be full after that little!"

"Kreacher is just doing what is being asked of him. Mistress says that Sirius can get this food two times a day for the week he is here."

"A whole _week_?" exclaimed Regulus and he could hear a gasp coming from the other side of the door. Regulus caught a malicious glint in Kreacher's eyes.

"Yes, Master Regulus. Mistress says a whole week. If Master Sirius behaves. Mistress will be down later to check on him, Mistress says, so Master Sirius better behave if he wants to get out before holidays are over."

"Promise you won't tell I was here, okay?" begged Regulus. 

The elf nodded. "Not to worry. Kreacher will not tell on Master Regulus." He then opened the door and put in the plate and water for Sirius. Sirius peeped out the door and Regulus could just make out a large bruise on the side of his face before the door was closed again.

"Why did you have to do it?" asked Regulus a little later when he had sat down beside the door and Kreacher had left. "Why can't you control yourself for  _one_  night?"

"Because I won't be put down all the time and be called a blood traitor because I was placed in Gryffindor. They keep putting down my friends as well and I am sick of it." He sighed and took a bite of the dry roll. "When they stop giving me a hard time I will do the same.”

"You know they'll never change. You should choose your battles more wisely, Sirius. The only thing you gain is more trouble for yourself. Just because you're a Gryffindor doesn't mean you have to act like one all the time. Acting without thinking, doing rash, foolhardy things. Being brave is all fine and well, but if you forget to use your brains it isn't worth a whole lot."

Sirius was quiet for a moment. “I can't wait to go back to school where I don't have to listen to their shite. This roll tastes like sawdust...” he mumbled. “I bet that bloody midget made it especially for me.”

"I'll see if I can sneak you something better for lunch. I suppose they will not let you have something else until dinner, and it probably won't be more savoury than that roll."

"Just make sure Mother is not down here when you come down. I don't want you to get in trouble because of me," said Sirius firmly and pushed the plate away. "But thanks for looking after me. You could have just let me rot in here."

"Have I ever just let you rot when you were locked away?" asked Regulus, a little offended. "Anyway, I better go before they wake up, because I value my life and health quite a lot."

**o0o0o**

Kreacher had said that Sirius was to stay in the basement for a week and depending on how particularly their parents had meant it and on how you counted the days, it would be just about a day after Christmas. Regulus couldn't bear to think of Sirius sitting imprisoned Christmas night and morning, so he picked up his courage at dinner the 23rd.

"Mother?"

"Yes, Regulus."

"When is Sirius coming out?" 

"The day after tomorrow," she said and fixed him with a stern look. "He is to remain in the basement for a week, as I said. For his behaviour he should be glad that it is only one week." She picked up her glass of wine and took a sip.

"Why do you ask, Regulus?" asked Orion.

"Just... Then he will miss Christmas," said Regulus in a small voice. "I know he deserves his punishment, but... I've never had a Christmas without him. We always go down together Christmas morning. It's tradition."

"Well, this is one he will miss. He should have thought about that before he made a scene in front of everyone," said Mrs. Black.

Orion on the other hand looked like he considered Regulus’ request. "Well, if it’s that important to you to spend Christmas Morning with him, then perhaps we could let him out tomorrow night after dinner."

Walburga did not look happy at all with her husband's idea. She put her glass down hard. "He will never learn if we let him off so easily!"

"Oh, that would be wonderful," said Regulus, setting his gaze on his father, knowing that he was the weak link. "I would be very grateful and I'm sure Sirius has had plenty of time to realise how badly he has behaved. Please, Father."

Orion ignored his wife for once. "Alright. Tomorrow evening he can come out." He called for Kreacher. "Kreacher, make sure to draw Sirius a bath when he gets out tomorrow. I’m sure he stinks."

"Thank you, Father," said Regulus calmly, hiding how happy the news made him. Emotions were not something to be displayed in excess.

Late that night when his parents had gone to bed Regulus snuck down to see his brother. "I talked Father into letting you out tomorrow night after dinner so you won't miss Christmas Morning."

“Really?" Sirius' voice sounded behind the door. "And he agreed to that?"

"Yes," beamed Regulus.

"Brilliant! One more day in this hellhole and I’ll be out. Can't wait to sit by the fire and unwrap presents with you, my favourite brother," he grinned. "If I even get any presents this year."

**o0o0o**

"You know," said Regulus as they sat watching the fire and stuffing themselves with sweets on Christmas Morning, "this is the first Christmas holiday in years where we haven't been fighting."

Sirius thought about it for a moment. "You’re right. It’s been really nice actually," he smiled. "But of course it did help that I was locked in the basement. I enjoyed you keeping me company for a whole week and taking care of me like you did. I could get used to this."

"Living in the basement?" laughed Regulus. 

"No, you twat," grinned Sirius. "Get used to not fighting with you." He smiled at his brother. "Thanks for getting me out early."

I wasn't doing it for you," said Regulus. "I was just tired of sitting in that cold basement keeping you company. That's all."

"Right. If you didn’t care, then you wouldn’t have been sitting in the cold basement in the first place."

**o0o0o**

Regulus had debated with himself for long whether to answer Remus' letter or not. He was afraid to seem eager. But finally he decided that it couldn't hurt, since nobody else knew about it. So he wrote:

_Remus_

_Thank you for your letter. I hope you are having a nice Christmas and are well again. It has not been the best one here. Sirius, the twat, got himself locked up in the basement for most of the holidays for making a giant scene at a dinner party. You know how he is. Otherwise, it has been nice having some privacy in my own room and seeing Kreacher._

_See you in the New Year,_

_R.A.B._

__


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12 – “Give Me Your Hand”**

It felt like Regulus had not seen Remus for years when he set eyes on him at platform 9 3/4 January fourth. He felt a warmth spread in his stomach, a warmth that turned to ice when Davies a moment later stepped up to Remus and kissed him. 

"Moony!" yelled Sirius and waved Remus over. To Regulus’ immense irritation Noel followed.

"Hello," said Remus, glancing at Regulus, sending him a nervous smile.

Regulus just looked away, hoping that Remus wouldn't talk to him directly. As he turned to pick up his luggage he spotted his father studying their small group with disapproval. Regulus quickly took his trunk and moved away, into the train. He found an empty compartment and settled there, hoping that whoever filled up the other seats wouldn't be too annoying. 

Remus appeared in the doorway a few minutes later. "Regulus? I was just wondering if you didn't want to come sit with us instead of maybe Nigel finding you, and I know how much he annoys you. It's just us. James, Peter, me and Sirius, so you would be more than welcome."

"Why aren't you sitting with your boyfriend?" 

Remus swallowed a lump. "He’s sitting with his friends..." Remus bit his lip and walked in to sit down. "Are... are you mad? You left before I got a chance to talk to you at the platform."

"My parents were watching," mumbled Regulus, deciding to tell part of the truth. "They don't approve of you three. Or any Gryffindor, for that matter. "

"Oh. Right. Well, as long as you didn't get in trouble." Remus smiled and tilted his head. He had missed Regulus and after their letter exchange during the holidays he had thought that maybe Regulus had softened up.

"I'm expected to keep to myself as much as I can in the Tower," said Regulus. "They prefer that I socialise only with Slytherins and Ravenclaws. Well, they prefer the same things from Sirius, but they have given up on him years ago."

"Sounds lonely," said Remus, looking concerned. "Is that how you prefer it? You‘ve been at the school for nearly five years and the only one I have really seen you talk to, apart from Sirius and myself, is Crouch. I don't know... It just seems a little lonely to me."

Regulus shrugged. "I can't act like Sirius. Someone needs to keep at least a bit of the family dignity. It was a very hard blow to my parents when I too was sorted into Gryffindor. I have to be careful not to shame them any further."

"Shame them? You're a model student and a great Quidditch player. How can they be ashamed of you?" Remus looked a little nervous before speaking again. "Do... do you want me to stay away from you? I don't want to get you into trouble with your parents, but I really like talking to you, and when you wrote me back I was really happy."

"No!" said Regulus a little too quickly. "No. You don’t have to stay away from me. Of course I can talk to people, but there's no need to act like best pals right in front of my parents. It provokes them."

The door to the compartment slid open and a bushy head popped in. "Where did you go, Moony?"

"What are you, Potter, his nanny?"

"C'mon, Moony," said James, ignoring Regulus. "We've saved you a seat."

Remus eyed Regulus. "You sure you don’t want to join us?" He noticed James' disapproving gaze but chose to ignore it.

"No thanks, I'm fine. I'm clearly not wanted," said Regulus drily, shooting James a glare. 

Remus sighed as he got up. "If you change your mind you’re welcome to drop by."

Regulus sat looking out the window as the last students were saying hurried goodbyes to their parents before getting on the train. As the train set in motion his compartment door slid open again. 

"Ah, there you are," said Barty and slumped down in the opposite seat. "Always the loner. How come you didn’t write me over the holidays? I wrote and asked if I could come visit but you never responded."

"Oh... I'm sorry. I completely forgot," Regulus lied, "because we had quite the crisis. My brother caused major uproar at a family party. He offended my uncle."

"Really?" said Barty, looking very interested. "I hope he was punished severely."

"He was locked in the basement for a week. I barely got my parents talked into letting him out Christmas Eve."

"Why on earth would you do that? He deserved it, didn’t he? What did he insult your uncle with?"

"Something about being evil and supporting the wrong people."

"Wrong people? You mean the Dark Lord?" There was a tone of deep admiration in Barty’s voice as he spoke the name. "I think he’s brilliant and what he’s doing is brilliant. When I’m old enough I want to join his ranks."

Regulus winched and looked at Barty with wide eyes. "Are you serious?”

Regulus knew Barty was fascinated with Voldemort and was spending more and more time with students who did not hide their fascination with the dark arts, such as Avery, Mulciber and Nott. Regulus was not happy about this, both because he didn't like those people and because Voldemort and his whole cause unsettled him.  

"You should join too, Regulus. We could join together! Our birthdays are not far apart.”

"I don't think so. Some of the things they do are... well, horrific. I mean, I don't like Muggles and Mudbloods and all that, but I don't want to support someone who's killing and torturing them."

"It’s for a greater cause," said Barty, a little offended. "You should at least consider it. You will make your family very proud and I bet you want that."

"My family business is my own," said Regulus curtly, turning to look out the window, signalling that the topic was over. 

"Well, I’m going to introduce you to some of my mates. I’m sure they can convince you that the Dark Lord is doing the right thing. Just give them a chance." Barty got up from his seat. "We are in the third compartment and you're welcome to join."

As soon as Barty left, a small pack of Hufflepuff girls came in and occupied the empty seats. Regulus mentally rolled his eyes. Great. So he had to sit here with a load of giggling girls?

**o0o0o**

Remus looked out the window, thinking fondly about how Regulus had told him that he still wanted to talk to him even though his parents disapproved of it.

"Daydreaming there, Moony?" asked Sirius.

“No, I'm just a little tired," Remus lied and gave a fake yawn.

"Been missing Noel, I bet," said James. "I know I’ve missed my Lily flower terribly. I'm surprised that I've survived two weeks without her, actually."

"I bet she has  _really_ missed you too," grinned Sirius, leaning back in his seat. "That’s why she didn’t answer your letters. I reckon it hurt too much for her to dwell on it. Being without you, I mean."

"She's just playing hard to get," rationalised James. "That's something girls tend to do when they're really interested in a bloke."

"I see. Then what are all the birds always flocking around me? Desperate?" Sirius grinned and winked at Remus and Peter.

"I forgot to say  _classy_  birds," added James, looking superior.

"I wouldn’t repeat that in front of Chelsea if I were you," said Sirius.

The door slid open and in stepped a moody looking Regulus. "My compartment was invaded by randy Hufflepuffs," he mumbled.

"So what are you doing here? None of your snaky friends wanted to sit with you?" asked Peter in an unusual brave move. However, the glare he received from the younger Gryffindor made him shut up and sink into his seat. 

“They kept peeking at me and giggling,” continued Regulus as he plopped down next to Remus.

"Of course they did,” said Sirius. “You’re my brother!"

Regulus snorted. "Even birds chatting _me_ up feeds your ego."

"Why didn’t you make something of it? It’s about time you start showing some interest in birds. You’re almost sixteen."

Regulus snorted again but his insides stirred uncomfortably. How long until it began to seem suspicious that he was not attracted to girls? "Why should I waste my time energy on that? I'm going to marry someone decent after school, anyway. It's unlikely that I will find a suitable bride so soon. And I might as well enjoy my freedom as long as I can. Being married is a drag, I hear."

“That’s bollocks, Regulus,” said James. “In the late twentieth century people have girl- and boyfriends before they get married, and it doesn’t have to be the same one.”

“There’s nothing wrong with sticking to traditions,” mumbled Regulus.

“More bollocks,” said Sirius. “Even our family do it nowadays. You know both Cissy and Bella had several boyfriends in school.”

"Come on, lads," said Remus, feeling like he had to help Regulus out of a clearly uncomfortable subject. "I’m sure it comes in time. Leave him be."

Regulus found a Quidditch magazine in his rucksack and let Polaris out of his crate. The cat leaped right on top of Peter’s lap and hissed menacingly into his face, raising his hackles and flexing his claws. 

"C-control your pesky feline, w-will you?" Peter stuttered and leaned as far back in his seat as he possibly could, trying to get his face out of Polaris-range.

Regulus smiled gleefully to himself. Polaris was a smart cat; so much that Regulus suspected him of being part kneazle. He wasn't sure if the cat had actually understood Peter's words to Regulus a little earlier or just sensed that it was something offensive. Either way, he was smart

Polaris hissed once more before jumping down and then onto Remus' lap where he settling, rubbing his head against the boy’s hand. Remus scratched the cat behind the ear and Polaris started purring.

"S-stupid cat," mumbled Peter and rubbed the thigh in which Polaris had sunk his claws.

"It's funny how that cat is almost like a barometer reflecting Regulus," speculated James. "The more Regulus dislikes people, the meaner the cat is to them."

"He must really like Remus then," grinned Sirius and nodded at Remus whose face turned slightly pink. 

“In fact he must looove Remus," laughed James and made a kissy mouth. 

Regulus jumped to his feet so violently that the others all started in their seats. "PUT A SOCK IN IT, POTTER! I do no such thing! I've HAD it with you immature lot!" he yelled and marched out of the compartment, sliding the door shut so violently that the glass shattered. 

"Bloody  _hell_!" gasped Peter. "He's gone completely mental!"

"It was just a joke...” said James, looking flabbergasted. 

**o0o0o**

When they got off the train Remus went to find Regulus to give him Polaris, who he had left in their compartment when he stormed out. He found him walking towards the carriages with Barty and two of his friends. The Slytherins gave Remus a scan from head to toe, looking disgusted.

"Um..." Remus said, trying to ignore their piercing eyes. "Here’s Polaris..."

"Beat it, faggot," sneered Barty.

"Thank you," mumbled Regulus as he took Polaris' cage. He was caught between the urge to defend Remus and the fear of anyone - _especially_ Remus - suspecting that he fancied him. 

One of the other Slytherins tossed a few knuts on the ground. "Here's a tip for your service. Bet you’ve never had that much money before.”

To roars of laughter, Regulus dropped his gaze for a second, feeling more ashamed of himself than he had in a long time.

"What a twat," grinned Barty as he watched Remus retreat. "And he even left the money."

**o0o0o**

Regulus had cooled down by the next morning and had decided to behave as if nothing had happened. It would only further the suspicion if he started acting crazy around Remus again, so he sat down with the Marauders at the breakfast table. 

"Nice of you to join us," said Sirius ladling some porridge onto his plate.

"Nigel is sitting at the far end so this was about the farthest I could sit from him."

"I would have thought you would be able to order him away like a house elf after you saved him from Nott and his friend," said Sirius.

"I don't order house elves around," snapped Regulus. "I ask them nicely and treat them with respect. Unlike certain others. And it just happens that asking nicely isn't something Nigel understands."

Sirius shook his head. "Yes, it’s not easy having fans. I know all about that."

**o0o0o**

Avery, Mulciber and Rosier were walking along one of the corridors, having just left the lunch table when they ran into a lone Hufflepuff student. They stopped and a grin spread across Avery's face.

"Look what we have here," he drawled. "A cute little firstie."

The girl looked up at them, hugging her books to her chest. "H-hello," she mumbled and tried to get past them, but Mulciber blocked her way.

"Where do you think you’re going?”

"J-just back to the common room."

"How do you like it here at Hogwarts?" asked Rosier in a fake friendly voice. "A big change from home?”

"It's a lot different from home," said the girl, trying to look as if she wasn’t afraid of them.

“What do you think, Evan? A little half-blood?" said Avery. "Are you a half-blood?" he continued, leering at girl.

"N-no. Both my parents are M-muggles," she stuttered, clearly recognising the trouble she was in now.

"A little Mudblood," hissed Rosier. 

"Give me your wand," ordered Mulciber, holding out his hand. 

The girl did not dare refuse him so she fished out her wand from her pocket and held it out to Mulciber with a shaking hand.

The Slytherin snapped it from her. "You're not worthy of studying magic, so I think I'll just confiscate this."

"N-no," said the girl, looking close to panic. "P-please! Give it back!"

Avery eyed Mulciber and laughed. "You know, I think she wants her wand back," he said, tapping his chin. "Maybe we should let her have it. Or even better – give her a little task to win it back. It’s only fair. Let’s take a little trip to the lake."

They set off toward the main doors, the girl following at their heels, begging for he wand back. Ignored her, they continued until they reached the lake. There Mulciber tossed the wand onto the ice. "There. If you want it so badly, then go get it. The ice isn't too thin. I think."

Leaving the distressed girl standing by the shore, the Slytherins headed back to the castle, laughing maliciously all the way. 

**o0o0o**

Regulus, who had gone for a walk to clear his head, stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a blood-curdling scream. It came from the lake. He ran to the shore and spotted someone thrashing in the water. 

"Who the bloody hell is dumb enough to go out on the ice when it has been thaw for days?" he mumbled to himself. 

Well, there was nothing for it. He couldn't just let whoever was out there die in the cold water, so he whipped out his wand and cast a hardening charm on the ice in front of him as he made his way towards the person. It was a girl, he saw as he reached her. A small one, probably a first year. 

"Give me your hand,” Regulus ordered, getting on his knees at the edge of the hole in the ice. 

With chattering teeth and wild eyes, the girl reached for Regulus, but her hand was slippery and stiff from the cold, so when Regulus tried to pull her up he lost his balance and plummeted into the water. A gasp escaped him as he felt the ice-cold water nearly paralyse his limbs. There was no time to waste. People froze to death within minutes in icy water, he knew. He took a firm hold of the girl and pushed her onto the ice with all his might. When she was up, he grabbed the edge of the ice to pull himself up, but just as he thought he had managed, something seized him from below and pulled him under. There were more hands grabbing him now and when he looked down he saw them: grindylows. Regulus struggled like mad to pull free but there just came more and more of the little bastards. If only he had had his wand, but it was in the pocket of his cloak, which he had thrown on the ice before helping up the girl. He was starting to panic. He could no longer hold his breath and the grindylows were pulling him farther and farther down. Just as he breathed in water and his vision was going blurry he saw a glimpse of bright light and felt the hands release him. 

The next thing Regulus knew, he was lying on the ice, coughing up water. Someone was kneeling next to him, slapping his back and talking to him. Remus. It was Remus’ voice. Regulus looked up at him and then spotted James and Peter pulling Sirius up from the water. He must have dived in to save Regulus.

Sirius crawled over to Regulus. “R-R-Reggie, are you ok-k-ay?” he asked through chattering teeth while Remus wrapped his brother in his cloak.

"WHAT ON EARTH -"

They looked up to spot an agitated McGonagall coming running towards them with Slughorn at her heels. There was a small flock of curious students following them. They stopped at the shore while the two professors continued onto the ice, casting hardening charms as they went.

"Professor -" Remus started.

McGonagall cut him off. "Not now, Lupin. We need to get these three to the hospital wing and out of these wet clothes!" 

Shivering, the three soaked students got to their feet, helped by Remus, Peter and the teachers. Professor McGonagall wrapped Slughorn’s cloak around the Hufflepuff girl and guided her towards the castle, the others following behind. Regulus was shivering violently and still coughing a bit from having swallowed water. He clutched on to Remus as if his life depended on it.

"What on  _earth_  were you thinking?" chided McGonagall as they walked. "Explain yourselves!"

"I... I..." the girl started, her teeth chattering. "I l-lost my w-wand and it fell onto the i-i-ice so I went to go g-get it, and then I f-f-fell through."

"It fell on the ice?" asked McGonagall sceptically. "How could it fall on the ice?"

"T-the wind t-took it," sobbed the girl.

**o0o0o**

Madam Pomfrey met them in the door to the hospital wing, looking horrified as she spotted the three soaked students. "Out of these wet clothes immediately! And put these on," she instructed and produced three sets of pyjamas. "Come now!"

Regulus hurried over to a bed and yanked the curtain shut before anybody could follow him. He was shaking so much it was difficult getting off his wet clothes, which were sticking tightly to his skin, but he would rather have frozen to death than ask for help. Finally he could slip into the pyjamas and climb under the covers, still shaking. 

"Drink this," ordered Madam Pomfrey and shoved a smoking goblet under his nose.

Regulus drank it and felt heat explode in his stomach, quickly spreading through the rest of his body. 

As soon as Sirius, who had been placed in the next bed, had downed his potion, he looked over at Regulus. "What the hell were you thinking, you bloody idiot?" he barked. "If Remus hadn’t spotted you you could have drowned!"

Remus rubbed his arm nervously. "He saved the girl, Sirius."

"He shouldn’t have gone onto the ice alone!"

"Do you think there was time to run into the castle for help?" retorted Regulus. "Do you know how fast people die in freezing water? And the grindylows would probably have taken her if I hadn't got in!"

Sirius' lips tightened but he didn’t say anything else.

Remus sat down on the edge of Regulus' bed and said in a low voice only for Regulus to hear. "He was just scared of losing you."

"Well…" mumbled Regulus, avoiding looking Remus in the eye. He felt self-conscious and vulnerable there in the hospital bed. "Do you... do you mind giving me some privacy now?" he asked, not in an unkind tone. 

It was quiet once Remus, Peter and James had left. The Hufflepuff girl had been put in a bed at the far end of the wing and been given a sleeping potion because she had been so agitated. 

Sirius gazed over at Regulus who was lying with his eyes closed. He swung his legs over the edge off his bed and slipped down. Quietly he made his way to Regulus’ bed and sat down on the edge, running a hand gently over his brother’s hair.

Regulus, who had not been sleeping, but trying to close his mind and not think about what had just happened, opened his eyes at his brother's touch. He quickly looked around to check that they were alone and since he saw that they were, he didn't push the hand away.

"You really scared me, Reggie," Sirius said, his voice a little unsteady. "When you went under.... I don’t know what I would have done had I not been able to save you." He took a long slow breath. "You’re my baby brother and I’m supposed to protect you. I didn’t mean to scold you before, but I just got so scared."

“Well, I'm not that easy to get rid of, you know," said Regulus, swallowing a lump. “But I'm sort of glad you were there. Those bloody grindylows..."

"Yeah... they really wanted to drag you to the bottom," Sirius said and kept stroking his brother’s hair. "Are you warm enough? Want me to get you another blanket?"

"I'm fine," mumbled Regulus. Damn. He had been determined not to cry, but the bloody tears were welling up in his eyes. Hoping that Sirius wouldn't see them, he leaned forward, burying his head in his brother's lap and tried to cry silently. 

Sirius just ran a hand down his back, trying to comfort him. He had noticed the tears but decided not to comment on it, knowing how proud Regulus was. After a few minutes he gently pulled him up in a sitting position and hugged him tightly.

"I thought that was it," whispered Regulus. "I was sure I was going to die... They wouldn't let go... I couldn't hold my breath anymore..."

"I’ll never let you get hurt," said Sirius, gently rubbing Regulus’ back. "I’ll always look out for you even if it may not seem like it at times, but you’re my brother and I love you." He smiled a little to himself. It had been years since he had told his brother that he loved him.

Regulus supposed he knew that Sirius loved him, but it still spread warmth throughout his body hearing it said. "Me too..." he mumbled. 

Sirius kissed his hair and then gently lay him back down, pulling the covers over him and tugging him in like he always use to do when they were kids. "You better get some rest. You were in the cold water for a long time and you swallowed lake water so I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re not feeling too well."

"May I disturb?" sounded a kind voice.

They both turned their heads and saw Professor Dumbledore standing a few yards away. He could obviously move very quietly. They had not heard him come down the aisle.

"Sure," said Sirius.

Dumbledore drew up a chair and sat down. "Minerva told me what happened. Are you boys alright?"

They both nodded. 

“That was a very brave thing you did for young Miss Adams, Regulus. And you too, Sirius, jumping in to save your brother. The Sorting Hat definitely placed you two in the right house." The old man winked at Regulus.

"I wasn't that brave. But I couldn't just stand and watch her drown," mumbled Regulus.

"You were very brave, Regulus. You risked your own life when you could have just called for help. And when you fell in, you prioritised getting her up first. That is bravery."

Regulus looked down at his hands, feeling his ears go red. He wasn't interested in being a hero. Sirius was the one with the hero-complex. Regulus didn’t like all the attention, even if it was admiration. Being a successful Seeker was plenty for him.

"You can both be proud of yourselves and I’m awarding Gryffindor 50 points to you both for your courage," said Dumbledore.

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius said with a wide smile on his lips.

"Thank you, Professor," echoed Regulus quietly. 

Dumbledore stayed for a few more minutes until Madam Pomfrey ushered him out so the boys could get some much-needed rest. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13 – “** **I've Always Thought He Was a Right Prat”**

Barty did not look pleased when Regulus ran into him the next day. "You saved a Mudblood? The lads are not going to like that. It’s going to look bad on your application."

"I'm not going to write an application," answered Regulus. "I thought I told you that. And what would you have done - let her drown?"

Barty shrugged. "Would have been one less Mudblood trying to study magic."

"It would have been as good as murder."

“A filthy Mudblood is better off on the bottom of the lake, and I thought you felt the same way."

"I told you I don't approve of murder and that's why I don't want to be a Death Eater."

Barty's grin faded. "You would make your family proud if you joined."

"And what about _your_ family? What would your father think if he knew about your plans? He's head of the DMLE."

"I don’t care about my bloody father,” growled Barty. “I’m sure the Dark Lord will welcome me with open arms. He will be more pleased with me than my father ever was."

Regulus swallowed nervously. He did not want to support Barty's cause but he didn't want to make an enemy of him either. Well, they were only fifteen. Barty could easily come to change his mind before he got old enough to join Voldemort’s ranks, so Regulus just shrugged. "Well, my father has never been very supportive of me either, so I know how you feel..."

"You would fit right in, Regulus. We would both get the respect and recognition we deserve," said Barty solemnly. "You should meet with me and the lads later. Mulciber, Avery, Nott. A few more. Then they can share their opinion as well about the cause."

Nott? Regulus snorted. Nott would have nothing to share that Regulus would be interested in, that was for sure.

**o0o0o**

Remus told himself not to worry. That it was nothing. Noel had said that he wished to talk to him alone, and the way he had said it had made Remus' blood run cold.

Noel let him in at the entrance to the Ravenclaw common room. "Come, let's go to my dorm. We can be alone there.” They sat down on Noel's bed and he studied Remus with a serious expression. "Remus... We've been going out for four months now and I can't deny that I fancy you a lot, but I can't help feeling that you don't feel quite the same way about me."

Remus felt the knot in the pit of his stomach harden. "I… I like you a lot," he said and rubbed his arm nervously. Had Noel noticed him looking at Regulus? "I’ve just been… confused… you're my first boyfriend and maybe I have just been a little nervous..."

"I can't help feeling that you're not quite into it. Not truly committed. Like you're not completely there when we're together. Can you honestly deny that?"

Remus dropped his head and shook it. He wanted to be honest with Noel, but he also didn’t want to hurt his feelings. He liked Noel and enjoyed being with him. If he could just let go of his feelings for Regulus...

Noel sighed. "So... were you happy to just go along with this and not say something?"

Remus looked up. "I just thought it might get better along the way. That I would get more into it... It’s not that I don't fancy you, Noel, because I do."

"Then what's the problem? I don't understand. If you like me, then why can't you give more of yourself?"

"I don’t know," said Remus and dropped his head again. "I just had…have… feelings for someone else also and it’s messing up my head. I’m so confused..."

"Ah," said Noel, nodding to himself. “I understand. Who is it? Is it Black? Of course it is..." he continued mostly to himself. 

"B-Black?" Remus said and looked up in shock. Had it really been so obvious that he fancied Regulus? If Noel had noticed, then who else had?

"Well, you spend most of your time with him, I see how it can be hard not to fall for him. Half the birds here send longing gazes after him. What a fool I've been. I can't measure up to his looks and charm."

"Sirius?" exclaimed Remus and then shook his head. "No. It’s not Sirius." He sighed. "I haven’t acted on my feelings and I won’t either because this person is not into me. But I’m really sorry that I didn’t tell you this sooner. I just thought it would go away and I really wanted this to work because I like you a lot."

Noel was quiet for a while, then said, "Well, I guess this is it, then. I don't want to feel like a second choice. I hope you understand."

Remus kept his head down, forcing himself to not cry. He had hoped it would not have come to this, but who was he kidding? It wasn’t fair to Noel. "I understand..." he mumbled and got up from his seat. “And I’m sorry.”

"Hey..." said Noel. “It doesn't mean we can't still be friends."

Remus forced a smile.

"And Remus?” said Noel as Remus stepped into the hall. “A piece of advice: Try to get this boy out of your head. It's no good wasting time being in love with a straight bloke. Believe me. I’ve been there."

**o0o0o**

"Oh, dear! What happened to you?" asked The Fat Lady when Remus stopped in front of her portrait. He just stammered, "P-puffy pumpkin" and the Fat Lady sighed and swung aside to reveal the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. He hurried through the common room, ignoring his friends’ beaming hellos.

“What’s wrong with Moony?" said James, worriedly. "Should we go talk to him?"

"I'll do it," said Sirius. "You lads wait here.

"Moony?" sounded Sirius' gentle voice as he closed the door behind him and walked up to Remus, who was lying face down on his four-poster. Sirius sat down and put a tentatively hand on his friend's back. "What's wrong?"

"We… we broke up," Remus sobbed and dug his face deeper into the pillow. His chest hurt. The worst part was that Noel was right. Remus needed to forget about Regulus because there was no way he would ever consider going out with him and now Remus had lost his boyfriend because he hadn’t been able to let the feelings go.

"Blimey..." said Sirius. He hadn't seen that coming. "Why? I thought you lads were doing fine!"

"I thought so too," snivelled Remus. "But he thinks I’m not enough into him and he didn’t want to be into me if I wasn’t just as much into him..." He wasn’t going to tell Sirius that he had feelings for his brother. It would only make things worse.

"You weren't enough into him? What does he want - a bloody proposal?"

Remus just shrugged, hugging his pillow tighter.

"I'm gonna hex that wanker far into next month," said Sirius. "Make him regret hurting you."

"No. Please don't," said Remus and looked up, his face wet with tears. "I don’t want that... he said we could remain friends and I'd like that in time, but that will be hard if you hex him."

**o0o0o**

Regulus eyed Remus' empty seat in the Great Hall at breakfast the next morning.

"Where's Lupin?" he asked Sirius. 

"Sleeping, I reckon," said Sirius, generously shovelling some scrambled eggs onto his plate. "Noel broke up with him, so he isn’t feeling too hot."

"Wha-" said Regulus, his brows disappearing under his fringe. “Why would he do that?"

"Who knows," said James.

"Well, I've always thought he was a right prat," said Regulus as if this proved his point. 

"Well, Remus is really upset so he took the day off," said Sirius. "And you can moan all you want, Reggie, but Remus was happy with Noel or else he wouldn’t be this upset."

"Hey, Black. That was brilliant what you did yesterday. Lucky for Claire that you saw her."

Regulus looked up to see a couple of Hufflepuffs smiling at him. The news had spread to the whole school, of course. They were the fifth to come congratulate him at the breakfast table. 

Regulus just hummed something and shrugged. He hated all the attention. 

"Seems you have become quite popular," grinned Sirius and took a bite of toast. He noticed Emmeline Vance, a very pretty fifth year, a little further down the table smiling at Regulus and twirling a lock of hair around her finger as she studied him. "Getting popular with the girls too, I see."

Regulus rolled his eyes and mumbled, "I could do without that...”

**o0o0o**

Of course Regulus didn't want Remus to be unhappy but he still couldn't help being in very good mood as he headed for his first lesson. 

At Arithmancy, Emmeline (the girl from the breakfast table) sat down in Regulus’ line of vision and smiled at him whenever he looked up.

"I think someone fancies you," said Barty and nudged Regulus in the side, nodding in the girl’s direction. "I myself wouldn’t go out with a Gryffindor, but if I _had_ to, you know, if someone put a knife to my throat, she wouldn’t be too bad a choice at all. Not at all."

Regulus shrugged. "I hadn't noticed. You can have her if you want."

"You’re a strange bloke," said Barty. "She’s bloody hot – Gryffindor or not – and you don’t care. One would think something was wrong with you."

Regulus' insides turned to ice. Did people think he was odd? Had others noticed that he had no interest in girls? What if someone began suspecting that he was gay? Or started rumours?

Next time Emmeline gained eye contact with Regulus, she gave him a wink and leaned forward on her desk in an attempt to look more appealing. Barty noticed and sent Regulus a grin. "Might be that you’re not interested, but she bloody hell is!”

"So, what's your next lesson?" asked Regulus when Professor Vector had let them go. 

"Charms," said Barty. 

"I have Defence," said Regulus. "Both are on the third floor so we can walk together."

"Good idea," said Barty and swung his bag over his shoulder.

They took a shortcut through a unicorn-ornamented tapestry, climbed a steep set of stairs and re-appeared from behind another tapestry on the third floor. There, unfortunately, they were cornered by Avery, Mulciber, Rosier and Nott.

"Hey, Black," said Nott, glowering at Regulus. "I heard you saved that Mudblood. What are you? A Mudblood lover?"

"Of course I'm not. You don't have to love somebody to do something for them," said Regulus, eying Nott with disgust. The two of them had never seen eye-to-eye.

"Why did you have to do anything for her at all?" asked Mulciber, walking closer to Regulus, as did Avery on the other side.

Regulus took a step back, bumping against the wall.

"Come on lads," said Barty. "Regulus didn't know it was a Mudblood. Otherwise he would have acted differently."

"No, he wouldn't," said Nott and narrowed his eyes. "He’s a Mudblood lover and a blood traitor."

 “I'm NOT a blood traitor!" said Regulus through clenched teeth.

"You risked valuable pure blood for a worthless little Mudblood whelp,” said Rosier.

“I didn't have time to stop and ask about her blood status! And I wasn’t planning on dying for her or anything."

"You should know by now who to associate with. Not a filthy Mudblood Hufflepuff like that."

"Well, there is nothing to do about it now," said Barty and stepped in between them and Regulus.

"Why are you covering for him, Crouch?" asked Rosier. "Is he your boyfriend or something?"

"Ew, no!" spat Barty. "He’s my friend and we have plans to join the Dark Lord’s ranks together when we finish school!”

Mulciber raised an eyebrow. "Is that right, Black? You want to be a Death Eater?"

Regulus didn't answer. He didn't want to say yes, but he also knew he had to weigh his words carefully. These boys were dangerous, especially if they truly were aspiring Death Eaters.   
  
"He's a Gryffindor," scoffed Nott. "I doubt the Dark Lord would accept one of those."

"But he _is_ the second heir to the House of Black," speculated Avery.

"That’s true…" said Mulciber, eying Regulus for a moment.

"He will be a great Death Eater," said Barty and swung an arm around Regulus' neck, smiling widely.

Regulus got a strong urge to push Barty's arm away, but he didn't. He knew Barty was the reason he wasn't in deep trouble right now.

"So that business about the Mudblood bitch, that was just a mistake, was it, Black?" asked Mulciber. 

"Like I said, I didn't know who she was," said Regulus. "I just didn't fancy letting a child drown."

"You will have enough time to kill Mudbloods later," said Avery and swung his bag over his shoulder. "Come on, lads. Let's get to class."

"See?" said Barty. "They will come to accept you just fine!"

Regulus wasn't sure he wanted to be accepted, and for one he knew Nott in particular would never accept him. He could not have forgotten what Regulus had done to him last year when he and Wilkes had tormented Nigel. And that wasn't his and Regulus' first time at each other's throat, either. But Mulciber and Avery's opinions weighed the most, Regulus knew. They were the oldest. 

**o0o0o**

Remus was sitting alone in the common room when Regulus came in to get his broom. He sat with a book in his lap, just staring into the fire. His eyes were a little red and puffy still, and his hair looked as if he had just gotten out of bed. Regulus stopped hesitantly. He didn't like seeing Remus sad, but what could he do? "Hey..." he said, leaning against an armchair. 

"Oh… hello," said Remus, turning his head.

Regulus stood toying with a loose piece of stuffing on the top of the chair, not knowing what to say. "You... don't look so good. Getting ill again?"

"A little bit," said Remus and pulled the blanket covering his legs further up. "Probably be better tomorrow." He turned his head and gazed into the fire again, feeling a knot form in his stomach as he thought about Noel.

"Okay. Well, then... Hope you feel better," Regulus said and went upstairs to get his broom.  

The trio came up a little later "Hey, Moony," said Sirius as James went to get his equipment. "Why don't we go watch Prongs and Reggie play? You shouldn't sit in here all day.”

Remus finally averted his eyes from the fire to look at Sirius who was squatting next to his chair. "I don’t know, Padfoot," he sighed, although knowing that he was going to end up letting Sirius drag him off.

**o0o0o**

Regulus found it difficult to concentrate during training. He kept glancing at the stands where Remus was sitting with Sirius and Peter. It was a beautiful, clear day, and a good handful of students had come down to watch the practise. Emmeline, the girl who had been eying Regulus all day, had come down as well with a couple of girlfriends. They sat behind the three Marauders, so close that they could hear most of what they were saying. 

"He's such a great flyer,” sighed Emmeline. 

"And bloody cute," said Miranda Sorensen. "Just like his brother." She giggled as Sirius, who had clearly heard her, flipped his hair and stretched his arms so he wouldn’t go unnoticed. 

Remus dropped his head and wished he could retreat to his bedroom and hide under the covers.

“But he’s so small,” said a third girl. “I wouldn’t want to go out with a bloke who’s shorter and lighter than me.”

“Have you ever heard the expression _It’s not the size that matters_ -” started Dorcas Meadows, sending the other girls into fits of giggles.

"Have you noticed how he keeps looking this way?" asked Emmeline. "I think he's watching me. Do you think I should ask him out?"

"You should!" said her Miranda. "I bet he will say yes. And you’re right. He is definitely eyeing you up."

"He always says no, though, when girls ask him out," said Marlene McKinnon. "Very rudely sometimes."

"Well... Maybe he just hasn't been mature enough to be interested in girls," said Miranda. "But he must be getting there. He must be at least fifteen now. Maybe even sixteen. Hey, Sirius," she shouted. "How old is your brother?"

"He’s fifteen," said Sirius and flashed the girls a grin as he turned in his seat. "Sixteen in a few months." He brushed his hair out of his eyes and made the girls giggle again before he turned to Remus. "Would be brilliant for my brother to finally get a girlfriend, yeah?"

"Yeah," mumbled Remus, looking down at his feet. "Brilliant..."

Regulus had not noticed the girls at all, only Remus. He felt very strange. On one hand he was happy that Noel had broken up with him, but on the other he felt sorry for him and wished there was something he could do to make him feel better.  
  
"Good practise, lads," said James as they all got off their brooms and headed off the pitch. "Try to be a little more focused, though, Regulus, yes?"

"Yeah," mumbled Regulus, knowing that that the criticism was fair. 

When Regulus exited the changing room, Emmeline came up to him. "Hi," she smiled, cocking her head. "You did really well at practice."

She stepped up close to him and Regulus took a few steps back, hitting the wall behind him. "Er... thanks," he said, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable about how close the girl stood. Did she have no sense of personal space?

"I was wondering if you would like to go out with me on the next Hogsmeade trip?" she smiled and hooked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I noticed how you looked my way at practice so I figured I would make it easy for you and take the initiative."

"I wasn't looking at you," said Regulus.

The Marauders were standing at a distance, watching. 

"If he turns her away I don't care what you say, Padfoot, then he really is mental. Emmeline is so hot it makes me want to cry," moaned peter, his voice full of envy.

"You weren't? Then who were you looking at?" she asked surprised. 

Regulus opened his mouth and raked his mind. "My brother."

"Oh... okay. But will you go out with me? I promise we will have a good time."

In situations like this, Regulus would normally rudely chase off the girl, but Emmeline’s self-confident forwardness threw him off balance. "Um, no. I'm too busy with my OWLs."

"Oh, come on," she said and touched his arm. "You're a bright bloke. You can catch up, and aren't you going to Hogsmeade, anyway? What difference does it make if you go alone or with me? You won’t regret it."

Regulus automatically jerked away from her touch. "No, I was planning on staying home studying."

She sighed. "You know… It seems like you're not interested in dating anyone and it's getting a little weird." She crossed her arms and tilted her head. "Are you even into girls?"

"What?" said Regulus, feeling the blood drain from his face. "Of course I am! But education is more important than girls. There will be plenty of time for that later."

She looked a little irritated. "Your brother is doing fine with both girls and school so I am sure you could do it just as easily.

"They sure are talking a lot," said Sirius. "But Reggie doesn’t seem all that interested."

"You think?" said Remus, a little too eagerly.

Regulus bit his lip, unable to decide what to do. He really did not feel like going with this girl, but what she had said about doubting him being into girls had scared him. Did others think like that as well? Maybe he should go with Emmeline, just to prove people wrong. She wasn't that bad, he thought. She was usually nice and she was pure-blood, so the Slytherins wouldn't find it too problematic. And another important thing – she was quite short, so he wouldn’t look stupid next to her. "Well," he said. "I suppose I could take one day off."

"Brilliant!" she beamed and did a small jump of excitement. "It’s a date then!"

"Blimey," said Sirius. "I think my baby brother just got his first date!"

Remus felt his heart drop. Could this day get any worse?

**o0o0o**

Regulus had always looked forward to the Hogsmeade visits, but not this time. He just wanted it over with and hoped Emmeline didn't have anything big planned. She was waiting for him in the common room and jumped up, beaming, when he came down the stairs. Without warning she took his hand and started walking out.

At Hogsmeade they both sat down at The Three Broomsticks and ordered a couple of butterbeers. She had suggested Madam Puddifoot’s but Regulus had flat out refused to go there.

"So…" she smiled and leaned in over the table. “How come you’re so different from your brother? You’re so aloof and turn everybody down."

"Just because I'm not a player, people think I'm weird? I just have class. I don't fancy running around frolicking with the opposite sex every chance I get."

"I know and I really like that about you," she smiled and placed her hand on his. "But I was just wondering why you hadn’t had at least one girlfriend."

"I don't know. There hasn't been anyone interesting enough, I suppose," said Regulus, willing himself to not move his hand away. He had to act like a normal boy on a date with a girl.

"Well, if you’re interested," she said, noticing that he didn’t move his hand away. "Then I’d like to go out with you and see where it leads?" 

"You _are_ going out with me," he said, a little puzzled. "We are here now, aren't we? I was under the impression this was a date."

"I mean more dates, silly," she laughed and weaved their fingers together. "I think you’re wonderful. The way you catch the Snitch every time. Wicked. You look so handsome when you fly through the air like you own the entire pitch."

"Well, thank you," said Regulus, feeling his ears go red. He should probably say something flattering to her too, but he didn't know what. "You, um, have very soft hands," was the first thing that came to mind. 

"Thank you," she beamed and brushed her long chestnut hair back over her shoulder.

Just then the Marauders walked in and Remus spotted Regulus at the table, gaining eye contact with him for a moment. It hurt to see him with Emmeline, although he supposed he should be happy for him. He just wished that it were him in her place.

Regulus had no idea what to do or say so he let Emmeline take all the initiative. "So what now?" he said after they had been sitting in the pub for half an hour.

"Well," she smiled and tilted her head. "We could go for a walk. Get some alone time. There is a house not long from here which is said to be haunted. I’d love to see it."

"Oh, the Shrieking Shack. That's a little boring," tried Regulus, not liking the thought of being alone with her. 

"I always wanted to go there. See the inside of it."

Regulus found it hard to believe that Emmeline had never seen the Shrieking Shack. "You can't go in. It's boarded up. But I suppose we could go see it from outside..."

"Really? I wonder why that is. But yes, let’s go look at it. Maybe we will get to hear the ghost." She took his hand and got up.

He pulled his hand out of her grasp to open the door, pretending it was stuck so he needed both hands to open it, and hoped she wouldn't take it immediately again. She did, however, and he was stuck holding hands all the way to the Shrieking Shack. 

As they stood looking at the building she took a hold of his arm as if scared.

"Wow... it sure looks spooky." She listened but couldn’t hear anything. "I can’t hear the ghost. I wish we could. I only know the ghosts at Hogwarts and they don't scream like this one is supposed to do.

"It's probably just a rumour," shrugged Regulus. "Well, it's getting a little late. How about getting back to the school?"

"Already?" she turned to face him, then leaned in closer and puffed her lips towards him.

"Um, yes." Then it hit him - if they went back now they would be walking all alone since the other students weren't likely to leave until at least four. "No, wait. I need to check out the book store." Regulus turned just as she tried to kiss him.

"Well, I guess we will go to the bookstore then," she sighed and followed him.

**o0o0o**

Regulus disappeared to his dorm as soon as dinner was over, relieved to get away from Emmeline. Why had he not picked a shy girl? Emmeline was so pushy. She had tried to kiss him numerous times and he had finally had to give in. He had kept him mouth shut, however. No tongue, thank you very much. It had not been enjoyable at all, the way a first kiss was supposed to be.

Remus sat in a chair in front of the fire, listening to Sirius go on about how his brother had finally started dating.

"I have to admit I was getting rather nervous for him. Five years and not a single date!"

"What, did you expect him to start dating at eleven?" James laughed. "A lot of blokes don't date till they're fifteen."

"Yeah, but that's not because they aren't interested before that," said Miles, who was sitting with them. "It's because they're too shy or too ugly," he grinned. "A normal bloke jumps at the chance when he gets offers from hot birds."

"And it’s not like he didn’t get offers," grinned Sirius. "I mean, he _is_ my brother!”

Remus bit his lip, trying to block out what they were saying. He had just started feeling better, but then he had seen Regulus kiss Emmeline.

"So," said Emmeline's friends, as they caught her after they had come back from the wizarding town. 

"How was it?" asked Dorcas.

"Did he kiss you?" asked Marlene.

"I bet he's a great kisser," sighed Miranda. 

Emmeline tilted her head a little and thought for a second. "He kissed me, yes, but it was kind of... stiff. He was like a plank of wood and he quickly ended it and went to his dorm."

"He was probably just nervous," said Dorcas as they sat down in the corner of the common room. "I mean, you're the first he's gone out with, aren't you? You know he's a lot shier than his brother."

"I know, but I had hoped he would have stayed down here with me and maybe practice kissing a bit more." Emmeline rested her chin on her palm and sighed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14 – “Big Brother at Work”**

Emmeline followed Regulus back to Gryffindor Tower after their last lesson the following day, and Regulus decided to ignore his impulse to escape to his dorm and instead sat down with her in the common room. It would seem strange if he avoided her. People needed to see that he had a girlfriend now. 

"How were your lessons?" she smiled and scooted closer to him so she was almost sitting on his lap.

Before Regulus could answer, Remus walked in and spotted them sitting together. He sent them a quick nod and hurried off to his dorm.

"Poor Remus,” said Emmeline. “He’s been so sad after Davies broke up with him."

"Yes, well... He's probably better off," said Regulus, looking longingly after Remus. He would a thousand times rather have sat with him half on his lap than Emmeline. If they had been alone in the room, of course. And Remus had not been a boy. It could never happen, Regulus knew that. He would have to get used to being with a girl.

"Perhaps…" said Emmeline. She leaned in to kiss Regulus but when he just sat there motionless, she sighed. “Look, you have to make an effort because right now it’s like kissing a wall."

"Do we have to kiss all the time?" asked Regulus. "We barely know each other."

"That’s what couples do! You don’t like kissing?"

“Of course," Regulus said quickly. “I just think the honourable thing to do is to get a bit more acquainted first. So - tell me about your family?"

"Well, both my parents work at the Ministry for Magic." Emmeline talked about her family and home for a good ten minutes before she stopped. "What about your family?"

"Well, I'm sure you know about the House of Black. We're one of the oldest and most sophisticated families in the wizarding world. You've probably heard negative things from my brother, who doesn't really appreciate what he's got. Being the heir to the House of Black is a great honour."

"Yes, I heard he doesn’t fancy that status very much," she said. "But if he doesn’t want it, can’t you just take over instead?" She sent Regulus a dreaming gaze as if she was already planning to be by his side forever.

"That would be completely inappropriate! It's tradition that that the oldest son take over."

"But what if he doesn’t want to? I mean, then you would step in, would you not?"

"Yes, of course, but... That would be a shame for the family. I'm sure Sirius will do his duty when the time comes."

"Maybe," she said. "So what do you want to work with after school?"

"Well… I’m keeping my options open. Depends on the OWLs I get. And NEWTs, of course."

She inched a little closer and placed a hand on his thigh. 

Regulus gulped and quickly thought of something else to say. "What about you? Know what you want to do?”

"Probably work for the Ministry like my parents but I'm not sure." She gave his thigh a squeeze and put her head on his shoulder.

Sirius, James and Peter had all sat down a little further away, working on an Astronomy chart, but all occasionally glanced curiously at the couple by the fire. 

"Argh," groaned Peter. "If he doesn't soon start feeling her up, I'm going over there to smack him upside the head. She's got the best knockers I've ever seen, and she’s shoved them right up under his nose!"

Sirius grinned and turned to Peter. "I would like to see you smack him. You're terrified of him!"

"I am not!" said Peter in a high-pitched voice that made several students look up.

Emmeline was now sliding her hand up Regulus' thigh. He suddenly jumped up. "Err... have to go to the bathroom," he said and practically stormed out of the common room. 

Sirius turned his head and then laughed. "Guess I have to have the talk with him soon."

"What do you need to talk to him about?" asked Peter obliviously. 

"The  _talk,_ Peter," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "About sex and girls, in case you’re still not getting what I’m saying."

"Oh,  _that_. Your parents didn't have it with him?"

"My parents?” said Sirius, raising his eyebrows. “I can barely imagine them having even _had_ sex. I have a suspicion that some kind of ancient magic was involved in Reggie’s and my conception."

"Poor you,” grinned James, “You had to learn everything by yourself.”

Peter, who had been snickering at Sirius’ comment, now erupted in loud giggles.

“Exactly,” grinned Sirius. “Lucky for Reggie, he has a big brother to give him a few pointers.”

Regulus finally came back, ten minutes later. Emmeline scooted over so he could sit down next to her. "You were gone for a while," she said, studying him closely.

"There was a queue," lied Regulus.

When she laid her head against his shoulder and her hand ventured onto his thigh again, he suddenly said, "How about we do some studying together? I could help you with that Potions assignment."

He knew Emmeline was weak in Potions and hoped she would be grateful for some help and forget about cuddling for a while. 

"I'd rather just sit here with you,” she said but as he shifted away from her touch, she sighed. "Alright, let's do that then."

Emmeline settled for sitting close to Regulus while they were working, once in a while touching him suggestively. He didn't avoid it, thinking that this wasn't too bad. When they were done he excused himself and disappeared to his dorm. 

"Well, there's your chance, Padfoot," said James, nodding in the direction of the dorms.

"Yup," said Sirius and got up. "Big brother at work.” He flashed them a grin and hurried up the stairs.

**o0o0o**

Sirius walked in without knocking and found his brother sitting on the edge of his bed. "Your date isn’t moving along too smoothly, is it?" He sat down next to Regulus. "You know, she fancies you quite a lot.”

"Really? I hadn’t noticed," said Regulus sardonically. "She's very pushy. What's wrong with taking things slowly?"

"I think you picked the wrong bird for taking things slow with, Reggie," Sirius laughed. "What are you waiting for, anyway? You know how it works with birds, don’t you?" He eyed him with a grin on his face. "Good thing you have a big brother who can give you a few pointers." He leaned back. "You see, girls like Emmeline are pushy because they really want you to take some initiative. Kiss her and feel her up.”

"Well, thank you for the advice," said Regulus, hoping that this was as far as Sirius had planned on going, but knowing his brother, he feared that it was not. 

"If you really want to make her happy you should take her to your dorm and have a bit of fun. I'm not saying you should go all the way yet, but a little feeling up under the clothes is a good way to start and when you do decide to go further you can come find me and I'll give you details."

"What?" said Regulus, suddenly feeling terrified. "I'm not going to have sex with her!"

"Why not? Too soon?" asked Sirius a little puzzled. "I did it when I had just turned fifteen and you’re almost sixteen."

"Yes, but you're a..." Regulus was about to say _slut_ , but decided not to hurt his brother. "You're more mature than I am. And I'm not going to have sex with her ever, because I'm not going to marry her."

"Sirius raised his eyebrows. “Please don’t tell me you’re saving yourself for marriage? There is nothing wrong with testing the field. Get some experience before you get married so you can really satisfy your wife."

 “Yes, I’m saving myself for marriage,” said Regulus, feeling his ears burn red. “It's the right thing to do. It shouldn't just be the girl."

Sirius shook his head and sighed. "That’s bullocks, Reggie. Times have changed. A woman will appreciate that you’ve learned something, and she will most likely not be innocent either. I bet Emmeline knows a thing or two and from the looks of it she’s willing to teach you a couple of tricks."

Regulus swallowed. "Well, it's a private matter, and I don't need any instructions whether or not I decide to do it."

"Just living up to my big brotherly duties," said Sirius. "But I can tell you that girls really like it if you cup their knockers while you use your other hand for other stuff. You know, between the legs. Or better yet - use your mouth." 

"W-what?" gulped Regulus. "M-my  _mouth_? What do you mean?"

"Well, you can use your month on the knockers. That’s really nice," said Sirius and waved his hand up and down. "Or between the legs. Drives birds crazy."

"D-down _there_?" said Regulus, shocked. “I’m certainly not going to do that! Sounds very unhygienic!"

"Just use your fingers then. It’s good for her too."

Regulus looked away, hoping Emmeline did not expect him to be doing anything of the sort, and inwardly cursing his brother for planting a very unpleasant image of himself doing these things to his own girlfriend. 

"Well, if you need any advice about _anything_ about sex, you can always come to me," said Sirius and patted Regulus’ shoulder before getting up.

Regulus snorted. As if he was ever going to ask Sirius about sex...

**o0o0o**

After Potions the next day, Slughorn asked Regulus to wait. To Regulus' annoyance, Emmeline stayed behind as well, holding his hand.

"Ah, Mr. Black, you and lovely Miss Vance have become an item, I see," smiled the professor. "You're coming to my party next weekend, I hope? And as you know, you're always welcome to bring a date."

Emmeline beamed at Regulus and laid her head on his shoulder. "Oh, that would be brilliant! We are going, aren’t we?" She looked expectantly at Regulus.

"Yes... Yes of course," mumbled Regulus. 

"Wonderful," beamed Slughorn, clapping his hands together. "Oh, and do try to talk you brother into coming for once, won’t you?"

**o0o0o**

Remus was sitting with Sirius when Regulus walked in a little later. To Remus's relief, Emmeline was not with him. He was getting rather tired of her hanging on Regulus all the time, even though he knew it was wrong to be jealous of her.

"Slughorn asked me to beg you come to his next Slug Party," said Regulus offhandedly, knowing that Sirius would never agree.

Sirius looked up. "Why would I do that? He only wants me to come for my family name.

"Lily is coming," said Regulus, casting a glance at James, smirking. "I wonder if she plans on bringing a date."

"Little brat," mumbled James as Regulus walked away. 

**o0o0o**

The Slug Party was not too bad. Regulus was used to playing the role at posh parties. Emmeline didn't try to snog him too blatantly because this was not that kind of party. She wore a beautiful dress and had spent hours on her hair. She looked absolutely stunning - even Regulus could see that - and drew the attention of most of the other boys, and in a way it made Regulus feel proud that she was _his_ date.

"Oh, there you are, Regulus," sounded professor Slughorn's voice. "I have a guest I want you to meet: Courtney Wilfred, Puddlemere United's Seeker."

"Oh," said Regulus and excitedly followed Slughorn, Emmeline hanging on his arm. 

Slughorn always had important and interesting people from the outside coming to his parties. Often old students who had made something of themselves, but also other people, even foreigners. 

"Hello, Regulus,” said Courtney Wilfred when Slughorn introduced them. “Professor Slughorn has told me about you. Says you're a great Seeker and an excellent student."

"Well, I do my best. I'm happy to meet you, ma'am, I've been a Puddlemere fan since I was little," said Regulus, shaking her hand.

"It's always nice to meet a fan," she smiled.

Emmeline, who was not that much of a Quidditch fan, quickly got bored by the conversation. "Regulus? I’m going to go talk to some of the others. Want to come?"

"Well, why don't you do that, dear," said Regulus. "I will come join you in a little while.”

Emmeline sighed and left, taking another glass of champagne on the way. 

"Your girlfriend, I reckon," Courtney smiled and took a glass herself. "You make a good couple." She took a sip of her champagne. "So you want to be a professional Seeker? Slughorn says you have the talent."

"Oh, I don't know if I would be good enough for that." said Regulus. “The competition is fierce, I hear. Anyway, my parents would never allow it. They expect me to get a prestigious traditional job."

"My parents were sceptical as well, but when they saw me play my first professional game they were convinced." She put a hand on his shoulder. "You should do what you want to do with your life and not get stuck with something your parents think is best for you. But you're still young. You will figure it out. "

When Regulus didn't think he could stretch it any longer, he went to find Emmeline, who was standing with a couple of Ravenclaw students as well as Rosier, who was clearly trying to chat her up. 

Regulus, who did not like the Slytherin, especially after the way he had talked to him after he had saved the little girl, eyed the opportunity to get one over him. So he walked up to his girlfriend, wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her away from Rosier, and kissed her. "How are you, darling? Sorry, Courtney Wilfred was reluctant to let me go."

Emmeline beamed and put her arms around his neck. "It's alright. I know how much you love Quidditch so naturally you would want to talk to her.”

It quickly became clear to Regulus that Emmeline was getting drunk. "How many of those have you had?" he asked, pointing to her glass of champagne. He had seen her take three, and she had probably taken at least another one while he was talking to Wilfred. 

"Just a couple, darling," she smiled and let a hand run through his hair. "I can handle a few more." She leaned in and kissed him.

"I think you've had enough," said Regulus. "We're not even supposed to drink at school; you know that, so you raving about drunk is not a good idea. It's lucky for Slughorn that Dumbledore turns a blind eye to him serving champagne to students at his parties." Regulus himself had only had one glass. That was what his parents usually allowed him, and that was what he automatically stuck to. 

Slughorn had hired a couple of musicians and suddenly there was music coming from a small stage at the end wall. The instruments were piano, cello and violin.

"Ooh!" said Emmeline. "Let's dance!"

Regulus nodded and followed her to the dance floor. He was a rather good ballroom dancer since he and Sirius had been forced to take lessons since they were eight and six. Regulus had always been better than Sirius, having a natural grace where Sirius was more of an uncontrolled bundle of energy, not good at concentrating on things he found boring. 

They started out with a waltz, Regulus sweeping Emmeline expertly around on the dance floor. She followed his lead the best she could, smiling admiringly at him. They danced for three pieces of music and Regulus actually had fun. Dancing like this with a girl was tasteful and not so intimate. But then a slow song came on and Emmeline eagerly stepped close to him so their bodies were touching. She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled up at him. "You’re so sweet, Regulus," she said, caressing his neck with her fingers, her body pressed against his as they moved slowly to the music.

Regulus resisted the urge to push her away. The whole point of having a girlfriend was so people would not get suspicious of him, so the more who saw them together, the better. When he noticed Lily and a couple of other Gryffindors watch them, he kissed Emmeline, hoping that they would talk. 

**o0o0o**

Emmeline was leaning heavily on Regulus when they came back to the common room. Even though it was late, Remus was sitting on a sofa by the fire, a sleeping Sirius slumped next to him. Remus looked up from his book as they entered and he sent Regulus a soft smile.

"Oh, hi, said Regulus. “You're up still?"

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep," said Remus and returned to his book without looking at Emmeline. "I thought I would keep Sirius company. He was waiting up for you.”

"Oh. Too bad he didn’t want to come Slughorn's party. It would have been a giant success if he had been there. The whole wizarding world would have held its breath," said Regulus sarcastically. 

"Well, you know Sirius," said Remus and closed his book.

Emmeline tugged at Regulus' sleeve. "Come with me to my dorm. Please? I’m sure the others are sleeping." She smiled drunkenly at him.

"No," said Regulus, frantically looking for an excuse, but then he remembered, "You know the stairs turn into a chute when a boy tries to mount them."

"We can go to _your_ dorm then.

Remus sunk back into his seat. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the jealousy that came over him whenever he saw them together.

"Not while my dorm mates are there," said Regulus. "That would be very distasteful." He escorted her to the bottom of the stairs to the girls' dorms. "Well, good night, Emmeline. You should get to bed and sleep off the champagne."

She looked disappointed but then gave him a kiss before going upstairs. 

Regulus looked after her for a second and then turned with a sigh. "Girls..."

"You look good together," said Remus quietly. “Everybody thinks so." 

"Er... thanks," mumbled Regulus. "Well, she really is pretty, isn't she?"

"She is," Remus nodded and put his book on the table. "And she is nice too. I'm.... I’m really happy for you, Regulus. Was it a nice party? I hear they usually are. I have never been invited so I haven't experienced it first-hand."

"You will have to find yourself a VIP boyfriend, then. Davies didn't make the cut, anyway. It was alright. Good food and dancing. Interesting people."

Remus shrugged. "I probably won’t find another boyfriend at Hogwarts..." He looked at Regulus and wished he could just tell him how he felt but he knew he couldn't. It would probably only make Regulus hate him and he couldn’t bear that.

"Why not? There must be others with your inclinations here. Davies had others before you, didn't he? Maybe you could try one of them," said Regulus, feeling a little bad for not liking the thought of Remus finding another boyfriend, who was guaranteed to be at least as horrible as Davies. 

"I don’t want to go out with someone just because he happens to be gay. I want someone I care about. I cared about Noel but I guess it just didn’t work out the way I had hoped."

"Why did you break up, anyway?" asked Regulus and sat down. 

"We, er... Noel didn’t think I was as committed as he was. That I held back my feelings. I don’t know. Maybe I did..."

"Oh..." said Regulus, shuffling his feet uncomfortably. “So you didn't fancy him that much, then, did you?"

Remus bit his lip. “I did fancy him, but obviously not enough for him. So I just have to see if someone else will have me at some point."

"Oh, of course they will. They would be stupid not to. I mean... well..."

Remus smiled and pushed his fringe out of his eyes. "Thank you. It means a lot that you say that." _I only wished you would have me..._ He gazed into the fire and grinned a little as Sirius started snoring. "He is going to be sore in the morning if he sleeps all night in that position."

Regulus didn't really register what Remus said. His eyes had come to rest on the normally a little pale face, now glowing a warm hue in the soft light of the fire. Regulus got a sudden urge to touch the face, feel how warm it must be. He suddenly realised what it was that made Remus so attractive to. The warmth to all his features, both looks and personality. His light brown hair that had a golden touch when the sun shone on it (oh, yes, Regulus had looked and noticed), the eyes a warm amber, and his nature, always so kind and gentle to everyone. Blacks were not warm. They were cold and beautiful. Many of them cruel. Remus was so very different. He did not turn people's heads, but when you took a good look at him you noticed a more subtle handsomeness. 

Remus looked up at Regulus and blushed a little when noticed him eying him closely. Remus’ eyes fell on his lips and he wondered if they felt as soft as they looked. Oh, how he wanted to know.

They were both locked staring at each other, until Regulus were torn out of it by Sirius’ grunting in his sleep. 

"Oh um..." said Remus and looked over at Sirius again. “I guess I better get him to bed."

"Well, good night, then," said Regulus and hurried upstairs. 

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15 – “The Future Can Wait”**

The next day Barty, Wilkes and Rosier caught up with Regulus on the way to the library.

"Hey, Regulus!" called Barty. "We were just going to the lake for a meeting with the other lads. You want to come?"

"Why would I want that?" asked Regulus, trying to sound as though he wasn't dying to tell them to sod off with their Death Eater business.

"Because you’re planning to join," said Wilkes, crossing his arms. "Isn’t that what you said, Barty?"

"Or do you think the Dark Lord is a fool who is not be taken seriously?" asked Rosier in a threatening voice, taking a few steps towards Regulus. 

Regulus gulped and looked up at the taller boy. “Of course I don't think he's a fool. I just haven't planned what to do after school. I have plenty to focus on with OWLs and NEWTs, and I’m only fifteen. The future can wait."

"The Dark Lord doesn’t have time to wait if the world needs cleansing," said Wilkes. "But then again, you did save a Mudblood so what can be expected of you? Filthy blood traitor like your brother. That’s what I’ve always said. Nott and I. I don’t know why the others want anything to do with you."

"Don't you dare call me a blood traitor!" hissed Regulus, both mad and a little scared. "Your family has nothing on mine, Wilkes, so don't you dare speak to a Black that way!"

“I speak to you as I please," growled Wilkes. "And I think you’re a blood traitor. Acting like everything is fine even though you were placed in Gryffindor with those losers. Filth, all of them. And then you saved a Mudblood on top of everything. If you ask me, you don’t deserve the title of Death Eater.”

Regulus clenched his fists painfully hard, resisting the urge to rip out Wilkes’ throat. 

"Hey, hey," said Barty. "From the start Regulus made it clear to the whole school that he didn’t want to be in Gryffindor, and he didn't know who the girl was. Besides, Avery and Mulciber said he could come.” When Wilkes’ only comment was a grunt, Barty continued, “Hey, Reg - why don't you come with us to hear us out? It's just a meeting."

Regulus glared at Wilkes for another few seconds, then looked at his friend and unclenched his fists. "I suppose I can. As long as I don't have to sit anywhere near that tosser." He sent Wilkes a glare.

"Brilliant," beamed Barty and swung an arm around Regulus' neck. "Let's go, then."

They walked along the lakeshore until they rounded a bend. There were eight other students, mostly boys, standing around or sitting on rocks. Regulus recognised Mulciber, Avery, Nott, Snape and a girl named Higgs. The rest he didn’t know by name.

Rosier went over and started talking to a few of them, sending a nod in Regulus’ direction.

"He’s just telling them that you want to join," Barty told Regulus.

"I never said I wanted to join," mumbled Regulus, only for Barty to hear.

Snape narrowed his eyes, studying Regulus. It was no secret that he hated Sirius and his friends. "He's a Gryffindor. We can’t trust him.”

“He's a Black and supports his family values, my parents tell me," said Rosier.

“His _brother_ is a Black,” spat Snape. “That guarantees nothing.”

Avery studied Regulus for a moment. "If we really can trust him, just think of how much of an asset he could be. He’s in a perfect position to give us invaluable inside information."

“A spy,” nodded Mulciber slowly.

“Look!” beamed Barty and rolled up his sleeve for Regulus to see. “We made our own tattoos! If they accept you then you can get one too."

" _What_?" said Regulus, gawking at the skull and snake on Barty's arm. "Are you mental? What if a teacher sees these?"

"Relax," said Barty. "It comes off with a Scouring Charm. We made them for the meeting. We’re not walking around with them all the time."

"Are you scared of a teacher?" laughed Nott, who had overheard Barty and Regulus. "Are you going to run crying to a teacher like a good little student?"

"I'm not afraid, I'm just not stupid, like certain others," said Regulus, giving Nott a poisonous gaze. "If you lot want to be Death Eaters you better not go wave it around in everybody's face. You do know that it's illegal, yes? Do you want to end up in Azkaban before you get a chance to even get started?"

"You little weasel," snarled Wilkes. "How dare you talk down to us like that?"

"No, Regulus has a point," said Mulciber, holding a hand to his chin. "We have to be careful. Make sure nobody can pin anything on us."

They all turned their heads and looked from Mulciber to Regulus and a few of them nodded.

"See, I told you lot it was a good idea to bring Regulus," beamed Barty and took a seat on a rock close by, patting the spot next to him for his friend.

Regulus sat down reluctantly. It was clear that only about half of the others trusted him. Snape, Nott, Wilkes and a couple more were all eying him warily from time to time. They talked back and forth for about an hour and when they were done, Avery and Mulciber came over to Regulus, asking him to stay behind.

"I trust that you won’t tell anyone about this meeting." Avery looked around. "You could be a great asset to this group, Black, so I would like for you to consider it for more than a minute."

"I won't tell," said Regulus. _Like I said, I'm not stupid._   _I_   _don't have a death wish. "_ But I don't know about joining... It's awfully early making those kinds of decisions."

"I see," said Mulciber. "Barty told us that you were serious and I’m not sure why you came here if not for joining. You must at least be interested since you came today."

"Barty is my friend so I thought I at least would oblige him to come and see what this was all about. But like I said, I can keep a secret, so no worries there, no matter what."

"Good. I trust that you keep it to yourself then," said Avery. "Well. Best be getting back." He gave him a slight nod and headed for the castle.

**o0o0o**

"So," said Sirius when Regulus came back to the common room. Judging from the look on his face and the tone of his voice, he was not happy with his little brother, and this made several of the other students clear out. "Have fun with your friends?"

Remus looked up at Sirius and sighed. "Why do you bother?"

"Did you?"

"That's none of your business," snapped Regulus. He was not in the mood for his brother having a go at him. He already had enough to worry about. For one thing, how to get out of this mess with his health intact. He should never have come with Barty.

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "It damn well is my bloody business when my little brother hangs around with the wrong sort! Do you know they fancy the dark arts? Do you?"

"Yes, I'm not stupid!" snapped Regulus. "That doesn't mean I agree with them. And it's not your business either way. Just because you're older doesn't give you authority over me."

"Well, someone has to tell you how stupid you’re being!" barked Sirius. "You don’t hang around that sort of people without being dragged into something bad! Next thing you know they will be asking you to join the Death Eaters with them!"

"Fuck off, Sirius!" yelled Regulus, getting angry when his brother hit a sore spot. "Stick to your own bloody business and I won't tell you what to do!"

Sirius grabbed for his wand but Remus stopped him. "Don't," he pleaded. "Don’t get into more trouble over something that may be nothing."

"I can treat my brother the way I bloody well want to when he’s making stupid decisions," snapped Sirius and pushed Remus aside, making him nearly topple over a chair.

For some reason, seeing Sirius pushing Remus like that made Regulus see red. He grabbed the nearest thing - a mug - and threw it at his brother. It narrowly missed and smashed into pieces against the wall. 

Sirius stared at him in shock and then his eyes narrowed. "You could have hit me with that!" he growled and whipped out his wand, pointing it at his brother. "You’ll be sorry!"

"Sirius!" exclaimed Remus. "Expelliarmus!"

Sirius' wand flew out of his hand and landed half way up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories. "Mind your own business, Remus!" he yelled, rounding on his friend.

"I'm sorry I missed!" shouted Regulus. "That's what you get for behaving like an arse!"

"You’re the one who’s being an arse!" countered Sirius, turning his anger back to Regulus.

A small cluster of students came up the Grand Staircase and stopped at the Fat Lady where McKinnon, Fenwick and a couple more stood. Shouting and noise could be heard from inside. 

"What's going on?" asked one. 

"The brothers," was all Fenwick had to say. "You might want to stay out here until they're done if you don't want to get caught in the crossfire."

"Oh. Right...”

James and Peter came up the staircase and stopped as they heard the noise. 

"Bloody hell," groaned James. "Is it...?"

McKinnon nodded. 

"C'mon, Wormtail, we better stop them."

"Yes, _please_ do!" said the Fat Lady. "Savages in my tower! I'm _so_ embarrassed! What will Violet say?"

She swung open without asking for the password and James and Peter stumbled in. What met them was the sight of the two brothers rolling around on the floor in a tangle, Remus fruitlessly trying to break them apart. 

"Help me!" Remus yelled.

It took both James and Peter to pull Sirius off his brother while Remus wrapped his arms around Regulus' small waist to prevent him from having another go at Sirius. 

"Padfoot, RELAX!" ordered James as he and Peter pulled the struggling Sirius back by an arm each.

"Don’t tell me to relax!" yelled Sirius. "I’m going to teach that idiot a lesson!"

Regulus spat a stream of curses at his brother and then noticed that his lip was bleeding. He wiped away the blood and glared angrily at Sirius. "There, you hurt me - happy?"

Noticing his brother’s lip seemed to calm Sirius down a bit. "Well you almost hurt me as well! And I got bruises!" He pointed to his jaw where a bruise was indeed starting to form. "And you almost hit me with that mug!"

"You were asking for it! You attacked me! First verbally, then physically, and you expect me to not fight back?"

"I didn’t do anything until you threw that mug at me! All I did was ask about your friends! You were the one who got violent!"

"You were going for your wand! If not Remus had disarmed you, who knows what you would've done to me?"

“That was AFTER the mug!" screamed Sirius, stomping his foot. 

"It doesn’t matter who started it," Remus broke in.

Emmeline entered through the portrait hole just then and looked shocked from Sirius to Regulus. "What’s going on?" She hurried over to Regulus to check his face. "Oh, what happened to you, darling?" she said, carefully running a finger over his lip.

"Nothing," said Regulus, straightening himself. "Just a small disagreement with my brother."

"But you're bleeding!" she said in a worried tone and went to get a paper towel for him.

"It’s nothing," said Sirius and rolled his eyed. Seeing that that he seemed to have cooled off, James and Peter finally let go of him and he marched off to the dorms, mumbling curses under breath.

"It's nothing," repeated Regulus. "Nothing a quick healing charm can't fix. Can you do it?" he asked Emmeline. Regulus had never been good at healing, and healing oneself was more difficult than healing others. Sirius was very good at it but Regulus couldn't very well ask him now. 

"I’m not sure I’m good enough to risk it," she said, dapping his lip with the towel. “I don’t want to risk ruining your handsome face.”

"I… I can do it," said Remus. "If you don’t mind..."

"Alright," said Regulus and let Remus cast a healing charm on him. It left his lip unbroken and just a little sore. "Thank you, Remus."

"You’re welcome," smiled Remus.

Regulus was not in a good mood after the fight with his brother and would really have preferred to be alone, but Emmeline pushed him down on a sofa and told him to relax and she would rub his shoulders. He grudgingly agreed, thinking that that couldn't be too bad. 

"What did you fight about this time?" she asked, rubbing his shoulders and planting a gentle kiss on his neck.

"Nothing special,” said Regulus evasively. “He just has a terrible temper, you know that as well as any Gryffindor. He likes to think he's my father or something."

"Someone should tell him to control his temper," Emmeline stated, rubbing a little harder.

"That's like telling the sun not to shine," mumbled Regulus. 

**o0o0o**

"So," said Sirius moodily when Remus came up to the dorm a little later. "Is the poor sod down there being comforted by his doting girlfriend?"

"Not the words I would use, but yes," said Remus and sat down to study Sirius' face. "It doesn’t look too bad."

"What was all that about, anyway?" asked James. "You two haven't been fighting this bad since before Christmas."

"I asked him about his new freaky friends and when I told him off, he threw a mug at me," said Sirius moodily. "Moony, you disarmed me!"

"Yes, that was for your own good,"

"You mean Crouch?" asked James. "It's not exactly new, is it?"

"Not just him. I saw him walking with Rosier and Wilkes earlier today."

"Oh, and I think I saw Mulciber and Avery talking to him the other day," said Peter suddenly.

"I think they’re up to no good and Reggie is being too stupid to see that he’s getting in over his head with that lot," said Sirius.

"If that's true, then you really need to talk some sense into him, Padfoot," said James seriously. "That lot are Death Eaters in the making, unless I'm a complete idiot. They're dangerous."

"Well, that’s what I was trying to do!" Sirius got to his feet and started pacing the room. "I swear I’ll blow them through a wall if they get near my brother again!" He ran a hand though his hair. "I don’t know how to get through to him so he understands I’m doing this for his own good."

"Well, you're not doing a very good job so far,” said Remus. “Every time you try to talk some sense into him something ends up exploding."

"That’s because he’s so bloody stubborn!" said Sirius. He wanted desperately for his brother for once to understand him but it was like talking to a brick wall.

**o0o0o**

Regulus was starting to actually enjoy the massage Emmeline was giving him when her hands suddenly started to venture a little too far south for his liking. 

"My chest isn't sore..." he tried. 

"Mmm… but I’m sure it will help you relax," she whispered into his ear. "Just relax, darling. Lean back and enjoy."

Regulus reluctantly let her proceed. She wouldn't be able to move further down, anyway, without unbuttoning his shirt and he was confident even she wouldn't do that in the middle of the common room.

She smiled as he didn’t push her away and nipped his ear while letting her hands massage his chest.

"You're right," said Regulus a little later. "This really was very relaxing. I'm tired now. I better turn in. Thank you," he said and made to get up. 

"Won’t you let me to come with you?" she asked and pulled him back down. "I could continue rubbing your chest and back? Maybe your legs too? Make you really comfortable and you could maybe make me feel comfortable too."

"Oh, no, not with my dorm mates present," Regulus shook his head. "But thank you again. And good night." He gave her a quick kiss and hurried off. 

Emmeline sat on the couch, gazing after him, looking very displeased.

"Why are you so moody?" asked Marlene, sitting down next to her. "Your boyfriend still in a bad mood? They sure went at it, him and Sirius..."

"He seemed to cheer up when I massaged him but when I asked if we should go to his dorm he just made an excuse and hurried off," she mumbled, looking into the fire. "I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with him."

"Well..." Said Marlene. "He  _is_  just fifteen. And you know they say boys mature later than girls. Maybe it scares him a bit when you're pushing too hard. Maybe he needs things to go a little slower?"

"If we go any slower we will be going backwards," sulked Emmeline. "He hasn’t even tried to feel me up. You’d think all teenage boys are the same but Regulus just seems uninterested in any sort of contact. I don’t mind us not going for sex yet but he doesn’t want to cuddle either. He just runs off to his dorm whenever I get close."

"I don't know, then," sighed Marlene. "Maybe... Have you considered that he might fancy someone else, but said yes to you because he didn't dare ask her out?"

"You think that could be the case?" Emmeline looked even sourer. "I haven’t seen him eye up anyone else. Come to think of it he never looks at other girls at all so I find that unlikely." She nodded to herself and relaxed more as she watched the fire. "I will just have to keep going and if it doesn’t work, then at least I tried. But I really want it to work. He is so handsome."

"Well... There are more important things than looks," said Marlene. "You know, Benji isn't exactly model material, but he's the best boyfriend I've had and I wouldn't trade him for anyone."

"Hmm," hummed Emmeline and crossed her arms again. "I guess you’re right, but I would really be sad to let him go.” She sighed. "You’re lucky with Benji. At least you know he’s interested."

Well," said Marlene, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Give him a bit of time. Get to know him. Maybe he'll warm up to you."

**o0o0o**

However, a few weeks passed and nothing changed. Emmeline tried several times to get Regulus on his own but every time he kept coming up with excuses and it was getting on her nerves.

"You know," she said one day as they were sitting on the sofa, Regulus still being reluctant to sit too close. "Sometimes I feel you’re not interested in me at all." She looked intently at him but he didn’t seem bothered by her words. "Are you interested in me at all, Regulus?"

"Of course," said Regulus, sounding a little indifferent. "Why wouldn't I be? If I weren't, then why would I be your boyfriend?"

"You’re not exactly acting like my boyfriend. You never want to spend time alone with me and you flinch whenever I touch you or pull your hand away when I try to take it. Sorry, but you don’t seem into me at all." She took a deep breath. "Is… is there someone else you fancy?"

"There's no one else. I just don't see what the rush is."

"We have been together for over a month now and you don’t even want to cuddle up with me on the sofa when we sit and read."

"Well... It's not like we're getting married or anything," Regulus said evasively. 

"No, but you’d think you would want to at least act a little like a normal boyfriend!” 

"If you're unsatisfied, then what are you doing with me? Why not go find somebody else?"

"Maybe I will!" she said in a threatening voice and got up. When he didn’t seem to care how upset she was, she narrowed her eyes. "Good luck finding someone who will put up with your behaviour!" She then marched up the stairs.

Regulus looked after her and sighed. A sigh of relief. He noticed the other students close by watching him, having of course heard what she had said. 

"Well, what do I want with such a high maintenance bird anyway?" he mumbled, loud enough for them to hear. "Stupid girl," he said and left for his dorm before anyone could say anything. 

Remus had been sitting at the far end of the common room doing his homework. Although not proud of it, he felt relieved that that Regulus and Emmeline had broken up. Then he wouldn’t have to see Regulus with her anymore. Of course it would only be a matter of time before he found someone else, but at least Remus could get a break.

"Hey," said James as he and Sirius came down and slumped into a soft chair each. "Passed Regulus on the stairs. He was in an awful hurry."

"Yes," said Remus, snapping out of his thoughts. "He and Emmeline had a disagreement."

"Disagreement?" said Sirius, raising his eyebrows. "What kind of disagreement?"

"Just a fight. I don’t know about what."

"She dumped him," said a girl sitting on the other side of the coffee table.

"She did?" asked Sirius and turned his head to look at her briefly. "Wow... I wonder why. Then again he was very unexperienced so maybe she couldn’t handle that." He tapped his chin with his index finger and thought about it for a minute. "Maybe I should have a talk with him."

"That usually doesn’t work very well," warned Remus.

"You're right," said Sirius and nodded. "Maybe we should have one of our dorm drinking nights. That should put him in a better mood."

"Ha!" laughed James. "I would like to see that. Good luck talking little Mr. Perfect into breaking the rules."

"A beer or two won’t hurt him." Sirius got up from his seat. "I’ll go talk to him right now. Weekend is only a few days away."

**o0o0o**

There was a knock on the door but before Regulus could answer, Sirius barged in. 

"Hi. What do you want? If it's about Emmeline, don't bother. It's over and I don't want to talk about it."

"I was actually thinking that maybe you would want to join us in our dorm this weekend for a bit of fun and drinking. You don't have to get drunk or anything. Just enjoy a glass or two with us instead of sitting alone in your dorm all weekend."

Regulus snorted. "As if you lot are so entertaining when you get pissed." 

"Well, there’s always Remus. He usually doesn’t drink that much."

Regulus lay down on his back on the four-poster. "Whatever. It's not like I have anything better to do..."

"Brilliant!" beamed Sirius and turned to walk out again. "I’ll let the others know."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16 – "Let the Party Begin!"**

"Who's going to nick the alcohol?" asked James as he rummaged through his trunk. 

It had been long since they could all fit under the invisibility cloak simultaneously. Now two were all that could fit without feet being visible. It was far from the first time they had snuck into Hogsmeade using the secret tunnel behind the hunch-backed witch. Sometimes they went for sweets, which was easy because the tunnel emerged in Honeydukes, and when they came for alcohol they could use Sirius' knife to open any door. This was one thing Remus had always refused to take part in. Even though it wasn't exactly stealing (they always left plenty of money on the counter), it was still breaking and entering.

"You and me go," said Sirius and put on his cloak. "Remus and Peter can go squeeze some snacks out of the stingy house elves in the kitchen."

**o0o0o**

"It’s just Peter and me right now but Sirius and James should be back soon," smiled Remus as he opened the door for Regulus.

The boy strolled in, nonchalantly throwing himself on his back on Sirius' bed. His shirt rode up exposing his bare stomach and he suddenly noticed Remus watching. He quickly pulled his shirt down, wondering if he was kidding himself about the curious look he had caught in Remus' eyes. Of course he was. Remus was probably just a little surprised over how informally Regulus was dressed, in a regular T-shirt and jeans. He mostly wore his school uniform or neat trousers and cardigans.

Remus felt a blush creep up his neck. "So, um…" He hurried over to the table and picked up a bowl of crisps. "We got these from the… the kitchen… the elves… you know… very generous."

A few minutes later, Sirius and James barged in with their arms full of bottles.

"Let the party begin!" announced James loudly, slamming his bottles down on the table.

Sirius grinned and dropped down next to his brother. "Good to see you, Reggie!"

"What is it?" asked Regulus, curiously eying the alcohol. "Is there any champagne? Or wine?"

"No, you little snob," said James. "There's beer and firewhiskey."

"Firewhiskey?" said Regulus, raising his eyebrows. "Do you have any idea how strong that stuff is?"

"Yes. 40%."

"Well, I'm not having any of _that_ ," said Regulus resolutely, crossing his arms. 

"Afraid you can't handle the alcohol?" Peter grinned and looked at James for approval.

"Of course he can't handle it,” said James. “He’s too little."

Regulus huffed. "I'm not little. I'm just younger than you lads. When I'm seventeen I'll be as big as Sirius.” 

"Yeah, right you will," laughed James. "You've always been tiny.”

Regulus didn't really have a reply for that so he settled with a mean scowl. Then he got up and made for the door. "I didn't come here to be mocked."

"Ah, come on, Reggie," said Sirius. "They’ll lay off, won’t you, lads?" He sent James and Peter a reprimanding gaze. They sighed and nodded.

"Yes. Please stay, Regulus," said Remus, putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder.

"Whatever," shrugged Regulus and sat back down on his brother's bed. When offered a beer he took it without question, not wanting to be teased with being too posh for beer. He studied the label. 5%. That wasn't too bad. That meant that one beer equalled a small glass of wine, so he supposed he could handle two without getting drunk.

Sirius poured himself a glass of firewhiskey and downed it in two large gulps. "Wicked! It’s a good one, this," he grinned, wiping his mouth.

Peter and James took a glass as well. James held out a glass towards Regulus. “Want a taste?”

Regulus shook his head. "I'm still on the beer. Mixing would just ruin the bouquet."

Peter snickered. "We’re not at a wine tasting, you know."

Remus thanked no to the whiskey as well. He was not much of a drinker and would usually just have a few beers on their drinking nights. He did not like to lose control, so he never let himself get beyond tipsy.

Regulus was only half way through his first beer when James suggested that it was about time for a good drinking game.

"Is that all your little parties are about?" asked Regulus. "Getting drunk quickly? Don't you do anything else?"

"Well, this isn’t a knitting club," said Sirius. "But no, it's not about getting drunk fast. It’s about having fun and letting loose. You should try that sometime, little brother."

"Well, I’m here, aren’t I? So what should we do? Besides drinking?" said Regulus, emptying his bottle.

"What about playing truth or dare?" suggested Peter. 

"Absolutely not,” said Regulus, crossing his arms. “You lads probably already know everything about each other, so you would all have a go at me." Regulus was a very private person. Sirius was about the only one he allowed to know personal things about him and even he didn't know much. 

"Ah, come on, it could be fun," pushed James. "And it’s your chance to get to know us better."

"If he doesn’t want to play, then we should do something else," said Remus.

"You can always pick _dare_ if you don't want to answer the question you get," suggested Peter. 

"Alright, alright, we can give it a try," mumbled Regulus.

"Brilliant!” beamed Sirius. “Okay, since you're the new kid in the room, you get to pick the first question and give it to whomever you like."

Regulus considered it for a second. The only one he was truly curious knowing more about was Remus. “Remus... how did you get that scar on your cheek?"

Remus bit his lip nervously and fumbled with a hole in his jeans. "I…" he started. He had answered that question many times before, but he still hated telling the lie, especially to people who really meant something to him. “My uncle’s hippogriff clawed me when I was little. He tried healing it, but he messed up something so it didn’t work properly. So, er... next question. Regulus - What was you’re favourite activity as a child?"

"Flying," said Regulus, relieved at the easy question. It was no secret that flying had been his favourite activity since he could ride a broom.

"I see," smiled Remus and took a sip of his beer, not taking his eyes off Regulus.

“Pettigrew - How many girls have you kissed?" asked Regulus, a little viciously, knowing well that it could not be many, if any at all. Peter was neither handsome nor charming. “Or would you rather take a dare?”

"Er... three or four," Peter said, clearly lying, but not keen on taking a dare from Regulus. His friends knew it, of course, but didn’t call him out on it. "Padfoot," said Peter. "What’s the dirtiest thing you have done with Chelsea?"

“No!” objected Regulus, horrified. “We don’t want to hear that!”

“Yes we do!” said James and jabbed the younger boy with a pillow, nearly knocking the beer out of his hand. “Hold your ears if they’re too delicate to hear it.”

Regulus scowled at James but decided to follow his suggestion and pressed his palms tightly to his ears. Sirius waved at him a little later to signal that he was done talking. Regulus lowered his hands a little hesitantly, afraid his brother was planning to trick him and blurt out some filthy detail from his sex life.

“Easy, Reggie, all the dirty details have been revealed, so you can relax,” Sirius grinned. “So, Prongs -" he started.

“I think I’ll take a dare this time, mate,” said James and topped off his glass.

“Okay. Down that in one go,” said Sirius and pointed at James’ whiskey glass.

“You call that a challenge?” James laughed and tilted back his head, emptying the whole glass into his mouth. He swallowed and let out a lengthy burp, making Regulus cringe his nose. "Okay, Regulus - Emmeline clearly wasn't your type, so what kind of bird is?"

Regulus did not wish to answer that, but if he refused or asked for dare, it would seem very suspicious so he made something up. "I like classy girls. Someone who don’t offer up their virginity on a platter."

"You’ll find someone soon enough," said Sirius and slapped his brother’s thigh.

"Alright. Potter,” said Regulus, eager to get away from the subject of girls, “Do your parents know about your wild plans marrying Evans?"

"Of course," said James and crossed his arms. "And they wouldn’t have a problem with it, if that’s what you think. They just want me to be happy."

"Would they really allow you to destroy your family name?" asked Regulus incredulously. Of course he knew James was extremely spoiled and that his parents had a liberal view on blood purity, but he couldn't imagine them allowing one of the oldest pure-blood families to die out. 

"Our name wouldn’t be destroyed," said James. “My family aren’t supremacists. Besides, not everybody is stuck up like your family.”

Remus bit his lip, his eyes darting from one to the other. He hoped desperately that this did not turn into an argument, ruining the good mood.

"Are you trying to tell me that _you're_ not stuck up," snorted Regulus. "I think you take the Gryffindor crown! Evans thinks so too. That’s why she will never marry you. She’s too good for you, anyway."

"Hey," Sirius intervened. "Could we not go there, for once? We're supposed to be having fun! Reggie, have another beer, and Prongs - Reggie's right, you _are_ pretty stuck up, mate!" Sirius laughed.

"Look who's talking!"

Remus just shook his head and joined in on the tension relieving laughter.

"Well, I believe it was your turn, James," said Sirius and leaned back. "Make it a good one!"

"Padfoot - if you had to shag a teacher, who would you choose?"

"A teacher?" A smirk spread across Sirius’ face. "Let’s see… Professor Sinistra is not half bad. I bet she’s not as dry as her subject!”

Peter choked on his beer, the liquid fizzing out of his nose.

"Wormtail,” said Sirius when Peter had finally got a hold of himself. “Which seventh year Ravenclaw bird would you say no to if she asked you out?"

Peter thought about it for a minute. "Um... Celestina Mansfield, I think. She has tiny tits."

"You and your tits,” laughed James. "Maybe you should try your luck with professor Sprout - she has giant tits!"

Sirius laughed and nodded. "Yeah that’s a woman for you. Big knockers that you can bury your face in."

Remus just shook his head and drank the rest of his beer.

"Padfoot,” said Peter, “If you had to score McGonagall, how would you go about it?"

"Why are you all bent on setting me up with teachers?" Sirius grinned and popped the cap off another beer with a wave of his hand. “Well, I don’t think it would be that difficult, actually. I’ve seen the way she looks at me. Has a fantasy about me doing her on her desk, I reckon. Come to think of it, that’s probably why she gives me so many detentions!”

Everybody laughed, including Regulus, although he thought it was a rather tactless way of talking about a teacher.

Sirius turned to his brother. "Reggie. Do you have someone new in mind for your next date?"

"No," said Regulus immediately. "I've had enough of that for a while. I really need a break." Then he quickly went on with the next question. “Remus - who's the handsomest bloke you've seen? It can be anyone. Even a celebrity."

"Um... I don’t know," said Remus nervously and started picking at a hole in his jeans. The correct answer would be Regulus but he couldn’t very well say that.

"I guess the Seeker from the Dutch national team is quite cute."

"Oh, yeah, you're right. He is,” said Regulus, thinking about the very handsome Seeker. “I mean - I know who he is. A good Seeker. Great technique."

Remus looked a little surprised but then smiled. "True. Not that I’m a Quidditch expert, but he gets quite good results, so I suppose you’re right."

"You sure have a thing for Seekers, Moony," commented Sirius.

"I guess..." said Remus, blushing at the thought of Regulus.

"We’re running low on snacks," James said, looking into the nearly empty bowl of crisps.

"I’ll get some when we’re done playing," Remus offered and tried to come up with a new question.

Regulus took a large gulp of his beer. Was it his third or fourth? He wasn’t sure, but he found that he didn't care too much. His body was buzzing pleasantly and he was actually having more fun than he had had in a long time. 

"I can’t come up with anything…" said Remus. He could only think of things he wanted to ask Regulus, but he couldn’t keep asking him.

"Alright," said Sirius. "Someone give me a dare!"

James grinned. He was getting quite drunk, that was obvious. Sirius too. "Snog Moony. On the mouth."

"W-what?" stammered Remus, but before he could protest any further, Sirius had pulled him in for thorough kiss. Tongue and everything.

Regulus wanted to look away but couldn't. He downed the rest of his beer in one go, feeling extremely jealous. His brother was no doubt an excellent kisser and Remus probably enjoyed it a lot. 

After what seemed like minutes, Sirius broke the kiss and licked his lips. "Thanks for the snog, Moony. Davies trained you well."

Remus sat back, flustered and deep red in the face. All he could think about was if Regulus was just as good a kisser as his brother. He sent a nervous glance towards him and bit his lower lip. He wished James had dared Regulus to kiss him instead. Although, on second thought, Regulus would no doubt have refused.

"Okay, Reggie,” smirked Sirius. “How far did you and Emmeline go?"

"That's none of your business!" They hadn't gone further than what everybody had seen in the common room and Regulus did not want them to know that. 

"Ooh, that far, eh?" grinned James, waggling his eyebrows. 

"Well, if you won't answer, you have to take a dare," said Sirius. "You get the same one as James - drink a glass of firewhiskey!"

Regulus eyed the whiskey sceptically. Well... The beer hadn't been that bad, so how much worse could this be?  "Okay, but only if you all drink one."

Remus looked a little hesitant but then agreed.

"One, two, three, go!" said Sirius when they had all received a full glass.

Regulus couldn't stop himself from spluttering and coughing as he felt the foul tasting liquid burn in his throat. The others didn't laugh of him, though, except Peter, who tried to hide a snicker. 

"Good, isn’t it?" grinned Sirius. "It’ll put hair on your chest, little brother." He then poured them all another glass.

Regulus thought he probably should not have another glass. He was getting rather drunk as it was. The whisky hit hard and he felt it go to his head immediately. It suddenly didn't seem to be a problem anymore. What was wrong with being a little drunk? He was having so much fun. So much, in fact, that when Sirius told a very silly joke a minute later it had Regulus in tears on the floor.

"Hey, Moony," said Sirius a while later. "What about getting those snacks? You’re the least drunk of us so you won’t get lost."

"I'll come too," said Regulus and climbed to his feet along with Remus. "I'm good friends with the elves." He felt more drawn to Remus than ever and he wanted to be where he was. 

**o0o0o**

Remus and Regulus snuck out through the portrait hole and started their descend towards the basement. It was hard to see much and Remus was glad he had not drunk more than he had. Regulus was quite intoxicated, he could tell "You’re having fun, aren’t you?" Remus asked.

"Mmm," hummed Regulus as he looked at Remus with a drunken smile. He couldn't take his eyes off him and he didn't care if he could.

Remus smiled back at him. Why was he suddenly looking at him like that? Not that he minded. It was nice to be with him alone and he was glad he had come. "I’m glad you’re having fun, Regulus," he smiled.

"I like you a lot," said Regulus without thinking. "I've liked you always. You're so much nicer than Potter end Pettigrew."

Remus’ heart skipped a beat. Liked him how? As a friend? Of course as a friend. _Don’t go getting any ideas!_ "I like you too, Regulus," he smiled and touched his shoulder gently. "Very much."

"Why? Because I gave you Lyra? That’s why I really did it, you know. I hoped you would like me more. And I wanted to make you happy. I knew you couldn’t afford an owl."

"What?” said Remus and stopped walking. "I liked you plenty before that. But it did make me like you even more, I admit that. It meant a lot to me."

"Not a lot of people like me. Maybe because I don't want to talk so much. Or because of who I am. Everybody is always expecting me to be somebody I’m not."

"Well, I like you for you," smiled Remus. "You shouldn’t pretend you’re someone you’re not. Just be yourself and you can’t go wrong."

 “Yes, I can. If I started acting like Sirius, doing whatever I please... My parents would hate me. And they would kill me if they knew how I really am. How I really feel and what I think.

"What do you mean, who you really are and what you think and feel?"

"Do you know why I didn't care about Emmeline?"

Remus shook his head. 

"Because I fancy someone else."

"W-who?"

"You," said Regulus, and before he knew what he was doing he had gripped a tight hold of Remus' collar and pulled his face down, crashing their lips together in a violent kiss.

Remus stood paralysed for a moment. He couldn’t believe that the other boy was actually kissing him. Was he dreaming? It felt even better than he had imagined, even though Regulus was being rather rough. Then he woke from his stupor and wrapped his arms around Regulus’ small waist, kissing him back the best he could.

Regulus' mind had gone blank. He couldn't think at all, just feel. Obviously he hadn't truly kissed anyone before. The kisses he had shared with Emmeline were nothing compared to this. This was... indescribable. Remus took a step back and crashed against the wall, Regulus following him and not letting go. Their tongues were now at a battle, twirling around each other like fighting snakes. Regulus broke the kiss after a minute, not wanting to, but needing to catch his breath. He kept his grip on Remus' collar and looked at his flushed face. He was staring back at Regulus with wide eyes and puffy lips. 

Remus too was out of breath and still trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. They had kissed. Regulus fancied him. Had he only known then he would have made a move long ago.

"Don't you have anything to say," asked Regulus, not sure what he was really expecting, but surely Remus must have been very surprised.

Remus snapped out if his thoughts and blinked. "I’m sorry, I was just taken aback," he smiled and gently let a hand caress Regulus’ cheek. "I fancy you too, Regulus. Have done for a while... That’s why Noel and I broke up, actually. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I was only with him because I didn’t think I could have you."

Something inside Regulus leapt in triumph when Remus explained about Davies. And the touch on his cheek... He wanted to feel more, was dying for Remus to touch him some more. He just didn't know how to proceed from here. He had no experience. 

Remus tilted his head and leaned in, placing a much gentler kiss on Regulus' lips, his hand cupping his cheek. Regulus was unsure of what to do with his hands but finally settled on placing them on Remus' hips. He sighed in contend and melted into the kiss, letting Remus take full control. Remus licked Regulus' lips and when he opened up a little, Remus took the opportunity and slipped inside, gently caressing his tongue with his own. A moan escaped Regulus as he felt Remus' hot soft tongue delve into his mouth. His knees suddenly went weak and he had to grab a hold of Remus' shoulders not to fall.

Remus broke the kiss just enough so he could speak, feeling Regulus’ warm breath on his lips. "You okay?" he asked a little short of breath.

"Um... Yes. Just a little dizzy. Must be the alcohol."

"Must be," Remus smiled and kissed him again, not feeling he could get enough of him. He had wanted this for so long.

After a few minutes Regulus was truly getting dizzy and had to sit down. He also felt a little sick. Bugger. He wanted to keep kissing Remus but he was afraid he might throw up. "I'm not feeling so good... My head’s spinning." 

"Maybe you should go to bed," said Remus, squatting in front of Regulus. "You are not used to drinking, so Sirius should not have pushed that firewhiskey on you. You think you can walk back?"

Regulus nodded and Remus helped him to his feet. "Let’s get you to bed..."

"Yeah," mumbled Regulus and let Remus help him up and lead him back to Gryffindor Tower. "Sorry. It's not your fault. I liked it a lot."

"I liked it too," said Remus and planted a kiss on Regulus’ temple.

When they reached Regulus’ dorm, Remus helped him into bed. "I'll find a bucket for you, just in case." He came back a few minutes later with a bucket that he placed next to the bed. "I hope you will be able to sleep."

"Mm..." said Regulus and went under almost immediately. 

**o0o0o**

"What took you so long?" asked Sirius when Remus came back. "Where’s the snacks?"

"Oh..." said Remus, realising that he had completely forgotten about the snacks. "Regulus wasn't feeling so well so I walked him back to his dorm."

"Is he sick?" asked Sirius. "Maybe we should give him a hang-over potion. Don't you still have some, Prongs?" 

James found one in his trunk and handed it to Sirius. 

**o0o0o**

"Reggie? You asleep?" asked Sirius as he sat down on the edge of Regulus’ bed.

"Lupin came in with him a moment ago. I think he's sleeping. He was very odd," said Nigel, sitting up in his bed.

"He's plastered, you bone-head," sounded Brown's grumpy voice. 

Sirius shook his brother. "Reggie? You need to drink this so you won't feel sick in the morning."

Regulus didn't respond, and when Sirius called louder he just groaned. 

"Do you mind?" snapped Brown. "Some of us are trying to sleep. It's two o'clock in the morning!"

“Well, excuse me, sourpuss,” said Sirius. “Go ahead and have your beauty sleep. Merlin knows you need it.” He got to his feet and looked at Nigel. "When he wakes, tell him that the potion will help him feel better."


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17 – “Are You Feeling Okay?”**

Regulus woke the next morning with a pounding headache. At first he couldn't remember what had happened but then it started coming back to him. The beers. The game. Firewhiskey. And – hold on – kissing Remus? Had he really kissed Remus? Oh, dear Merlin, let that be a dream! Before he could ponder over it he felt his stomach turn and knew he was going to be sick. He was on his way out of bed when he gratefully spotted the bucket next to it, and he just managed to stick his head into it before retching. Shivering, he wiped his mouth in the sheet when he was done. 

"Your brother put a potion on your nightstand,” informed Nigel, who came out from the bathroom just then. He says to drink it and you will feel better.”

Regulus mumbled something and quickly downed the liquid. Almost immediately he felt the nausea ebbing away and his headache lessen. He was still exhausted, but feeling much better.

"How are you feeling?" asked Sirius when Regulus came down to the common room. He looked a little pale but it could have been worse, Sirius thought to himself. "Did you take the potion I left for you?"

Regulus nodded and ran his fingers though his hair. 

Remus peeped out from the chair he was sitting in and smiled at Regulus. "Good to see you're not feeling sick," he smiled. "Means the potion helped."

"Yeah. Morning," Regulus mumbled, sitting down and not looking directly at Remus. 

He could not believe he had been so stupid, so weak, to let his stupid feelings get the best of him. Losing control that way, it was shameful. Something like that could never happen again.

**o0o0o**

When they went down for breakfast Remus dragged Regulus aside before going into the Great Hall. "Is… is everything alright?" he asked and looked around to make sure no one was listing in. "I didn't overstep your boundaries, did I?"

"Boundaries? What do you mean?" asked Regulus, looking confused.

Remus looked equally confused. "Last night… in the hallway."

"In the hallway? What happened in the hallway?"

"The... the..." Remus leaned in closer so no one would be able to hear. "The kisses we shared."

" _Excuse_  me?" said Regulus, looking utterly perplexed. “Why would I snog _you_? I'm straight as a nail! You must have had too much to drink. You must've dreamt it or something."

Remus took a step back, shocked, confused and hurt. "But... but you said…" he started, but when Regulus’ expression just turned even more bewildered, Remus dropped his gaze. “Nothing, then… M-maybe I did have too much to drink..." Then he went past Regulus, his head bent, and hurried over to join his friends at the table. 

Regulus wanted nothing more than to sit as far away from Remus as possible, but he had to behave normally and he usually sat with the Marauders (except when he was mad at Sirius), so he sat down and started to eat breakfast as usual. He couldn't help feel a sting in his heart when seeing the heartbroken look on Remus' face, but there was nothing to do about it. 

"What's with the long face all of a sudden, Moony?" said Sirius, noticing Remus not touching his food. "Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine..." said Remus but kept his head down. He mostly wanted to crawl back into bed and stay there. It was like getting dumped all over. 

"So what are you lads doing today," asked Peter conversationally. 

"Nothing special," said James. “Maybe court Lily."

"Big surprise," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. 

"I think I'll have a look at my History essay," said Regulus and put some muesli on his yoghurt. 

Remus didn't answer. He felt sick and on the verge of tears. He hoped they would leave him alone because he had no explanation to give them why he was feeling depressed.

**o0o0o**

They walked back to the tower, Regulus trailing behind on purpose. When they reached the common room he quickly went upstairs to get his school work and then headed off to the library. 

Remus disappeared to the dormitory and Sirius, who was curious about why he seemed so down, followed him up there a moment later. 

"Moony?" he asked as he opened the door and found Remus on his four-poster lying on his back, staring up into the canopy. "What's wrong?" Sirius asked and sat down on the edge of the bed. "You look really upset about something. What happened? You seemed happy this morning and then suddenly you looked like you were about to cry."

"It's... It’s nothing," said Remus but his voice broke. The events from last night kept popping into his head. Had he done something wrong? Had he gone too far? Had Regulus really been that drunk that he didn’t know what he was doing? He didn’t seem like he was drunk senseless, but Remus guessed he could have been. He pressed his eyes tightly shut in a desperate attempt to keep back the tears that were welling up in his eyes. He hoped Sirius wouldn’t notice.

"Don't tell me it's nothing, Moony," said Sirius, laying a hand on Remus' shoulder. "You look devastated. What happened? You can tell me anything, you know that. And I won’t leave you alone until you do," he added.

Remus took a deep shaking breath and as the tears started to overrun his eyes, he saw no point in trying to keep it from Sirius. "R-Regulus kissed me and said he fancied me and not Emmeline. We kissed a few times last night, and... and now he denies it happened." Remus rolled onto his side and curled into a ball. "I am so stupid. I actually believed him when he said he fancied me."

Sirius was speechless for a long moment. " _What_? _Reggie_? He... He kissed you? But... But he's straight!"

"That’s what he claims now, but he kept talking about having to hide who he was and then he kissed me."

Sirius thought about if for a moment. What Remus told him actually made sense. They had all wondered why Regulus never even looked at girls. How he turned every girl down who asked him out. And when he finally said yes to one, he seemed almost repulsed by her. "Emmeline..." he mumbled to himself. “That's why he didn't care about snogging her... Davies... That's why he suddenly acted like a lunatic..."

"Yes. I even told him that Noel and I broke up because I fancied someone else." Remus curled into a ball and sobbed, "It was him I fancied, Sirius. Him. And now he broke my heart."

Sirius leaned down and wrapped an arm around his friend. "Him? You fancy him? Bloody hell, Moony… How long has that been going on?"

"A little over a year," sobbed Remus. "I really tried to forget about him but I couldn’t, and when he kissed me I was so happy and full of hope. And now that he acts like nothing happened. It hurts more than when Noel dumped me..."

"I'm gonna kill that little prick," growled Sirius, clenching his fist. "If he can't deal with his emotions he should have kept his bloody lips to himself!"

"P-please don’t make a big deal out of it," begged Remus. He didn’t want the brothers to have another fight and surely not over him.

"I'm going to! He can't treat people like that and get away with it. But Remus... Take my advice and forget about him. You wouldn't want a relationship with him, anyway. He's pretty fucked up emotionally."

**o0o0o**

Regulus was sitting in the library when a fuming Sirius came stalking in and, before Regulus could process what was going on, grabbed him by his arm and dragged him off. 

They went into an abandoned classroom and Sirius slammed the door. "What the fuck do you think you’re doing?" he growled fixing his brother with piercing eyes.

"What the bloody hell do you mean?" Regulus cried and tried to wring himself loose from Sirius' iron grip on his upper arm. 

"Why the fuck did you kiss Remus and then blow him off the day after? Keep your bloody lips to yourself if you’re not going to stand by your actions!"

"What the hell? You too? I don't know what fucked up fantasy Lupin has about me, but I'm not being part of it! I didn't do _anything_!"

"Oh, yes you did," said Sirius and shook him. "And you keep him out of your fucked up feelings if you’re not going to stand by them! Apparently he fancies you a whole lot, and this broke his heart and he had just got over Davies!"

"I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING!" yelled Regulus. "He's lying!”

"He is NOT! I have known Remus for years and not once has he lied to me! I don’t give a rats arse if you’re gay or not but don’t fuck with Remus' head! He can’t take it!"

"Let _go_!" Regulus cried and tugged hard at his arm again. "You're hurting me!"

Sirius finally let go, but kept his burning gaze on his brother. "Be true to yourself for once in your bloody life! Fuck Mom and Dad – it’s none of their business that you’re gay." 

"I’m not gay!” screeched Regulus. “He’s lying! You believe that dirty half-blood over your own brother?"

"Don’t call him that!" shouted Sirius and grabbed for his wand, pointing it at Regulus. "Don’t you dare call him a dirty half-blood!”

"Dirty half-blood!" repeated Regulus spitefully, glaring challengingly back at Sirius.

"SECTUMSEMPRA!" screamed Sirius, and a large gash appeared on Regulus’ upper arm. 

Regulus gasped and his eyes widened in surprise as he stumbled backwards clutching at his arm where blood was flowing, already spilling onto the floor. He couldn't believe it: Sirius has used dark magic on him. He would never have imagined that happening. 

Sirius dropped his wand, equally shocked. “Merlin, Reggie, I’m sorry!" He hurried over to check on him but Regulus reeled backwards, away from him. "Let me take a look, Reg!"

"Stay away from me!" snarled Regulus and rushed past his brother, heading for the hospital wing. He held a hand tightly pressed to his arm, attempting to stop the flow, but the gash was too long to cover. He started to panic a little because he was bleeding profusely and he didn't know the counter-curse. 

He stumbled into the hospital wing a few minutes later, nearly bumping into Madam Pomfrey. 

"Dear, what happened?" she gasped, staring at his arm. She pushed him down on a bed and performed a counter curse. "Tell me what happened," she ordered.

"I..." There was no way he could tell her what had happened. Sirius would be expelled. "I fell into a suit of armour and cut myself on its sword."

The matron frowned. "I know a curse when I see one, Mr. Black" she said as she prepared a Blood Restoration Potion. "Drink this and you will feel better."

Regulus didn’t say anything. He knew she would not try to force the truth out of him. She did not want students to be afraid to come to her with their injuries.

A little later Remus rushed in and eyed Regulus in shock. "Are you okay? Is he okay?"

Madam Pomfrey nodded. When she left, Remus took a few steps forwards, a nervous look on his face. "Sirius told me what happened. He’s sorry he hurt you. He told me not to go, but I had to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine," said Regulus quickly, not meeting Remus' gaze. "Nothing Madam Pomfrey couldn't fix."

He was still mad at Sirius but at the same time he felt that he deserved it. The way he was treating Remus was despicable, and he regretted calling him a dirty half-blood. He had not meant to say it, but Sirius just had a way of setting him off.

"Good" said Remus and looked down for a moment. Regulus now knew he had told Sirius about the kiss and he guessed Regulus was mad at him now. "I'm... I’m glad you’re okay now." He didn’t know if he should leave or sit down. "Do... do you want me to leave?"

"Yeah... You're making me uncomfortable." Seeing the crestfallen face of Remus, Regulus continued, "Listen, I think you're mixing things up. My brother kissed you on a dare, remember? That's all. He's probably the one you really want, anyway. He's handsomer than me. And masculine."

"He’s not the one I want," said Remus in a hurt voice. "I thought you meant what you said but I guess it was just the alcohol talking. I’m sorry I bothered you. I’ll leave now, then..." He stopped for a second at the door. "I meant what I said. I hoped you did too..."

Regulus turned over and pressed his face into the pillow, feeling absolutely horrible. To his surprise he felt it become wet. He had only cried once the last many years (when he nearly drowned). That was something he had learned to control long ago.

Regulus didn't go back to the tower that night. He convinced Madam Pomfrey that he was still feeling unwell and she let him stay in bed overnight. 

**o0o0o**

"Hey, Nigel. Where's Regulus? Did he stay in bed?" asked Sirius the next morning when Regulus was not at breakfast.

Nigel shook his head. "No, he didn’t come to bed last night. I heard he was in the hospital wing but he didn’t want any visitors."

"He's still in the hospital wing?" asked Sirius, feeling a little uneasy. Had he really hurt him that badly?

**o0o0o**

"Eat this and then you’re off to your first lesson," said Madam Pomfrey, placing a breakfast tray on Regulus' table.

Regulus had no desire at all to go back down and see the others so he only took a couple of bites of his toast and when Madam Pomfrey came back and asked why he hadn't eaten, he did his best to look weak and sick. "I can't eat. I'm not feeling so good..."

She looked him over. "You really shouldn’t be feeling sick. The potion should have done the trick yesterday,” she said and placed her hands on her hips.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just getting ill," he said, lowering his eyelids as if very exhausted and weak. "I'm feeling dizzy and nauseous..."

"Hmm," she hummed and felt his forehead. "Well, I suppose I best keep you here another day, then."

Regulus sighed gratefully. This would postpone things another day. It wasn't even a true lie when he said he didn't feel good. He felt horrible. Like a horrible person for treating Remus this way. And his chest was aching when he thought about the kiss. It had been wonderful. Like nothing he had ever experienced or even imagined. Truth be told he was dying to do it again. To do more. To touch Remus all over and have him touch him. But there was no way that could ever happen. He could  _not_  slip up again. He would have to bottle up those feelings and bury them deep inside. He could learn to like girls. He could. He just needed some time. He would marry a nice pure-blood girl and make his parents proud. 

**o0o0o**

Early the next morning, as the sun was rising, the door to the infirmary opened quietly and Madam Pomfrey entered, supporting an unsteady Remus. She helped him over to a bed, blood dripping onto the floor as they went.

Regulus was lying awake. He had barely slept that night, his thoughts whirling around in his head. He saw the silhouettes at the end of the aisle and recognised Remus' voice. 

When Madam Pomfrey left half an hour later Regulus slipped out of bed and tiptoed to the far corner where he had seen Remus being taken to. Quietly he peaked in through the drawn curtain surrounding the bed. Remus was lying with closed eyes, looking very pale. Regulus told himself that this was none of his business and that he should leave, but his curiosity got the best of him. "Remus?" he whispered, tiptoeing over to the bed.

Remus opened his eyes just barely and looked up at Regulus, forcing a smile when recognising him. "Hey," he said in an almost whisper and groaned in pain when he tried to move.

"What... What happened?" asked Regulus. Remus had bruises but no visible wounds. Madam Pomfrey must have healed them, because Regulus could swear that he had seen blood. "What's wrong with you?"

"I’m just ill," Remus mumbled. "I... hurt myself sometimes when I’m ill this but this time it was worse than it has been in a while..." He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling exhausted, but he was so happy that Regulus was speaking to him.

"W-why? Why do you hurt yourself?" asked Regulus. He could think of no illness (other than mental and Remus didn't seem like that) which caused people to hurt themselves. 

"I don’t know," said Remus and pressed his eyelids close together as a sting of pain shot through him. "I get a bad fever and then I don’t really know what I’m doing."

"Oh... I'm sorry," said Regulus. He stood bouncing on the balls of his feet for a moment, not knowing what else to say. "Er... But I suppose Madam Pomfrey can get you up and going again in no time."

"I hope so," smiled Remus and without thinking about it, he reached out and gently touched Regulus’ arm. When realising what he was doing, he drew back his hand. "I’m sorry..."

A little startled, Regulus jerked his hand back although Remus had already let go. "I should probably get back to bed. Not feeling so good either. Hope you get well soon," he said and was gone. 

Remus looked after him and felt a pain in his chest, hurting almost more than his abused body. For the first time he wished they hadn't kissed so Regulus wouldn't shut him out. Right now Remus felt like he was dying.

**o0o0o**

A few days later Lily cornered Remus in the common room. She sat down with him in a corner where they could speak in private. "What's the matter with you, Remus? You've seemed so sad lately. And don't give me your usual "I'm fine”, because I can tell you aren't." She put a hand on his knee. "Tell me, Remus. You know I can keep a secret."

Remus hung his head and took a shaking breath. "Just a bloke I like a lot. We snogged the other night and the next day he acted like it didn’t happen, and now he doesn’t even want to look at me.”

“What a prat," said Lily. She was quiet for a moment, deep in thought. "Remus... Is it Regulus?"

Remus’ head snapped up. "Is it that obvious?"

"Well... I've had my suspicions about him for a while. I'm not just talking about the way he acted with his girlfriend, but the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. He's been doing that forever. It's clear that he's always been fascinated with you, but I couldn't tell if it was in a romantic way. Obviously it was."

"Yeah, well he isn’t interested in me any longer," sighed Remus. "He was very eager the other night and he was the one who initiated things. He kissed me and now I’m air to him."

"Of course he's still interested in you. You don't spend years yearning for somebody and then lose interest overnight. I bet it just scared him. You know what he's like. I can't imagine it being easy for him accepting that he's gay. It took him three years to come to terms with being a Gryffindor because it displeased his family."

**o0o0o**

Regulus was suffering just as much as Remus. His plan to suppress his feelings and forget he was gay was not working. Behaving as if they didn't exist just made his feelings stronger, tormenting him until he could barely sleep. He avoided Remus as much as possible, both because his sad expression made the guilt well up in him and because his heart ached every time he saw him. He found himself almost unable to think of anything but Remus. His feelings for him had multiplied since the incident. He cursed himself for having allowed it to happen. It had awoken something in him that refused to go back to its slumber. Now that he knew what he was missing out on, he didn't know how he was ever going to be able to live without it and not go crazy. Sirius was still furious with him and would barely talk to him. Regulus knew he only kept himself under control for Remus' sake.

Staying away from the Marauders also meant staying out of the Gryffindor Tower a lot, which meant that Regulus was easy to find for students of the other Houses. He spent more time with Barty but tried steering the conversation in another direction whenever the subject of Voldemort came up.  

"Are you going to Hogsmeade?" asked Barty Saturday morning. "Could be fun to go together for once."

Regulus thought about it for a minute. He had not planned on going at all, but figured that he might as well get away a little, so he accepted. 

"Go get your cloak then," beamed Barty.

"Why don’t you come with me?" asked Regulus, an idea striking him. Part of him wanted to provoke his brother and this was a super way to do it. 

They walked into the common room but only found Remus sitting, doing his homework.

"What’s this, Lupin?" grinned Barty. "Can’t afford to go to Hogsmeade? I think I can spare a knut for you if you shine my shoes."

Remus ignored him, not lifting his gaze from _A History of Magic_.

Regulus felt a sudden flare of anger towards Barty. "I told you before to leave him alone!" he growled through his teeth. "I don't want more trouble with my brother, okay?"

"Okay, okay," said Barty, rolling his eyes. "Don’t get your knickers in a twist. It's funny picking on poor people."

"Why? Poor people don't pose a threat to your cause. Just because you look down on somebody doesn't mean you have to pick on them. It’s a waste of time."

Barty stood for a moment, looking like he didn’t know what to make of Regulus’ comment. Then he shrugged. "This one sure isn’t worth a knut. Much less, time."

Sirius, James, and Peter encountered Barty at the bottom of the stairs where he was waiting while Regulus had gone to his dorm for his coat.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here, you little snake?" asked James.

"Waiting for my friend," said Barty in a cold voice. "I wouldn’t set foot in here if it wasn’t for Regulus."

"We would gladly show you the door," growled Sirius, staring him down. "You’re not welcome here!"

"He's welcome because I invited him," said Regulus as he came down the stairs, his cloak draped over his arm. "You don't own the house, Potter, although I know you think you're King of Gryffindor.”

Sirius turned his head to look at his brother. He truly hated that Regulus was hanging around Barty because that meant that he also came into contact with Barty's Death Eaters friends. "So you decided to go to Hogsmeade with this wanker, did you?"

"Who are you calling a wanker, you blood traitor?" snapped Barty.

"Let's just go," said Regulus, giving Barty's sleeve a yank. He was not in the mood for a big fight involving Barty. He had just wanted to provoke Sirius a bit and that mission was accomplished. 

"I have trouble seeing how you two can be related," said Barty, still steaming with anger as they got out the front door. "He is such a twat!" He clenched his teeth and walked briskly across grounds. "If he weren’t your brother he would be on my hit list when I finish school."

"Well... we have both inherited the same looks, but that’s pretty much it, I guess," said Regulus," feeling his stomach contract. Although he himself often said vile things about Sirius, he had never liked it when others did. "But he  _is_ the heir to the House of Black, so he's of the finest blood and an important person in wizarding society. Hopefully he will become more mature as he gets older."

"A shame if a fine house like that should be run by a disrespectful prick," said Barty. "Otherwise you should take over if he isn't mature enough. You’re ten times better than he is and you honour your bloodline. Not like your brother who runs around with Mudbloods and half-bloods. A disgrace."  

"There’s nothing wrong with half-bloods as long as they respect that pure-bloods are to remain pure. The Dark Lord feels that way as well, no? Doesn't he have several half-bloods serving him as Death Eaters? At least that's what I heard from my cousin."

"I suppose," mumbled Barty. "I’m just in a foul mood right now. Say - you could cheer me up by agreeing to another meeting with lads.”

"I don't know Barty," sighed Regulus. "I mean, I support most of the views, but... like I've told you, I don't think being a Death Eater is for me."

"Why not?" pushed Barty, clearly getting frustrated over how hard it was to recruit Regulus. "If you support the views, then why not join?"

"I don't agree with the methods. I told you so many times, I don't think there's any need for bloodshed and illegal activities. It's much better and more honourable going into politics and trying to change the laws."

"That’s never going to happen," said Barty. "The Ministry thinks that everyone should be have the same rights. Mudbloods have no place in our world and should not be allowed to do magic!"

"I don't want to discuss it anymore," said Regulus, looking straight ahead. "Let's just try to enjoy our visit, shall we?”

"Yeah, alright," mumbled Barty and kicked a rock, watching it skip along the dirt road.

"Want to go for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks?" asked Regulus. 

"How about the Hogs Head?" suggested Barty. "It's more interesting and not so many annoying students. 

"Alright,” said Regulus airily and followed Barty down the alley that lead to the dodgy inn.

**o0o0o**

The three Marauders were not enjoying themselves as much as they usually did. They were all thinking about Remus sitting back in the tower alone. 

"What is it with him? I don't understand why he’s so depressed," said James. "And he won't tell us. It just doesn't make sense. I know he's hiding something from us."

"Yeah..." said Sirius and bit his lip. He felt a little guilty for not telling them the truth but he needed to keep it a secret for his brother’s sake. James would gut him if he heard what he had done to Remus. "Maybe it’s Noel again..."

"I thought he was over him long ago. And you know, he never seemed completely smitten with him, so I don't understand," said James. "Listen, why don’t we go back early? I don't like thinking about him sitting all alone. We could swing by Honeydukes and get him some chocolate. That usually cheers him up."

"Yeah, let’s do that," nodded Sirius.

**o0o0o**

Remus was sitting in the common room staring into the fire when they came back. 

"Hey, Moony," smiled James and dumped into the chair next to Remus'. "Look what we found!" he said and slapped a giant chocolate bar onto Remus' lap. 

Remus looked at it and smiled at James. "Thank you..." he said in a soft voice. He didn’t feel like eating but he knew his friends were getting worried so he broke off a piece and nipped at it.

"Hey, Moony, cheer up. C'mon, tell us why you're so upset. Is it Noel again? Or is someone giving you a hard time? Because if they are we'll set them straight."

Peter nodded.

"It’s nothing," said Remus and bent his head, taking another bite of the chocolate. "I just feel unlovable." That wasn’t completely untrue so he didn’t feel like he was lying to them.

"That's codswallop!" said James. "Lots of people love you. Us, your parents. Most Gryffindors like you a lot. And you'll find love again. There just aren't that many gay blokes here. But you will, Remus."

Remus just nodded. The words, however, did not help. All he wanted was for Regulus to at least talk to him again. He missed him. They hadn’t talked since Remus had been in the hospital and he dreaded what Regulus must have thought, seeing him in that condition.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18 – “I Can’t Keep Doing This”**

The next day on his way to the library Regulus suddenly found himself standing face to face with Remus. "Um..." he said, unable to look away once their eyes had locked.

They stood like that for what seemed like minutes, both silent. Remus desperately wanted to talk to the other boy, but he knew nothing good would come of it. "I'll… just get out of your way."

Remus was about to step around Regulus when Regulus grabbed him by the upper arm. "No, wait..." He simply could not stand this anymore. Something inside him would break if he didn't do something to alleviate the pain. He could not act on his feelings, but he could apologise to Remus. At least then he could get rid of the guilt. 

Remus eyed Regulus in surprise. "Y-yes?"

Regulus quickly looked around and then motioned for Remus to follow him into a classroom. "Listen..." he said, facing Remus. “I... I'm sorry."

Remus smiled, relief rushing through him. "It’s okay. You don’t need to apologise.”

“Yes, I do. It was a rotten way to behave. And I’m sorry for kissing you and getting your hopes up. It just can't ever happen again. I can't... I just can't go there. And I need you to keep my secret, because if it gets out that I'm... Well, I'm a shame to my whole family. I don't even want to think about what they would do to me. Do you understand?"

Remus nodded. "Of course I won’t tell anyone. Neither will your brother." He sighed. “I wish it didn’t have to be like this, but I understand and I don’t want to get you in trouble."

"Thanks," said Regulus. It did ease the nagging guilt in his stomach, but it didn't really make him feel better. He was still aching to touch Remus. To kiss him. To have him. They were about to leave when Regulus, without thinking, threw himself at the other boy and crashed their lips together even more violently than the first time.

Remus stumbled backwards and crashed into the wall. Realising what was happening, he wrapped his arms around Regulus’ waist and held onto him, afraid he would slip away. This was wrong. Regulus had just said it was, and yet it felt so right to Remus.

They didn't part until they were both gasping for air. They were standing close, foreheads nearly touching and Regulus hands still clasped tightly in Remus' jumper. He simply couldn't let go.

Remus looked into Regulus' eyes and smiled. Carefully he caressed his hip with one hand and let it slide up his back, hoping that Regulus wouldn’t push him away. All of a sudden the boy burst into tears, jammed his face into Remus' shoulder and cried, his whole body shaking with each sob. 

Remus hugged him tightly and ran a hand over his silky locks. "What’s wrong? Did… did I do something to upset you? I won't tell anyone this happened. I promise."

"N-no, it’s me," said Regulus, drying his eyes in his sleeve. "I don't know what's happening to me." He let go of Remus and sat against the wall, curling in on himself, clutching at his hair. "There's something wrong with me! I can't... I don't know..."

Remus sat down beside him and gently put an arm around him. "There is nothing wrong with you, Regulus," he said in a soft voice. "You’re just gay and there is nothing wrong with that."

"It's not just that. I'm confused and I can't do anything right."

"What do you mean, you can’t do anything right?" asked Remus.

"I'm a failure. I'm trying so hard to be right, but I keep messing up. I feel... I feel horrible."

"You’re not a failure," said Remus and kissed the boy’s temple. "You just have to feel who you really are. Listen to that and you can’t go wrong. That is what I told myself when I realised I was gay."

"Yes, I can go wrong. I'm expected to behave in a certain way. It's a responsibility that comes with the blood. I hate it. I should be proud, but I hate it. I'm just as ungrateful as Sirius. I just hide it. And I’m ashamed of it. Being ungrateful. Not hiding it."

Remus was unsure of what to say that would make Regulus feel better, so he just leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on his hair, hoping it would let Regulus know that he was there for him. "I don't think you're ungrateful. You don't choose who you are. You're just born this way and shouldn't have to be ashamed of it."

"You're lucky being a half-blood,” sniffed Regulus and wiped his nose in his sleeve. “You don't have anything to live up to. You can do whatever you please."

"I don't have anything to live up to? I have my own expectations to live up to. To be a good student and make something of myself. I consider that something to live up to," Remus said. "But is that the only reason why you’re ashamed of who you are? Because of your family? Sirius supports you and he’s your family too."

"I don't want to be gay, because it's wrong. Maybe there's something wrong with my head. I don't know. But it's not accepted in my family." Regulus rubbed his face with his palms. "I don't know what to do now. I can't keep doing this. I'm going to go crazy. "

"You can't do what?" said Remus, a little nervous. He hoped it did not mean that Regulus was backing out again. Remus didn’t think he could handle any more disappointments.

"I mean, I can't keep walking around so close to you and do nothing. It's driving me crazy. Especially now that I know how you feel about me. And if you got a new boyfriend and I had to watch that from the side-lines? I couldn't stand it a second time. I want you to be with me. Not someone else.”

Regulus' words made Remus’ heart do a flip. He looked at him and smiled softly. "I don't want to see you with someone else either, Regulus," he said and scooted closer to him again. "M-maybe we could… be together, but keep it a secret? See how it goes."

"Do you... Do you think we could keep it a secret?" said Regulus thoughtfully. "What about your friends? They would know. You lot know everything about each other. And Sirius knows what happened between us and he'll guess for sure."

"Sirius would stand by us and keep the secret, you know that,” smiled Remus. "So would the other two.”

"My brother is okay… But I don't want the others to know. I suppose Potter will keep his mouth shut if Sirius asks him to, but Pettigrew... I don't trust him. There's something dodgy about him. I don’t know what you lot see in him."

Remus shook his head. "You’re wrong. He’s a very loyal friend. But if you don’t want it, I won't tell him,” he added quickly. He took Regulus' hand and slipped his fingers in between his. It felt good to just sit there and be close to him. Maybe this could actually work. “Do you want me to tell Sirius?”

"Okay..." nodded Regulus. "But don't tell him I cried."

"Of course not," smiled Remus. "I won't give him any details about anything."

Regulus rested his head in the crook of Remus' neck and inhaled his scent. It felt good sitting here touching him, like he had dreamed of doing so many times. "Why do you like me?" he asked after a minute.

"I see many good things in you. You hide most of them, but I see them,” said Remus. “Your rare smile. It makes me want to kiss you when I see it."

“I don't smile very often. I don't really have anything to smile about... You smile a lot, though. I like that."

"I hope I can give you a reason to smile more often," Remus said and took a deep breath. "I’d like for you to smile more."

"Mmm..." If that was what Remus liked about him, then he would have to try to smile more often. Regulus wanted him to keep fancying him. He raised his head and turned it, looking straight into Remus’ amber warm eyes and smiled. 

Remus blushed slightly as their eyes met and he leaned down and hesitated for a minute before closing the gap between them in a soft gentle kiss.

Regulus kissed back softly but still with the urgency of doing something he had been craving for so long. After a while he felt calm and sated. He sighed happily and looked into Remus' eyes. "Thank you."

"You’re welcome," Remus smiled and rested his forehead against Regulus', caressing his hand, drawing small circles with his thumb. 

"Maybe we should be on our way so no one starts to wonder where we are,” said Regulus. “Or where you are. Nobody cares where I am."

Remus felt bad for Regulus that he thought no one cared about him. "I guess we better. You want to walk together?"

"No, that would be suspicious. I'll continue to the library and you go where you were going."

**o0o0o**

"You look in a better mood," said James when Remus came back to the common room and slumped down on the sofa where the three Marauders were sitting. 

"Oh? Well… they day turned out better than expected," smiled Remus.

"Well, that's great, Moony!" said James. "What's happened that made the day so good?"

"Er…" he said and leaned back on the sofa. He had only been allowed to tell Sirius. He felt a little bad about leaving the others in the dark, but he had promised Regulus. "Just something..."

" _Something?"_  repeated Sirius, tilting his head and noticed the light blush on Remus' cheeks.

"I'll... I’ll tell you later," Remus mumbled, just for Sirius to hear.

**o0o0o**

At dinner Regulus sat down with the Marauders, something he hadn't done for a while, but not next to Remus. He was afraid it would draw attention to them. He glanced at Remus once in a while and felt his chest fill with warmth. He couldn't remember when he had felt even remotely happy. There was still a feeling of guilt and worry, but he pushed it to the back of his mind as best he could. He did not want to think about that now. Right now he really needed to feel good. 

**o0o0o**

Sirius pulled Remus aside that evening. "You and Reggie have a good talk or what? You both look better all of a sudden."

"Er…" started Remus and looked around to make sure no one was close enough to hear. Then he turned back to Sirius. "We kissed again and we are going out now. In secret."

" _What?_ ” Sirius dropped the three gobstones he had been rolling around in his hand. “You're going out? Like... boyfriends?"

Remus nodded slowly, suddenly worried that Sirius would get upset with him. He had told him to forget about Regulus.

"Blimey," said Sirius and sat down. "I'm surprised he would actually go that far. Not because I don't think you're worth dating, Moony, but it's so against everything that's "right". He's never gone against our family ideals like this - even in secret."

Remus sat down next to Sirius and rubbed his hands nervously. "I know. He said it hurt too much not be with me and I feel the same way. I don’t want him to get in trouble, so please help keep it secret. Only you can know, and perhaps James if it becomes necessary."

"Not Wormtail?"

“Regulus says he doesn’t trust him,” Remus mumbled and looked down at his hands. “I’m surprised he trusts James. He certainly never liked him."

"He probably trusts that Prongs will keep the secret if I tell him. He has always been jealous of us being so close."

"Probably…” 

"I really hope he doesn't hurt you, Moony," said Sirius. "He's not an easy person to have a relationship with."

"I don’t mind. And I know it’s not going to be easy for him. He thinks there’s something wrong with him."

Sirius scoffed. "Of course he does. Our bloody parents..."

**o0o0o**

Regulus was in such a good mood that evening that, sitting in the common room with the others, he even engaged in a bit of small talk with Nigel, who he usually just brushed off or ignored whenever he spoke to him. Remus was sitting in his usual seat near the fire where he had a good view of Regulus. He smiled as he watched him talk to Nigel, and when he smiled back it made a warmth spread in his chest. Polaris, who had been lying rolled up next to Regulus, stretched and then toddled over to Remus' chair and jumped onto his lap. Remus turned his attention to the cat and scratched it behind its ear. Polaris purred fondly and curled into a ball.

After a while Sirius got up and went over to his brother. "Hey, Reggie - could you come with me for a minute?"

Regulus got up a little hesitantly and followed Sirius to his dorm. 

"Remus told me about you and him,” said Sirius, sitting down on his bed. “What made you suddenly change your mind?"

"Oh," said Regulus, feeling embarrassed that his brother now knew for sure that he was gay. "Well... I like him a lot and...” Regulus looked down at his hands, “I thought for once in my life I would do something  _I_  really wanted. Not Mother and Father."

"About bloody time," smiled Sirius and patted his brother’s back. "Good for you, Reggie. You know I want you to be happy. But I want that for Remus too, so you better treat him right. If you want to do this, then do it and don’t go dumping him every other day because you get cold feet.”

"What is this? The big brother _If you hurt him I’m going to kill you_ speech?” said Regulus, looking a little offended. “You’re talking to the wrong person. _I’m_ your brother, you know.”

“We both know I don’t need to warn Remus not to hurt you,” said Sirius, looking straight at his brother.

Regulus nodded, turning his head to look out the window at the lake. “You can't tell anyone,” he said after a while. “Potter might get suspicious at some point and then you can tell him - if you make sure he shuts the bloody hell up about it. But I don't want the little rat to know. He's bad news. Can't be trusted."

"Honestly, Reggie, Peter’s -”

“It’s not up for discussion,” said Regulus, turning his head to look his brother in the eyes. “That’s how it’s going to be.”

Sirius knew his brother well enough to leave it alone for now. They sat for a while, chatting a bit. "If you can’t stand two months without Remus over the summer, you can always come with me to James' house and meet up with him," Sirius grinned.

"Mother and Father would never let me go. They will only let you do it because you're so out of control anyway and because you're of age. You could move out if you wanted to and they don't want that.”

"Well, I’m not moving out until you're of age," said Sirius.

"You could move out if you wanted to, you know. I would understand."

"I'm not leaving you behind with them," said Sirius determined, crossing his arms.

Regulus looked down and nodded. He was eternally grateful for Sirius staying, but it was hard for him to show his gratitude for some reason. "Thanks," he mumbled. 


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19 – "Just Pointing It Out"**

It was difficult having a boyfriend. Remus wanted to do boyfriend things with Regulus but they were both scared of anyone finding out about them so it was hard finding a fitting situation. There always seemed to be someone else around.

"Hey, Moony," said Sirius. "Do you need some private time or something? You two don't ever do anything, do you?"

Remus blushed slightly and shook his head. "Not really…”

“Why don’t you have a date in the dorm? I’ll keep the others busy for a few hours,” suggested Sirius.

“Really?” beamed Remus. “That would be brilliant! Thanks Padfoot.”

"No problem. And be gentle with my brother. He's a virgin after all," grinned Sirius. 

Remus' face burned red as he stared at Sirius, almost dropping his book. "You... you think we would go that far?" he asked in disbelief.

Sirius laughed. "No, I know you're a gentleman and Regulus is a prude. He nearly feinted when I told him about sex a few months ago. Of course that was straight sex, but still. You'll have your work cut out for you."

Remus found Regulus in the library. He discretely slipped him a note and left again, careful not to draw any attention. 

Regulus read the note a few minutes later when it didn't seem suspicious.

_We have the dorm for a few hours. I'll be waiting._

_Remus_

He stared at the paper for a minute and then decided that it would be okay. He went up there from time to time to talk to his brother, so no one would find that unusual. 

**o0o0o**

Remus sat on the bed, waiting nervously for Regulus. To be honest he wasn’t sure if he was coming, but he was crossing his fingers. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and Regulus peaked in. "Don't worry," smiled Remus as he noticed Regulus scanning the room for spies. "Sirius took the others with him to the lake to study. He told me they wouldn't be back for at least a few hours." He walked up to Regulus and gently put his arms around him.

“Oh. Okay," said Regulus. Not sure what to do with his hands he tentatively placed them on Remus' waist. 

Remus smiled and built up a bit of courage before leaning in and letting his lips gently touch Regulus'.

Regulus kissed back a little clumsily. It was a strange situation for him. The first two times they had kissed had been driven by desperation, instinct, but now things were different. Now he had to think about what he was doing and it was difficult, because he wanted to do things _right_ and he wasn't at all sure how that went. He was completely new to this (his brief encounters with Emmeline didn't really count) and it made him very insecure. He had always strived to be good at everything he did, and the things he wasn't so gifted with he worked hard to get better at - or simply didn't do them at all. 

Remus carefully tilted his head to the side and opened his mouth a bit, his tongue sliding over Regulus bottom lip and waiting for an invitation to slip inside. He wanted to take things slowly and he didn’t want to do anything that Regulus wasn’t ready for.

Regulus hesitated. Why was it so difficult now? The other times, he had opened his mouth more than willingly, wanting maximum sensation and contact.

Remus broke the kiss and looked at Regulus. "You okay? We can sit and talk if you would rather do that."

"Snogging is good. I'm just not so experienced..."

"I don’t mind teaching you things. You just need to tell me what you want and tell me if I go too far," Remus smiled and caressed Regulus’ back with a hand, resting the other on his waist.

"Perhaps we should sit and talk a bit," suggested Regulus. “I mean, a proper date doesn't just involve snogging and pawing at each other, I believe."

They sat down on Remus' bed next to each other. Regulus suddenly became aware that his feet were dangling above the ground while Remus' were planted on the floor, so he quickly kicked off his shoes and folded his legs under him. 

"Comfortable?" smiled Remus, putting a hand on Regulus’ knee. He found it difficult not to touch him.

Regulus nodded. "Er... do you have any tea bags? We could boil some water.”

"I do," said Remus and got up to go to his trunk to find the tea he had brought from home. "I only have these left," he said and showed Regulus the bags. He left them next to him before going over to get two cups of water and used a charm to boil the water. "I hope it tastes alright," he smiled and sat down next to Regulus again with the cups in his hands.

Regulus took a large gulp of his tea and cursed inwardly for burning his tongue on the still scalding water. 

"Easy now," said Remus. He took a sip of his own tea and when Regulus still seemed to be in pain, he put the cup down and gently put a hand on Regulus cheek, turning his head to look at his face. "Are you in pain? Can I do anything? Maybe James has a potion that will help."

"No, I'm fine," said Regulus, embarrassed and irritated. "I'm not made of glass." He blew on his tea and took a sip to prove his statement. "So... when do you turn seventeen?"

"I just did," said Remus. "March 10th."

"Oh. Right. I knew that. I'm almost sixteen. In May. So I'm not a lot younger than you." Regulus thought of Davies, who was a seventh year and probably eighteen. Why did Remus suddenly want a small fifteen-year-old?

"No, just a year," Remus smiled. "I really like you, Regulus," he said and looked into his cup. "I meant everything I said that night. That I couldn’t stop thinking about you and look at you. Always made my day when you would say more than hello." He gently let his fingers run over the fabric on Regulus' trousers as he spoke.

Regulus couldn't help smiling a little. He sat his half-empty cup down on the nightstand and asked if they couldn't seat themselves more comfortably on the bed with their backs against the bedrest. He made sure to sit close against Remus, putting a hand on his knee and leaning his head on his shoulder. 

Remus moved an arm around Regulus' lower back and rested his hand on his hip. He leaned his head to the side and lay it against the soft black hair as he took in the scent of Regulus. It felt good to sit with him. He hoped the others would stay away a long time.

"What do your parents do?" asked Regulus, curious as to what kind of work they had since they were so poor. Well, probably only Remus' father worked, since two incomes could hardly amount to so little money.

"My father works at the Ministry," started Remus.

“What?” Regulus cut in. “Why are you so poor if he works at the Ministry?”

Remus gulped. "Because he inherited a large debt that he’s paying off,” he lied. The truth was that his parents spent every knut they could spare on trying to find a cure for Remus’ lycanthropy, but he couldn’t tell Regulus that. “My mother cleans peoples’ houses."

"Cleans peoples’ houses?" repeated Regulus, horror-struck. "But that's house elf work! Why does she take so demeaning work?"

"She doesn’t think it’s demeaning," said Remus, a little hurt. "My mother loves cleaning and cooking. My father rarely gets to use magic around the house. My mother insist on doing everything the Muggle way."

" _Why_?" asked Regulus, unable to wrap his head around this. 

"Well, because she can’t do magic. And, as I said, she likes it." 

"Oh... okay," said Regulus, not knowing if he should feel pity or contempt. If she was Muggle, of course she was primitive. "Why... why did your father marry a Muggle?"

"Because he loved her," smiled Remus and caressed Regulus' leg. "Mum is more outgoing than my father and more in touch with her emotions. She smiles and hugs everyone, where my father is more private. Both wonderful people, though."

"Oh," was all Regulus said, not wanting to risk saying something that would hurt Remus. He was clearly very fond of that Muggle mother. 

Remus knew that Mrs. Black had told her sons that Muggles were dangerous and primitive and he wasn’t going to start a discussion about that now. Hopefully one day Regulus would meet his mother and see for himself that it wasn’t true. "So - what are you going to do over the summer? Any plans or haven't you thought that far ahead yet?"

"I don't have much to plan. I will be staying at the house mostly. Mother and Father don't let me go anywhere, except to visit Barty and family members. The ones who haven't been disowned, that is."

"I’m sorry to hear that. Too bad we can’t see each other over the summer, but at least I can send you Lyra from time to time."

"Yes," sighed Regulus. He didn't look forward to summer. "So you will be having fun with the other three, yes?"

"I suppose. I just wish you could join us. I would love to see you outside of school."

"Yes, well, that’s not likely to happen. They think you three are a very bad influence and they would get a heart attack if they knew I wanted to spend time with you. They're displeased enough that Sirius does it."

"I figured as much," said Remus and sighed. "I had a feeling they did not approve of me even though I’m always on my best behaviour." He kept stroking Regulus' thigh as he spoke.

"They would never approve of you no matter how you behaved. You're half-blood. Now, if you were a Slytherin they would regard you more positively, but they would never think you're worth too much because you're poor and unimportant."

"Do you think that as well?" Remus asked a little nervously. "I mean, have you ever thought that about me?” He had to admit he felt a little hurt by the words but he guessed it was to be expected from Mr. and Mrs. Black.

"I don't think you're unimportant. I like you a lot. Otherwise I wouldn't be sitting here, now would I?" asked Regulus.

"That's true," smiled Remus and pulled Regulus a little closer. "This is nice. Having you all to myself and just sitting here, talking."

"Well," said Regulus, feeling his heart pick up a little at the touch. "Strictly speaking we could be doing that down in the common room. Talking, I mean..."

"Yeah," Remus said and let a finger play around on the fabric of Regulus’ shirt. "But we couldn’t do this." He placed a hand on Regulus’ chin and gently raised his head so he could kiss him.

**o0o0o**

When the three others came back to the Gryffindor Tower James and Peter headed straight for the stairs to the dormitory. 

"Oi, wait a minute," said Sirius and stopped them. "You can’t go up there yet. Remus is... em... having a serious conversation with my brother about some personal stuff and they don't want to be disturbed."

"What the bloody hell are  _they_  talking about that can't be done in public?" asked James, looking like a question mark.

“Really personal stuff," said Sirius. He needed to get James on his own so he could tell him what was up. It would be much easier for them to keep Regulus and Remus' alone time secret if he had James' support.

"But  _what_?" asked Peter. 

"Shut it, Pete. If it's really personal then we can't know, can we?" said James, although he too was dying from curiosity.

"No. It’s personal," said Sirius and cast a glance around. "Hey, Prongs can I talk to you for a second?"

James curiously followed Sirius to a corner of the common room. 

"Um, I don’t know how to quite tell you this but…" said Sirius and looked over at Peter who sat moping in a chair. “Reggie and Moony have hooked up."

James looked at Sirius blankly for a long moment. "What do you mean, hooked up?"

"I mean hooked up. Like going out. Snogging. That sort of thing"

" _What_? You're taking the piss, aren't you? I mean Regulus... perfect little mummy's boy Regulus!"

"I’m not. They are having a date in the dormitory right now. That’s why I told you lads to not go in there."

“Are you telling me that your brother is gay? And with Moony? He's not even pure-blood!"

"Apparently. And I don’t know why he picked Remus. I always thought he would only go out with pure-bloods but I guess he is not as perfect as he wants everyone to believe. Remus is not a bad choice, by the way," he pointed out.

"Of course he isn't. He's too good for Regulus."

Sirius hesitated for a minute, not sure how to feel about James’ statement about his brother. "Well, they fancy each other a lot, it seems, and Remus is happy. Even Reggie smiled at me today. Prongs - you can’t tell anyone about them."

"Why are you telling me and not Wormtail?" asked James, confused.

"For some reason Reggie doesn’t want him to know," said Sirius. "Doesn’t trust him, he says."

"But he trusts me? He doesn't like me anymore than he likes Wormtail. Blimey, you have a weird brother."

"I don’t know. Maybe he trusts that you will keep the secret because I ask you to. He knows how close you and me are." Sirius ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "But yeah, he’s weird."

**o0o0o**

Regulus was sitting in Remus' lap now, still kissing him. He broke away once in a while, casting nervous glances at the door.

"Don't worry," said Remus, letting his hands slide down to Regulus’ lower back and onto his hips. "No one is going to barge in. The door is locked."

Regulus turned his head, eying Remus with a quirked eyebrow. "Have you ever heard of _Alohomora_ _?_ "

"I have," grinned Remus. "But they know not to go in when our door is locked. We learned that the hard way from Sirius. And Sirius is keeping watch downstairs."

"Hmm... I wouldn't be so trusting if I were you. They might let curiosity get the best of them and take a peak."

"I trust them," said Remus." He let a finger creep under the hem of Regulus’ shirt and caressed the warm skin underneath. "But we can stop if you want."

Regulus was about to say something more but this new touch on his bare skin sent a thrill up his spine. "N-no. I'm sure they'll stay away..."

Remus leaned in for another kiss, letting his hand slide further up under the other boy’s shirt.

"Oh," gasped Regulus and kissed back, getting rather excited about the way Remus' fingertips were tickling his back. He was curious of touching Remus under the clothes as well, so he dipped his fingers below his collar and ran them tentatively along his collarbone. 

**o0o0o**

"How long does that talk take?" asked Peter irritably. "They've been up there forever! I need to go get my books so I can get to work on that star chart."

"I'll go ask them," sighed Sirius and walked up the stairs to knock on the door. 

Remus quickly removed his hand from under Regulus' shirt and looked up at him with an expression of disappointment. 

"Lads? Peter needs his books so you better break it up," called Sirius though the door.

Regulus sighed and got off the bed. "Well, I suppose we've been her long enough, anyway. We can't have people getting suspicious."

"I suppose…” sighed Remus and got up from the bed as well. He gave Regulus a quick peck on the lips before adjusting his clothes and going over to the door.

"Sorry I had to cut you lads short," said Sirius as Remus opened the door. Remus smiled and shook his head. "No it's fine. I'm just glad we got to borrow the room for a bit."

Luckily Regulus could go straight to his own dorm without having to go past the common room, but as dinner time approached an hour later he had to, unless he wanted to go hungry to bed. He walked down the stairs, head held high, noticing both James and Peters' eyes glued curiously to him. 

"What did you and Moony have to talk about that was so important?" asked Peter. 

Regulus stopped and pinned him with his gaze. "Do you know what killed the cat, Pettigrew?"

Peter stuck out his lower lip and crossed his arms. 

"It's none of our business, Wormtail," said Sirius. "If they wanted us to know then they wouldn't have gone to the dormitory."

Remus sighed. It was difficult having these feelings for someone and having to keep it hidden. Especially from one of his best friends.

**o0o0o**

It was difficult for Regulus meeting Sirius' eye the following days, not to talk about James. It was embarrassing, them knowing he was gay and doing things with their friend. 

"Why are you so moody all of a sudden?" asked Barty. "Did your brother have a go at you again?"

"I'm not moody," said Regulus. 

"You seem moody."

Remus stood a bit away from then and looked over at Regulus. He couldn't help but smile and had to look away so it didn't seem suspicious.

"Hey, Remus," sounded a voice. Remus turned around to see a boy named Liam approach him. He and Remus had Care of Magical Creatures together. 

"Hi, Liam," smiled Remus. "You alright?"

"Yeah. I just talked to Professor Kettleburn, and he said he had managed to acquire a colony of clabberts. I've never seen one in real life, have you?"

"No I haven’t," smiled Remus and hugged his books to his chest. "I’ll certainly looking forward to next lesson!"

Regulus lost trail of what was Barty was saying when spotting Remus talking to a Hufflepuff boy. Regulus didn't know him. What were they talking about, with Remus all smiley?"

"Hey, Reg, did you hear what I said? About Professor Binns?" asked Barty.

"No, why would I care to hear anything about Binns? He's the most boring bloke in the world."

Barty raised his eyebrows. “Blimey, who pissed on your cereal this morning? Binns is not _that_ boring, he’s -"

"Yes he is! He's been dead for a hundred years and nobody cares about him," said Regulus, irritated at Barty's insistence to talk about insignificant things. "Well, I'm off to class. See you later," he said and stalked off toward the dungeons, feeling in a very bad mood. 

**o0o0o**

After dinner Remus sat down in the armchair next to the one Regulus sat curled up, reading. There weren't anybody else sitting close by, so they could talk freely. 

Regulus gave him a short nod but didn't look up from his book. 

"Did I do something?" Remus asked nervously and leaned forwards to look at him. "You seem mad at me..."

"I'm not mad," said Regulus and kept reading. A minute later he asked, still not looking up from the book, "Who's that pig-faced Hufflepuff who was talking to you at breakfast?"

"Liam?" Remus asked confused. "He is just a bloke from Care of Magical Creatures. He asked me about some stuff for class. Why do you ask?"

Regulus shrugged. "You certainly looked like you like him a lot."

Remus raised his eyebrows, looking confused. "I was just being friendly. He is a nice person so I’m being nice to him."

"Well, you might want to be careful with that. He might get ideas."

"I don’t think so. He also has a girlfriend so you don’t need to worry about him," said Remus. "Besides I'm not interested in him. Only you."

"Well, I had a girlfriend too, remember? It could be a cover-up for how he really feels."

"I highly doubt it. And isn’t it enough that _I’m_ not interested? I only fancy you. Not Liam, or anybody else for that matter."

Regulus shrugged. "Just pointing it out..."

"You really don’t have to worry. I’m only interested in you. I thought you knew that by now."

"Well," said Regulus after a minute, snapping his book shut and getting up. "I think I'll turn in early. I'm tired. Good night." Then he hurried off to his dorm. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20 – “Why Don’t You Keep Your Nose to Yourself?”**

A warm afternoon in early May the Marauders plus Regulus went down to sit by the lake, to relax in the sun. Sirius threw himself on the back and kicked off his shoes and socks. "Ah… I needed that," he said, folding his arms behind his head.

"Be careful with that. Might kill the grass with those sour feet," teased James. 

Sirius laughed and punched James’ shoulder. "Been sitting in class all day so I need some freedom."

Remus sat down leaning against a tree trunk and opened the book he had brought in order to read up on some potions homework

Regulus lay on his back as close to Remus as he dared. He had started hanging out with the Marauders on a regular basis. Both to spend more time with Remus, but also because he reckoned that people would be less suspicious of seeing him and Remus together now that Regulus was getting so close with the group. He also had to admit he enjoyed his brother’s company (most of the time), and had the feeling was it was mutual. James and Peter was just something he had to endure.

Remus looked down at Regulus, smiling. He wished Peter knew about them so they could act just a little like a couple. He wanted to reach out and touch Regulus, run his fingers through the raven hair shining in the sun, but he dared not.

Regulus folded his cloak into a bundle and propped it under his head, closing his eyes and falling asleep within minutes. 

"Hey, Moony, how far have you come?" asked Peter, who was reading the same chapter as Remus.

"W-what?" said Remus and snapped out of his thoughts, turning his head back to his book. "Um... half a page." Usually he was a fast reader but his gaze kept wandering to the sleeping form on the grass next to him. The pretty face, looking so peaceful in its sleep. The thick coal lashes fanned across lightly tanned cheekbones.

"What? I'm already on fourth page! What’re you doing?"

"I think Moony is enjoying the view," grinned James. "Isn't that right, Moony?"

Sirius flashed James a grin. It was pretty clear to them where Remus’ attention had been.

Remus gulped and bent his head to start reading more concentratedly. "Y-yeah I was just looking around. Enjoying the weather..."

“Yeah. Lovely, innit?" continued James. "And I bet you think it's pretty _hot_ too."

Peter looked at James, a little confused. “It’s not _that_ hot. I’m actually regretting not bringing a jumper.”

Remus felt his face burn red and gulped again, not taking his eyes off the sentence that he had probably read ten times now.

Both Sirius and James snickered. Sirius was supportive but he was not above teasing both Remus and his brother. It was funny, because Remus got flustered and Regulus got mad. 

"What's so funny, lads?" asked Peter, feeling left out.

"Oh nothing. Just thought of something funny that happened last week. In potions class. Remember? You blew up a cauldron when trying to brew that Snuffling Potion." It was the only thing Sirius could think of on the spot and he knew if he didn’t come up with something then Peter would keep asking.

Regulus mumbled something in his sleep and turned onto his side so that his face was mere centimetres from Remus' hip.

Remus looked down at him and couldn't help but smile. He glanced at Peter and seeing that he had gone back to reading, Remus carefully moved a hand down and brushed a lock of hair out of Regulus' face. It looked like it was tickling him.

**o0o0o**

"What's up with your little friend, Crouch?" asked Mulciber, looking in the direction of the Marauders and Regulus. He, Barty, Avery, Rosier, Nott, and Snape were hanging by another tree farther down the shore, lazing on the sun.

"Yeah, he has been sticking to his freak of a brother and his friends an awful lot lately," commented Rosier. 

"I’m not really sure," said Barty. "We haven’t talked so much lately. They’re a pack of idiots if you ask me."

"Yes, we all know that," said Mulciber dryly. "The question is why little Black has moved closer to them and further away from you, Barty, and Slytherin in general. He used to have  _some_  sort of taste and honour, even though he is a Gryffindor."

Snape snorted. "I told you he couldn't be trusted."

Barty looked in the direction of Regulus and sighed. "I’m sure it’s nothing…"

"Well, we will have to find out," said Avery. "He knows things about us from that meeting which he best keep to himself. And who knows what else he knows? Maybe he’s been spying on us."

"Yeah, I don’t trust that little wanker one bit," said Nott, narrowing his eyes.

"Lads, he can be trusted," said Barty. "Even if he isn’t interested in joining us then he would not rat us out. He would keep it to himself." 

"Yes?" said Rosier. "And how can you be so sure? You were also sure he was a true supporter of the Dark Lord, and look at him now. I've also seen him chatting away with that Mudblood tramp Evans.

Snape stiffened and his eyes turned dark, but he didn't say anything. 

"I don’t know…” said Barty. “But I'm sure there’s a good explanation. Maybe he’s spying on _them_. I’ll have a talk with him about it.”

"You better. We must to find out if some damage control is needed," said Mulciber.

**o0o0o**

"Oh, man, I could really do with a cold drink. How about you lads?" asked Sirius. The others nodded and Sirius continued," well, I got stuff last time, so it's someone else's turn. How ‘bout you, Wormtail? You haven't gone recently.”

Peter sighed. "Yeah, alright." 

He left and Sirius and James turned their attention to each other, talking about a prank they had played recently.

Remus took the opportunity to stroke Regulus’ hair gently. James and Sirius didn’t seem to pay attention to them so he kept doing it. Regulus sighed and smiled in his sleep, moving closer to Remus so they were actually touching. Remus smiled and ran a thumb softly over Regulus’ cheek. He loved to see him smile. Made him want to just lean down and kiss him.

Regulus woke a minute later and flinched when realising somebody had their fingers in his hair. He bolted upright, staring at Remus, feeling his heart hammer away in alarm. 

Remus looked equally startled as he withdrew his hand. "Don't worry," he said in a low voice. "Peter left so it's just James and Sirius here with us."

"Oh. It's not that. I was just startled.”

Remus smiled and caressed his cheek with two fingers. "I'm sorry I startled you. I couldn't help myself..."

"Oh, well..." said Regulus, looking nervously from Remus to James and his brother. Then he sighed. "It would be nice if they would get lost for a moment so it could be just us. But that would look strange."

"I suppose," said Remus and sighed as well. "I wish we had a place we could go just the two of us and not have to worry about being seen."

"Actually," said Regulus, speaking in a low voice so he was sure only Remus could hear him. "I think I know a place. One of the elves told me about a special room which is supposed to appear only to those in need. And you have to pace by it, thinking of how much you need it. I haven’t tried but I thought we might check it out."

"Really?" said Remus, raising his eyebrows. He had never heard of such a room and was surprised that there might be somewhere at Hogwarts that he and his friends had not discovered in the quest of making the Marauders’ Map.

"That’s what the elf said. I should probably go alone and ask if she can show it to me,” said Regulus. “It would look suspicious if we're seen alone together. It would be great, though, if it works. We could finally have a place to be where we didn't have to be scared of someone walking in on us."

"Yes, it would be brilliant," beamed Remus.

"I think I will go find out right away!" said Regulus excitedly, jumping to his feet. "See you blokes later.”

"Why's he in such a hurry?" asked James, watching the hastily retreating Regulus. "Unhappy with the company?"

"No, he just forgot he had to be somewhere else," smiled Remus. He looked after Regulus until he was out of sight and then returned to his book. 

Sirius closed his eyes again, enjoying the sunlight on his face. "It's nice to be able to relax a bit.”

"You should really do your homework," said Remus in a worried tone. Sirius rarely did his homework but he nearly always got top marks anyway. 

"Not necessary. Why are you in such a hurry with yours, anyway? It isn’t due for another week. "

"Because a full moon is coming up," sighed Remus.

"Right. Sorry, Moony. I really hope it's not going to be as horrible as last time.”

"It won’t," said Remus. Last time he had been very upset because of Regulus, and his transformations were usually rougher when his was upset.

"Talking about the full moon,” said James. “Now you and little Mr. Pure-blood are getting close, have you thought about the risk of him finding out about your furry little problem?"

"I try not to think about it," sighed Remus. "I'm afraid he will get scared and not talk to me ever again."

"Right..." said James. "Hey, Padfoot, how do you think he would react?"

Sirius thought about it for a minute. Regulus had always been very afraid of werewolves so he shared Remus’ concern. "I’m not sure. I’m sure he’ll be upset, but if he gets to know you well first then perhaps he will get over it. I really don’t know, Moony. Reggie can be hard to predict."

"Well, it he has a problem with it I'll put him in his place, don't worry about that," said James, hammering a fist into his palm. 

"If he has a problem with it, there’s nothing to do about it," said Remus, fearing that Regulus would actually leave him when he found out. “But I will have to tell him eventually. It isn’t fair to keep him in the dark, and sooner or later he is bound to figure it out on his own, anyway. He’s not stupid.”

"Personally I think you should keep it to yourself for as long as you can, Moony,” said Sirius, “but if you do decide to tell him, promise to come to me first. I will have to make sure he doesn't blab about it. We can't have you kicked out of school before you get your NEWTs."

**o0o0o**

Regulus could barely conceal his excitement when he came in through the portrait hole and threw himself on the couch next to Remus. "I found it," he whispered, leaning close to Remus' ear. 

"Really? You did?"

"Let's go right away," said Regulus. "I'll go first and then you come in ten minutes.” He explained to Remus how to get to the room, and hurried off.

When Remus a little later arrived on the seventh floor by the painting of the dancing trolls, a door suddenly appeared in the wall and Regulus peaked out. He looking quickly from side to side, making sure no one had seen anything and then pulled Remus in, quickly sealing the door with a _Colloportus_.

Remus looked around the room. It was very cosy, with a bed and a couple of chairs next to a fireplace. "Blimey. I had no idea this room was here. Never even heard of it," he said and turned to Regulus with a smile.

Regulus didn't waste any time talking. He had been itching all day to be physical with Remus, so he dug his fingers into his jumper, pulled him close and kissed him urgently. Remus wrapped his arms around his tiny waist, kissing him back eagerly.

For the first time being able to feel safe from being walked in on, Regulus got completely lost in the kiss, holding nothing back. He pushed himself hard against Remus, cradling his face in his hands as if afraid he would pull away if he didn't. 

Remus was a little surprised by Regulus' eagerness but he liked it. Not breaking the kiss, he started walking the smaller boy backwards towards the bed where they would be able to sit down, Regulus hit the bed with the back of his knees and buckled over, landing on his back, Remus on top of him. 

Regulus wrapped his arms around Remus, running his hands up and down his back, wanting to feel him better. Then he resolutely tugged at Remus’ jumper and T-shirt, hinting blatantly that he wanted them off. 

Remus sat up and pulled off his shirts, nervous about Regulus’ reaction. In his own opinion, he had an ugly body. Lean and sinewy, scars generously strewn over the pale skin. But to his relief, the expression on Regulus’ face as he studied Remus’ chest was not one of disappointment. No, he looked intrigued as he traced a quite long scar with a finger.

Regulus was no less nervous about showing his chest than Remus had been. It was no more masculine than the rest of him, but Remus had exposed himself so it was only fair that Regulus did the same, so he quickly pulled his shirt over his head and looked at Remus, biting his lip. 

Remus' eyes widened as he smoothed his hands over the soft, flawless skin with its natural light tan. "You’re really good looking, Regulus," he said, not able to move his eyes away.

"You too," mumbled Regulus, smiling shyly. Then he leaned in attaching his mouth to Remus' with reinforced energy. Remus lay down on his back, pulling Regulus with him. He let his hands slide slowly down Regulus’ back and then onto his bottom. Regulus kissed deeper, feeling like he couldn't get enough of Remus. It was so exciting being so close to him, being shirtless and feeling his hands on him. Wanting to feel more, Regulus let his whole body rest on Remus. Their naked chests touching sent another rush through Regulus, but then he felt something hard pressing against his hip and, realising what it was, he jumped away from Remus. 

Remus was bemused but then realised what had scared Regulus, so he quickly pulled the covers over himself, feeling slightly embarrassed. "Oh... I’m sorry," he said, sitting up.

"Um..." said Regulus, feeling stupid. It shouldn't have been that much of a surprise to him that Remus was hard when he himself was. Thinking about it, Remus might well have noticed, and that made Regulus a little embarrassed. "S'alright," he mumbled. "Just a little surprised. Which is stupid, of course..."

"It’s okay,” Remus smiled. “I was just worried that maybe you didn’t like the feeling. I mean me against you like that." He had felt Regulus’ hardness as well and been very aroused by it, but he remembered how odd it had felt for himself his first time with Noel. He was, however, not going to tell Regulus that, since he had learned that Regulus could get rather jealous.

"Of course I liked it," said Regulus, puffing up his chest, trying to sound confident. Wasn't this just great? If Remus hadn't already thought he was too young and inexperienced, then there was a good chance he did now. Acting like a little girl who became frightened of a hard-on. "I liked it just fine. Just thought maybe we should take a little break, that's all..."

"We can do that," smiled Remus and patted the spot beside him. "We can just cuddle for a bit if you want?" Remus felt a little guilty for freaking Regulus out and hoped it had not scared him so much that he wouldn’t want to try again.

Regulus nodded and crept closer to Remus, lying down on his side to face him. “It's not at all that I minded the other thing," he said, again trying to save face, hoping Remus didn't think he was scared. 

"Well, it’s good to take things slow," smiled Remus. He gently ran a hand over Regulus’ hair while leaning in to place a soft kiss on his lips. "We can take all the time we need. No pressure at all."

"Is that what you want or are you just trying to be nice and patient like always?" asked Regulus a little sceptically. 

"I don’t mind going slow. Truth be told I'm also a little nervous," admitted Remus. "I’m not a lot more experienced than you, and I want us both to be comfortable with what we’re doing."

"I'm not nervous!" insisted Regulus. 

"Okay, okay," said Remus. "But I am. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

"Where do your friends think you are?" asked Regulus half an hour later as they lay in each other’s arms. 

"I said I was just getting a few things. Sirius and James have probably guessed I'm with you, though."

Regulus was quiet for a moment. "What do you think they think we're doing when we're together? My brother and Potter?"

Remus was lying with his eyes closed and gently let his fingers run over Regulus' naked shoulder. "Mm... I don’t know. I think they think we are just snogging. Actually I don’t think they like to think too much about what we’re doing."

"Oh..." said Regulus, a little relieved. "Well, they better not. It's none of their business."

A bit later they decided they best get back in time for curfew, so they both put on their shirts. 

"Don't tell them about the room, yeah?" said Regulus. "I want it to be private. Just ours."

"I agree," Remus smiled and put his arms around Regulus, leaning down for one more kiss before they left.

"Swear," said Regulus, kissing Remus open-mouthed, unable to resist pulling him close again. 

"I swear," mumbled Remus into Regulus' mouth. 

"I'm not, convinced," hummed Regulus, not wanting to leave just yet. 

"How can I convince you?"

"I don't know. Show me you're serious."

"I  _am_ serious," said Remus as he backed Regulus towards the bed again, completely forgetting that they had a curfew to keep.

Regulus wrapped his arms around Remus' waist and held on tight as if afraid that he would get up. His weight on him as they lay down was intoxicating and Regulus forgot all about curfew as well. He just wanted more of Remus, and this time he didn't spook when he felt him poking into his thigh. 

Remus broke the kiss and made his way down Regulus' jawline, planting kisses as he went.

"O...oh," gasped Regulus as the feeling of lips on his neck sent thrills through his body. Remus had never kissed him quite so far from his face before and it felt extremely good, setting his nerve endings on fire. Remus pushed up his shirt so he could move on to his chest. When he closed his lips around a perked nipple, Regulus swore something under his breath and raised his chest up, urging Remus on as he tangled his finger in the tawny locks to keep him from moving away. 

Remus smiled against the warm skin, pleased with Regulus’ reaction. Then he moved further down, kissing his way to his bellybutton, dipping his tongue into it.

Regulus raised his hips without realising it and gasped, "Remus," feeling more turned on than he had ever been.

Remus confidently moved further down, kissing Regulus’ hipbone and gently letting his hands play on the hem of his' trousers. He wasn’t sure how far he dared go, not wanting to cross a line.

Regulus realised how far down Remus had got. What now? He didn't intend to go any further… did he? Regulus was still very turned on but became self-conscious as he thought of where Remus' head was. But if he stopped him now, what would Remus think? That he was too young and immature? Then the perfect excuse came to him. "Remus," he said, lying still. "The curfew. We're going to be late."

Remus looked up, then sighed and nodded. "You're right. We can't cause suspicion so I suppose we better get going." To be honest he was still turned on so it would probably be best to stay behind for a minute or two so he could collect himself. He sat up and ran a hand though his messy hair and he smiled at Regulus. "You go first or should I?"

Regulus left the room first, thinking of Remus the whole way back to the tower. 

**o0o0o**

"Sooo, Moony," snickered Sirius as they sat without Peter in the common room. "Took you a while to find the things you went for. We actually considered if you had got lost."

Remus blushed heavily. "I, um..." he stuttered and sank into a chair.

"Yeah," grinned James. "What were you so busy with? Get lucky?"

"What? Lucky?" Remus said and blushed even more.

"I think he means if you shagged," said Sirius and laughed at the expression on Remus’ face.

"No! No. We didn’t go that far at all," he gulped and thought of what Regulus had said about them minding their own business. "Besides, it’s none of your business."

James laughed. "Oh, come on. It's not as though we don't share about our love escapades."

"Well, _you_ don't have any, except for your fantasising over Lily, and Padfoot - do you honestly want to hear that kind of details about your brother?" Remus retorted. 

"Nope," said Sirius quickly. "I don’t, but apparently Prongs does. He’s missing something in his own love life so he has to intrude on others’."

"I don't want _actual_ details!" James said. "Just the essence of it.”

Regulus came down to the common room just then and slumped into an armchair. Both James and Sirius stopped talking and eyed him with an odd expression. Remus looked a little flushed. What had they just been talking about? "What are you doing?" he asked suspiciously. 

"Nothing, little brother. Just trying to get some details out of Remus, but he doesn’t want to tell us anything, so maybe you can fill us in?" He laughed as Remus sank even deeper into his seat.

"Why don't you keep your nose to yourself, you pervert?" snapped Regulus. "Or I'll hex it green and warty. See how sexy your girlfriend thinks you are then."

"Relax," said Sirius. "I'm not the most curious. James is."

"Well," said Regulus, "I don't really need to hex Potter's appearance. He is already exactly the way Evans does not like him."

Both Sirius and Remus laughed, although Remus tried to hide it.

"You’re laughing now," said James, crossing his arms. "But just you wait and see who gets the last laugh. She will be mine soon enough."

“Excuse me if that old threat fails to scare me any longer,” said Regulus.

"Hey, Reggie," said Sirius, suddenly remembering something. "Your birthday is next Friday."

"Yes, I know," said Regulus pointedly. "It has been for the past fifteen years."

"Yes, you git, but what do you want to do?"

"I want to go to lessons and then Quidditch practice, since it is Friday."

"Isn’t there something special you want to do?" asked Remus, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah," said Sirius. "We could have a little party in our dorm. Don’t tell me you just want to play Quidditch and do homework on your sixteenth birthday!"

Regulus shrugged. "I suppose we could do that. Just no more firewhiskey." 

"Deal," grinned Sirius and then leaned close to his brother. "Got you going with Remus though, didn’t it?"

Regulus put up his haughty mine and willed himself to not blush. Because Blacks did not blush.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21 – “Happy Birthday”**

Lily walked down the corridor, minding her own business, as she passed a group of Slytherins.

"Hey, Mudblood," called Nott. "Why don’t you fuck off back to the Muggle world? You don’t belong here."

Lily stopped and turned to face them. "You know," she said in a stiff tone. "If you spent more time focusing on your own education instead of others’ you might actually have a chance of getting a few NEWTs."

"Watch it, Red," snarled Avery. "If you were a little smart you would fear us. Severus isn't your little friend anymore, so there's no one protecting you any longer. He has finally realised that you lot are all the same."

It hurt being reminded of Severus, but Lily did not let it show. "Yes? Well, you lot are obviously the same too. Narrow-minded and ignorant."

"Watch your tone," said Rosier, narrowing his eyes. "Or we might have to teach you a lesson.”

"Good thing I got an Outstanding OWL in Defence Against the Dark Arts, then," said Lily and brushed her hair back.

"She really  _is_  stupid," grinned Barty to the others. "Thinking she can take on the six of us?"

"She doesn't have to," growled a voice. 

The Marauders and Regulus came down the small corridor just then. Seeing the Slytherins, Regulus stopped for a second, wanting to slip away, but it was too late. They had seen him. 

Lily turned her head to look at the five newly arrived. "You don't have to defend me."

"We would just be helping you out kicking this scum’s arses," said Sirius.

"Well, Regulus will be joining on our side," said Barty and looked at his friend who had taken a step behind his brother.

"Regulus can decide for himself," said Remus.

"Shut up, Lupin," growled Barty, sneering at Remus. "We have a filthy Mudblood here who needs to be put in her place!"

"Shut the bloody hell up, Crouch!" snarled Sirius, stepping forwards, drawing his wand and pointing it at Barty. 

The Slytherins all pulled out their wands as fast as they could, but James put a hand on his fuming friend. "Sirius, wait. There's no need to start hexing each other. I for one don't think these boneheads are worth risking getting expelled for."

"Who are you calling boneheads?" snarled Rosier, pointing his wand at James.

But Avery sent him a stern gaze. "Evan – leave it. Pothead actually has a point. This isn’t worth getting expelled over. We can take care of Mudbloods and blood-traitors when we get out of here. Come on lads."

The Slytherins grumbled a bit but then retreated, Barty shooting a glance towards Regulus before walking off with his friends.

Lily turned towards James, looking rather surprised. "I didn’t know you could actually be that mature, Potter," she said and hooked a lock of hair behind her ear, sending him a little smile.

"Well," said James, puffing out his chest like a rooster. "I have become older and wiser, you know."

Regulus stood looking down at his feet, his hand still clutched hard around his wand in his pocket. He felt like a coward for not having said anything or openly chosen sides. Of course he knew where his loyalties lay and had it come to a fight, he would have joined, of course. He could not just stand and watch his brother or Remus get hurt.

"Are you okay?" asked Remus who stood close to Regulus and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. He knew he had been put in an awkward position with Barty trying to call him to join them.

Irritably Regulus shook Remus' hand off and stepped away from him. Wasn't it enough that he was ashamed of himself? Did Remus also have to treat him like a child in need of comfort? "What do you mean, Lupin?" he snapped. "It isn't as if anything happened."

Remus looked a little caught off guard. "S-sorry. I was just... never mind," he settled with and looked down at his feet, feeling like he had done something wrong.

"Well, I'm going to my next lesson," said Regulus and stalked off.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with that bloke?" asked James, watching Regulus leave. 

Sirius placed a hand on Remus' shoulder, watching his brother retreat as well. "He’s not happy with being called out by Barty and not really wanting to join that side," said Sirius.

"He's weird," said Peter. "If that's the case, why couldn't he just say so?"

"Reggie’s just like that," said Sirius. "He won’t tell you what he’s feeling or thinking."

"Still, he didn't have to snap at Moony like that," said James. "He was just being kind. Moony, if I were you I wouldn't put up with it."

**o0o0o**

"Did you see that little shit?" growled Nott as they walked away from the scene. "Barty, stop being so blind. I swear he's either a coward or a traitor."

"He’s just scared of his brother,” said Barty. "He would have joined us had Sirius not been there. I’m sure of it."

"Scared of his brother? He's a coward, then!" said Rosier. "What use is he to us if he's a coward?"

Barty bit his lip. He really needed to have a talk with Regulus about what side he was on. "I’ll talk to him about it," he then said firmly.

"Good," said Avery. "Because either way, we've got to do something about him."

"What do you mean, do something about him?" asked Barty.

"Well... Let's just wait and hear what he has to say first."

"Why didn't you react when I called for you yesterday?" asked Barty as he caught up with Regulus on their way to Potions class.

 “I'm not a dog, you know," said Regulus. 

"I thought you were my friend and not some Gryffindor twat. You made me look like a fool in front of the other Slytherins!"

"It wasn't my business. I honestly didn't think you lot would have a problem handling Evans on your own."

"There were five of them! Why are you walking around with them, anyway? The lads are starting to talk. Saying you're a coward or a spy. Afraid you will tell on us."

"If I was going to tell on you I would already have done it, wouldn't I?" snapped Regulus. "I told you from the start - I didn't want to know about your plans, because I didn't want to be drawn into them and I didn't want to be suspected of ratting you out!"

"Alright, alright," said Barty defensively. "I’m just telling you what the lads said. But don't want to join? It would really do you good and would get you some decent friends instead of those twats from Gryffindor. I thought you hated your brother but you’ve started following him around like a lap dog."

"Don't call me a lap dog," growled Regulus. "You know it's complicated with Sirius and I. Yes, I hate his guts sometimes, but he's still my brother, and there's nothing more important to Blacks than family. You do know that, don't you?"

"I still don’t see why you have to follow him around," said Barty stiffly and went to sit down as the lesson was about to begin.

"Listen," said Regulus in a kinder voice. "I'm sorry that I haven't spent much time with you lately. But about me hanging around that lot - you have to remember that they're my house mates. I'm tired of being lonely in my own house, so I've become a bit more social, that's all. I still wish I were in Slytherin, but that just isn't reality."

"I know, mate," sighed Barty. "It’s dreadful. I feel sorry for you that you’re stuck with that company."

"Well," said Regulus. "I've got used to it. Well, Potter honestly gets on my nerves, and Pettigrew is a little rat, but at least he's quiet most of the time so it's easier to pretend he's not there."

**o0o0o**

Regulus woke Friday morning to a high-pitched voice singing _Happy Birthday_. “NIGEL!” he exclaimed, rubbing his eyes. "What the bloody hell are you playing at?" He had managed to keep his birthday date secret from his roommates so far, but obviously Nigel had figured it out.

"But it's your birthday and it should be celebrated with song," beamed Nigel and continued his high-pitched singing.

Remus met Regulus at the foot of the stairs and asked if he could have a moment of his time in the Marauders’ dormitory. As the door closed he put his arms around him and gave him a soft kiss. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you," said Regulus, feeling less frustrated. Getting attention from Remus was much nicer than getting it from Nigel.

"I got you something," said Remus and handed Regulus a nicely wrapped gift.

"Oh," said Regulus, looking at the present. It hadn't occurred to him that Remus might get him something. "T-thank you," he said and unwrapped it. Inside was a soft green jumper. Regulus held it up, eying it sceptically. Then he pulled it over his head. Or tried to. Angrily he pulled it back off and glared furiously at Remus. "This would fit a first year! Do you think I’m that small? Is that how you see me? Your tiny little boy-toy?"

"What?" said Remus nervously and gulped. "I must have miscalculated the sizes," he tried to explain. "I’m sorry. I’m sure we can get it in the right size for you. I’ll just send Lyra back to the store."

"Don't bother!" yelled Regulus and threw the jumper in Remus' face. "Return it and get your money back!" Then he marched off, slamming the door behind him. 

Remus hung his head, looking at the jumper. He had been so excited to give Regulus his gift and hoped he would be happy.

**o0o0o**

"Hi, Moony," Sirius smiled as Remus found him and the others already seated at the breakfast table. No Regulus, though. "Did you talk to birthday boy? Where is he? I thought he was with you."

"He’s angry with me," sighed Remus and sat down. "I got him a jumper but it was too small. I really thought I had the right size..."

"Oh, Merlin," said Sirius, rolling his eyes. "Not that again! Well, you know how touchy he is about his size. He can be a right little bitch about it. Don't let it get to you."

"I try," sighed Remus. He hated when someone was mad at him. Especially Regulus. "Would you mind terribly if I asked to have Regulus to myself for the evening? I’d like to make up for my mistake with a romantic evening of some sort."

"But what about the party?" whined Sirius. He had been looking forward to that.

"I’m sorry," mumbled Remus. He knew it was much to ask Sirius to cancel a party but he really needed this. "I just want to do something special for him so he forgives me for the jumper.” He looked at Sirius with pleading eyes. 

Sirius sighed. "If you think that's best, although you really don’t owe him an excuse. So what do you want me to do? Other than not having a party."

"You can still have the party, just without us. But I’d like for you to tell him to meet me tonight. He knows where. Would you do that?"

"All right. Where?" asked Sirius curiously. "What time?"

"Seven would be fine," said Remus. "And sorry, Padfoot, but it's our special place. It’s a secret. I hope you understand.”

**o0o0o**

Regulus was not really looking forward to the party tonight. He was still in a bad mood. Also, he was feeling a little guilty for the way he had acted that morning. Remus surely had only meant well with the gift. And when he had cooled down he also realised that Remus had probably had to save up for a while. It did not look like a low-quality jumper. 

"Reggie!" called a voice.

Regulus looked up to spot Sirius coming towards him, waving an arm in the air.

"Glad I caught you," he smiled and held out an envelope. "Happy birthday little brother."

Regulus took the envelope. "Thanks." He opened it and found two Quidditch tickets for the game between Britain and Sweden in July. A smile spread on his face. "Wicked! Thanks a lot, Sirius. We can go together if Mother and Father allow it."

"I’m sure I can talk them into it. It’s just you and me, and the tickets are already bought.” He then leaned close to his brother’s ear. "Remus asked me to tell you to meet him at some secret place at seven tonight. He said you knew where.” Sirius ruffled his brother’s hair and wished him a good time before hurrying off down the hall where he spotted James talking to Lily.

"But... what about dinner?" Regulus asked the empty air. Seven was when dinner was served in the Great Hall. Maybe Remus had thought of something. He couldn't help feeling a little excited about the surprise. 

**o0o0o**

Regulus slipped inside the Room of Requirement a precisely seven O'clock. 

The room was illuminated by the warm glow of the fireplace and numerous lit candles. In the middle of the room stood a small table set for two.

Remus smiled nervously as Regulus. "I… I wanted to do something special for you, So I thought we could have a nice dinner alone in here."

Regulus looked around and then smiled, stepping up to Remus. "That's nice. Sounds much better that a drinking fest with the boozer twins.”

Remus put his arms around Regulus and smiled down at him. "I’m glad you came." He tipped his head and placed a gentle kiss on Regulus' lips.

Regulus kissed him back. "I'm sorry about this morning. I know you meant well, and that jumper can't have been cheap."

"It’s alright," said Remus. "I’m sorry I bought the wrong size for you. I sent it back to get a new size but it takes a few days. I just... I really want you to have that jumper. I thought it would look good on you."

"Well... It did look nice."

They sat down to eat. It was a delicious meal and the elves had even given them half a bottle of champagne to share. 

"Wicked," said Regulus. "How did you pull that off?"

"I just asked nicely," said Remus. "Told them I wanted to surprise someone I cared for." He poured them both a glass and raised his glass. "Happy birthday, love."

Regulus gulped. Love? It didn't mean anything like "I love you," of course, it was more a pet name. Still he didn't quite know how to react to that. Well, as long as Remus didn't call him that in front of the others... Regulus nodded and raised his glass. "Thank you.”

Remus smiled and took a sip of champagne. "Get any other presents today? I‘m sure Sirius had something for you. He sent an owl a week ago to get something. I don’t know what it was, though."

“Yes. It was tickets for a Quidditch game this summer. Brilliant!"

"That’s a great gift, indeed," nodded Remus and took another bite of his food.

The champagne brought colour to Regulus' cheeks and a light buzz in his body. They were both in a good mood and laughing and talking avidly.

"So," said Regulus as he put his fork down after having eaten the last piece of desert. "What are your intentions with me, Mr. Lupin?"

Remus smiled and leaned in close to Regulus’ face. “Why? Do you think I have wicked plans with you?”

"Perhaps," said Regulus as he felt his gaze lock on Remus' eyes. He had been drawn to those eyes ever since he first met Remus as a child. Very unique eyes. Warm amber.

Remus’ eyes drift shut as he closed the gap between them in a gentle kiss. It felt good to know that they were not in a hurry to get back. Sirius and James had promised to cover for them should they not get back before curfew. If it were up to Remus, they would spend the night here.

Regulus got lost in the kiss, feeling warm and relaxed from the champagne and wonderfully comfortable in Remus' company. The kiss slowly grew deeper and more and more passionate until they stumbled over to the bed and crashed on it, wrapped up in each other, hands moving everywhere. 

Remus moved down Regulus' neck and pushed up his shirt. When Regulus did not stop him, Remus started kissing his way down his chest and stomach. Every inch he got the more excited. Would Regulus be okay with this? Carefully he tugged at his pants and then looked up at Regulus and said in a hesitant voice. "Can I?"

Regulus looked down at him and swallowed. "Yes," he whispered. It felt a little awkward with Remus' face down there, but he really wanted him to proceed.

Remus smiled up at him and carefully popped open the button on his trousers and zipped down. He smoothed a hand over a thigh before letting it slip into his briefs. 

Regulus stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He could almost see the disappointment in Remus' eyes. "Could... could you come up here?" he asked. 

"Of course," said Remus and pulled his hand back, moving up to Regulus’ head again.

"No," said Regulus and grabbed Remus wrist, leading it back down. "You can go on. I would just like your face up here."

"Oh," smiled Remus and lay down on his side, letting his hand travel down Regulus’ stomach again. He then leaned in and kissed him as he slipped his hand into his briefs once again and took a gentle hold around the growing erection.

Regulus let out a gasp, although it should really not have surprised him what Remus was about to do. Still - it felt weird. Nobody else had ever touched him there. He kissed Remus aggressively, trying to distract himself. It felt weird, yes, but oh, he wanted it. Since the other day where they had been very close to this point he had not been able to think of much else. As Remus kept stroking him, a warm pleasure spread in his body and Regulus felt his nerves dissipating. He moved an arm down to the hem of Remus' pants, hesitated for a second and then started fumbling with the button and zipper. He could tell from the way Remus’ breathing hitched that he very much approved of Regulus’ actions, so he stuck his hand in, hesitantly closing it around Remus' erection. He carefully started pumping it but he nearly forgot what he was doing when Remus sped up his strokes. "Oh," Regulus moaned and automatically jerked his hips forward into Remus' fist. "M-more!" he gasped, not at all caring how needy he sounded. He started stroking Remus faster for emphasis. 

"Yes," moaned Remus and sped up his strokes even more, wanting to send Regulus over the edge. They were kissing sloppily now and it was hard to concentrate. Every jerk that Regulus gave him, sent bolts of electricity through his sensitised body.

Regulus lost all sense of reality as he felt himself climax, moaning into Remus mouth and tightening his grip for a moment. When he came back to reality he realised that Remus had not come and he thought he should satisfy him as well. Now that his own arousal had been sated, he felt a little self-conscious again, but Remus tipped his head back and closed his eyes as Regulus started stroking him again, and then it wasn't so embarrassing. At least he knew what to do. If he had been with a girl he would have been clueless.

Remus bit his lower lip as he felt pleasure building in his abdomen. “Feels so good,” he moaned to ensure Regulus he was doing well.

Mesmerised, Regulus watched Remus’ face; the closed eyes and slightly parted lips. He leaned down and kissed them, quickening his pace as he did so. Remus eagerly kissed back and came just a few moments later.

Regulus withdraw his hand and wiped it on the sheets. Then he found his wand and vanished the mess with a swish. Remus smiled at him and pushed his hair back with a hand before rolling onto his back and drawing in a deep breath. Regulus sent him a quick smile but avoided eye-contact. What had they just done? It was a little embarrassing. He quickly zipped himself up and lay down next to Remus.

Remus closed his eyes for a moment and smiled. Then he rolled onto his side to face Regulus. He sensed that Regulus was not completely comfortable so he caressed his cheek and looked him in the eye. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, of course," said Regulus, striking up a smile. 

"Good," smiled Remus and leaned in for a kiss. Then he wrapped an arm around Regulus and pulled him close.

Regulus sighed and relaxed in Remus' arms. It was nice, lying there together, feeling the pleasant buzz of what they had just done. However, it was little weird lying under the covers fully clothed, and Regulus felt like taking some of it off. But could he do that without Remus thinking he was a... tart or something?  No, of course he wouldn’t think that. But it would seem like he was planning to go to sleep here and they couldn't really do that, could they? "Um... It's a little hot under here," he said and sat up, pulling off his sweater and shirt. Yes, that seemed a good excuse. 

"It is indeed," said Remus and copied Regulus, glad that Regulus had been the one to take the initiative. 

Regulus hesitated with his trousers. That was different than just taking off your sweater. Remus hadn't taken his off. Well, what could the problem be, he thought and unbuttoned them, looking away from Remus. To his relief he heard the sound of Remus taking off his trousers as well. Regulus smiled to himself and settled under the covers close to Remus. "So... are the others still having a party, you think?

"I would think so. Sirius bought quite a lot of beer for the action," Remus smiled and dug his fingers into his hair, cuddling under the covers with an arm around Regulus. "I wouldn’t be surprised if it lasted until morning."

"The beer or the party?" laughed Regulus.

"Both," grinned Remus. "We can stay here all night if you want. But would you rather go back to the party?"

"No, no," said Regulus quickly. "I enjoy it rather much here. But... We can't possibly stay the night, can we? You're a prefect and everything."

"I don't think it would be a problem if we just manage to get back early and I would really like to be here with you all night if you’re okay with that," said Remus and kissed the side of Regulus’ head. "It's difficult to act as if I don't have feelings for you when we’re not alone so I just enjoy every minute I can get."

"Yeah... I suppose," said Regulus and rested his head on the pillow. "But you better not deduct points from me if you catch me on my way back."

"Oh, and here I had plans of dragging you off to detention," grinned Remus.

"Oh," said Regulus, thinking how incredibly hot that sounded. "Let's hope I don't start misbehaving around you then. Could happen. Nobody's perfect, you know?"

"I suppose not," smiled Remus seductively. "Then I would have to order you into this room for an entire evening."

Regulus bit his lip. "And... what would you make me do? Lines?"

"Hm... I would probably make you lie down on the bed," said Remus and crawled in over him with a smile curling on his lips. "Tell you to lay back and relax while I let my hands explore your body..." Remus slowly ran a hand down Regulus’ naked chest as he spoke.

Regulus swallowed, feeling arousal rush through him. "That doesn't sound much like punishment."

"Well, I have always been a bit soft, haven’t I?" asked Remus and licked a spot on Regulus’ neck. "But if you start breaking too many rules I have no choice but to give you detentions..."

"I think I might start to become a bad boy, then,” said Regulus and ran his hands down Remus' back. 

"Really?" smiled Remus. "I would have to drag you in here several times a week, then."

"I wouldn't have time to do my homework, then. Or Quidditch practise."

"You're making a good point. Then you would have to be good so I could let you go early.” Remus lowered his body to lie on top of Regulus and gave a small roll with his hip, hoping to get a reaction out of Regulus. 

Regulus let out a surprised gasp, feeling Remus more acutely than ever, them being only in their briefs now. 

Remus had to collect himself for a moment before doing anything else. He moved a hand up and gently let a finger play around a nipple before kissing the skin of Regulus' neck, rolling his hips once more. 

R-Remus," said Regulus, running his hands up and down the older boy's back. "You... really make me feel good."

Remus settled between Regulus' legs, rolling his hips slowly. "You make me feel really good too." Regulus' hips jerked up to meet Remus’ and his hands splayed over his bottom. Remus' breathing hitched and he had to focus on moving. He kissed his way around Regulus' neck and then gentle nipped an ear with his teeth before letting his tongue run along the edge. This felt even better than what they had done before.

"Remus," Regulus gasped again, digging his fingers into his buttocks and pushing down, urging him to keep going. He turned his head, trying to get Remus to kiss him on the mouth. 

Remus caught on and dipped his head to catch Regulus mouth in a kiss as he picked up the speed. "Regulus," he moaned into his mouth.

Regulus kissed him frantically and raised his hips in time with Remus' movements. He needed more. Needed to feel more. But could he just ask Remus to strip? He decided to use his hands on his bottom to push his briefs a little down. If Remus wanted to do more, then he could pick up on the hint.

Remus got the hint and reached down to pull his briefs down, then Regulus’ as well, before settling again, rubbing himself against him.

Regulus squeezed his eyes shut and gasped loudly. Oh, Merlin, he was going to come right now before even having time to feel Remus properly. But there was nothing to do about it, so he dug his fingers into Remus' buttocks and thrust up a couple of times as he came with a shudder. 

Remus came soon after, feeling his entire body shake with pleasure as he collapsed on top of Regulus.

Regulus gasped for breath a moment and then pushed Remus off. He didn't like the mess, now that it was over, so he quickly cleaned up with his wand and pulled his briefs up. Then he wrapped an arm around Remus and pulled himself flush against him, smiling into his neck. "That was... wow."

"It sure was," smiled Remus. He would go so far as to say that this was the hottest thing he had ever experienced.

Regulus pulled the covers around them and snuggled closer to Remus, resting his head in the crook of his neck. He felt warm and satisfied and rather sleepy. "I think I'm going to risk spending the night... It's Saturday tomorrow.”

Remus smiled and kissed the top of Regulus’ head. "Yeah. If we sneak in early, no one will notice.”

**o0o0o**

"I still don't get it," said Peter as Sirius handed him another beer. "Why isn't your brother at his own party? And where's Moony?"

"Regulus didn’t want a party," sighed Sirius and took another beer for himself. "And Moony is doing some homework in the library. He didn't feel like drinking tonight. You know a full moon is coming up so he is just getting ahead."

"Honestly, what’s the matter with your brother, mate? Who doesn't want to celebrate his own birthday? And I thought he was finally starting to become a bit more social, but obviously not."

"I’m sure he’s having the time of his life," said Sirius and winked at James. 

"Alone? Well, like I said - he's bloody mental."

Sirius opened his beer. “I thought you didn't want to spend a whole evening with him anyway?" 

"I just think he's being very rude not showing up for his own birthday party," persisted Peter. Peter rarely spoke so openly about issues that could offend Sirius or James. He worshipped them and mostly just repeated what they said or silently applauded, but he had gotten a few beer in his system so things flew more freely now. And he did not like Regulus one bit. 

Sirius just rolled his eyes and sighed, downing half a beer in one go. "What do you care, anyway? You get booze."

"Well, it's not like I miss him. It used to be just the four of us. Now he's hanging on us all the time. Why can't he get his own friends?" said Peter

"Well, maybe my brother is finally starting to enjoy my brilliant company," said Sirius." You can just ignore him if you hate him so much."

"Hey, why don't we go down to the common room, see if we can snatch up some party goers? Three isn't really a crowd," said James, before Peter said any more offensive things about Regulus and things turned ugly.

"Yeah," said Sirius and got up. He was getting rather annoyed. It would be great to find some more people so he didn’t have to listen to more of Peter's moaning. He swung an arm around James’ shoulder as they headed down the staircase. "Maybe you should ask Lily to join us. You saw how she looked at you when you told me not to draw my wand. Like she was actually a little interested in you."

"I know!” said James and stopped to face his friend. “But... I was thinking, well Moony and I were thinking, that maybe I should play more on my mature side. Seemed that was what she liked.”

"I didn’t know you had a mature side, mate," grinned Sirius.

"Hey," said James suddenly, looking at his watch. "Did you notice it's way past curfew and Moony and Regulus aren't back yet?" 

"Yeah I noticed," said Sirius. "Guess they’re having a good time. Good for them. Also seems that Moony made up for buying Reggie that xxx-small jumper." He flashed his friend a grin. I wonder where they’re hiding, though..."

"Yeah, that's the weirdest thing! It must be somewhere we haven't discovered because they don't show on the Map. We really ought to know where it is so the Map can be completed."

They walked into the common room where a handful of students still sat doing homework or relaxing by the fire.

James looked around. There was no sign of Lily or any of the young students, so he jumped up on a coffee table. "Fellow Gryffindors! There's a party in the Marauders’ dorm in two minutes! Everyone is invited!"


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22 – “I Don’t Want You Talking to Them”**

Regulus woke in the middle of the night, at first confused as to where he was. Then he recognised the familiar smell of Remus. A warm sleepy smell just next to his nose. He inhaled and softly kissed the warm neck. It felt so nice waking up in somebody's arms like this. Somebody he had been yearning to be close to for years. Yes, he had been in love with Remus long before he even realised that was what it was. 

He kissed his neck again and gently ran a hand over his naked back. Remus stirred in his sleep but didn't wake. Regulus let his hand travel further down, over the swell of his bottom, finding himself getting aroused. He kissed his way up to Remus’ ear and mumbled, "Remus?" his hand still caressing his bottom. 

"Mm..." hummed Remus and moved a little in his sleep. He could feel someone touching him and hear Regulus’ voice, but couldn’t quite make out if he was dreaming or not. He rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes sleepily, trying to focus as he felt warm breath against his neck.

"I wanna... I wanna do it again.”

Remus’ eyes snapped open and turned his head to look at Regulus. "Yeah?" he smiled and reached out to touch him gently. The alcohol had left Remus’ body by now so he was back to being a bit insecure. "What… how do you want it?"

"Um... just... you know, just... touching and stuff. Naked."

"Okay," Remus said in an almost whisper, letting his hand run down Regulus’ smooth body until it reached his briefs and he carefully pushed them down as he started kissing his neck. He then pushed his own down and moved in so they lay flush against each other.

"This is nice," said Regulus, slipping his hand between them and hesitantly closing it around Remus half-hard shaft.

Remus let out a surprised gasp and reached down between them as well, taking a firm hold on Regulus' erection and started to rub it. Then he kissed his way up Regulus' jawline until he reached his mouth.

Regulus kissed back, slowly and deeply. Having already come twice that night, he wasn't so much in a hurry this time and he wanted to take his time to really experiencing it. He found he didn't have to think so much of what to do. It was like it came more naturally to him now, so he kind of took the lead this time, being the one doing most of the touching and kissing Remus all over his face, neck, and chest, all the while lazily playing with his cock. 

"Oh, God," gasped Remus and tried to keep focus. "You feel so good, Regulus."

"You too," murmured Regulus and swung a leg over Remus' leg, hooking it behind his knee and pushed their groins together. 

Remus let out a soft moan and moved a hand to Regulus' hair, his fingers running through the soft locks. He did a slight roll with his hips, making his cock rub against Regulus'.

"Re-Remus," gasped Regulus, forgetting all about going slow. He started thrusting into Remus hand, which had now taken a grip around both their lengths. "I... I need to... now!"

Remus didn’t need to be told twice. He was so close himself that it only took a few more quick strokes before he came. He kept going a moment longer until Regulus moaned, "Remus," pressing his face hard into Remus chest, coming in pulses on their stomachs. 

Regulus kissed Remus a few times once they had recovered. "I didn't know what it would be like. You know… s-sex. I didn't even know how it worked with blokes."

Remus ran a hand over Regulus’ hair and smiled. "I’m not very experienced either but I think we’re doing a pretty good job."

“I thought you had been doing a lot of stuff with..." Regulus couldn't bring himself to say the name. 

"We didn’t go very far, actually," said Remus, not liking to think about it. He didn’t want to upset Regulus talking about Noel. “And it was not nearly as good as this.”

"Oh. Good," said Regulus, feeling almost sick by the thought of them together.

"So I guess we will just have to explore each other and find out what we like," smiled Remus.

"You wouldn't touch anybody else or flirt with them while you're with me, would you?"

"What? No of course not," said Remus in surprise. "I wouldn’t dream of it!"

"What about Davies? Do you still feel something for him?"

"No, I don't. I only have eyes for you. Even when I was with him I couldn’t keep my eyes off you..."

"Why were you with him, then?" Regulus persisted. 

"I didn’t think I had a chance with you and James insisted that I should try and go out with Noel. I liked him, but I never loved him. And I don’t have any feelings for him anymore. "

"But he was the one who broke up with _you_. If he hadn't, then you would still be together."

Remus sighed. "I was already pulling away from him and that’s why we broke up. It was only a matter of time. Please believe me when I say I have no interest in him. Only you."

"Do you think he's handsomer than me?" asked Regulus, as if he had not heard all the things Remus had already said. 

"No. I think you're the most handsome bloke in the world. I really mean that." Remus was getting a little nervous about upsetting Regulus. He meant everything he said, but it seemed like Regulus didn’t take any of it in.

"That can't be true. Sirius looks like me, just handsomer. He has a more masculine face and a better built. And he's tall. So you must think _he's_ the handsomest bloke in the world."

"Well, it’s not Sirius I’m in love with," said Remus before realising what he was saying. He stared at the boy in front of him and gulped nervously.

Regulus' eyes widened. Remus wasn't in love with Sirius – so that meant... Was he really in love with Regulus? How long had he been? Well, there was no way Regulus could say it back. It was too soon. Was Remus expecting him to? He hadn't actually said it directly - he had just said he wasn't in love with Sirius - so Regulus supposed a response wasn't required. Or he could just pretend he hadn't understood it like that. "O-okay," he nodded. "Well, that's good."

Remus forced a smile. He was a little hurt that Regulus didn’t say he loved him too, but at least he hadn’t scared him away by blurting out his affection. He looked him deep in the eyes and cupped his cheek. "Don’t doubt that you’re the one I want to be with, because you’re all I want. The only one I ever wanted." 

Regulus nodded again, casting his eyes down. It was a little overwhelming. He wanted Remus to love him, yes, to want him like crazy, but at the same time all that affection and openness about it made him uncomfortable. He wasn't used to it. His parents had never shown any real affection. In truth, Sirius was the only one who ever had, and that was different. He didn't hug and say "I love you". At least not since Regulus was little. 

**o0o0o**

They had planned on getting up early and sneaking into the Tower, but they overslept. Regulus was worried that people would notice them coming back but Remus calmed him and said people would be busy with their own thing – most probably being down for breakfast still.

On his way back Remus ran into Lily.

"Hi, Remus," she smiled. You missed breakfast. I thought you were still sleeping."

"Oh, um… well, I wanted to finish some homework so I went to the library. Time just sped away from me I guess, but I'm still tired so I was heading for the dormitories."

"Hinkypunk," Lily told the Fat Lady and they stepped into the common room. "Hey, have a chat with me, yeah?"

"Sure,” said Remus and sat down in a chair in a corner of the room.

Lily sat down across from him. "So how goes with your boyfriend?" she asked with a playful glint in her eye. 

"My boyfriend?" Remus asked and felt heat rush to his cheeks. "Noel and I broke up months ago, you know that."

"Your _new_ boyfriend. A certain little pure-blood. Am I right?"

Remus gulped and looked down at his hands in his lap. "H-how did you know?"

"I didn't until you just confirmed it now. Don't worry," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "It isn't because you two have been careless or anything. I could just guess it. I knew you fancied him and was very upset after he had kissed you, and then all of a sudden you were happy again. And he became more sociable than ever. So..."

Remus bit his lip nervously. "Y-you can’t tell anyone. I promised Regulus that only Sirius and James could know."

"Of course I won't tell," said Lily. "I'm just glad to see you happy again. He looks better too. Actually smiling once in a while. So is it going well? I mean, are you really hitting it off?"

"Yeah," smiled Remus and felt warmth spread in his chest just thinking about Regulus. "We spend as much time together as we can whenever we get a chance to be alone. Sirius and James are nice to lend us the dormitory once in a while, but we can’t do that too often because of Peter." 

"Yes, I can imagine that's difficult. And there’s no way Regulus can come out? I know his parents won't like it, but he has to come out sooner or later..."

Remus hated to think about what reaction Regulus’ parents would have. To be honest he was afraid what they might do to him. "We’ll keep it secret as long as possible. Hopefully until he’s of age, at least," said Remus optimistically.

"You will just have to be really careful, then. No snogging in public."

"We don’t," said Remus. "We are really careful. Only behind closed doors."

"You certainly do like your Seekers, Mr. Lupin," laughed Lily.

Remus blushed and nodded, sending her a shy smile. "I guess..." 

The portrait hole opened and Sirius walked in. He stopped when he spotted the two and waved a paper bag at Remus. "Brought you some food since you slept in."

“Thanks, Padfoot,” said Remus and took the bag.

"Been drinking your brains out again, Black?" asked Lily. “Some prefect really ought to dock points from you," she said and winked at Remus.

Remus laughed.

"Moony wouldn’t do that," said Sirius and ran his fingers through his messy hair. He then flashed her a smile. "Besides, it wasn’t that bad. I just didn’t sleep much." He then winked at Remus. "I’ll go see if my dear brother is up. Apparently he slept in too so I snatched some food for him as well." He then turned to Lily. "Or is that against the rules too?"

**o0o0o**

Regulus had just stepped into the shower when Sirius entered the dorm. Sirius, not known for his good manners, marched directly into the bathroom. "Hey, Reggie!"

Regulus got such a shock that he nearly fell. "SIRIUS!" he yelled, quickly grabbing a towel to cover himself up. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Thought I would bring my lovesick little brother some breakfast since he didn’t come down to get some himself," grinned Sirius and tilted his head. "Don’t worry. I’ve seen you naked before. "

"I'm not lovesick!" cried Regulus angrily. "And I don't care what you've seen or haven't seen before - you don't just barge in without announcing your arrival first!"

Sirius leaned against the doorframe and knocked on it. "Knock, knock, I’m coming in." He burst into laughter. "And here," he said, placing a paper bag on the sink. "Lovesick or not, you gotta eat."

Regulus scowled at his brother and considered to tell him to take his food and leave, but his stomach was rumbling, so he decided he might as well keep it. "You only brought it as an excuse to come in here and snoop."

"Now why would I do that? If I wanna know something I’ll just ask Remus and watch him blush. No, I actually just brought you two lads some breakfast before going to my dorm for a nap. I'm knackered. Was a great birthday party we threw you. Too bad you weren’t there, but I’m guessing you had a bloody good time anyway!"

"Sod off! I hope you have a bad hangover!" said Regulus. Why couldn't his brother keep his nose to himself? Regulus never stuck his nose into Sirius' private life. But who was he kidding? Sirius had never had any tact.  

**o0o0o**

Sirius, James and Peter sat by the fire when Regulus came down a little later.

"Since we celebrated your birthday, Reggie, it's only fair that you help us clean up the dormitory," grinned Sirius. 

Regulus snorted. "Clean up your own mess. I'm not the one who poured alcohol down your throats. Besides, I'm sure you had plenty of fun without me."

"Where _were_ you, anyway?" asked Peter. 

"None of your business, rodent face," snapped Regulus. 

Remus came down a good five minutes later and Sirius threw himself at him, taking a good sniff, like a dog. "Mm… you went to take a shower."

"Yes," said Remus. "And you could really use one as well. You smell of alcohol still.”

Regulus pursed his lips and stared into the fire. He hated it when Sirius hung on Remus like that. James too. He understood that they were close friends and all, but why did they have to _touch_ like that all the time? Regulus did not go around touching or smelling people. With the exception of Remus, of course. 

**o0o0o**

"Hey, Black!" called a voice as Regulus was heading towards the library to get some homework done. It was a few of the students from Slytherin and when they caught up with him, Nott gave him a none too soft punch to the chest. "Not much we see you around? Turning Gryffindor for real? I thought that you wanted to be a Slytherin like the rest of your family, apart from your no good brother." 

"Keep your hands to yourself," snapped Regulus and rubbed his chest. "And yes, I would like to be a Slytherin, but as you all know, I can’t do anything about that."

"Just starting to wonder where your loyalty lie," said Nott. "First you save a Mudblood and now you’re hanging around with your brother and those other wankers. I’m starting to wonder if you’re in fact happy just where you are.”

"Put a sock in it, Nott," snapped Regulus. "You can say much about my brother and his friends, but none of them are Mudbloods. In fact, half are pure-bloods."

"They’re both blood-traitors and Potter even fancies a Mudblood, so I can't see how it can get much worse. Soon enough they will have you thinking Mudbloods are as good as the rest of us."

"Do you think I'm that easy to manipulate?" asked Regulus. 

"Well, so far we haven't seen much proof to the contrary," said Avery. 

"Snape says you can't be trusted," said Wilkes. 

"Snape," laughed Regulus (although inside he did not). "He just has a grudge because my brother has been teasing him and he can't take it. I never took part in that. Not that I care what he thinks. He's a nobody. Not even a wizard name. His father must be Muggle."

"That may be so," said Avery, "but at least he has taken a clear stand. He’s a fan of the Dark Arts and very gifted. He will no doubt be useful."

"Not what can be said about you," said Nott and narrowed his eyes. "You haven’t shown any real loyalty to Slytherin. You talk the talk but you don’t walk the walk. I agree with Severus. You can’t be trusted."

"Fuck you, Nott," said Regulus. "You've hated me ever since I beat you in that duel on the train, and the feeling is quite mutual, by the way. You have a problem with me because you're a sore loser - not because you doubt my loyalty."

Nott’s hand went for his pocket but Avery stepped in between them. "Fine. If you're loyal to Slytherin then you will gladly join our cause," Avery said with a curled lip. "Right, Black?"

"I never said I didn't support the cause, but that is not the same as volunteering for Death Eater. Do you mind if I haven't decided on my future occupation yet? I'm barely sixteen."

"So what?" said Nott. "Barty has made up his mind a long time ago, and he’s as young as you. I think you're just stalling." He stepped closer to Regulus. "Am I right, Black? Are you just stalling?"

"I'm a Black and we do not take orders, especially from students! We make our own decisions in due time. So back off and give me some time!" said Regulus. He shot a quick slightly blaming look at Barty, who just stood there, not defending him. 

Barty apparently noticed the look and spoke up, "Just… give him some space. He'll come around. Won't you, Reg?"

"I'll think about it."

"Don’t take too long. Your time is running out, Black," said Avery in a threatening tone before turning to leave.

Barty lingered for a moment, eying Regulus. "It would be a lot easier if you just joined in. You know it’s the right thing to do. I stuck my neck out for you so why do you have to be so difficult?"

"I have my pride, Barty, surely you can understand that? I will not let myself be threatened into doing anything. I will make my own decisions. I will not let fools like Nott boss me around."

"Barty!" yelled Nott from down the hall and Barty sighed. "I'll see you later."

**o0o0o**

"Hey, Padfoot," said Peter as he found James and Sirius in the common room later that day. "You know I saw your brother talking to that Slytherin lot again. You know, Avery, Nott and those blokes."

Sirius looked up and narrowed his eyes. "Did he, now? I thought he knew better by now!" He got up from his seat and went to find Regulus. 

He found him in the library and slammed his hands down on the table in front of him, making the boy jump in his seat. "Peter told me you talked to the Slytherins again?" he said and narrowed his eyes. "They are bad news, Reggie. I told you this before."

"And I told _you_ plenty of times that it isn't your business to whom I talk," Regulus retorted, still a little shaken from the surprise. 

"I don't want you talking to them!" said Sirius loudly, ignored the eyes on him from the students around the room. "They are bad news! I can tolerate you talking to that Crouch bloke but the rest of them you better stay clear off!"

"I don't want you making a scene in the library," said Regulus, quickly scooping up his book and stalking off as fast as he could without outright running. 

Sirius followed him into the hallway. "What’s so special about that lot? They are Muggle haters and think they’re better than the rest of us, so why are you so eager to socialise with them? I though you hated Nott!"

"I _do_ hate him! I hate Pettigrew as well, but that doesn't stop me from talking to him, does it?"

"It’s not the same," spat Sirius. "I will only say this once more, Reggie: stay the bloody hell away from that lot. They will get you into trouble!"

"Brilliant! I shall look forward to you not repeating it!" yelled Regulus, and turned on his heel, in the vain hope that Sirius would let him go.

"Don’t you walk away from me when I’m talking to you!"

**o0o0o**

Sirius was still on Regulus’ tail, lecturing him, as they entered the common room. Remus noticed a smug look on Peter’s face when he spotted the two.

"You better grow a brain soon," hissed Sirius, pointing a finger in his brother’s face.

Remus got up from his seat, hoping to prevent another fight. "Sirius, please don't start again," he begged.

"I don't need protection," Regulus snapped at Remus, but the brief moment of not paying attention resulted in Sirius rushing up and grapping him by the upper arm.

"Let GO!" Regulus cried, desperately trying to wrench his arm free of his brother's iron grip. 

"You better start listing to me!" snapped Sirius and shook Regulus.

"Sirius! If you don't stop I will have to report you to McGonagall!” said Remus, hoping this would make Sirius calm down. “I mean it!”

" _What?"_ said Sirius in disbelief, staring at Remus.

Regulus used the distraction to jerk free and stormed up the stairs, slamming the door to his dorm and locking it with a safety charm that couldn't be undone by a simple " _Alohomora._ " 

Sirius stormed after him and banged on the door, but eventually he gave up and went back downstairs to sit down, purposefully not looking at Remus.

Remus tried to talk to him but only got a few grunting sounds so he gave up and went to sit down alone in a corner. He hated to have used his prefect status against his friend but he knew if he had not intervened, the situation would have escalated.

James came in a few minutes later and sat down opposite Sirius. "Hey, Padfoot. I heard you and Regulus were fighting again. It's already out."

"He’s being a twat as usual," growled Sirius and sank further into his chair. "Told him to stay the hell away from that Slytherin lot but he won't listen to me. And he had his knight in shining armour jump in a save him," he mumbled, sending a glare in Remus’ direction. He couldn't believe that he had threatened to turn him in to McGonagall.

 “So Remus got to save the princess,” James chuckled.

"You know, our cousins actually used to dress him up like a princess," Sirius said.

"What?" said James and then burst out laughing. The same did Peter and the nearby students. 

Sirius laughed half-heartedly but was already regretting what he had said.

**o0o0o**

Regulus did not come down for dinner that night. He was not in the mood to defend himself for talking to the Slytherins. Of course he could just tell Sirius the truth: that he didn’t know how to get out of the mess he had landed himself in, but it wasn't Sirius’ business what Regulus did, and acting the way he did, almost made Regulus  _want_  to talk to the Slytherins. 

There was a knock on the door later that night.  "It’s Remus. I brought you some dinner."

Regulus hesitated for a second but then opened the door. He didn't invite Remus in, because he didn't want someone catching them alone in a room together, but he gladly took the food. "So is he still acting like a nutter?" he asked. 

"A bit," said Remus and scratched his neck. "He's mad at me too for threatening him with McGonagall."

Regulus snorted. "He's a spoiled brat, is what he is. You lot put up with way too much from him." 

"I know," sighed Remus. "I’m sorry you had a fight. It’s been going so well lately... But it will probably be better tomorrow."

"Well, that's up to him," said Regulus. "Look, you better go back down before my dorm mates come up. See you tomorrow, alright?"

"Yeah... see you," smiled Remus.

Two of Regulus' dorm mates came back not long after. 

"Hey, Black," grinned Brown. "I didn't know you used to dress up and play princess with your cousins. Still do that when you’re home on holiday?"

Regulus was dumbstruck for a second. " _What?_ How the bloody hell do you know that? And for your information it was NOT voluntarily! They forced me and they were seven years older so I didn't have a chance!"

"Well, it's all over the common room now," laughed Brown.

Beyond livid, Regulus stormed down the stairs looking for Sirius so he could rip out his throat. He stopped in the common room, looking wildly around but couldn't see his brother. 

"Hello, Princess Black," laughed one of the students. "Where's your pink dress and make-up? Did you have a tiara too?"

"I bet he was a very pretty little princess," laughed another. 

Remus looked up and felt horrible for Regulus. "Come on lads. Leave him be. I bet you also did strange things when you were kids."

“I didn’t dress up like a girl," grinned one.

Just then, Sirius walked in with James and Peter, laughing at something that James had just said, but when spotting Regulus, he immediately knew that the others must have told him what he had done.

"You bloody bastard!" screamed Regulus and charged at Sirius so hard that the impact knocked him over. He sat on him, pummelling his fists into his chest as hard and fast as he could. 

Sirius tried to get a hold of Regulus’ wrists and yelled for backup, but this time Remus didn’t interfere. He felt like Sirius had it coming.

"Get off!" Sirius spat and grabbed Regulus by the hair, trying to pull him off. When Regulus just ignored him and kept on hitting him, Sirius yanked harder.

Regulus howled in pain as Sirius nearly pulled his hair out and he let himself be dragged off. But his legs were free so he started kicking at his brother, hitting his mark a couple of times.

"Lads!" said Remus finally and stood up from his chair. "Stop it!" He looked pleadingly at James and then hurried over to get Regulus to his feet. James and Peter got ready to stop Sirius, should he decide to attack his brother.

Sirius coughed in pain and rolled onto his side, trying to gather himself so he could get to his feet. "What the fuck is your problem?" barked Sirius and winched in pain as he got up.

"YOU KNOW WHY!" shouted Regulus, struggling furiously to get free of Remus. "YOU BLOODY SNITCH!"

"You had it coming!" shouted Sirius back although he actually felt bad for having said it. "It just slipped out, okay? Not my fault that you used to dress up like a little princess!"

"YOU KNOW BLOODY WELL, _THEY_ DID IT TO ME! I couldn't do anything, and YOU just watched and let it happen! Some big brother you were!" 

Sirius' mouth formed a thin line. He couldn’t really argue with that. "Yeah well -" he started, "I had other things to do than watch over you all the damn time! You had that stupid house elf for that!"

But that was another button Sirius should not push. 

"Don't call Kreacher stupid!" yelled Regulus. 

"Stupid Kreacher!" spat Sirius and narrowed his eyes. "Stupid – nasty – Kreacher!"

With a sudden violent jerk Regulus tore himself free of Remus' grip and flew at his brother once more. James had to let go of Sirius to give him a chance to defend himself. 

The other students had gathered around and some were cheering, egging them on as they were rolling on the floor. "He fights pretty well for a girl," one laughed. 

Sirius landed a few solid punches on Regulus but the smaller boy, fuelled by rage, got most of the good blows in. Sirius didn’t want to hurt his brother but he wasn’t going to just let him hit him. Then he managed to roll him over so Sirius was on top and held Regulus’ hands pinned to the floor. "Relax, God dammit!" he roared. "As you see I’m the strongest, so no way in hell can you win!"

Regulus was not about to give in so easily so he struggled like crazy and when he found he couldn't get free, he spat in his brother's face. It was just too humiliating lying there pinned to the ground. 

Surprised, Sirius sat up and wiped his face with his sleeve. “You little shit!” he growled and started hitting Regulus, this time not holding back.

Suddenly the brothers were magically torn apart and an invisible barrier was conjured between them. "STEADY THIS MADNESS!" roared a voice. McGonagall stood in the doorway glaring at the two brothers. "Sirius and Regulus Black. I should have known," she said in a strict voice, walking over to the two. "What is the meaning of this?"

Regulus said nothing. He was not going to say something childish like "He started it," or "he provoked me." Leave the childishness to Sirius. He just sat up and wiped blood from his lip. He noticed Sirius was also bleeding and bruised, and he had a torn shirt. Regulus hoped Sirius looked worse than him. At least that would be a small victory. 

"You have both earned a week’s detention!" said McGonagall and tapped her foot. "You two should know better by now – you are way too old to be fighting like little boys."

"Can we please have our detentions in separate rooms, Professor?" asked Regulus, scowling at his brother. He was still furious and was not going to let this one go in a long time. He felt betrayed. 

"That’s out of the question," said the professor in a strict voice. "Now go get cleaned up and I don't want to see any more fighting from you two for the rest of the school year!"

"I have Quidditch practise next week. I have to train for the final game, Saturday," said Regulus in the hope that McGonagall would cut him some slack.

She raised her eyebrows and sighed. "Alright, Regulus. You can go to practice, but you will take the detentions you miss next week. Do I make myself clear?"

Sirius mumbled something about teacher’s pet but didn't look at Regulus or McGonagall. 

McGonagall did not leave until Regulus had gone up to his dorm and she was sure the fighting was over. "And Black -" she said to Sirius before she left. "If there is any more trouble with you two, it's detention for the rest of the year. Do you think you can control yourself? You're seventeen, not a child."

Sirius sat down by the fireplace with the other Marauders, drying blood off his nose.

"It was a stupid move to bring up something like that," said Remus as he started casting healing charms Sirius’ face. 

"Perhaps…" mumbled Sirius. “Doesn’t justify him going off like a bloody firecracker, though…”

Lily came over a few minutes later when the other students had gone back to their own business. "You can be such a bastard, you know that, Black?" she hissed at Sirius. "That was low, even for you. You know how your brother feels about being compared to a girl and how much teasing he has had to put up with during the years. And then you give them this to use against him? It would have served you well if he had hurt you worse."

"You think I don’t know that?" snapped Sirius and looked down at his hands. "It just slipped out because I was so bloody mad at him. I thought he deserved it when I said it." Then he looked up at her. "What do you want me to do?"

"You could apologise, for starters," said Remus. "He probably won’t forgive you right away but at least he’ll know that you’re sorry."

"It won’t matter," sighed Sirius and touched a spot on his cheek that was swollen from being hit several times. "He never listens to me."

"Gee, I wonder why," said Lily, rolling her eyes. 

Sirius sighed and got up. "Fine. I’ll try to talk to him." He went up to the room and knocked on the door. "Reg... can I come in?"

There was no response. 

Sirius sighed and rested his forehead against the door. "Look, I know you probably don’t want to talk to me and I know it was a rotten move, but I was just so mad at you and it slipped out." He took a breath and waited for a response but when nothing came, he continued. "Anyway... I just wanted you to know I’m sorry about it and I’ll tell people to go stuff it if they say anything about it while I hear it."

Regulus did not reply. Sirius' apology did very little to soften his anger. Yes, he might have regretted it but that didn't change the fact that he had betrayed him.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23 – “Is That a Love Bite on Your Neck?”**

Regulus did not talk to Sirius at all the next day. Sirius couldn't even provoke a reply out of him. It continued in detention where Regulus refused to even look at his brother. 

"How are you?" asked Remus as he and Regulus had an hour alone in the Room of Requirements. "I know Sirius is feeling really bad. Not that I want you to forgive him. I know he hurt a lot so I understand your anger..."

"I don't want to talk about him," said Regulus curtly. "I don't even want to think about him. Everything always has to revolve around him." Regulus wanted nothing more than to forget about his brother right now, but of course that was impossible. He was in a very bad mood and not at all sure he could enjoy his meeting with Remus.

Remus carefully reached out and touched Regulus' hand. "I’m sorry I brought it up. Let’s just relax a bit."

Regulus hummed and flopped onto his back on the bed. He was tired and sore from the fight yesterday. He hoped Sirius hurt a lot worse than he did.

Remus lay down beside him and gently pushed his fringe away from his face. "Ready for the match on Saturday?" he smiled and caressed Regulus’ cheek.

"Mm," hummed Regulus, looking up at the ceiling. Not even the thought of Quidditch could get his mood up. He liked Remus' hand on him, though.

"I’m sure you’ll do great," Remus smiled and kept caressing Regulus’ face and hair, hoping it would make him feel better.

Regulus sighed and rested his head against Remus' chest. "I wish we didn't have to go back," he said. Apart from not wanting to see his idiot of a brother, Regulus did not like to be around the other Gryffindors either. Many of them had dropped "funny" comments about the princess thing all day. 

Remus hummed and ran his fingers through Regulus' hair. "Me too," he admitted. "Just lie here with you all night with my arms around you."

They were quiet for a minute, then Regulus spoke. "I hate that I have such a feminine build." He had never said this out aloud before and he was a little shocked with himself for suddenly confiding in Remus.

"You have the perfect build for a Seeker," said Remus, hoping to cheer him up. 

"I guess... But that's the only good thing about it. I still wish I was handsomer. You know, like Sirius and... others."

"Well, I prefer you just the way you are," smiled Remus and gave him a quick kiss. “If I fancied big and burly I would chat up Hagrid.”

"How can you find me attractive, then, if you don't think I'm handsome?" asked Regulus, not willing to let it go.

"I _do_ think you’re handsome. You’re very handsome and I like the way you’re built," said Remus, feeling frustrated that Regulus didn’t believe him.

"I'm _pretty._ Nothandsome. Blokes are supposed to be handsome. Girls are pretty. It's always been " _Pretty little Reggie_..."

Remus turned Regulus’ face to look him in the eyes. “Regulus, you’re _beautiful._ Most of the blokes who tease you are just jealous because you’re better looking than them.”

Regulus swallowed and looked into Remus’ eyes. He didn’t really believe that the other boys were jealous, but the sincere look in Remus’ eyes made it clear that he meant it when he said he thought he was beautiful. "I think you're handsome too,” Regulus said. “Especially your eyes. I've always liked your eyes."

Remus looked at him in surprise. "You… you think that?"

"Yeah. They're very special. So warm and kind. Like you." Why was he saying all this touchy-feely stuff all of a sudden? He never spoke about deep things like this. Maybe he was just overly sensitive today.

Remus' smiled widely and he leaned in for another kiss.

**o0o0o**

At nine O'clock they went back to Gryffindor Tower, one at a time. Remus found his friends playing exploding snap in the dormitory.

"Hey, Moony, come join us!" said James. 

"Where've you been all night?" asked Peter. "Wait - is that a love bite on your neck?"

"W-what?" asked Remus nervously and flipped up his collar. "No," he said and tried to act normal. He didn't even remember Regulus kissing his neck.

But Peter was on his feet in an instant, pushing Remus' hand away. "Yes, that’s a love bite! Isn't that a love bite?" he asked, turning to James and Sirius. 

Sirius narrowed his eyes to get a better look and then bit his lip. "I'm not sure…" He looked at Remus. How could they be so careless?

"Bullocks! This is a love bite! And look - he’s blushing! Who have you been snogging, Moony?" asked Peter eagerly. 

"N-no one," said Remus and pulled away from Peter. "I just… I can't tell you," he said and gulped, looking at James and Sirius pleadingly. 

" _Who_ , Moony? Come on, we share everything! Who is it? We'll keep it secret if you don't want it out, won't we, lads?" Peter said, turning to the two others. 

"Maybe he just doesn’t want to tell us," said Sirius, a little irritated. "He might just want to have some privacy for once and not like when we were sticking our noses into his business with Noel."

Peter couldn't believe his own ears. Sirius was just as curious as he was and normally he wouldn't have let something like this go, but neither he nor James seemed that interested in the love bite. 

**o0o0o**

Peter could not stop thinking about it, however, so the next few days he kept an eye on Remus, and Wednesday night when Remus left to go to the library, Peter transformed into a rat and followed him unnoticed. And as suspected, Remus did not go to the library. No. He went up to the seventh floor. He disappeared into a room Peter had never noticed before, and closed the door behind him so Peter couldn't sneak in. Instead he waited, hidden in a corner not far from the room to see what would happen. 

Ten minutes later, to no surprise for Peter, someone came walking down the corridor. Peter held his breath, excited to see who Remus' date was. His jaw almost hit the floor when he saw who it was. Ten minutes later he barged into the dorm to find the two others. 

"You'll never believe who Moony's secret lover is!"

"Probably not," said Sirius, not looking up from his Astronomy charts. He didn't give it much thought, since Peter had been pestering them about it for a few days now. 

"It's your brother, Padfoot! Can you believe it? I saw them!"

Sirius finally looked up. "How did you find out? Did you spy on Moony? He isn't going to be happy when he finds out that you followed him around, spying on him."

"No, I just happened to - wait a minute," said Peter, noticing that neither Sirius nor James were showing the reaction he had been counting on. And he had been so excited about bringing them the news. "Why aren't you surprised? Did you already know?"

"Well," said Sirius, looking a bit uncomfortable. "Yeah, we already knew but we weren't supposed to tell anyone and neither can you!" he said in a strict voice. "My brother isn't out, so we have to keep it secret." Sirius had already messed up pretty good with Regulus recently and he wasn't going to mess this one up too. 

"You knew? You both knew? Everybody knew but me!" said Peter, feeling very angry all of a sudden. "Why did you keep me in the dark? Am I not in the group anymore? Is that it? The little brat has wormed his way in and pushed me out, is that it?"

 “Of course you’re still part of the group,” said James.

"Reggie and Remus told me and made me swear not to tell anybody," said Sirius. "Prongs found out by accident. He wasn’t supposed to know, either.” He could understand Peter’s frustration but it was just no good telling him the truth. That Regulus didn't trust him.

"So Remus chose to tell you?" demanded Peter. "But not me and Prongs?"

"It’s my brother, Pete," said Sirius. "I dunno... maybe he wanted my approval or something."

Peter calmed down a little. So it was Regulus, not Remus, who had chosen to not include them all. And when he thought about it, it did seem fair that Sirius as Regulus' brother be told even though the others weren't.

"So," he said, sitting down. "It was just you, then? And Prongs found out by accident?"

"Yes," said James. "And Padfoot made me swear not to tell you or anyone else, because none of us were supposed to know. And you can't either, Pete, you have to swear. For Moony's sake."

Peter did not care one bit if Regulus' little secret came out - in fact it would serve the little brat well - but it would make Remus very upset, so he had to keep his mouth shut. "Alright. Of course I will keep the secret. I can be trusted, you know. I could have been told from the start,” said Peter a little moodily, but not so mad any more. 

Sirius found Remus and Regulus later when they had both come back to the common room. Even though Regulus was still mad at him, he agreed to go with him and Remus to their dorm where they could be alone. 

"Peter knows," Sirius said. "I don't know how, but he found out about the two of you."

"He... he did?" asked Remus, looking nervous. Had they not been careful enough?

" _What_?" said Regulus, going white in the face. "How did he find out? Was it you? Did you let it slip? Just like you let that other thing slip the other day!" he said in an accusatory voice. "You didn't think I’d had what I deserved yet?"

"Blimey!" said Sirius, a little offended. "No, Mr. Paranoid, I didn't tell him. I was in my dorm all night and he came back with the news of having found out about you. I told him to keep his mouth shut about it." Sirius crossed his arms and looked at his brother.

"He came and told you that, did he? How did he find out? Did he spy on us? That little rat!"

"Probably," said Sirius. "You left a mark on Remus the other day and he had been asking questions ever since. Not willing to let it go."

Remus rubbed his neck and looked from Sirius to Regulus. "But... but he promised to keep quite?"

"Yeah. And he knows he will have to deal with me and James if he tells anyone and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want that," said Sirius.

Regulus hummed. He was not happy with Peter knowing, even though he agreed that he would probably not risk getting in trouble with Sirius and James. He worshipped them. But Regulus could not shake the feeling that he couldn't be trusted. He cast a glance at Remus. Had he really left a mark on him? How embarrassing. How could he have been so stupid and careless?

"I made sure you're both safe still," said Sirius. 

"Thank you," said Remus and smiled. In a way it was nice enough that Peter knew now, because then they could act more like boyfriends when he was around also.

"Of course. I got your backs.”

Regulus did not catch Sirius' gaze and he did not thank him. This was nowhere near enough to make up for what he had done the other day, and Regulus was not going to forgive him anytime soon.

Sirius didn't say anything else; he just sighed as he walked past them and went outside, closing the door behind him. 

"I don't know how he could find out," said Remus. "I thought that we have been so careful.”

"He spied on us, that's for certain. He's a little rat, is what he is."

Remus couldn't argue with that. He couldn't believe that Peter had actually been tailing him to see who he was meeting. It would take some time for him to trust him again. He just hoped that Peter hadn't found the Room of Requirement. 

**o0o0o**

The morning of the final Quidditch match arrived and the school was buzzing with excitement. Like always before a match the Slytherins were taunting the Gryffindor players already at breakfast. Regulus got the most of it. The little story about the dressing up had leaked and of course this was golden information for the Slytherins. Sirius lashed out every time one of them said something about Regulus within his earshot, but of course that didn’t discourage them. He hated that they knew also. It had only been meant for James and Peter to hear and now the whole school knew. 

James gave a passionate speech before they were called through the gates into the stadium. Regulus had a knot in his stomach. He really, really needed to win this one. To shut up the Slytherins and regain some respect from his housemates. 

They walked onto the pitch to roaring applause from three sides of the stands (as usual, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw rooted for Gryffindor when Slytherin was the opponent) and booing from the Slytherin stand. 

"Just get the Snitch as fast as you can, Regulus," said James and got on his broom and flew off to his position.

"Right," said Madam Hooch as she released the Snitch and the Bludgers. "I want a clean game from all of you," she said and then blew the whistle, throwing the Quaffle into the air for the players to catch. 

A clean game? As if that was going to happen! The two enemy teams never played clean, especially not when it was the winner got the Quidditch Cup.

"Where's your pink dress?" yelled Flint, a burly Slytherin Beater, as he passed Regulus. 

"I thought Quidditch robes were more fit for the occasion," replied Regulus. "Since that _is_ the game we're playing. Or did you not notice that, you big fat troll?"

Flint growled a few words about Regulus having to watch his back. 

Regulus stayed out of the Slytherins' way as much as possible as he zoomed around looking for the Snitch. He concentrated hard, although whenever he passed the Gryffindor stand he couldn't help throwing a quick glance Remus' way. 

Sirius gasped as a Bludger zoomed right past Regulus’ ear. "They are doing that shite on purpose!' he roared.

"Well, that’s what Beaters are supposed to do...” said Remus, although he felt sick every time a Bludger was shot in the direction of Regulus.

A loud roar of angry voices filled the stadium when one of Slytherin's Beaters smashed his bat into the back of Shafiq's head. She fell off her broom, half-unconscious. Luckily she wasn't far from the ground so the fall wasn't long, but it was still serious and the game was called to a halt while Madam Pomfrey tended to her. 

"That was a cheap shot!" barked Sirius as they watched Madam Pomfrey helped Shafiq off the field.

"It’s a rough sport," said Peter and looked around. "And we’re playing Slytherin."

Ten minutes later Regulus caught sight of the Snitch for the first time. He took off in pursuit it at top speed, lying low on his broom for less wind resistance. 

The Slytherin Seeker had seen Regulus chasing the Snitch and he managed to cut him off. "Out of the way, Snow White!" he snarled and tried to knock Regulus off his broom.

Regulus swerved to avoid him and then had to speed up to catch up with the Snitch again.

The Gryffindor spectators yelled encouraging words to Regulus as he once again closed in on the Snitch. The Slytherin Seeker was closest, but when he reached out for it, it abruptly changed direction. Regulus was quick and cut it off. He was _so close_ , and then something hit him in the face. The Snitch had flown right past a Slytherin Chaser and he, seeing that Regulus was only a few yards behind, elbowed him in the face. Blood ran into Regulus’ eye from a split brow, but although it only took him a few seconds to wipe it away, it was enough time for the Snitch to get away and out of sight. 

The furious spectators roared for another penalty shot but it looked like Madam Hooch had not seen the incident. Just then Slytherin scored and put them in the lead, making the Slytherin stand erupt in triumph. The three other houses booed even louder.

Furious, Regulus looked around for the Snitch but it was nowhere to be seen. At least the other Seeker had lost sight of it as well. Regulus decided to make a quick land to get Madam Pomfrey to patch up his brow, since blood kept trickling into his eye, obscuring his sight. "Quickly!" he gasped. "Just stop the bleeding." 

Madam Pomfrey looked at him and sighed, flicking her wand to stop the bleeding. "You need it tended after the match or it will leave a scar." Regulus was off the ground again before Madam Pomfrey could finish the sentence.

A little later the Chaser who had elbowed Regulus flew close to James, trying snatch the Quaffle. James, who usually wasn't one for dirty tricks, made an exception and thrust his elbow into the Slytherin's face. He was sure Regulus would have caught the Snitch had he not intervened, so some kind of payback was in order. "Oops," he said. "Didn't see you there, mate!"

The Chaser held his hand to his face and almost fell off his broom, cursing loudly. A Gryffindor Chaser got a hold of the Quaffle and passed it to James, who sped up and slung it through a goal hoop.

"GO, JAMES!" screamed Peter, jumping up and down. 

Thirty minutes later the score was 12-14 to Gryffindor. The game had been exceptionally rough and there were only a few uninjured players. 

Regulus had been careful to stay out of trouble. He knew the others would be more than happy to hurt him to prevent him from getting the Snitch. That was one of the reasons the position of Seeker was the most dangerous one. Then he spotted something glinting, reflecting the sun at the left end of the pitch. But it was close to the Slytherin Seeker, and if Regulus revealed its position the other Seeker could grab it, so he had to be smart about this, drawing slowly nearer, as if he were just cruising, but not taking his eyes off the Snitch. He hoped to Merlin that none of the other players or the spectators guessed what was going on and blew it for him. When Regulus was about thirty yards from the Snitch he leaned forward and darted forwards at full speed.

The other Seeker was still closer, but it took him a few seconds to realise what Regulus was doing. He looked around and spotted the Snitch a short distance from him and he chased after it along with Regulus. They chased it side by side, the Snitch diving low, zooming across the pitch just a yard off the ground. Again the Slytherin Seeker tried to push Regulus off his broom but in his effort he lost control of his own broom and the shaft hit the ground, making the Seeker fly off and collide with the ground with a loud thump.

Regulus yanked up the shaft of his broom and raised up in the air at a steep angle, avoiding to crash against the ground as well. He leaned out as far as he could, his fingers just a few inches from the Snitch as he chased it at top speed. 

"GO, REGGIE!" screamed Sirius. Remus had jumped to his feet as well, holding his breath as he watched his boyfriend chase the Snitch.

The Snitch was going straight for one of the pillars, trying to shake Regulus off, but the young Gryffindor was not going to let it get away a second time. He followed it and braked hard just as he closed his hand around it. He was so close to the pillar that he actually made contact, but it was not hard enough to knock him off his broom, and he turned back towards the middle of the stadium, holding up the Snitch in triumph. 

All the Gryffindors, Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs jumped to their feet screaming and hooting, chanting Regulus' name. The other teammates swooped over to Regulus, hugging and slapping his back. "Merlin, that was a brilliant catch!” beamed James.

The cheering spectators milled onto the pitch, congratulating the players. Regulus couldn't help grinning. There was no one calling him a princess now. He was in such a good mood that he let the crowd carry him out of the stadium, holding the Quidditch Cup. They put him down in front of his brother, who gave him a bone-crushing hug. Regulus didn't push him away. 

"Great catch, little brother," said Sirius, smiling widely at Regulus and then pulled him in for another hug. "I’m proud of you. Who knew our little practice sessions home in the garden would result in all this?" he grinned, touching the Cup in admiration.

"Don't flatter yourself," laughed Regulus. "You only helped me a little. You can't take that much of the credit."

**o0o0o**

There was a huge party in the Tower that night with Regulus as the center of attention. Normally he wasn't so comfortable with these situations, but today it felt great. He really needed to feel part of the house, respected instead of made fun of. 

"Good game, Black," grinned Shafiq who had been released from the hospital wing. She had a bandage around her head but she didn’t seem to let it spoil her good mood. 

Sirius swung an arm around his brother’s shoulder and smiled at him. He was glad that he didn’t seem to be angry with him anymore. He had actually been afraid that Regulus wouldn’t be talking to him all summer.

Remus sat back in his chair and sent Regulus a smile. It was so good to see him happy and to see the other Gryffindors treating him the way he deserved. This was Regulus’ night.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 – “I Don’t Hurt Anyone”**

A few days later Remus was ill again. It puzzled Regulus. It seemed almost as a clockwork, happening at fixed intervals. He had to be ill at least about once a month. As he sat later that day writing a DADA essay about werewolves, a bizarre thought suddenly struck him. The symptoms... scratching and biting oneself when locked up... ill for a few days around the full moon... No. That was absurd. Remus could not... Regulus found a calendar in his bag and flipped it open. Yesterday was a full moon. And last time Remus had been sick - also full moon. But there was no way. A werewolf attending Hogwarts? It would never be allowed. And Remus, who was the kindest, gentlest person he had ever met? No. Just no.

Remus got back to the common room the next day, looking rather peaky but with a smile on his face when he saw Regulus. He was puzzled by Regulus not smiling back. "Hi," he said and sat down in an armchair. His entire body ached and he thought that he should have stayed in the hospital wing for another day, but he had just missed Regulus so much.

Regulus studied him. Remus looked exhausted and had a few new scratches, but he didn't look as bad as he had the day Regulus saw him in the hospital wing. Regulus didn't really believe Remus was a werewolf, but since he had gotten the idea, it simply wouldn't leave him alone, so he had to ask. 

"Can we go somewhere private to talk? Is your dorm free?"

"Yeah," said Remus and got up with a bit of trouble. "The others are outside, I think." 

Regulus turned to Remus as they closed the door behind them. "Tell me what illness it is that causes the patient to self-mutilate; because I haven't heard of any. Apart from mental illnesses, and they don't work the way yours does."

Remus looked a little taken aback and gingerly rubbed his sore arm. "I... It's..." He dropped his head and tried to collect himself. "When… when I was little I was in an accident and I have been ill ever since."

"An accident? What do you mean, accident?" said Regulus, feeling his stomach contract. No. It couldn't be...  _that_. 

"I..." Remus started. He couldn't tell him. But he couldn’t lie either. Regulus would know. "I... I got bit by something."

Regulus gulped and automatically moved a bit away from Remus. "What? Tell me the truth!"

Remus looked at him with pleading eyes and then sighed, ignoring that James had told him not to tell Regulus anything when he was alone with him. "I… I was attacked by a werewolf when I was little." He bit his lip nervously. "B-but I have it under control. I don’t hurt anyone," he quickly added. “I’m locked up in the Shrieking Shack.”

Regulus stared at him with wide terrified eyes. Then he scrambled backwards, feeling for the door handle, not daring to turn his back on Remus, as if he might attack him. He found the handle and sprinted down the stairs and out of the portrait hole.

**o0o0o**

Sirius, Peter and James were coming up the corridor when they spotted Regulus zooming towards them at full speed. Sirius caught him by the upper arm. "Blimey, where's the fire?"

Regulus stopped for a second but found he did not want to talk about it with James and Peter. Maybe Sirius later. "Ask Lupin!" he said and started running again. 

Sirius and James looked at each other. "Shite. We better find Moony."

They found Remus on his bed in the dormitory. He looked horrible and James felt his forehead. "Moony? Are you okay?”

“We just ran into Regulus. Or he ran into us,” said Sirius. “He seemed very upset."

"He... he knows," said Remus and rolled into a ball. "He knows and now he’s scared of me."

"Bloody hell!" gasped James. "How did he find out? Godric, what if he blows your secret? Padfoot, we better find him and make sure he doesn't!"

"I’ll find him," said Sirius. "You lads stay here with Moony."

Sirius found his brother in an empty classroom. He closed the door slowly and took a few steps towards Regulus as if he were a scared animal about to bolt. "You know about Remus, I hear," he said quietly.

"Yes. And you… you know too?" Sirius did not look shocked, so it was obvious he already knew. "You knew! How long have you known?"

"Since first year. We guessed some time after Christmas." Sirius sighed. He knew how much Regulus had always feared werewolves. Countless times he had snuck into Sirius’ bed as a child because he was convinced there were werewolves hiding in his closet or under his bed.

Regulus got to his feet. "You knew all that time? You knew and you just let me... let me be alone with him? Be... _intimate_ with him! How _could_ you? What kind of brother are you? First you reveal a very private embarrassing secret to the whole school, and now this?" Regulus was shouting by now. "If there was _one_ thing I always believed about you, it was that you would always try to protect me from danger! What an idiot I was!" 

"You’re not in danger with Remus!" shouted Sirius back. "Has he ever done anything but been kind and caring towards you? Remus would never hurt anybody. I have always looked out for you and always will, but sometimes you can just be so narrow minded, Reggie. Are you really going to punish Remus for something he has no control over?" Sirius noticed Regulus glancing at the door and grabbed his arm just as he started towards it. “No! You sit down and listen to me before going anywhere!” he said and pushed his brother resolutely down on a chair. "His father worked in the Department for Regulation of Magical Creatures and offended a very mean werewolf, who then decided to get back at him by biting his five-year-old son! You would have known this had you bothered to stay and listen to Remus. "

"He's a monster, Sirius! Werewolves hurt people! They kill people! If the Ministry didn't have a strict control policy the country would be even more dangerous!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "You have dated Remus for two months and you have known him for years and now that you know he’s a werewolf one day a month, you’re suddenly disgusted by him? He locks himself up for an entire night so he won’t hurt anyone! Hell, if we didn’t keep an eye on him he would rip himself apart!"

"Keep an eye on him? What do you mean?"

Sirius sighed and scratched his neck. "Promise to keep this a secret or we will all be expelled," he said and sat down on the desk in front of Regulus’ chair. "We sort of learned how to be animagi to keep Remus company so he wouldn't hurt himself."

Regulus eyed him blankly for a moment. "Animagi? You _sort of_  became animagi? That takes years!"

"We _worked_ on it for years," said Sirius, a bit irritated. "We care about Remus. I thought you did too."

"You keep secrets like that from your own brother? You do huge things like that with your friends but don’t even tell me? So that's how much I mean to you compared to your precious friends! Well, fuck you, Sirius!” yelled Regulus, jumping to his feet, his face crimson. “Go be with your friends who are obviously better brothers than me! Don't worry - I'll stay out of your way, and I won't betray your secrets, because I'M NOT A SNITCH!"

Regulus raced to the door, tore it open and slammed it so hard behind him that plaster came loose and sprinkled to the floor. 

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Little drama queen," he muttered.

**o0o0o**

"He won’t tell on you but he’s really mental about it," said Sirius as he got back to the dormitory.

Remus lay with his back to them all, curled into a ball. He felt horrible. Things were finally going great and now this had to happen.

"Don't be so upset, Moony," said James, putting a hand on Remus' shoulder. "He's not worth it. You know he's always been a bigot, so it's not really that much of a surprise. He doesn't deserve you."

"But I love him," sobbed Remus. "I don’t want to be with anyone else. I only want him, but now that’s ruined by this stupid illness."

"Don't you blame yourself!" said James in a strict tone. "If something like your illness can ruin it, then he's not worth keeping in the first place. Maybe it's better this way. I mean, he would find out sooner or later, and this way you haven’t wasted too much time on him."

Remus didn’t comment.

"If it helps, he’s furious at me as well," mumbled Sirius. "Because I kept it from him, and well… I also told him that we are animagi." This made all of the others stare at him. "Relax," said Sirius and waved them off. "He promised he won’t tell anyone and I trust him. He’s never been a snitch."

"I don't trust him," said Peter resolutely. "He'll probably tell those bloody Slytherin friends of his and then we'll be expelled and maybe end up in Azkaban!"

"He won't. He wouldn’t send his own brother to Azkaban," said Sirius.

"But would he do that to me?" asked Remus and lay back down, feeling very sick.

"No," said Sirius. "He won’t turn anybody in."

"Being a werewolf isn't illegal, Moony," said James, “so actually, you're the only non-criminal in here. But we all know you would be expelled if it came out. But if Padfoot says Regulus is going to keep quiet, then I believe him. He's the one who knows him best, after all." He said the last thing, looking at Peter 

"Exactly," nodded Sirius. "So don’t you worry, Moony. Your secret is safe."

Remus didn’t care. It hurt deep in his heart knowing that Regulus despised him. The look of fear in his eyes when he had realised the truth stood printed in his mind.

**o0o0o**

Regulus did not show up for dinner nor breakfast the next morning. He often skipped meals when he was particularly angry with his brother, so it didn't cause much attention from the other Gryffindors. In the lunch break he was so hungry he could hear his stomach growl, so he headed down to the basement to ask the elves for some food. Something they were more than happy to give. 

On his way to Transfiguration, Remus ran into Regulus and he stopped to look at him. He was exhausted and knew he must look terrible. Regulus just marched by, not even looking at him.

Regulus' heart was hammering in his throat. How could Dumbledore let a werewolf walk around freely at the school? Or didn't he know? He had to know. He always knew everything. Madam Pomfrey had to know, at least, because she was tending to Remus after every full moon. It wasn't that Regulus thought that werewolves should have no rights at all. He realised that at least most of them had not chosen to become werewolves; but that didn't change the fact that they were dangerous and should be kept safely away from other people. He felt awful. Confused and angry. He was also mad at himself for being such a coward. He was scared of Remus. More scared than disgusted, he realised. But most of all he was angry. With Remus. With Sirius and his bloody friends. Angry for being lied to. For being deceived. 

During Transfiguration Remus felt even more ill and had to ask to be allowed to go to the hospital wing.

"What’s wrong dear? You look pale," asked Madam Pomfrey and felt his forehead.

"I… I feel sick," said Remus. He just wanted to go to bed and sleep.

Madam Pomfrey looked him over worriedly. "Alright, dear. Off to bed with you."

**o0o0o**

Dumbledore sat in his office studying some documents when there was a knock on his door. “Come in,” he said, looking up.

It had been a few days and Regulus' head felt like it was about to burst. He had to get some kind of order in his thoughts and feelings, and he didn't know who else to turn to, so he had asked McGonagall to take him to the Headmaster. 

"Sir... I would like a word if you have the time."

"Of course," said Dumbledore and put down his quill, looking at the boy in front of him. "What can I do for you, young Regulus?"

Regulus sat down in the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. "I found out that Lupin is a werewolf. I'm sure you must know about it. I’m not here to tell on him."

"Oh yes, I know that Remus is a werewolf." The professor smiled kindly at Regulus. "And you must wonder why I let him attend the school, do you not?"

Regulus nodded.

"Well... Remus is no danger to anyone here. His illness is carefully monitored by Madam Pomfrey and myself. He is lead off school grounds doing the full moon and taken back the day after."

"But werewolves are dangerous and untrustworthy. They're not safe to be around."

"Has Remus shown any signs of being untrustworthy?" asked Dumbledore, raising his eyebrows. "All I see is a bright young man who just wants to be accepted and get an education like everyone else. Yes, some werewolves are deceiving, but so are some regular people."

"He deceived me. He kept it from me although we're... we have become quite close lately. I'm afraid of what his intentions are. I can't trust him."

"Perhaps Remus kept it from you because he was afraid of your reaction and was just waiting for the right moment to tell you," said Dumbledore. "I know Remus, and I’m certain that he never meant to hurt you."

"He... he has always been so kind," said Regulus. "I don't understand how he can be a werewolf."

"Remus _is_ very kind," smiled Dumbledore. "He did not ask for this condition. His family has spent every knut they had in the attempt to find a cure. With no luck, unfortunately."

So _that_ was why Remus was so poor. Regulus felt a sting of sympathy. "So, are you saying that he's still the same person he would have been if he had not been bitten?"

"That is exactly what I’m saying," smiled Dumbledore.

"Then why does the Ministry have so strict sanctions against werewolves if they're the same persons they always were?"

"Mostly because of fear and ignorance, I believe. People are afraid of what they don’t understand."

Regulus nodded slowly. "Thank you for seeing me, Professor," he said, getting up. "May I leave?"

"You may," smiled Dumbledore. "I hope our little talk helped you find the answers you needed."

"Yes. Thank you," said Regulus and left. 

The talk had made Regulus view things differently. For one thing, he again saw Remus as a human being and he found that he no longer feared him. However, it didn't change the fact that he had been lying to him and Regulus was still angry. Especially with his brother. In a way he could understand why Remus had been scared to reveal his secret, but Sirius was just an arse. At least he could have told his own brother that he was an animagus. Regulus started attending meals again, but sat at the far end of the table and completely ignored the Marauders. 

**o0o0o**

"You gotta eat something, Moony," said Sirius, eying Remus' plate where the food had barely been touched.

"Yes, you're thin enough as it is," said James worriedly. "Think about that you need strength for your next transformation." He whispered the last word.

"I don’t care," said Remus, looking down at his plate. "It doesn’t matter anymore."

"You’ll get really ill if you don’t eat," said Sirius and put an arm around him. "Please eat. For our sakes if not for your own.”

Remus sighed and picked up his fork, but Regulus passed the table just then, wanting to get his Ancient Runes essay over with before bedtime. He made a point of staring stiffly ahead while passing.

Sirius turned his head and narrowed his eyes at his brother. "Uptight," he mumbled and rubbed Remus' back. 

**o0o0o**

After the last lesson Remus went to the common room alone. The others had asked him to join them by the lake but Remus didn’t feel like being social. He would rather sit by himself and do his homework, hoping it could get his mind off things.

“Trouble in paradise?" asked Lily as she dumped down next to Remus. "Looks like your boyfriend is having an attitude."

Remus looked up and sighed. "He found out about you-know-what and now he hates me."

"Oh, Remus," she said and put an arm around him. "Do you want me to talk to him? Explain some things?"

"It would only make things worse. He would know that you know we’re together." His voice broke for a second and he rested his head against her shoulder, feeling a bit of comfort.

"I suppose you're right. And your brother hasn't been able to talk sense into him, has he?"

Remus shook his head. 

"Well, it isn't as though his methods of talking sense into his brother are very efficient, are they?" she smiled. 

"He tried but they ended up fighting as usual. I wish he would just talk to me. Not be afraid of me."

"Maybe you should just give him some time, Remus. I can imagine it being quite a shock finding out your boyfriend is a werewolf. Especially someone with his background."

"I _am_ giving him time. And space. Which apparently suits him just fine, because he’s complete ignoring me now."

"Well... At least that's better than him telling on you," Lily tried. 

Regulus came into the common room just then and stopped abruptly when he spotted Remus in Lily's arms. Both of them saw him and when noticing, Regulus immediately stuck his nose in the air and marched right past them up to his dorm. 

Remus wanted to say something but didn't get a chance before Regulus was gone. He sank back in his seat, looking miserable. "See what I mean? He hates me."

"If you ask me I would say he looked more jealous than disgusted," said Lily. "Like when you were with Noel. Do you remember how horribly he behaved?"

"You think… you think he’s jealous of you?" Remus asked, baffled.

Lily nodded.

"But... but there’s nothing to be jealous of. I’m gay. We’re just friends." He then remembered how Regulus had looked at him when he and Noel had been together. "What am I supposed to do? Everything I do seems to upset him."

"Well, being jealous is a whole lot better than being scared, isn't it? If he's jealous, he will come back to you eventually. But I could be wrong. It  _has_ happened before."

**o0o0o**

Regulus was irritated. What did that stupid girl think she was doing? Was she trying to get her claws in Remus? Didn't she know what he was? Well, being raised by Muggles she probably didn't even believe in werewolves," he thought bitterly. What did he care anyway? It wasn't as if he wanted to get back with Remus. He shouldn’t care who he hugged. 

Regulus made a show of ignoring Remus another week, but then one Wednesday he ran into him in a deserted corridor. He was just about to pass him when his feet stopped of their own accord. Remus looked miserable. Just like Regulus felt on the inside but would never show. Remus looked at him with a tiny glimpse of what looked like hope in his eyes.

Remus wanted to speak but no words come out. What was going to happen now? Regulus had stopped. He had not just walked past him as he usually did. "Hey..." he croaked and gulped, hoping that the other boy would say something back to him.

"Is they all you have to say?" asked Regulus in a cool voice.

"N-no," said Remus quickly and bit his lip. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about my illness, but I was afraid of how you would react... I really wanted to tell you but I just couldn't find the right moment..." He hung his head and looked even more miserable that before. "I'm really sorry."

"Stop acting like you're the victim!"

"I'm sorry," said Remus again. "I just feel bad for not telling you."

"Well, not half as bad as me," said Regulus, still sounding very offended. "I don't like being deceived. And I don't like having a werewolf for a boyfriend."

"Well... I can’t change that I'm a werewolf, so I guess you don't want to be with me anymore…" said Remus.

Regulus opened his mouth to confirm Remus' statement, but nothing came out. He eyed him up and down. Although he looked miserable, he was as attractive as ever. Regulus realised that he had missed him like crazy.  _He's only a wolf one night a month,_ a voice inside himself said.  _And you will never see him then. The rest of the time he's as human as the rest of us._ Suddenly he couldn't hold back anymore. He gripped Remus’ robes and pulled him in, roughly crashing their lips together. 

"Mpf!" Remus gasped against Regulus' lips, his eyes widening in surprise, but then he kissed back eagerly and wrapped his arms around Regulus, pulling him close. He took a few steps back and they hit the wall, still kissing.

After a minute of standing like that, ravishing each other's mouths, Regulus came to his senses enough to remember where they were. He took a quick look around and found that no one was there. Still, they could not risk anything. "The room!" he gasped, thinking he would die if he could not have more of Remus right now. "Meet me in five!" he said and sprinted off towards seventh floor. 

As soon as Remus stepped into the room, Regulus threw himself at him, picking up where they had left off. He fumbled desperately with Remus' shirt, yanking at it to get it off, all the while not letting go of his mouth.

Remus broke the kiss so they could both pull their shirts over their heads and then crashed their mouths together again. He walked Regulus backwards towards the bed and as Regulus felt onto it, Remus landed on top of him, his hands roaming his body while his tongue explored his mouth. "I missed you so much," he gasped and started kissing his way down Regulus’ neck, onto his chest. The familiar taste of him almost him lose himself completely. He started fumbling with the button to his trousers, all the while his lips kissed their way down the soft skin.

"Up here!" ordered Regulus as Remus had got his trousers open and pulled them down. He needed to feel all of him. His whole body against him. 

Remus quickly moved up and caught his mouth. He undid his own trousers and pulled them down. Then he started rocking his hips against Regulus as he kept kissing him, moaning softly.

Regulus clumsy kicked off his trousers, which were hanging around his ankles. Then he wrapped his legs around Remus for maximum body contact. 

Remus kept thrusting, quickly picking up speed. He broke the kiss and leaned his head down to nip on Regulus' ear and then licked it. He felt as if he just couldn't get enough of him.

"Remus," moaned Regulus, desperately thrusting upwards to meet Remus, holding on tightly as if afraid he would leave if he didn't. 

"R-Regulus," moaned Remus into his ear and sped up another knot. He reached down between them and took a hold on both of their erections as he thrust into his hand. It felt so good he almost couldn't stand it and he kissed Regulus' neck, making his way up his jawline to his mouth.

Regulus came like an explosion with a loud, "Remus!"

Remus did a few more jerks and then came as well, pressing his face into Regulus ' neck. He collapsed on top of him, completely out of breath. He looked up and kissed him again before rolling off.

Regulus turned to face Remus, placing sloppy kisses on his neck and face for a few moments. Then he rested his head on the pillow, watching him. 

Remus gently caressed his check and smiled at him with caring eyes. He pulled the covers over them and put an arm around him, pulling him close to his chest.

"I'm still mad at you," said Regulus, but with no real bite to it. 

"And I'm still sorry," Remus said and kissed the top of Regulus’ head. He let his fingers run lightly down his back and smiled as he felt him shiver.

"How... how is it?" asked Regulus. "Transforming and all that."

"It hurts a lot. I don’t remember much other that the pain. And when I wake up again I'm in pain as well and feeling ill and weak. That's why I have to go to the hospital wing each time and not just back to my own bed."

Regulus nodded slowly. For the first time he actually felt sorry for Remus for his condition. "And what exactly is it that my brother and the others do for you?"

"They keep me company so I’m not bored. When I’m bored I get frustrated and then I hurt myself even more," Remus explained. "So I'm very grateful that they become animagi. They protect me from myself."

"So what animals are they?" Regulus knew that you didn't just chose an animal to become. It was a reflection of your personality. 

"Well," started Remus and kissed Regulus’ hair. "James is a stag and Sirius is a dog. And Peter? Well... funny you always call him a rat, because that’s his animagus," he grinned. "So that’s why we have our pet names. Prongs. Padfoot, Wormtail and Moony."

"Of course he's a rat! I always told you. And Sirius - a big rambunctious dog, I bet! Makes sense too, Potter being a stag, the way he's always strutting around, showing off."

"Yeah they fit perfectly, don’t they?" smiled Remus. He pulled a little back and looked at Regulus. "I'm really glad that you know. I never wanted to keep it from you but I was just so scared of losing you."

"Well... I suppose I understand that. But I’m still a little mad." Regulus was quiet for a while, then asked, "What animal do you think I would be if I were an animagus?"

"I think you would be a cat," said Remus after a moment’s consideration. "You're a bit reserved, but that’s not a bad thing. You're also a bit mysterious and don’t trust just anyone." Regulus was also the most stubborn and easily offended person Remus knew, but he didn’t say that for fear of – well – offending him. “And as you know, I like cats very much.”

"I guess I could be a cat,” said Regulus pensively. Then I would eat Pettigrew. Would be full for a month."

Remus couldn’t help but laugh even though it was his friend Regulus was insulting. "You two don’t like each other very much," he said and brushed a lock of hair out of Regulus' eyes.

"That's no secret. He's a pathetic little follower. And he's not trustworthy. I know you lads can't see it but I tell you, beware of him. He will only be loyal to you as long as he sees an advantage in it for him. It's a mystery why he's not in Slytherin, to be honest."

"Well, I have never had a reason not to trust Peter," said Remus. "Except for that one time where he followed me to see who I was meeting, and I suppose it was just curiosity."

Regulus suddenly checked his watch. "I should be in Transfiguration now."

"Blimey," said Remus. "I have Arithmancy." He sat up and ran a hand through his messy hair. "I guess we’re going to be late or not show at all. What would you prefer?"

"Not show. Barging in in the middle of class will only draw attention. Then we also get an extra half hour here."

"I like the sound of that," smiled Remus and lay back down, wrapping his arms around Regulus.

**o0o0o**

Remus beamed when he turned up for History of Magic at three O'clock.

"Hey, what's up with you?" asked James when Remus sat down next to him. "Did a certain someone forgive you?"

"Yeah," smiled Remus and rested his chin on his hand. "He did. He said he was still a bit mad at me, but I think we’re okay again.”

"So does he actually wants to be with you or is he just accepting your condition?"

"He wants to be with me," beamed Remus and sighed with relief. It felt good to say it.

"Blimey," said James. He was more than a little surprised. Getting over Remus’ condition was one thing, but actually being in a relationship, being intimate, with a werewolf, was more tolerant than he had ever imagined Regulus capable of being. "He must really be head over heels for you if he can put that aside."

"Do you think it's such a surprise that someone could love me in spite of my condition?" asked Remus. He was actually a little hurt by James' words.

"No, no, that's not what I meant at all, Moony," said James quickly. "I meant that I'm surprised someone like Regulus, who's, well you know not exactly an open-minded person, can overcome his prejudices. I mean, when he came, he could barely tolerate Muggleborns."

Remus looked at James. “Regulus has changed a lot. He has come really far. You know, very few people treat werewolves as equals. I know what I’m talking about. I’ve lost just about every friend I’ve ever had, the second they found out what I am. You really have to give Regulus some credit.”

James thought about it for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah. I guess I should. “

**o0o0o**

Regulus felt more light-hearted than he had in a long time. If there was something he had learned from the whole incidence, it was how much he had missed Remus and how much he meant to him. If someone had told him just a month ago that he would come to love a werewolf, he would have laughed a certain body part off. But he did, and learning what Remus was, hadn't changed it. He knew that now.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 – “What Is a Pizza?”**

Orion stood on the platform to pick up his sons when they came home for the summer holidays. Regulus hoped his parents would be proud of him for once. He had managed to get OWLs in all his subjects, most of them with an ‘Outstanding’. It was as good as Sirius’ scores last year. Regulus had worked extremely hard. But the tall man had no time for chitchat, he was in a hurry to get the boys away from all the Muggles at Kings Cross.

A beaming Kreacher greeted Regulus as he walked through the doors. "Young Master is home," smiled the elf and took Regulus' trunk, leaving Sirius to carry his own. Sirius just mumbled a few curse words and went up to his room. 

Regulus told Kreacher about the Quidditch cup and his OWLs. 

"Brilliant, Master Regulus," beamed the elf. "Kreacher is happy to hear that Master Regulus did well on his OWLs and Quidditch. Kreacher is very proud of young Master."

"Thank you," smiled Regulus. "Look," he said, rummaging in his trunk. "I brought you some sweets from Honeydukes. It's the best sweetshop in the country.”

"T-thank you, young Master," said the elf in a voice quivering with gratitude. Even though Regulus often gave Kreacher presents, he was always moved to tears.

They sat at the dinner table late that evening and Sirius suddenly cleared his throat. "Mother and Father - I have something to ask," he said in his most polite tone.

"What is it, Sirius?" asked Mr. Black, sending him a suspicious look. 

"I have gotten Regulus tickets for the Quidditch match two weekends from now and I wanted to ask if we could go."

"Hmm," hummed Mr. Black. "Are you planning to watch it with that horrible lot you always hang around?"

"I only bought tickets for me and Regulus," said Sirius. "As his birthday gift."

"Well... I suppose there is no harm in that. What do you think, Walburga?"

"Yes alright," said Mrs. Black. "They did bring back good marks so I suppose they are entitled to a treat."

Sirius sent his brother a toothy grin.

"Thank you, Mother. Thank you, Father," said Regulus, feeling very grateful. Also for the acknowledgement of his OWLs. 

**o0o0o**

"Regulus!" Sirius called up the stairway. "It’s time to go!" It was the day of the match and Sirius was in a good mood. He couldn't wait to get out of the house for a whole day.

Regulus came down a minute later, very excited. Sirius was going to take him side-along-apparition, since Regulus wasn't old enough and didn't have his licence. They went outside, into an alley where they were out of sight and Regulus hung on to his brother's arm as he apparated them to just outside the Quidditch stadium in Northern London.

Heading towards the entrance Sirius kept looking around. “Ah, I forgot to tell you," he said and waved at someone. "I got another present for you.” Then he yelled, "Prongs!" and waved at the messy haired teen he had spotted in the crowd.

James headed towards them with a huge smile on his lips. Next to him walked Remus.

Regulus’ mouth fell open. "B-but you promised Father!"

"I told him that I only bought tickets for you and me. James bought his own tickets and one for Remus, so technically I’m not lying. Peter wasn’t able to make it but I figured that suited you just fine."

"Right," nodded Regulus, looking at Remus the whole time. He wished he could hug and kiss him but there were other people around. 

"Well. Let's go, lads," said Sirius and they walked inside.

They took their seats, Remus next to Regulus. He took Regulus’ hand, his jacket arranged to hide it. No one would notice. Regulus smiled at him. The seats were rather small so they could sit so close that they were touching without it looking strange. This was going to be a great game. Remus slipped his fingers between Regulus ' and squeezed his hand. "Good to see you again." He desperately wanted to give him a kiss. He had missed him so much the past weeks.

"Me too. I've missed you."

The game looked to be running a good long while. Both Seekers were very good and every time one Seeker spotted the Snitch the other was there, knocking him off his course so the Snitch got away. Regulus was fine with the game lasting as long as possible, because that meant more time away from Grimmauld Place and more time with Remus. 

After the game James suggested they go into town and find something to eat. 

"Good idea," beamed Sirius. "Don't worry, Reg. Mum and Dad don’t know what time the match was over."

"Sirius," said Regulus in a forced calm voice. "I want to speak to you." He pulled him a bit away from the others so they couldn't be overheard. "You know Mother and Father would never allow this!"

"Relax," said Sirius. "I promise to look after you and it's not as if Muggles will bite you. Besides, I thought you wanted to spend some more time with Remus."

"Somebody could see us!" said Regulus, mortified. "And you know how big trouble we would be in if they find out we were out in the Muggle world. It's one thing meeting James and Remus - but this is outright disobedience!"

"Well, I can't force you to go but there’s no reason to be so worried. I’m of age and can take care of you just fine so I honestly don’t see a problem," sighed Sirius and crossed his arms.

“I don’t need taking care of! It’s not because I’m scared,” scoffed Regulus. “It’s just Mother and –“

 "Try to live a little, Reggie. You could get a brand new experience here. Aren’t you curious? You’ve barely even seen a Muggle before."

Regulus stood for a while shuffling his feet and looking around, unable to decide. He really wanted to do this, but it was wrong. It was disobedience, and he dared not think of what would happen if they were found out. 

"Do you want to go or not?” asked Sirius, tapping his foot. “I promise it will only be an hour or so and then we'll go straight home."

James sighed as he and Remus watched the brothers. It was not difficult guessing what they were talking about. "Looks like Mummy's boy is having issues with going. I bet she didn't give him permission."

"Of course she didn't. You know how strict they are. I reckon all hell would break loose if they found out, so maybe we shouldn't..." Remus didn't like the idea of Regulus getting into trouble, but a selfish part of him wished he would agree to come so they could spend some more time together. He didn’t feel ready to let go of him so soon.

The brothers finally came back, Sirius with a smile on his face. Obviously he had talked Regulus into coming. They walked down the street, Regulus walking on the inside of Remus while keeping a nervous eye on the people around. 

"You don't have to use Remus as a shield," said James. "Muggles don't usually attack little boys."

Regulus glared at James. "And let’s hope they aren't in the habit of attacking big-headed twats."

They discussed what kind of food to get and settled on pizza. Sirius looked at James and Remus. "You're the only ones with Muggle money."

"I don’t have a lot," said Remus and stuck his hand into his pocket. "Just enough for one, I’m afraid."

“No problem,” said James. “I can lay out for Padfoot and Regulus.”

"What is a pizza?" asked Regulus, feeling a little ignorant. He knew nothing about Muggle food, having barely spent any time in Muggle areas. 

Remus explained what pizza was. “I’m sure you’ll like it. I’ve never met anyone who didn’t."

Regulus didn't like for Remus to spend the little money he had on lunch when he and Sirius had access to plenty of gold, so he announced that since this was his birthday, he was going to pay everybody's lunch. He knew James didn't need it, but it would probably hurt Remus’ pride offering to pay just for him.

Regulus curiously eyed the pizzas on people's plates as they walked through the restaurant. It smelled wonderfully, he had to admit. Remus helped him read the menu and chose a pizza that would be to his liking. They ordered a good ten minutes later when Regulus had finally made his decision.

"Ah, this is life," said Sirius and leaned back in his seat.

Regulus couldn't help looking around curiously at all the Muggles. Apart from the clothes (some of which were a little weird) they didn't look very different from magic folk. His eyes fell on two young waitresses standing at the entrance to the kitchen, looking their way and talking. So Muggle birds were just as crazy with his brother as witches were... Sirius had noticed too, it was obvious, because he was grinning, leaning back in his chair and tossing his hair out of his eyes. 

A pretty black waitress came with their pizzas, smiling flirtatiously at Sirius when she put his in front of him.

“Thank you, darling,” said Sirius, sending her a wink.

“Let me know if there’s anything you need,” she smiled, tilting her head.

"Enjoying being single again?” asked James when the waitress had left after a bit more flirting with Sirius.

"Yeah. I can flirt as much as I want now," grinned Sirius and picked up a slice of his pizza.

Regulus looked from Remus to James to his brother. "You lads eat with your  _hands_?" he asked in an incredulous tone. 

"Yes?" said Sirius, raising an eyebrow at him. 

"But you can use a fork and a knife if you want," smiled Remus and put his slice down to go find some cutlery for Regulus.

"This is easier," mumbled Sirius and took another bite.

"Just because we're in a Muggle restaurant doesn't mean we have to eat like animals," said Regulus, eying his brother disapprovingly. 

"You just eat you food the way you want and I'll eat mine the way I want."

"Eat like a civilised person, Sirius," said Regulus. "If Mother could see you now..."

"You should know by now that if Mum saw me now I would just eat even messier."

Regulus shook his head and cut a piece for himself. It was good. So Muggles weren't too bad cooks...

"So what did you lads think of the match?" asked Sirius and took another slice.

"I think it was exciting," said Remus. "They were very aggressive, though. Like watching two Slytherin teams,” he grinned.

"Oh, not that bad,” said Regulus. “They were playing rough but not dirty. Great game." Regulus was loosening up. It was nice sitting here with friends, just relaxing and having fun, away from everything, not really having to think of his appearance.  

"I'm going to visit the bathroom," said Regulus and sent Remus a subtle look. 

"I believe he was trying to tell you something," grinned James when Regulus had left.

Remus blushed a little and then got up from his seat. "E-excuse me," he said and headed for the bathroom as well.

Regulus was waiting for him there and pulled him into a stall. “It's rather unsanitary in here, but I suppose it will have to do." 

Remus wrapped his arms around him, pushing him back against the wall as he leaned in for a kiss. He stopped inches from his mouth and whispered, "I'm missed you so much," then closed the gap between them.

Regulus closed his eyes as he kissed back, pouring all his heart into it. He had missed Remus too. And it was horrible to think of the one and a half months there would pass until they would see each other next time.

James looked at his watch and grinned at Sirius. "How long are they going to stay in there? You think they're shagging?"

"I doubt they’re doing more than snogging. Reggie would never go further in a public bathroom," grinned Sirius and looked around. "But we might want to go get them soon if we are to get home in decent time.”

They came back a few minutes later, Remus' hair and clothes a little ruffled but Regulus' as perfect as ever.

"So - was it good?" grinned James. 

Regulus pressed his lips together in a thin line and shot an insulted look at him. Remus straightened his clothes and sat down next to Regulus.

"I hate to cut your date shorts," said Sirius, "but we better get on home before Mum and Dad start wondering where we are."

Regulus looked at his watch and got a little startled. "We better hurry! The game ended two hours ago! What are we going to say, Sirius, if they ask? That we had a bite to eat at a food stand by the stadium after the game? It wouldn't be a total lie."

"Yeah, something like that," said Sirius, getting up from his seat.

They found an empty alley from where they could disapparate. 

"Well, it's been great seeing you," said James to Sirius. "You’ll have to come visit me soon. Moony and Wormtail as well."

"I will," said Sirius, giving his friend a hug.

"I'll see you at school," smiled Remus and leaned in to give Regulus a kiss, which made the other two wolf whistle.

Regulus pulled away before Remus could kiss him properly. He glared at James who was standing grinning cheekily. "If you think we're going to stand here snogging for your entertainment, you can think again, you pervert!"

"Oh don't mind us," grinned Sirius. "We can look away if you want a good snog before we go."

Remus gave up on a good-bye kiss and settled with taking Regulus’ hands instead. "I'll see you soon. Write me, okay?"

Regulus nodded. There were many things he would like to tell Remus (how wonderful it had been to see him, how much he had missed him, how he dreading every day of the rest of the holiday without him, how much he meant to him), but he couldn't say it. So he just gave Remus a small smile and said, "Yeah, see you."

**o0o0o**

Mrs. Black came into the hall as they were taking off their shoes. "You have been gone for five hours!"

"We stayed to grab a bite to eat at the food stand," explained Sirius, deciding to stick to the story Regulus had come up with. He crossed his arms and looked at his Mother. "It was my brother’s birthday present. Surely we are allowed to be out for a few hours. "

Mrs. Black looked at him sceptically for a moment and then over at Regulus. She knew Sirius was a good liar while Regulus was not. 

Regulus concentrated on keeping a straight face. "It was a wonderful game, Mother, and it lasted quite long. Both teams were playing equally well, so it was difficult getting a win through. And the food was surprisingly decent when you think about it being a simple food stand." He hated to lie to his parents. In fact it made his stomach churn, but there was no way he could tell the truth.

Sirius looked at his brother and then at their mother with a fake smile. "See? No problem at all. We got home safe and we had a bloody good time. "

"Use decent language in this house, Sirius!" scolded Mrs. Black.

"Um, I think I will go freshen up," said Regulus, quickly excusing himself. If his brother decided to take one of his rounds with their mother, he did not want to be there. 

He met Kreacher at the top of the stairs where he was busy dusting the frames of old photographs of some of Regulus’ ancestors. Kreacher smiled. “Did Master Regulus have a good day?"

"Yes, brilliant!" beamed Regulus. "It’s rare that I get to see Quidditch outside of school. Kreacher, when you have time could you draw me a bath, please? I'm a little dirty from the dust and the public seating, you know."

Not to talk about all the Muggle artefacts he had been in touch with. 

**o0o0o**

The next few days were quite uneventful. Then one evening at the dinner table a touchy subject was brought up. 

"Do you still have that half-blood girlfriend of yours, Sirius?" asked Mr. Black. 

"Yes," said Sirius stiffly and poured himself a glass of water. He didn’t feel like telling them that he had broken up with Chelsea. It would just please them.

"I would end that soon if I were you," said Mrs. Black. "Find yourself a decent pure-blood."

"Well you’re not me, are you?"

"Sirius, it is time to grow up and take on some responsibility,” said Orion. “We have been liberal and allowed you a lot of freedom, but you have played long enough. Having a few flings at school is all very well, but you're nearly eighteen now. It is time to start thinking seriously about your future."

"What if I have a future with Chelsea? Or some Muggle-born, for that matter?" asked Sirius.

This made his mother gasp in disbelief. "You are not to say such things in this house! Your duty is to pass on the family name on and that _cannot_ be done with such filth!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes and growled. "You can't tell me what to do and with whom my future lies."

"Yes, we can!" said Mr. Black, hammering a fist in the table. "You are the heir to an ancient and proud line and you will not destroy hundreds of years' pure-breeding because of your own selfishness!"

"Oh, so I should marry someone I'm related to, like you two?" snapped Sirius and stared at his father. “Too bad all my cousins are already married.”

Walburga gasped in horror, clapping a hand to her chest.

"That's enough of your cheek!" Orion roared and stood up. "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

Regulus swallowed and stared down at his plate. He hated when they fought. Especially when he was forced to be present, like here where he couldn't just leave the dinner table without permission. 

"Make me, why don’t you?" screamed Sirius back at his father, jumping to his feet as well.

"I'm telling you one more time - go to your room! Trust me, you don't want me to make you!"

Sirius stood his ground, shooting daggers at his father "Maybe I should go for a walk instead and find a pretty Muggle bird to go home with!"

Regulus gasped and held his breath. What was going to happen now? This was very, very bad. Had Sirius talked like this just a year ago it would have sent him to the basement for a week, but since he had come of age, their parents had been more lenient with their punishment, knowing that if Sirius chose to leave for good, they could not stop him. 

Mrs. Black jumped to her feet, all the blood drained from her face. "You will not talk like this in my house! Disrespectful and ungrateful!" she screamed. 

It turned into one of Sirius and his mother's screaming matches, and a bad one at that. Regulus sank deep into his seat, wishing he could leave. Wishing his brother would just shut up for once. 

Finally Sirius walked out of the room and a moment later the sound of the front door slamming rung through the house.

Mrs. Black sat back down, still furious. "That ungrateful little..." She turned to Regulus. "Don't you take after your brother, Regulus. You’re a good boy, so you stay that way, you hear?"

"Yes, Mother," said Regulus, his head bent. His plate was only half-empty but he did not think he could eat another bite.

Sirius came back about three hours later. He had cooled down and thankfully his parents had gone to bed. He went up to Regulus’ room and knocked on the door. "Hey," he said as he entered and went to sit down in a chair next to the bed.

"Where've you been?" asked Regulus. He had been worried for his brother, to say the least. There was no knowing what he had been up to, storming out in a rage like that into Muggle London. 

"Around town," said Sirius and leaned back in the chair. "I considered going to James' house but they would have insisted that I stayed the night, and well... I couldn't just leave you all alone here while they were completely mental."

"Thank you for your concern," said Regulus pointedly.

"I care about you, if you haven't noticed," said Sirius a little irritated. "But I have to leave in two days’ time again, though. Have to go see Remus."

"What? Why?" said Regulus, sitting up straight. 

"Full moon is in two days. Can't let him hurt himself," said Sirius, rolling his thumbs against each other.

"Oh. Right. But how are you going to get Mother to give you permission to go for a whole day and night?" 

"I’m of age and can go where I please," said Sirius. "But don't worry. I'll ask or at least tell her where I'm going, so she won't pester you about it."

 “She will not be happy. And you live under their roof so you should follow their rules."

"I'm not going to risk Remus hurting himself because they won't let me go see him," Sirius snorted. "But I'll ask Mother in the morning and be as polite as I can.”

"Isn't it enough that Potter and the rat go? Why are you so special that they're not enough for him?"

"Why are you so keen on me staying here when I could be helping Remus?"

"I'm not," pouted Regulus. He was not going to admit to Sirius (or himself) that he was a bit jealous that Sirius was going to see Remus and Regulus wasn’t.

"Good," said Sirius and got up from his seat. "You want me to bring Remus a letter or something? I promise I won't read it."

"Yeah, alright," said Regulus, a little cheered up at the prospect of writing a more personal letter than he dared send with owls. "And you can bring one back. But I swear - if you read any of them I'll hex your privates off."


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26 – “I’m of Age”**

As foreseen, it was not received well when Sirius a few days later announced to his mother that he was leaving to go visit his friends. "You will do no such thing!" she said in a shrill voice. 

"Yes, I will," said Sirius. "My friend is ill and I want to pay him a visit!" He narrowed his eyes and his mouth went into a thin line as his temper rose.

"With the behaviour you have been showing lately you have not earned the privilege to go out!" screamed Mrs. Black!"

"You can’t make me stay here if I don’t want to! I’m of age!" Sirius roared back at his Mother. 

"AS LONG AS YOU'RE PART OF THIS HOUSEHOLD YOU WILL DO AS YOURE TOLD!"

"I WILL VISIT MY FRIEND WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"

Regulus was sitting in his room but could hear most of the words being shouted. He was not surprised. He had known this was going to happen when Sirius informed their mother that he was going. The screaming continued for another five minutes and ended with a loud slamming of the front door. 

**o0o0o**

_Dear Remus_

_I hope you will not feel too bad tonight and tomorrow._

_Thank you for coming to the game last week. It was nice seeing you._

_It is rather boring here, to be honest. I am not allowed to do anything funny or go anywhere pleasant. Well, neither is Sirius, but he does it anyway as you can probably imagine. He's fighting a lot with our parents. It's getting tiresome. Perhaps you can tell him to behave. He doesn't listen to me._

_Mother thinks I should go visit Barty but I don't much feel like it. I don't like him so much anymore. He's getting very preoccupied with dark magic and it's almost all he can talk about. I don't share his interest. Don't tell Sirius - I would hate for him to think he was right about him. He will just gloat._

_I wish I could come see you at least once before September, but I cannot see how it is possible. I cannot ask to go visit you - they would not understand and they would be very disappointed that I would consider you lads my friends._

_Looking forward to your reply._

_Sincerely, R. A. B._

**o0o0o**

The next morning James and Sirius went out for a cup of coffee before going back to their respective homes. Remus had gone to bed after writing Sirius a letter to bring home to Regulus.

"This Muggle drink is so good," said James and took a large sip of his cappuccino. "I could drink ten of these every day."

There were a couple of young women sitting at the next table who kept glancing at them and whispering together. When one of then caught eye contact with Sirius, she smiled and blushed. 

Sirius sent her a seductive smile and then turned back to James. "Yeah... Those Muggles make a lot of interesting stuff. I'm glad you showed me the Muggle world." He took a sip of his coffee and hummed approvingly. "I have to get Regulus more out so he can stop being so afraid of Muggles. If he keeps dating Remus then he’s bound to meet his mother at some point."

James laughed. "He will get a heart attack. Just going into that pizza place last week took a lot of courage."

The shorthaired girl at the next table whispered something to her friend and they both looked at Sirius. 

“I think you have an admirer,” grinned James. "Ever been on a date with a Muggle?"

"I would have told you if I had," said Sirius and eyed the girl with interest. "Hey, why _haven’t_ I ever been on a date with a Muggle?" he continued, wondering why he had not had this idea long ago.

"Why don't you ask her, then? She's definitely interested."

"Jamie boy, I think I’ll do just that,” grinned Sirius. He got up and strolled over to her table. "Hey there. What's your name?"

She smiled and blushed a little. "Hi. I'm Christine."

"I'm Sirius."

"Why wouldn't you be serious?" she asked, looking puzzled.

"It’s my name. S-i-r-i-u-s,” he spelled out.

“Oh, what an unusual name,” she smiled.

“Say -” Sirius said, leaning nonchalantly against the table, “how would you like to go out for a bite to eat or a cup of coffee sometime?"

"Sure!" beamed Christine. She found a pen in her purse and took a napkin. "What's your number?" she asked, ready to write it down.

“Number?”

“Your phone number, of course.”

Sirius scratched his neck, eying the pen in her hand. "I don't exactly have a phone number. My parents are weird. They don’t allow such things in the house."

The girls exchanged looks. "Your parents don't have a phone?"

Sirius considered telling Christine to call Remus’ phone but then thought better of it. He didn’t know how many phones there were in the country, so he had no idea if Remus' phone number was 70 or 7000. "I told you they’re weird,” he grinned. “But who needs phones? We can just agree to meet here sometime tomorrow?"

"Alright," nodded Christine. “What about at four?”

Sirius agreed and went back to his own chair. Red in the face James looked like he had been struggling hard not to laugh for a while. "Oh, as if you would have done any better,” said Sirius. “Apparently a telephone is rather common amongst Muggles. I hadn't thought about that part."

**o0o0o**

A bit after tea there was a knock on Regulus’ door. "Special delivery for Regulus Black." Before he could answer, Sirius walked in with a wrapped present in his hand. He dropped it in Regulus’ lap along with a letter.

"A present? From Remus?” asked Regulus.

"No, it’s from Merlin,” said Sirius, throwing himself on the bed.

“Funny,” mumbled Regulus and quickly unwrapped the gift. It was a blue jumper. "Oh. He bought one of these for my birthday in the wrong size. I forgot about that," he said and pulled it on. It fit perfectly.

"Oh yeah, the famous jumper. Looks good on you," said Sirius and yawned. "Well, since I didn’t get any sleep last night I think I'll hit the sack and leave you to read your love letter in peace."

Regulus studied himself in the mirror. He looked rather handsome in the jumper, he thought. He hoped Remus agreed. Then he sat down and tore the letter open.

_Dear Regulus_

_Thank you for the letter. It was so good to see you at the stadium last week. I enjoyed every minute of the time we had together._

_Last night went okay. I only hurt myself a little, but I am very tired. I just got back and my mother insist that I rest, but I really wanted to write to you first._

_I can understand your hesitation about Barty. Dark magic is not something to take lightly. I hope he doesn’t try to include you in anything. Please promise me you won't, dear Regulus._

_I hope the jumper fits you this time. I really did my best to measure you correctly. I can’t wait to see you in it. I’m sure you look gorgeous._

_Write me back when you get the opportunity._

_Love, Remus_

Love, Remus. Love. Regulus stared at the word. He knew that it was a common thing to write at the end of a letter, and that it didn't necessarily mean "I love you," but still... Regulus would never dare write that in a letter to Remus. Even though he felt it. He read the letter several times until he almost knew it by heart. He wished he could keep it and read it every time he missed Remus, but he dared not. He dared not risk having it lying around where someone could find it. It was very unlikely, but not impossible. So with a sigh he lit it on fire with his wand.

Sirius came into Regulus' room that evening and sat down on the bed. "I have a favour to ask of you."

“Yeah?” said Regulus, looking up from the book he was reading.

"I have somewhere to go tomorrow so I need you to cover for me so I can slip out unnoticed.

"Yeah? And where are you going this time?"

"I'm going on a date with a Muggle I met at a coffee shop," grinned Sirius.

Regulus dropped his book and stared at his brother. " _What_? Have you gone mental?"

"No. I figured I'd try it out. And it's just a cup of coffee, so what's the harm?"

"Just a cup of coffee? Since when have you had ‘just a cup of coffee’ on a date?"

"Well," grinned Sirius. "I don't know how it works with Muggles and I don’t even know if we will hit it off. She didn’t invite me to her place for that cup of coffee, but who knows. Maybe she will."

"You can't be serious! You can't date a Muggle! You might as well date a goblin or a house elf!"

"No, because this Muggle is a lot prettier than a goblin or a house elf," grinned Sirius. "So are you going to cover for me or not? I just want to see what it's like. You can just tell mother that I went to James' if she notices I’m gone. That way you won't get in trouble. Because that's what I told you."

"Sirius - if they find out, they're going to go mental! I don't even dare think about what they would do to you!"

"They won't find out," said Sirius. "And it's not like what _you’re_ doing is any better and you don't see me nagging you about your love life."

Regulus opened his mouth but nothing came out for a moment. "That... that's not the same. Remus is a wizard. And not even Muggleborn."

"But he’s a bloke," pointed Sirius out. "You're no better than me, little brother."

Regulus closed his eyes for a second. "Well, I dare not think about what they would do to me, either, if they found out..." He sighed. "Of course I'll cover for you, if there's no way I can persuade you not to do it."

**o0o0o**

Regulus barely slept that night; he was so uncomfortable and worried about what was going to happen the next day and his involvement in it. He would be an accessory. He hated to lie to his parents.

At three thirty, he found his mother in the parlour. "Mother? May I disturb for a moment?"

"You may, Regulus."

"I was wondering if you would help me with a difficult piece on the piano. I'm having difficulties with it."

She looked at him and put her book down. "Alright, I guess I can do that," she agreed and got up from her seat to follow him over to the piano.

Sirius saw his opportunity and snuck past the room and out the door.

At seven O'clock Sirius was not back yet, and Mrs. Black called for the boys to join her for dinner. It was not every day the family ate together, but of course she wished to do it today, Regulus thought bitterly. 

"Where is your brother?" she asked when they were both seated. Mr. Black was away for the weekend on a business trip. 

Regulus swallowed. "I don't know. I haven't seen him since breakfast."

"Kreacher - go find Sirius," ordered Mrs. Black. 

Kreacher came back ten minutes later. "Master Sirius is nowhere in the house," he announced. "Kreacher has looked everywhere, Mistress." 

Mrs. Black clenched her fists and tried to keep her temper at bay. So Sirius was out again without her permission. She would sit and wait for him in the lobby after dinner. 

At nine, Sirius finally walked through the front doors and was happy to see that no one was around. But as he walked past the door to the parlour, he heard his mother’s voice.

"So, you have been out without permission again?"

Sirius turned to see her stand in the doorway and he felt an icy chill go down his back. "Yeah, I did. I’m of age. I can make my own decisions," he said coolly and stuck his hands into his pockets.

"And this time you did not even have the decency of announcing it - you just snuck out, like a thief in the night." she continued, ignoring his comment.

"I wouldn't say I snuck out," said Sirius although that that was exactly what he had done. "I can come and go as I please. You don't have a thing to say in the matter." Seeing the expression on his mother’s face, he actually felt slightly nervous but none the less he stood his ground.

"You do _not_ come and go as you please," she hissed, stepping close to her son. "This is _my_ house, and as long as you're living under this roof you answer to ME!"

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Yeah? I do as I please! I even went on a date today!" he hissed and clenched his fists.

She looked at him in disbelief. "A  _date_? With who? That common girl you call your girlfriend?"

"No. I broke up with her months ago!" Without thinking twice, he blurted out. "I went on a date with a Muggle!"

Mrs. Black froze stiff for a long moment, her eyes bulging out. Then she swung her arm, slapping Sirius across the face so hard that the sound of the smack echoed throughout the hall. She stared at him, all colour drained from her face. "You insolent bastard! You horrible, horrible boy!" she nearly whispered. 

Sirius took a few steps back, his hand pressed to his burning cheek, his eyes watering up from the sting. "YOU’RE the horrible one!" he screamed at her. "It’s MY life! Not yours! And she was a nice girl! I might even see her again!" 

"IF YOU DO THAT YOU WILL BE DISOWNED!"

Regulus had stepped out on the landing, having heard the noise. It sounded even worse than usual. His mother's voice sounded like it was about to break from the strain. 

Sirius shut his mouth as he finally snapped out of his rage. He couldn't get himself kicked out of the house. Then Regulus would be alone and they would be free to influence him. "Fine!" he spat. "I won't see her again!"

Regulus stood frozen while Sirius ran up the stairs and slammed his door. Regulus knew better than to disturb him right now, so he called Kreacher instead to see if he had heard what had happened. The elf looked extremely upset when he appeared with a pop. 

"Kreacher, what happened?"

"Mistress is very upset," said Kreacher. "The horrible, horrible Master Sirius went on date with a Muggle, yes he did. Now Mistress is very angry and yelled at Kreacher also. The nasty boy tells it to her face, mocking my poor mistress!"

Regulus gasped. Sirius had told her? Had he gone completely mad? He marched to Sirius' room and hammered on the door. 

"Bugger off," it sounded from the other side. 

"NO, I want to talk to you!”

"Fine!"

Sirius lay on his bed as Regulus came into the room. His cheek still stung from the smack and he was in a very bad mood.

"What did you do? Did you tell her you had been out with a Muggle? Have you lost your marbles completely?"

"I didn’t think, okay?" snapped Sirius and sat up, revealing a bruise on the side of his head. "She makes me go mental with all her nagging!" His eyes were flaming but there was also hurt in them.

The sight of the red mark and the slight regret on Sirius' face calmed Regulus' anger a bit. He sat down on the bed. "I don't get you. You're creating half of these fights on purpose because you just can't keep your mouth shut. Why do you do it? Do you actually enjoy it? The excitement? Or what is it?"

"I don't know..." Sirius admitted and sighed. "She just makes me so angry that I want to hurt her, and I knew this would upset her so I just slung it at her without thinking." Sirius had now calmed down as well and sat with his head bent.

"Well, you will have to start thinking, Sirius. I heard the last part about disowning you.” Regulus looked angry, but in fact it had scared him more than anything. The word  _disown_  had never been spoken out loud before (at least not to the brothers) and the fact that she had said it now, it became a very real threat. 

"I know..." It was clear to Sirius that she meant it by the tone of her voice so he would have to be careful from now on. "I can’t wait to be back at Hogwarts," he then said, not lifting his gaze to look at his brother. "I don't belong in this house. I hate it here..."

Regulus sighed. "Yeah. I know."

"You must be dying to go back as well," Sirius smiled and looked up. "You and Remus. Getting serious, right?"

"What do you mean, serious?"

"I mean you are really into each other. That it's not just a fling like with most of my relationships. You two like each other a whole lot."

"Of course we like each other. Why else would we be together? Did you think I was just curious and wanted to know what having a boyfriend was like?"

Sirius shook his head. "No that’s not it. I guess I'm just a little jealous that my little brother found love and I'm still looking." He smiled. "Good for you Regulus. Very good."

" _Love_?" said Regulus as if it were an offensive word. "I never said love! I said  _like,_  not love."

"You don’t fool me, Reggie,” grinned Sirius. “It’s easy to see that you love him. Don’t worry – he feels the same way. He didn’t want to rest before he had written you that letter."

"I do not love him!" Regulus insisted, getting red ears and cheeks. "I don't!"

"Whatever you say," grinned Sirius. “You know... There is no shame in loving someone, even though that’s not something Mum and Dad have taught us."

Regulus left the room, both embarrassed and offended. He had barely entered his own room when a very distraught Kreacher appeared. He had tear in his eyes and looked both upset and angry. 

"Kreacher - what's wrong?"

"Mistress Black, she is crying! In the parlour. Evil Master Sirius breaks my mistress' heart!"

"I'll go see her," said Regulus and hurried down the stairs. He stopped at the entrance to the parlour, seeing his mother sit on a chair, dapping a handkerchief to her eyes. It made him very uncomfortable seeing her vulnerable like this. He could only remember ever having seen her cry once in his life. 

"Mother?" he said, waking tentatively closer to her.

"Oh... Regulus," she said and quickly dried her eyes. "Yes, yes, come in." She put the handkerchief down on a small table next to her and looked up at him. "I am so pleased that I at least have one good son. Your brother has brought shame on this family."

Regulus stepped closer and put a hesitant hand on her shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. “Sirius will come around. He's just... He's just immature."

"I have given him so many chances,” sighed Mrs. Black. “He should find a nice pure-blood girl to marry but he runs around with filth instead."

"I'm sure he will come around," repeated Regulus, feeling guilty about his own relationship. "He will. He’s just saying these things because he likes to provoke you, Mother. It’s probably not even true that he met with a Muggle. He just wanted to shock you.

"You really think so?" She looked relieved at first but then angry. "He should be locked in the basement for hurting me! For a week without food!"

"No! No, Mother, please!" said Regulus. "He's sorry already. I just spoke to him. He's calm now. He just has a temper, you know that. And he forgets to think. Please don't lock him in the basement, it will only make things worse." He swallowed, scared that he had overstepped his boundaries by giving his Mother advice, although he had spoken politely. 

"I will discuss this with your father when he comes home. He hurt my severely so he should be punished," she said in a strict tone. "I am not to just letting him off with a slap and you should not meddle in this matter, Regulus. If he were sorry then he would have told me so himself."

Regulus didn't dare say anything else that could be interpreted as talking back. When he came back up, he marched into his brother's room. "There. You made Mother cry - happy now?" he said angrily. 

"It’s probably just for show," Sirius said, massaging his red cheek.

"It is not for show! When have you ever seen her cry? She doesn't show weakness. I only found out because Kreacher told me. She is truly upset and you should not speak to her in such a harsh way. She _is_ your mother. You must have _some_ kind of empathy for her."

"Empathy? When has she ever had empathy for me?" hissed Sirius and got up from the bed. "When she beats me? When she and Father locks me in the basement for a week with nothing but water and dry bread? Is that empathy? _I think not!_ "

"She might do it again if you're not careful! I think I talked her out of it, but she still said she would discuss it with Father. Please, Sirius, go apologise. I don't want them locking you up again!" Regulus was terrified that if this conflict escalated more, that either Sirius would get enough and leave or he would be thrown out. 

"She won't believe me if I do," said Sirius. "But alright... I'll do it for you if it's so important."

"She will," said Regulus, feeling relief rush over him. "And even if she doesn't believe it she will still recognise the gesture."

"Fine," said Sirius and went for the door.

"Mother?" he said in his most polite voice as he found her sitting in her chair. He straighten his back and tried to look as decent as possible. "I'm sorry for the way I acted," he said and felt sick by his own words, as if they tasted badly.

She looked at him in surprise. She couldn't remember when she had last got an apology from her oldest son. "You're apologising? For lying to me about that... Muggle, or for talking to me the way you did?"

Sirius looked at her. So she thought it was a lie? Maybe that was for the best. "Both, Mother. I'm sorry."

She drew a small sigh of relief and then nodded. "Alright. Apology accepted. You may go."

Sirius nodded and headed back to his room. He was surprised how easy that had been. He also decided that it was probably best not to see Christine again.

"Kreacher," called Mrs. Black. "Make sure to give Regulus a special treat. I know he is the one who talked sense into his brother."

The house elf bowed and hurried down to the kitchen to prepare a tray of sweets for Regulus that he took to his room. "Young Master?" the elf called and pushed the door open with his foot as both his hands were full. "Master Regulus? Mistress told Kreacher to bring young Master a special treat for talking sense into Master Sirius."

"Oh... Well, thank you," said Regulus and took the tray. He did not really feel like eating , but he didn't want to upset Kreacher by not taking it. Also, it was so rare that he got any sort of praise or reward from his mother. 

The elf smiled up at Regulus and then headed back down the stairs to finish the rest of his chores before bedtime.

"I’m glad you got praised," sounded Sirius' voice, and Regulus turned his head spotting his brother leaning against the doorframe to his own room. "At least something good came out of it."

"I don't want it," said Regulus, putting the tray down on a small table in the hallway. "I'm not benefitting from your bad behaviour. Take it if you want it, or vanish it if you don't. I don't want Kreacher to see that I didn't eat it," he said and went into his room, closing the door behind him. 

Sirius looked at the closed door for a moment and then went over to take the tray. "Would be a shame to waste it," he said and popped a sweet into his mouth before taking the rest to his room.

**o0o0o**

There was peaceful in the house for about a week until the subject of girls was once again brought up at the dinner table.

"So," said Orion, throwing a glance at his oldest son. "Your mother tells me you have broken up with your Gryffindor girlfriend?"

Sirius didn’t look up as his father spoke to him. "Yes. But I plan on finding a new girlfriend once I return to school."

"One of proper heritage, I hope. You are of age now and only have another year in school. After that, you will be expected to marry, so you might as well start looking. As far as I can understand, you do not socialise with Slytherins at all. Is that not correct, Regulus?" he asked, turning his gaze to his youngest son. He knew that if he wanted the truth, Regulus was the one to ask.

"Yes..."

"Well, perhaps it is time to leave this childish behaviour behind you," said Mr. Black, looking at Sirius.

"I will not associate with Slytherins!" spat Sirius and finally looked at his father. "And I will not be forced into marriage either. I will find a bird that I like and marry her in time when I see it fit. And she will be as she is. Half-blood. Pure-blood. Even Muggleborn if that's how it's going to be. I don't care if you approve!" He slammed his fork down on his plate and crossed his arms, leaning back in his seat and moping.

"You ungrateful... disrespectful..." hissed Mrs. Black, clutching the cutlery hard in her hands. 

"You will grow up and realise your responsibility to this family!" said Orion in a loud authoritative voice. "You are lucky we don't just chose a bride for you! You may find your own, as long as she lives up to a certain standard! We are even willing to accept a Ravenclaw, as long as she is pure-blood."

"You and your stupid pure-blood policy! I will marry someone I love! I'm the one who has to live with her!" 

"How you turned out as such a spoiled brat, I have no idea!" said Walburga, sending daggers at her son. "You are born into such privilege. Most wizards would give anything to be the Black heir but you act as if it's just a nuisance!"

"You put so high expectations on me that I can barely avoid going against them!" snapped Sirius. "I want to live my own life! Not have you decide what is right or wrong for me! I decide what I want! ME!" He stomped his foot on the floor, making the table shake.

Mr. Black, who was usually the one to keep his temper a bay, jumped to his feet, pointing a finger at his son. "I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU! GO TO YOUR ROOM AND STAY THERE UNTIL YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE DECIDED WHAT TO DO ABOUT YOU!"

Sirius glared at his father and had to restrain himself from talking back. Then he marched off and up the stairs, slamming his door shut as loudly as possible.

"I have _had_ it with him," said Orion as he sat back down. "He needs to be taught a lesson!"

Regulus sat there barely daring to breathe. What would happen now? His father had lost his temper now as well. Things were going to turn very ugly if Sirius didn't do some drastic changing.

"I’m considering the Cruciatus curse," she said. "That would make that little bastard understand that we mean business."

"N-no," gasped Regulus before he could stop himself. 

They both turned to look at him, seeming to have forgotten he was there. 

"Please don’t!"

"This is none of your concern, Regulus," said Mrs. Black. "You just be glad that you're such a good son that we won't need to use it on you. Even though you were sorted into Gryffindor, you still maintained suitable and respectable friends. Not like Sirius who doesn’t seem to understand how his image reflects on us."

"But, Mother, the Cruciatus..." whispered Regulus. 

"Didn't you hear what your mother said, boy?" snapped Mr. Black. "Go to your room so we can talk."

Regulus grudgingly got up and left. 

"That boy is too soft, Walburga," Mr. Black grumbled. "I've said it before. We have one punk and one sissy."

Mrs. Black did not comment on Regulus. "What are we to do about Sirius?"

"I honest to Merlin don't know," sighed Orion. "The problem is that he's come of age and can leave home if he wants to. If we push him too far he might just do just that. I'm afraid his status as a Black is not very important to him, so he might be willing to give that up."

"That’s true," she sighed. "I just want to see him suffer right now and if we don't do anything, then he thinks he can behave as he pleases." She furrowed her eyebrows. "He told me last week that he had dated a Muggle. I’m sure he only said it to hurt me, but he said it."

Mr. Black eyed her in shock. "He did _what_? He's running amok! If he doesn't shape up we will have to disown him. We cannot let him bring that sort of shame to the family!"

"I agree," she nodded. "But he apologised to me and I said it was okay and he has been behaving the past week.” She called for Kreacher. "Clean up. We are done here. And no food for Sirius until the morning!"

"If he doesn't marry a decent pure-blood, then we must disown him, Walburga," said Mr. Black. "Fortunately we do have a spare. At least we can count on Regulus, so it’s not the end of the world if we do have to disown Sirius. However scandalous it would be."

"Yes, we have Regulus” nodded Walburga. “He will do his duty. He always does as he is told.”

**o0o0o**

Regulus did not go to his own room as he was told, but stomped into his brother's room. "Why are you such an idiot?" he said angrily. "Do you know they are talking about crucioing you? And I bet the word 'disown' came up again after I was sent away!"

"Go ahead and yell at me as well," Sirius snapped. "It’s not enough that they do it constantly! I am so sick and tired of this fucking house and most of the people in it." He turned to look at his brother. "At least you don't have them nagging about getting you married with some stupid pure-blood bird every time we sit down for dinner!" His face had turned red with rage and frustration. "I can't wait until you turn seventeen so I can leave."

"Well, don't stay on my account! You're not making my life easier by sticking around when you keep stirring up trouble! And don't you think they'll start on me soon enough with the marrying?"

"Probably," sighed Sirius. "A few more weeks and we will be back at Hogwarts."

"Yeah, so why can't you just suck it up and play nice for a few weeks? It isn't that hard. I do it all the time!"

"Because they won't leave me alone!" said Sirius and got up from his seat. "They keep going at me about everything I do, so how am I supposed to just take it and sit and smile and nod?"

"Just do it! Just stop talking back every time they say something! Stall them! When they talk about marriage, just say you would like to finish school before you start thinking about it seriously. How damn hard can that be? Honestly, sometimes I wonder how you can make top grades with no effort when you can be so thick."

Sirius looked very offended by Regulus’ words but he could see a point in what he said. "Fine! I'll make a damn effort if that makes you happy!"

Regulus left without another word, with only a small hope that his brother would actually be able to keep his promise.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 – “You’re on Our Team”**

Regulus couldn't hide a slight smile when he saw Remus standing on the platform with his parents and James. Sirius and James hugged as if they had been apart for a year, and Regulus and Remus just said, "Hi." Regulus followed the Marauders into a compartment and found himself very annoyed with the other three for being there so he couldn't kiss Remus. 

Remus patted the seat next to him for Regulus to sit. Peter, however, was about to take the seat, which resulted in Regulus shoving him out of the way.

"Excuse me," snapped Peter and glared at Regulus before sitting down next to Sirius. "I forgot that you also had to be here."

"Oh, you did, did you? I wish I had forgotten you," said Regulus and sat down next to Remus. Polaris hissed in his crate.

Peter stuck his tongue out and crossed his arms as he leaned back in his seat, looking extremely sullen.

"Lads, lads," said Sirius. "Relax. We’re on our way back to Hogwarts. Things couldn't be any better."

"Yeah they could, if he would go find his own seat," mumbled Peter and sent Regulus another glare.

"It's not your seat!" growled Regulus. He let Polaris out and placed the big cat on his lap. It gave a hiss in Peter's direction and then turned to rub its forehead against Remus' shoulder, purring.

"Why does that bloody cat hate me?" asked Peter. "I never did anything to him."

Sirius turned to James to tell him about his date with the Muggle. "My mum almost disowned me for that one, so I haven't seen her since," he grinned.

Regulus was just about to lecture Sirius about how "funny" it would have been to be disowned, but then felt Remus close his warm hand around his and the words fell off his lips. 

Remus turned his head and looked at Regulus, completely forgetting the others and not listening to Sirius' tale about his escapade. All he could focus on was the boy next to him and how good it felt to finally see him again.

"Reggie got me to apologise," said Sirius. "I reckon I can thank him for not being thrown out on my arse."

"You could just have come and lived with me," said James. "You know you're always welcome. I don't get why you still live in that horrible house."

"Because it's his home, Potter," interrupted Regulus. "It's his home and his family."

Sirius looked at Regulus, feeling dumbstruck for once. "Well I..." he started and looked back at James. “I might consider it next year, but for now I'm staying. No need to run off when we spend most of our time at the school anyway."

Remus looked nervously from one brother to the other. He knew why Sirius stayed. He did it to protect Regulus. He was the only reason Sirius would have anything to do with his family at all. Remus was actually surprised that James didn't know. Or didn’t care.

"You have a duty to your family that you can't just ignore," said Regulus.

"We’ll just see about that," barked Sirius.

"Lads - let's not start this again," begged Remus and gave Regulus' hand a squeeze. "There is a whole other year at Hogwarts. Who knows how things look when we graduate?"

Regulus took a deep breath but then chose to let it go. He didn't want to ruin his good mood. It just really got to him when Sirius talked about their private family matters this disrespectfully in front of the others. It was not their business. 

When the train arrived at Hogsmeade, Regulus deliberately took his time gathering his things. Remus took it slow as well so they were the last two to leave the compartment.

"I was thinking..." whispered Regulus while purposefully fumbling with the fastenings to Polaris' crate, “of going you-know-where directly from the feast."

Remus smiled. "I'd love to.” 

"Brilliant. I'll go first."

**o0o0o**

Regulus did not really enjoy the feast; it was just something he had to get over with. As soon as he had wolfed down a piece of treacle tart for dessert, he excused himself, explaining that he wanted an early night. 

Remus stayed behind a good ten minutes before excusing himself as well, and he walked quietly through the Great Hall trying to look like he wasn’t eager to get somewhere. As soon as he was out of sight he broke into a run and hurried up to the seventh floor. He took a quick look around to make sure he was alone before he entered the Room.

Regulus wrapped his arms around him as soon as he had stepped through door and buried his face in his neck, inhaling his scent in deep breaths. He had missed him so much it hurt, and finally they could be alone together again. 

Remus kissed the top of Regulus’ head before burying his face in the soft locks. "I missed you," he said and gave him a squeeze. "It's been torture not to see you for so long."

Regulus just nodded. Remus was so much better at expressing his feelings. After a minute he stepped back and looked him up and down. "You look well." 

"You think?" smiled Remus. "Well, luckily I had a week to recover from the last full moon before term start." He gave Regulus a soft kiss. "You look well too. I hope your time at home was okay despite Sirius acting out."

"Well... It wasn't the most fun I've ever had," said Regulus as he removed his robes, tossing them on the floor. “But that’s in the past now.”

Remus smiled and stepped up to Regulus, starting to undo his shirt buttons as he pressed their lips together in a sweet slow kiss.

**o0o0o**

Regulus woke early the next morning. The first few seconds, he didn't know where he was, but then he spotted Remus lying next to him. Regulus studied him for a moment. He was sleeping so peacefully, without the usual hint of worry on his face. He reached out and let his fingers run through the tousled tawny hair. 

Remus moved a little in his sleep. He cuddled into Regulus and let his fingers gently dance on his hip. Realising that Remus had probably woken up, Regulus suddenly stopped. What would Remus think about him, stroking his hair while he slept? A little soppy romantic, wasn't it?

"Mm... don't stop," mumbled Remus and nuzzled into Regulus’ neck. It felt so nice having him gently stroke his hair. It made him relax and just forget everything but Regulus.

Regulus hesitated but then took up the activity. "You have bed hair," he mumbled. 

"Mm... but you like my hair," Remus smiled with his eyes closed.

"You have high thoughts of yourself, mister," said Regulus. "But yeah, I suppose I do like your hair."

"I like yours too," smiled Remus and moved his hand up to Regulus' silky locks and gently ran his fingers through them. "Too bad we can't do this every morning," he said and planted a kiss on Regulus’ neck.

"Yes," sighed Regulus. "But I’m grateful for what I can get. It's nice being back. Wasn't much fun at home, as you can imagine. Like living in a war zone."

"I can imagine," said Remus. "But don’t worry. I’m sure Sirius won’t move out until you’re of age."

"Well, what difference does he expect that will make?" snorted Regulus. "They will still have the same expectations of me, even when I come of age. And if Sirius doesn't do as expected - honour the family and marry a proper girl - then the pressure on me will be doubled."

"Would... would you get married if they asked you to? I mean... would you leave me in order to uphold the family honour?" He felt a sting to his heart just thinking about losing Regulus. A part of him had hoped that when he came of age he would move out and be with him.

Regulus felt his throat thicken. This was something he had not allowed himself to think about. "It's not a question of  _if._  They will expect it of me whether Sirius marries well or not. But if he does marry well and soon, then I suppose I won't be pushed into hurrying up with it."

Remus was quiet for a moment, just worrying the raven locks between his fingers. "I guess I always hoped you wouldn't," he mumbled. "But I don’t like to think about it."

"Me either. I wish it wasn't so, I really do. It's not a bed of roses being born into a noble family, you know. Sometimes I actually envy regular wizards. Even half-bloods. Can you believe that?"

"I understand," said Remus. He turned the other boy’s face to look into his eyes. "Regulus… When the time comes, I hope that you will choose me. I can't imagine loosing you ever. Being apart for two months was hard enough.”

"I hadn't... haven't really thought about it yet, because I don't like to. I can't imagine being married. It was horrible enough being Emmeline’s boyfriend. And we barely did anything. But... it's my duty. Especially if Sirius lets the family down."

"I guess," said Remus. "But I still hope you will reconsider, because there’s nothing I want more than to be with you. Seeing you with Emmeline was bad, and seeing you married would just kill me." He gave Regulus a gentle kiss on the forehead. "But I won't pressure you. You have enough of that already."

Regulus was quiet for a moment. "Perhaps... If you still like me when that time comes, we could keep seeing each other. You know, as long as things look good on the surface it might be all right. As long as we aren’t caught. I know it wouldn't be the first time something like that happened in the family, even though it’s hushed up. When you don't marry for love, then I suppose these things are bound to happen."

"I suppose that’s an option," said Remus, although not liking the idea of having to sneak around behind Regulus’ wife’s back.

"You would still see me when I'm married?" asked Regulus surprised. Somehow he couldn't imagine Remus doing something so immoral.

"I wouldn't be able to let you go," said Remus. "But I would much prefer you not getting married. Can’t you convince your parents that you need some life experience before thinking about marriage?”

Regulus bit his lower lip. "Let's not talk about it anymore. It’s in the future. I don’t want to worry about it now.”

“I suppose you’re right,” sighed Remus and pulled Regulus close.

"When do you think is a good time to go back? When the others are having breakfast?" Thankfully, it was Sunday and therefore no lessons. 

Remus checked his watch. “Breakfast is over in half an hour. Should we skip it?”

"No, I'm hungry, so we better get back. At least I do. I'll go first, yes?"

"Yeah. Sounds like an idea," said Remus and sat up, running a hand through his messy hair. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and picked up his clothes.

"Don't come down," said Regulus, straightening his robes. "It might draw someone's attention that we're both coming later than the others. I'll bring you back some food. What would you like?"

"Just some toast."

"That won't put any meat on your bones," said Regulus, running his gaze up and down Remus who hadn't fully dressed yet. "You're too thin. All the exhausting transformations, I suppose. You should look better after yourself."

Remus looked down himself. His ribs were very visible indeed. "Well... I suppose you're right," he nodded. "Bring me back something you think will do me good, then."

**o0o0o**

Regulus hurried up along the table towards his brother and his friends. Unfortunately he passed a few of his dorm mates on the way and Nigel said, "Hi, Regulus. Where were you last night? Why didn't you sleep in the dorm?"

"Keep your voice down," snarled Regulus.

"Off to spend the night with his secret bird again," said Vane, another dorm mate.

They had asked Regulus about this a few times when he had spent the night in the Room with Remus. He had not confirmed it but had not denied it either. It suited him fine if they thought he had a secret girlfriend that he went off to see.

"I thought you couldn't go to the girls’ dormitories," said Nigel a little puzzled.

"They find a different place to meet up, you twat," said Brown, rolling his eyes.

"Sleep well?" asked Sirius as Regulus dropped down beside him. He looked around for Remus but couldn’t see him anywhere.

"Yes, thank you," said Regulus crisply and started piling fried potatoes onto his plate. He had quite an appetite. "I was tired. I needed a good long sleep."

"Get a lot of sleep there, Reggie?" teased James. 

"Don't call me Reggie!"

**o0o0o**

Much to Regulus' regret, Barty caught up with him as he left the Great Hall. 

"Why didn't you come to visit me during the summer?" Barty asked crossly.

Regulus had received several invitations and letters from Barty but had made up an excuse every time, even ignoring some of the letters. He had no wish to see Barty or even be his friend any more. He did not like who he had become. "I'm sorry. I was busy."

Barty crossed his arms. "Busy with what? You always just sit at home all summer. Or did your twat of a brother bring you to his mates’ houses to hang out with them instead of me? You hardly even answered my letters. I thought you had the decency to do so at least."

"I answered all your letters," lied Regulus. "Not my fault if your owl is getting unreliable and needs retirement."

"There has never been a problem with my owl!" growled Barty. "It’s you who’s the problem, apparently. You used to visit me every summer but ever since you started hanging around with that lot, I haven’t seemed to be a priority to you! You're turning into a real Gryffindor, alright. Apparently I'm not good enough anymore. I stuck my neck out for you with the other Slytherins, and this is how you repay me?"

"Well, I appreciate that," said Regulus. "But I must admit, we do seem to be growing apart, don't you agree? All you can talk about is you-know-who, and frankly it's getting a bit tiresome. I don't find him all that interesting."

Barty went pale and his eyes widened. "So that's what you think, is it? The Dark Lord is _boring_ you?" He stared at Regulus for a moment, then narrowed his eyes and growled, "How dare you talk like that? _How dare you?_ Well, go back to your traitorous and Muggle-loving pals! You and me – we’re DONE!" With a last poisonous glare, Barty spun around and marched off towards the dungeons.

Regulus sighed. In a way he was relieved that he had finally broken it off with Barty, but he also knew this was going to mean trouble with the other Slytherins. He would have to be careful and not give them a chance to catch him on his own.

Remus smiled at Regulus when he came to his dorm with the food he had promised. When Regulus sat down on the edge of his bed, Remus noticed the expression on his face. "Is something wrong? Did something happen at breakfast?"

 “No. Here's your food," said Regulus, handing Remus a plate loaded with eggs, bacon, sausages and fried tomatoes. There was no way he was going to tell about the difficulties he might be in. He wasn't going to run to his boyfriend, blabbing about his problems. 

**o0o0o**

"What's with you?" asked Mulciber when a very disgruntle l Barty dropped into an armchair next to him and Avery.

"It's Regulus!" said Barty, clenching his fists. "He said he didn't want to be my friend anymore. Said I spend too much time talking about The Dark Lord."

" _What_?" said Avery incredulously. "Talking too much about the Dark Lord? What kind of disrespect is that?"

"I’m so mad at him!" said Barty. "And I had so much faith in him being on our side and sharing our enthusiasm for the Dark Lord."

"Well, the rest of us always had our suspicions that he wasn’t a true supporter," said Mulciber. 

"He said the subject was boring him," said Barty. 

"Boring? The Dark Lord _boring?_ " Avery growled.

Mulciber was equally outraged. "Only a Gryffindor could be arrogant enough to talk like that. He should be punished!”

“He will be,” said Avery. “We’ll find a way of doing it without getting in trouble for it.”

**o0o0o**

"I’ve just had the most brilliant idea!" exclaimed James as he returned from a meeting with the prefects and found the others in the common room.

"Yeah? What?" asked Peter, looking excited as always when James had a new idea.

"We are going to play football!"

Remus looked up from his book with a surprised expression on his face.

"What's football?" asked Sirius.

"It’s a Muggle sport," said Remus and put his book down. "But how did you come up with that idea, Prongs?"

"Well, all Muggles love it - it's like Quidditch in the Muggle world. If they love it so much, there must be something fun about it."

"Yes!” agreed Peter. "I have heard that too. I've always wanted to play!"

"Don't you mean you’ve wanted to play since Potter just suggested it?" asked Regulus sardonically. 

Peter shot daggers at Regulus.

"Well, I'm sure it would be loads of fun!" beamed Sirius and got up from his seat. "So, how many do we need to play foodball?"

"Football," corrected Remus.

"What positions are there?" asked James eagerly. "Do you know the rules, Moony? They kick a ball around, yeah?"

"Well, there’s a goalkeeper on each team and a lot of chasers. Only, they’re called something else. I only watched a few matches with my mum on the telly at home so I don’t know all the rules, but yes, you pretty much just kick a ball around and try to score."

"Wait a minute - you kick a ball around?" Sirius asked. "Like just kick it?"

Remus nodded.

"Wouldn't it be easier to pick it up and throw it around?"

"That would take the whole foot out of football."

Regulus could not help curiously listening to the conversation although pretending to read his copy of _Advanced Potion-Making_. He was not going to give the impression that he gave a toss about a stupid Muggle sport.

"So you can't touch it? What about the Beaters? Do they hit flying balls or -"

"No, you dolt!" laughed James.” They don't have flying balls! Muggles don't have magic!"

"Right," said Sirius and scratched his neck.

"There is only one ball," said Remus. "And you have to steal it from the other team and try to score a goal."

"How do they kick a ball through a ring? It’s much easier to throw it," insisted Sirius.

"The goal is a square and larger than a Quidditch hoop. It makes it a bit easier."

"So basically it's just Chasers and a Keeper?" asked James. 

"I think so," said Remus. "But we do need to find more players since we won't have much fun with just the four of us."

"Well, we’re five, aren't we, Reggie?" said Sirius. 

"Excuse me?" said Regulus, lowering his book. "Are you seriously under the impression that I would degrade myself to playing a bleeding Muggle game?"

Sirius rolled his eyes "For a moment there I forgot what a wet blanket you are. So we’re only four it would seem."

"We also need to get a ball of some sort," said Remus.

"We can just transfigure a Quaffle," said James. "You do that, Moony. You know how they're supposed to look, yes?"

**o0o0o**

They managed to find four more people: Frank Longbottom, Nigel, Shafiq and her boyfriend Nate Larsson, who was Muggleborn and knew the rules quite well. Very excited they headed off to the pitch, Regulus trailing along to watch.

Remus had transfigured a Quaffle into something that looked like a football. At least it was round and a bit softer than the Quaffle. They divided into two teams: Sirius, Remus, Frank and Shafiq on one team; James, Peter, Larsson and Nigel on the other. Peter was placed in one of the goals and Shafiq in the other.

"Remember: no touching the ball with your hands," said Larsson as he placed the ball midway between the two goals.

James made the first move, kicking the ball hard. It propelled high into the air and landed just a few feet from him. Sirius charged, nearly knocking James over. They both kicked at the ball like crazy but it didn’t move much forward; instead it got shot into the air several times. Finally James managed to kick it away from Sirius and in the right direction. Shafiq, who was waiting in the goal, ran for the ball. Seeing James coming at her full speed, she threw herself at the ball and curled around it shielding it with her body. 

"Is that even allowed?" asked Nigel. "I thought we couldn't touch the ball."

"The goal keeper can," explained Larsson as Shafiq got up and dusted off the ball.

Eying her chance, Shafiq raced towards the other goal, the ball still in her hands. When she was half way there, she threw it right past Peter’s ear. 

"WUHU! GOAL!" hooted Sirius. Longbottom gave Shafiq a high 5. 

"That's not allowed!" protested Larsson and crossed his arms. "That goal doesn’t count."

"What?" barked Sirius and looked at Larsson in disbelief. "You're just a sore loser!"

"Actually, it's not allowed," said Remus, backing up Larsson. "She can block the ball from going into the goal and she can pick it up but she can't run with it."

Sirius’ jaw dropped as he gawked at Remus. "You're on _our_ team! You should be thrilled instead of taking away our goal!"

"Those are the rules!" said Larsson. "Otherwise the goalie would have superpowers." 

"That blows!" barked Shafiq. "You're just making it up because you're on the other team!"

"Remus agrees with me and he is on your team!" replied Larsson offendedly.

"Well, we will just have to score another one, then," said Sirius and kicked the ball into the goal again.

"You're not allowed to shoot that close to the goal!" yelled Larsson exasperatedly. "That doesn't count either. Ten yards is the closest. Look," he said and pulled out his wand. "I'll draw a white line to mark the limit.” 

Frustrated, Sirius threw his hands into the air and walked further away from the goal. "All these rules. Quidditch is much simpler."

Sirius' team were given the ball and Sirius started running up the field, kicking the ball in front of him. The opposing team chased him and James came in from the side, ramming into him, knocking both of them over. Sirius tumbled to the ground, the ball rolling ahead. Frank ran for the ball but Nigel threw himself at him and wrapped both arms around his waist, trying to hold him back.

Remus stopped and shook his head as he watched the four players struggle. "You're not supposed to touch each other."

Regulus watched the scene in front of him with raised eyebrows. It was pitiful to see them acting like idiots, rolling around in the dirt trying to get a stupid ball. At least Remus carried himself with some dignity.

"We’re not allowed to touch each other?" asked James. "How are you supposed to get the ball away from the others, then?"

"You try to steal it with your foot without touching!" answered Nate. 

"Oh. That sounds difficult."

They finally seemed to get the hang of the game after about twenty minutes, but then Longbottom stopped. "You know - even though this is loads of fun I really need to get back. I have a ton of homework that needs doing."

"Ah, come on, Frank!" said James. "We've just got going! Just an hour more?"

"No, I want to get working."

Sirius moped and sat down on the grass. "And I just got the hang of it!" Then he spotted his brother and a smirk curled on his lips. "Hey Reggie! Come on and join us. It's loads of fun!"

Regulus scoffed. "Rolling around in the dirt like some common Muggle? I think not."

"You don't mind getting dirty when you play Quidditch," replied his brother. 

Regulus opened his mouth but didn't really know what to reply. "That... that's different! It only happens when the weather is bad and if I crash, which I don’t do often, since I can control my broom quite well."

"You're just afraid we'll knock your tiny body over," grinned Peter.

Regulus clenched his teeth, getting to his feet. "I’m only afraid of _you_ falling on top of me and suffocating me with all your blubber!"

Sirius couldn't help but snicker a bit at his brother’s remark. 

Peter' eyes went ablaze and he yelled, "Oh yeah? Think your tiny frail body can handle a sport like this? You're just scared that you can't figure out how to play!"

Regulus was exceptionally fast, not just on his broom, and before Peter could barely register it, he stood right in front of him, just a foot from his face. Peter gulped and took a few steps back, cowering under the younger Black's burning gaze. "Say that again, rodent-face, I dare you!"

"You... you don’t know how to play," Peter gulped and looked over at Sirius for support, but the other Black just stood watching.

Regulus whipped out his wand and touched it to Peter's throat. "And what was it you said about my body?" he hissed. 

It was clear that Peter was scared now. His eyes were flickering and he swallowed several times. 

"Alright, take it easy, little brother," said Sirius, finally stepping in. "You want to prove him wrong?"

Remus stepped up beside Regulus, putting a calming hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure Peter didn’t mean anything by it,” he said and shot Peter a placating glance.

"Whatever..." mumbled Peter, stepping away quickly. He looked a mixture of resentful and relieved. 

Regulus irritably shook Remus' hand off his shoulder, then looked at his brother. "You think I'm afraid I can't play this rotten game as well as you? Well, I'll prove it, if that’ll get you off my back!"

Sirius grinned in triumph. "I’m not the one who said you couldn’t, but I'd love to see you prove Peter wrong. You'll be taking Longbottom's place so you're on my team along with Shafiq and Remus."

"Fine," said Regulus, and walked down to the other half of the court. It did, in fact, suit him fine to be on that team. It was opposite James (who was not his favourite person), Peter (who he hated), Larsson (who was a stupid Mudblood) and Nigel (who was just plain annoying). 

Regulus found that this game did not require much power and muscle but rather speed and agility, so he was actually quite good at it. He found it easier to control the movement of the ball than the others (except Larsson, who had probably played many times with his Muggle friends back home).

Remus tried his best but found himself not being very good at this sport. He was close to falling over the ball a few times and he kicked the ground more times than the ball, but suddenly he found himself on a roll, heading towards the opposite goal with the ball under decent control. However, James was there in an instant, ramming him with his shoulder, making him topple over. 

It was not a very rough fall (compared to the ones Sirius and James had both taken several of) but Regulus was there in an instant, yelling at James. "What's the matter with you? Don't you realise he's just been ill?"

"It wasn't that hard," James replied, but still looked down at Remus a little uncertainly. "You alright, mate?"

"Yeah," said Remus and got to his feet, dusting himself off. "I’m alright."

"See? He's fine," said James.

"Well, you broke the rules. We should get a penalty shot. Right, Larsson?" asked Regulus, momentarily forgetting that he did not think much of Larsson. 

"That's right," said Larsson. "There is a penalty shot for Remus."

"Me? Can’t someone else do it," said Remus nervously.

“You lads chose who kicks,” said Larsson.

"I think Remus should do it,” said Sirius and kicked the ball over to Remus who stopped it with his foot. “You’re the one who earned it.”

"Can't you do it? Or Regulus?" Remus pleaded.

"You can do it, Moony," grinned Sirius and slapped him on the back. "Just kick it and hope that Wormtail won’t stop it."

"Aim high, or you don't have a chance," said Regulus to Remus, sending Peter a snide glance. 

Remus gulped and took a few steps back before running up to the ball and kicking it as hard as he could. To his astonishment he saw the ball fly into the goal, just out of Peter's reach. His teammates hooted and cheered and Sirius slapped him so hard on the back that he got a coughing fit.

Apart from the row with Peter, Regulus had to admit that he actually had quite a good time playing. Not that he was going to say it aloud. They played for another half hour before they decided that it was enough for the day.

"We should do this again!" grinned Sirius and swung an arm around Regulus. "And I'm having Reggie on my team." 

 “Of course you are, otherwise you would lose,” said Regulus.

"Would not!" said Sirius and stuck his tongue.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 – “I Don’t Want People Fighting My Battles”**

A Wednesday in October Regulus sat reading in the common room when Remus came back from his last lesson of the day: Care of Magical Creatures. He dumped into a chair next to Regulus, sighing and wiping sweat and dirt off his brow. When Regulus eyed him inquiringly, Remus explained, “Kettleburn released a load of dugbogs and gave us the task to catch them. And well… dugbogs like mud and don’t come quietly.”

"You look like you could use a shower," said Regulus. "Or a good long bath. There's that lovely bathtub in the prefects' bathroom, I hear. I'd go there tonight if I were you. If only _I_ were a prefect…” he sighed, looking Remus straight in the eyes. 

"Yes," said Remus, getting the hint. “I might just do that. In ten minutes or so I will go, I think."

"Why are you telling me? I don't care about your personal hygiene," said Regulus. "I think I'll go read in the library for a bit."

Ten minutes later, Remus left for the prefects’ bathroom. He hoped that Regulus would meet him there. Remus slowed down when he turned the corner to the corridor of the bathroom and spotted a Ravenclaw student standing by the entrance. He didn't recognise the boy because his hood was up. "Hello?" Remus said as he walked towards him.

The person turned and looked up and down the corridor. Seeing there was nobody there, he pushed back his hood a bit to reveal his face. "I transfigured the house colours on my robes so I wouldn’t be recognised."

A broad smile spread on Remus’ lips when he realised it was Regulus. "That's brilliant!" He took a look around as well before giving the secret entrance the password. He gently pushed Regulus inside and closed the door behind them.

Regulus stopped in his tracks. "Blimey! It's brilliant!" he gasped, admiring the large bathroom. "Show me around!"

Remus smiled and took his hand, leading him over to the huge tub (more like a swimming pool, in fact) in the middle of the room.

"This is the tub. It can be filled with seven kinds of bubbles and soap in different colours and smells. It's really great to just sit in and relax." He turned on the faucets and different colours started to appear on the water as huge bubbles rose slowly towards the ceiling.

Regulus walked a bit around looking at the other facilities. There were showers as well, a sauna and several Jacuzzis in different shapes. "I think I'll have a go at the tub first." He dropped his robes and clothes and couldn't hide a smirk as he turned to see Remus gawking at him. 

Remus blushed and quickly shed his own clothes. "We can stay here and try the sauna and Jacuzzi as well if you like," he smiled and slipped into the hot water.

"Sounds good," said Regulus and followed Remus into the giant tub. "I don't have any other plans tonight."

The water was scalding hot, to the point where it was almost painful at first. 

Remus pulled Regulus close, caressing his back with his slim fingers. "The water should be okay in a minute," he said and kissed his mouth.

"Mm..." hummed Regulus contently into Remus' mouth. "It's fine. Just need to adjust."

The bath salts were simmering pleasantly, tinkling their bodies as they moved close together and wrapped their arms around each other, close to weightless in the water

Remus walked backwards until his leg hit the ledge at the side of the tub, and he sat down on it, pulling Regulus onto his lap. Remus let out a soft gasp as he felt how hard the other boy was. He let his hands slide down his slender body and grabbed a hold on his buttocks, pulling him as close as possible.

"Ah!" gasped Regulus as he folded his knees, straddling Remus' lap and their cocks came into direct contact. He kissed him again and pushed his hips forward, harder against Remus. 

"Mm..." Remus hummed, liking how Regulus took charge. He kept a firm hold on his buttocks and helped him along, following his movement with his hands. "You feel so good," he gasped and licked Regulus' bottom lip before kissing him.

Regulus dug his fingers into Remus' shoulders, taking a good hold to give him more force in his movements. It felt different like this in the water. It slowed down their movements and at the same time made them almost weightless.

Remus moaned and took a firmer hold on Regulus, moving him back and forth on his lap and enjoyed the amazing feeling the contact gave. He then let go with one hand and moved it in between them to take a hold on both of their erections.

"Re-Remus," gasped Regulus, feeling himself rushing towards completion already. He didn't slow down, though, because they had plenty of time for another go once they had recovered. So he moved faster, thrusting against Remus and into his hand until he stilled, the orgasm shaking through him. 

Remus did a few more jerks with his hand to finish himself off, and felt his body almost cramp up in an orgasm. Then he sank back as his body went limp, buzzing pleasantly. He placed several kisses on Regulus’ face as he tried to catch his breath.

"That was good," breathed Regulus. "Let's go again in ten minutes."

Remus looked a little surprised, then smiled. "Okay."

"Brilliant," grinned Regulus and suddenly pushed himself away from the edge and dived under the water. He swam a few lengths and the reappeared on the surface, swimming further along. 

Remus smiled and let himself slip under water as well only to reappear moments later. He ran a hand through his wet hair, pushing it out of his eyes and smiled fondly as he watched Regulus swimming around.

Regulus dived again and moved in on Remus from behind, suddenly reappearing right behind him, saying, "Boo!"

Remus let out a yelp and jumped around to see Regulus. He then grinned and stepped closer to him, pushing his wet hair back with both hands. "You devil, you," he smiled.

Regulus laughed. "Who did you _think_ it was? A Death Eater?"

"Could have been," grinned Remus.

Regulus dived under again and swam around, every so often coming up for air. Remus leaned back against the edge and watched. After about ten minutes Regulus swam over to Remus, going down and then surfacing just in front of him. "Waiting for me?" he grinned. 

"Just watching you enjoy yourself," Remus smiled and caressed Regulus’ cheek. "We should definitely come here more often, don't you think?"

"I won't complain. It's nice with some luxury." Regulus sat down on the ledge next to Remus, taking his hand under the water. "I like it here. Nice and private. No annoying and noisy students."

Remus turned his head to look at him and smiled warmly. "Yes, people rarely come here and no one can come in when the door is locked.”

Suddenly a thought struck Regulus. "Did you ever bring Davies here?"

"What?" Remus said. "N-no I never did, actually. It never came up. We always went to his dorm when we wanted to be... intimate." 

"Hm," said Regulus, not quite satisfied with the answer. He was glad Remus had not brought Davies here, but thinking about them being intimate in his dorm did not make him feel much better. "So it's only because you didn't think of it that you didn't bring him here?"

"I don't really know," said Remus and felt a bit cornered. "I guess if he had asked, then I would probably have brought him here but he didn't and it never came to mind. Besides, I’m not with him anymore. I’m with you and you’re the one I always wanted. How many times do I have to tell you?”

"Do you miss him?"

"No. He was very nice but there was never much of a connection really. It was more of a flirt."

"And you and me, is that more than a flirt?"

"Of course it is!" said Remus exasperatedly. He looked Regulus straight in the eye and gulped nervously. "Yes it is. I love you," he said in a sincere voice, hoping that Regulus would believe him. 

Regulus stopped breathing for a few seconds, looking at Remus in surprise. He loved him? Well, he had suspected as much, because Remus had said it indirectly several times. But this was as direct as could be. "Oh. Okay," was all he could come up with. 

_Say you love him too,_ said a small voice inside Regulus' head. 

_Why_?

_Because when somebody tells you they love you, you're expected to say it back. If it's true. And it is. You do love him._

He did. He loved Remus more than he even dared admit to himself, but he just couldn't make himself say it out loud. He didn't know why. 

Remus looked down at the bubbles. Didn't Regulus love him back since he didn't say anything other than ‘okay’? Remus knew that Regulus had some issues with talking about his feelings, but he had hoped for more of a response than just ‘okay’.

They got dressed a little later. Remus had been very quiet since the ‘I love you’ thing, and it had made Regulus uncomfortable. "Well, I'll go first, shall I?" he asked, putting on his transfigured Ravenclaw robes. "Thanks, by the way. It was very nice. I'd love to do it again."

"You're welcome. Yes, go ahead. I'll see you in the common room.”

**o0o0o**

Two floors down Regulus turned his robes back to Gryffindor colours. He had just rounded a corner when he ran into a crowd of Slytherins. 

"Well hello there, Black," sneered Mulciber who was at the front of the crowd. He sent him a slick smile and walked up close to him. "Where are you off to? I thought you would be in your precious Gryffindor tower at this time of day."

Regulus discretely looked around to see if there was any escape route. It didn't look like it. He closed his hand around his wand in his pocket. "I'm on my way, since that is where I live," he said in a cool voice, putting up his usual haughty expression.

Nigel came around the corner from having been to visit some friends. He spotted the Slytherins and Regulus, so he quickly hid behind a pillar.

"You know, Black," Nott said, pulling out his wand, digging it into Regulus’ chin. "I’m getting tired of practicing Unforgivables on animals. It would be a whole lot more educational to try them on a human."

Regulus swallowed, forcing himself to breathe slowly through his nose. He was not going to give them the satisfaction of showing that they were scaring him. "How stupid of you to admit you have been practicing Unforgivables here where anybody could overhear you. You do know they're extremely illegal, yes?"

"I don’t care if anyone hears. Right now all I can think about is how fun it would be to practice on you," said Nott.

"I'm sure you change your mind when you get a one-way ticket to Azkaban," said Regulus. 

"Well, they won't find out, will they?" hissed Nott, tightening the grip on his wand.

"You going to kill me, then?" said Regulus, keeping his voice steady although his heart was hammering away. "I wonder how long it takes until they deduct who did it. You know that it's easy to tell from a body if it has been killed by a curse."

Nott pushed Regulus up against the wall and stuck his face close up to his, still holding the wand to his neck. "Maybe I should just kill you for being piss annoying!"

"Come on, let's just go," Barty said, looking slightly nervous. 

Nott lowered his wand but then without hesitance, he punched Regulus in the stomach with his free hand.

“We could Crucio him and threaten him to keep quiet about it?" suggested Wilkes.

"He isn't worth getting in trouble over," said Avery. "He will be taken care of when he's out in the real life. Him and the other blood traitors."

Nott laughed. "Yes. Then the Dark Lord won't be so boring anymore will he, little Black?"

Regulus couldn't answer even if he had wanted to. The blow to his stomach had knocked all the wind out of him. 

The Slytherins laughed, seeing Regulus gasp for breath.

"Too bad really,” said Mulciber. “I would have loved to see him squirm in pain.”

“He will get what’s coming to him in time," said Avery. He yanked Regulus’ head up by his hair. "You keep your mouth shut about this and everything else or you will regret it, Black!" 

Regulus waited until they were out of sight and their guffawing couldn't be heard anymore before straightening himself and heading towards Gryffindor Tower.

**o0o0o**

"Hey, Remus," grinned James as Remus came into the common room. "Where's your friend?"

Remus looked around, surprised to see that Regulus wasn’t back yet. "I don't know. I thought he was here," he said, careful not to let anyone else hear of whom he talked. "He left before me so I thought he would be back by now?"

Sirius looked up from a motorcycle magazine and raised an eyebrow. "Maybe he can’t walk straight," he teased and laughed as Remus' face turned scarlet.

James broke down laughing, giving Sirius a high-five. 

Regulus came back ten minutes later. Remus thought he looked a little shaken. "Are you okay?" he asked, moving up to him.

"Yeah, where’ve you been, Reggie?" grinned Sirius, still amused by his own joke.

"Why wouldn't I be okay?" snapped Regulus. "And it's not your bloody business where I go," he continued, sending his brother a glare. Then he marched up to his dorm. 

"Blimey, someone’s in a bad mood after sex," whispered Sirius.

Remus looked after Regulus and felt a knot form in the pit of his stomach, afraid that he was angry over what Remus had said earlier.

"Well, not to worry. It takes nothing to spoil his mood,” said Sirius. “Don't know what happened this time. Maybe he’s still angry with Peter for offending him the other day."

"N-no," a voice sounded and they all turned their heads to see Nigel.

"No?"

"I mean - he has a good reason," said Nigel. "The Slytherins threatened to use the Cruciatus curse on him."

Sirius’ face went blank as he stared at Nigel. Then after taking in what he had just said, he leaped up from his seat and hurried up to Regulus' dorm, knocking violently on the door. "Regulus!"

Regulus could tell from the sound of his brother that he was not going to let himself be ignored, so he tore open the door. " _What_?"

"Did that Slytherin scum threaten to curse you?" Sirius demanded, fixing his brother with a blazing gaze.

"What?" said Regulus, surprised. How could Sirius know that? "What are you talking about? I don't have any problem with the Slytherins."

"Don’t give me that shit, Reggie!" barked Sirius. "Nigel saw them corner you! Now tell me the bloody truth for once!"

"Stay out of it! Do you really want to go there again?" asked Regulus in a warning tone. "Do you want McGonagall to give us detention for the rest of your time at Hogwarts?"

"I don’t care!" said Sirius. "No one is going to threaten my brother!" Then he rushed downstairs, right past the other Marauders, towards the exit.

"Sirius?" asked Remus. "Where are you going?"

"To teach them not to mess with my brother!"

"Hey, Padfoot, wait!" James shot out of his chair and caught Sirius by his robes just outside the portrait hole. "Hang on for a minute! You can't just run down there not knowing what this is all about! You've got to at least figure out what happened and why. Moony, back me up here," he said to Remus, who had followed them out. 

Regulus came rushing two seconds later, very eager to stop Sirius. “You aren’t going anywhere!” he yelled at his brother.

Remus nodded. "You can’t run down there like that. What happened, anyway?"

“They threatened to Cruciate Reggie!”

Remus gasped in shock.

“Either way, we can’t allow you to go, mate,” said James.

"You’re telling me this as my friends or as Head Boy?" barked Sirius and shook James' hand off him.

“Both,” said James and placed himself so he was blocking Sirius’ way.

"If they want curses, I’ll show them curses!"

"Use your head, your bloody idiot!" said Regulus. "And stay _out_ of it. It's nothing! I can look after myself!"

"What's going on, Regulus?" asked James. "Why are they targeting you all of a sudden? I thought you were their pal."

"I'm nobody's pal, Potter. And you stay out of this as well!"

"But Regulus, if they threatened you with Unforgivables you must report it to McGonagall," said Remus.

"I'm not going blabbing to a teacher just because someone threatens me with a stupid curse. I'm not a first-year."

"We're not talking about just any curse, Regulus," said James. "Unforgivables are dead serious, and illegal at that."

"I know that, you tosser. But they weren't used, it was just talk!"

"They threatened using one," said Remus. "That’s serious enough.”

"And that is why they should be punished!" said Sirius heatedly.

"Don't you dare!" warned Regulus. 

"Why did they threaten you, Regulus?" asked James in a demanding tone. 

"I'm not answering to you, Potter," snarled Regulus.

"Yes, you are. I'm Head Boy and if you don't tell me right now why they're on your back all of a sudden, I’m off to report to McGonagall."

Regulus glared furiously at him for a second. "Because I don't want to join their stupid You-know-who fan club. And because I told Barty to stick it."

Sirius was dumbstruck. Regulus had finally realised that the Slytherins were bad company and had stood up to them? It filled him with pride, but then his anger flared up again. “Fan club?” he roared.

"They wanted you to join You-know-who with them?" asked Remus nervously.

"They..." started Regulus, realising that he had practically revealed that they were aspiring Death Eaters. “No, just... not exactly. But they think he's brilliant and that's all they're interested in. I don't know if they're actually planning on joining him."

"Of course they are," said James. "And we shouldn’t be surprised. They love dark magic, so why wouldn't they want to join?"

"Bloody bastards!" growled Sirius. “Well, I’m going down to fix this!” He made for the stairs again but both Remus and Regulus grabbed his arms and held him back.

"I don't want you to do anything about it, Sirius! I don't need my big brother fighting my battles!"

"I’m looking out for you as I should. And clearly you can't handle it yourself, so I’ll have to!"

"I can't handle it?" snarled Regulus, furious. "What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you calling me weak because I don't attack them all single-handedly? I'm not weak - I'm smart!"

"If you were smart you would have told us about this long ago!”

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU BLOODY WANT ME TO DO?" yelled Regulus. “Come blabbing to you so you could run down to the dungeons and make an arse of yourself? Or do you think you can take on half the Slytherin house all on your own?"

"At least I’m doing something!"

"Sirius, I have to agree with Regulus,” said Remus. “It’s crazy to run down and fight the Slytherins. The right thing to do is tell McGonagall."

"NO!" shouted Regulus, rounding on Remus. "No telling anybody! It will just make everything worse!"

Remus gulped. "But… but what if they hurt you? We can’t just let them get away with acting like this."

"They won't hurt me. They threatened me and then let me go. End of that."

"What if they don't let you go next time?" asked Remus, desperately wanting Regulus to understand the gravity of the situation.

"I’m going to make sure they won’t dare ever lay a finger on my brother again!" Sirius insisted, stomping his foot for emphasis.

James studied Sirius for a moment. "You're not going to change your mind about this, are you?" He knew Remus' way was the right one, but he also knew his best friend.

Sirius shook his head. "You bet I ain't!"

"Well, then at least let us be smart about this. Your brother is right - you can't just run down there like a headless chicken. That's not how you deal with Death Eaters out in the real world either."

"And what do you suggest?" Sirius asked and looked at James curiously.

“Well, we’re going with you and we’re going to make a plan of action first.”

“We’re not doing this!” protested Regulus.

"Oh stop it, Reggie," said Sirius. "They deserve to be punished."

"What kind of position do you think you're putting me in? It will look like I ran blabbing to you and had you avenge me!"

Remus agreed with Regulus but he wasn’t one to argue with an angry Sirius and he also wanted to support his friends in this matter. "I think we should listen to Regulus on this one,” he said a little nervous, looking around at his friends. “We shouldn’t go down there.”

"Well, I'm not letting Padfoot go alone, so are you all in?” asked James, looking at Remus and Peter (who had been standing in the background through it all). 

“NO!" said Regulus. "Nobody's in!"

“Moony? Wormtail?” said James, ignoring Regulus.

Peter swallowed and nodded. There was nothing he wanted to do less, but when James asked him like that, he couldn't refuse. 

"Yes,” sighed Remus. “If you must. But I still think we should report it instead.”

James stepped up to Remus and said in low voice. “You know that Padfoot is not going to leave it, even if we report it. We can’t keep him under control around the clock. It’s better if we’re with him.”

Remus sighed again and nodded.

“Good. Then let's sit down and talk about how we're going to do this," said James. 

Regulus realised the game was lost. He knew his brother as well as James did, and this was going to happen whether Regulus liked it or not, so he followed the others up to their dormitory, cursing along the way. There was no way he would let them go without him. The only thing more embarrassing than the Slytherins thinking he had blabbed to his big brother was them thinking he had blabbed to his big brother  _and_  not had the guts to come along to face them. 

"So what do you suggest we do, then?" asked Sirius as James closed the door to the dorm and went to sit down on his bed. "Since my plan isn’t good enough for you lads."

"First of all, we want them on their own. We can't just take on the whole Slytherin house. Who is it, Regulus?"

Regulus scowled at him but couldn't see any other way than to point the culprits out. "Just the ones threatening me today or all of them?"

"What do you mean, all of them?"

"Well, there's a whole group who's been harassing me…"

"I want ALL the names," demanded Sirius, punching a fist into his palm.

Regulus sighed. "Avery, Mulciber, Nott, Rosier, Wilkes. Barty..." He didn't mention Snape, because he knew James would lose his head completely, if he did. Besides, Snape hadn’t really been bothering him. He had not wanted them to have anything to do with Regulus in the first place. "But leave Barty out of it. He defended me until recently."

Sirius sat back and looked like he was thinking. "We could wait until the full moon and send them to the shack," he said with a grin suddenly appearing on his face.

"That's not funny, Sirius!" growled Remus.

Sirius bowed his head. "Sorry. I was only joking."

"You didn’t mention Snivellus," said James, looking at Regulus. "Don't tell me he isn't part of that group. He's got Death Eater written all over him."

"He never bothered me," said Regulus, not answering directly. 

"I have a hard time believing that Snivellus didn't have anything to do with this," said Sirius. "He hangs with that lot all the time."

"Alright, I've seen him with the others, but like I said, he never harassed me. He was against letting me in on anything from the start. He warned the others that I couldn’t be trusted."

“If only they had listened to him, we wouldn’t be in this mess,” sighed Remus.

"We need to find a way of getting them on our own," speculated James, dropping the issue of Snape. "Maybe talk to one of them. Arrange a meeting."

"H-how?" asked Peter, who wished they would just abandon the whole idea. Fighting against Slytherins was not something he was dying to do.

"Why don't we go get some dinner and then we can work it out afterwards,” said James. “I'm starving and I need some energy for my brain in order to think properly."

Remus turned his head and looked at Regulus as the other left the room. "I'm sorry they insist on doing this.”

"Yeah well, why don't you talk them out of it, then?" said Regulus sullenly.

"I tried. I wish it hadn’t come to this. I wish you had told me you were in trouble with the Slytherins long ago."

"I told you I don't want people fighting my battles. I can look after myself. Just look at what happens now that somebody found out: Sirius is going to go and blow everything up and make it even worse. They will hate me even more after that and want revenge for telling on them. They will also suspect that I've been spying on them and will pass on information. I've tried to avoid that for a long time. Ever since Barty dragged me to a DE meeting."

Remus looked back down at his hands and nodded slowly. "I understand what you mean and I’m sorry Sirius is acting like this. But he’s only doing it because he loves you, and you know he has a problem controlling his anger.”

Regulus was silent for a moment. "You know - I've been walking on a knife’s edge the past couple of years to stay out of trouble, and then he's going to run face first into the middle of it like a bull in a china shop and make a giant mess of it," said Regulus bitterly. "He never uses his head."

"No he doesn’t," agreed Remus.

James stuck his head in through the door. “Aren’t you lads coming down for dinner?”

“Yeah, of course,” said Remus and got up.

**o0o0o**

Sirius might have agreed to cool it and wait to act until they had a procedure planed, but he forgot all about that when he spotted the notorious group of Slytherins on the way to the Great Hall. He narrowed his eyes and without warning, he stormed towards the Slytherins.

"Sirius! No!" called Remus and James simultaneously.

"Look, that's Black," said Avery as he saw Sirius storm in their direction. "What the fuck is up with him?"

When Sirius reached them, he grabbed Avery by the throat and poked his wand into his cheek. The Marauders plus Regulus was right on Sirius’ tail and in a few seconds everybody had drawn their wands and were pointing at someone in the other group.

"What the fucking do you think you’re doing?" growled Nott at Sirius. Instead of answering, Sirius turned his wand on Nott and sent him flying down the corridor.

Before Avery could react and push away the hand still dug into his throat, Sirius had turned back, pointing his wand at his cheek again.

Both Mulciber and Rosier had their wands aimed at Sirius. "Let him go, you crazy bugger!"

"You will regret what you did!" hissed Sirius, not letting Avery go.

"What we did? What do you mean?" asked Mulciber. 

"You threatened my brother with an Unforgivable Curse!"

"What? That little rat came blabbing to you?" asked Mulciber. 

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL ME A RAT!" yelled Regulus and pointed his wand at Mulciber’s face. "I didn't tell him shite! Some bloody Gryffindor kid spied on us!"

"Spied on us?" Mulciber said and narrowed his eyes at Regulus. "How do we know you didn't do some spying of your own? Severus was right all along. You can’t be trusted!"

"I'm not a fucking rat!" yelled Regulus. "If I were, I would have ratted you lot out ages ago! Sirius, let him go - I don't want you fighting my battles! I bloody well told you!"

"They need to be taught a lesson!" insisted Sirius, his eyes ablaze.

Suddenly something unexpected happened: James let out a sharp yelp as a long gash appeared, running from his shoulder to his chest, ripping his shirt and drawing blood. Snape, who had been standing at the back of the group, had stepped forward and sent a curse at him. 

Sirius' eyes widened as he saw what happened to James. He let go of Avery and sent a curse flying at Snape.

Snape blocked Sirius’ curse and yelled, "Impedimenta!” The spell missed Sirius by an inch and instead hit Remus, who was knocked off his feet and into the wall behind him.

Next, Regulus had hit Snape with a stinging curse, making him drop his wand with a scream and holding his hands to his face, which was rapidly swelling up in hives. Then everything erupted, hexes and curses flying everywhere, some hitting their targets, some bouncing off the walls or Shield Charms. A few minute passed like this until suddenly everybody froze in position, unable to move. 

Professor Dumbledore had come rushing up the corridor followed by several teachers. A mob of curious students was assembling behind the professors. The tremendous noise the combatants had caused had been heard all the way to the Great Hall. 

The second Dumbledore lifted his Freezing Charm, everybody started talking agitatedly, trying to explain what the other part had done.

"QUIET," rung Dumbledore's loud voice. 

Everybody went completely quiet at once. 

"Now," continued Dumbledore in a normal calm tone. "Is anybody badly injured?" 

Before anyone could speak, the Headmaster spotted James and stepped up to him, quickly stopping the bleeding from the long gash. Then he revived Mulciber, Nott and Peter, who had all been stunned. 

"I will escort the injured to the hospital wing and make sure they are taken care of by Madam Pomfrey. Minerva, will you take your students to your office and wait there for me?" Dumbledore turned and waved Slughorn over. "The same goes for you, Horace. Please. I shall come as quickly as I can to each in turn and then I want to find out exactly what has gone down here."

**o0o0o**

"Sit down," ordered Professor McGonagall as she closed the door to her office.

Remus sat down immediately, feeling a bit guilty from not having stopped Sirius before he had gone to the Slytherins.

"I suppose I do not have to tell you how disappointed I am?"

"No, Professor," said Sirius and crossed his arms. "But they really _did_ start it this time.”

"Oh? How so?"

"They threatened to curse Regulus."

"It was nothing," said Regulus. "Sirius had no business running over and attacking people just because he heard his brother had been bullied a bit." 

McGonagall nodded, seemingly agreeing.

"I told him it was nothing and that I can look after myself," continued Regulus.

Sirius sent his brother a dirty look. "You're just going to throw me under the bus? When all I was doing was trying to protect you!"

"I'm not throwing you under the bus! You were caught red-handed! And I did not ask you to defend me. In fact I begged you to leave it alone!"

Sirius was about to retort, but McGonagall cut him off. “Quiet, all of you! Save your explanations for Dumbledore.”

James joined them fifteen minutes later, and Dumbledore arrived after another fifteen minutes. The old man sat down, cleared his throat and looked around at all five. "I have just visited the Slytherins and heard their version of events. Now I wish to hear yours. The truth, please."

"They were going to curse Regulus, so I wanted to defend him, but clearly that was a mistake," said Sirius, crossing his arms again.

"They were going to curse you, Regulus?" asked Dumbledore.

"No, they just threatened me. It was no big deal."

"Any specific curse?"

Regulus did not want to tell which curse, but the Headmaster's piercing eyes looked like they could see right through him, so he decided that it was no use lying. "Cruciatus," he mumbled. "But they weren't going to. They just wanted to scare me."

Dumbledore and McGonagall exchanged surprised looks.

"See? That’s why I wanted to stand up for him!" said Sirius triumphantly.

Dumbledore looked at Regulus, brows furrowed. "That is a grave matter, Regulus, even if the perpetrators did not intend to carry out the threat. You should have reported it to your head of house."

"It would only have made things worse. And I am _not_ a snitch!"

"I am sure you are not a snitch, but if someone threatens with an Unforgiveable curse, you have an obligation to report it so the case can looked into,” said Professor Dumbledore.

Remus shot a glance at Sirius and James. If only they had listened to him and reported it, like he had urged them to do, they could have been spared all this trouble.

"I'm curious as to why they would single you out, Regulus," said Dumbledore. "Or were you just a random target, do you think?”

Regulus swallowed. He did not want to tell how he had been pressured for a whole year. He shrugged. "I don't know. Perhaps."

Sirius was about to say something, but Regulus shot him a glare promising agony and death, so he closed his mouth again.

"Well, it would seem that I need to have another talk with the Slytherins,” said Dumbledore as he got up from his chair. "I expect you two groups to leave each other alone from now on. Minerva, please deal out the punishment you deem necessary." The Headmaster stopped in the doorway. "Oh, and Regulus? If there is anything you wish to tell me, my door is always open."

"There isn't, sir," said Regulus. 

Dumbledore’s piercing eyes fixed the boy for a long moment. "Alright. But I expect you to report it to Minerva or myself if you get any more trouble from them."

"Yes, sir."

The door closed and McGonagall turned to the five boys. "Well... This is not how I would have liked to spend my evening. I think two weeks’ detention for each of you should do it. The only reason I am not giving you the rest of the year, Black, is that although you handled the situation in a completely unacceptably manner, your heart was in the right place. Merlin knows it’s refreshing to see you stand up for your brother instead of fighting him.” The professor turned her attention to James and Remus. “And you two – prefect and Head Boy – do I have to tell you how disappointed I am that you allowed this to happen?”

"Remus is not at fault," said Regulus. "He tried to talk Sirius out of it, but he wouldn't listen to reason. Like always."

James looked at the younger Black. He was surprised that he defended Remus but not himself, since he had tried just as hard (if not harder) to stop his brother. 

"Is that so?" McGonagall asked, looking at Remus.

"Well… I did try to talk him out of it, but I am just as guilty in the fighting as the others."

"Well, you should have tried harder, and failing to do that, reported to me." She moved her gaze to James. "Since reporting to the Head Boy would be useless, it seems."

"Sorry, Professor," mumbled James, actually looking ashamed. “I will live up to my responsibility from now on.”

"I truly hope so,” said McGonagall. She motioned for the boys to stand up. “You may be excused. And if anything like this happens again you will be in detention for the rest of the year!"

Regulus stalked off as soon as they were free to go. He was furious with Sirius for causing all this trouble, and he did not believe one second that the Slytherins were going to let this slide. They would believe Regulus had set his brother up to it.

"It's not fair," mumbled Peter. McGonagall is much stricter than Slughorn. I bet they don't get half the punishment we did."

"Well, we deserve it," said Remus. "We attacked them without good reason."

"Without reason?" said Sirius, gawking at Remus. "What they did was dead serious - you heard Professor Dumbledore! And I agree with Peter: McGonagall is way too strict on us. We did it out of a good heart for Regulus."

"Still..." said Remus but decided to drop it. They had detention for two weeks and there was nothing they could do about it.

**o0o0o**

As usual when he was angry with Sirius, Regulus gave him the silent treatment in the days following the incident. There had been no more fighting, but the Slytherins had scowled vengefully at them whenever they passed. Regulus looked the other way while Sirius scowled back, muttering offences under his breath. Remus or James would always put a hand on his shoulder to remind him to keep calm. 

"I still think they got what was coming to them," said Sirius as they sat in the common room. "Actually, I think they should have had more."

"Just be happy we only got two weeks’ detention," said Remus and pulled out a fresh roll of parchment. A full moon was coming up, so he had to get ahead on his homework.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 – “You Can Unload all You Want, Mate”**

The day after the full moon Regulus went up to the hospital wing to visit Remus, as soon as his lessons were over. Madam Pomfrey stopped him at the door. "What can I do for you, Mr. Black?"

"I'm here to visit Remus."

Madam Pomfrey looked at him a little surprised and then crossed her arms. "He doesn’t take visitors."

"He will see me. I know about his illness."

Madam Pomfrey's eyes widened and then she sighed. "I thought Remus was more careful and not telling everyone about his condition," she said but stepped aside. "Go ahead, then."

"I guessed it. And we have become rather good friends so I'm not going to blow his secret," said Regulus as he walked in and headed to the corner hidden by curtains where he had last seen Remus. 

Remus was lying with his eyes closed but opened them when Regulus slipped in and said "Hey." Remus sent him a tired smile and reached for his hand. "Hey there..." 

He looked awfully pale and had a few cuts and bruises on his face and arms but he looked happy to see Regulus. Regulus took his hand and sat down on the chair next to the bed. "You don't look good."

"I’ve looked worse," smiled Remus and gave Regulus’ hand a squeeze. "But I feel much better now that you're here." He closed his eyes tight for a moment and drew in a sharp breath.

"Is it very bad?" asked Regulus, concerned. "Doesn't Madam Pomfrey give you pain potions?"

"She does, but sometimes there’s a sharp pain here and there," Remus said and opened his eyes again. "Thank you for coming to see me. It really means a lot."

"Of course." Regulus dug into his pocket and fished out a giant bar of Honeydukes finest hazelnut chocolate. "I sent Lyra to Hogsmeade. She was happy to get it for you."

Remus smiled and took the chocolate. "My favourite. Thank you. This will definitely help me recover." He started unwrapping the bar. "Care to share it with me?"

"Just a bite. It's yours, and you can certainly use some extra calories."

"Are you saying I’m too skinny?" smiled Remus.

"Yes, you're too skinny. My personal theory is that Pettigrew eats most of your food and you put up with it because you're so overly nice."

Remus chuckled and caressed Regulus’ hand. "I’ve missed you. We haven’t had much alone time lately because of all the detention so it's nice to be alone with you for once."

"Yes, I know," said Regulus, getting irritated just by thinking about the situation. He was still mad at his brother. And Potter for not stopping him. He was properly the only one who could have done it.

"You said your parents paid a lot of money in the attempt to find a treatment for your condition - did they really find nothing at all?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Sadly not. They have used every knut they had, and more, for nothing." Remus sighed. "They’re still working hard, both to pay off debt and for whenever some quack invents a new remedy that’s supposed to help.”

“Are they really that stupid to fall for such stunts so many times?” asked Regulus.

Remus sighed. “They know they’re getting ripped off, but like they say – you can never know for sure, and if there’s just 0,001 percent chance that it actually might work, then it’s worth a try. I’ve told them many times that I wish they would stop, but they refuse to give up. My father blames himself for my condition. You now, because the werewolf that bit me had a grudge against him for wanting harsher restrictions.”

"Well... Sometimes you change your mind when you see another side to something. Before I knew what you were, it would not have bothered me the least bit if the restrictions against werewolves were sharpened. I never really thought of them as human, you know? I suppose it's the same with your father."

**o0o0o**

A month passed and Remus and Regulus grew even closer. Sirius and Regulus was finally on speaking terms again but they did not speak of the incident yet. It was better just to leave it at that. Even though he hated to be dependent on others, Regulus took care to never walk deserted hallways alone. He did not want to risk running into the Slytherins again on his own, giving them the opportunity to corner him again. There was no telling what they might do if they got the chance. Barty would send him looks of hatred whenever they had classes together but he never said anything directly to him. Instead he spoke loudly with his friends whenever the Marauders and Regulus passed, almost sending Sirius over the edge again.

"Their parents must be so ashamed," commented Rosier, shaking his head like an old man who can hardly believe what the world has come to. "Both their sons, blood traitors."

Sirius growled like a disgruntled dog and turned his head to glare at them.

"Just keep walking," Remus warned and pushed him ahead.

"It will probably be the end of the Ancient House of Black," said Barty. "They will probably marry Mudbloods."

"Don't you insult my family," said Regulus. "I will not marry a Muggleborn!"

"Listen to little Black," said Avery. "He won't even call Mudbloods by their rightful name any longer."

"Why don’t you shove it up your bum," growled Sirius and tried to get past Remus who had quickly blocked his way. "You don’t know shite about our family!"

"All of you, stop it!" said James, adopting his Head Boy voice. “Or I will have to start deducting points." He steered Sirius forward in the direction they had been going. "And you lot better clean up that language," he said, looking back at the Slytherins. "Next one who says the M-word loses 10 points."

The Slytherins just smirked and went on their way.

"I could have taken them on," grumbled Sirius.

"Good thing Potter can use his brain when you can't," commented Regulus. 

**o0o0o**

The first of December saw the last Hogsmeade visit of the year. James was ecstatic - Lily had finally agreed to give him a chance and go with him on a date. By the time the day came, the others were about ready to strangle him, having heard him going on and on about it for a week, ever since she said yes. 

"It’s going to be good for you to get this out of your system," said Sirius and slapped James on his back while they got ready to go out. It was a snowy day so they had to dress warm.

James darted down the stairs when he saw Lily and waved to the others as he left with her. 

"Guess it's just the four of us," said Sirius. 

Regulus wished Peter had a date as well so he didn't have to be around him, but he knew there wasn’t much chance of that happening, especially because Peter never had the courage to ask anyone. 

They all went out into the cold white weather and Remus wished he could put an arm around Regulus so they could keep each other warm as they walked to Hogsmeade, but there were too many students around.

"Any plans?" asked Sirius as they neared to the small village. "I’m going to Honeydukes for sweets for sure. My storage is running low. Wormtail dug into it last week," he teased and elbowed the plump boy.

"It shows," mumbled Regulus. 

Peter shot a glare at Regulus but didn't say anything.

They walked around for a half hour when suddenly Remus left them, saying he was going to go get something. He came back ten minutes later with a smile on his lips and dragged Regulus to the side of a small house.

"I bought this for you," he said and showed him a beautiful red rose.

Regulus looked at the rose for a long moment and then up at Remus, his eyes ablaze. "A flower? A FLOWER? You know to whom you give flowers? GIRLS! Is that what you think of me? I'm the girl in the relationship?"

"What?" asked Remus, taken aback. “I… I just thought of it as a nice gesture, that's all. I didn’t mean to insult you."

"Well, you did!" yelled Regulus and slammed the flower against the wall several times, so the petals and leaves smashed and fell off. Then he thrust the banged up stem into Remus' hand. "There!" he said and marched off. 

Remus looked after him, feeling a little hurt but also kicking himself mentally. He really should know better by now.

"And you’re supposed to be the one who uses his brain before he acts," said Sirius and shook his head as they headed for the Three Broomsticks to warm up on some hot butterbeer. Regulus was walking a little ahead of the other three, still offended.

"He’s just mental," said Peter. "Mental like that bloody cat of his. Don't pay attention to him, Moony."

Peter had obviously counted on Regulus being out of earshot, because after the day they played football, he had not dared offend him to his face. But Regulus heard him and spun around, marching back to him. "Shut the fuck up, Pettigrew! Don't you dare talk about my cat that way!"

Peter looked a little taken aback and cowered for a moment under Regulus’ burning glare, but then straightened himself. "Well it’s true! You're bloody mental and so is your cat!"

"That’s enough Peter," said Remus, feeling he had to defend his boyfriend.

Peter looked over at Remus in disbelief. "He just insulted your gift and you still defend him?"

Remus rubbed his arms and then nodded. "Yes."

"But he’s mental! He should get his own bloody friends instead of hanging around us all the time!"

Sirius crossed his arms. "You’re the only one who has a problem with Reggie hanging with us, Peter, so just lay off and don’t call my brother mental!"

Regulus looked from Peter to Sirius to Remus. It felt good how they had both just stood up for him. He almost forgot why he had been mad at Remus.

Peter didn't say anything else. In fact he barely said anything for the rest of the trip; he just trailed behind, looking extremely sullen. 

Remus pulled Regulus aside when they came back to the school and looked around to make sure no one was within earshot. "I’m sorry I insulted you. I really didn’t mean to. I just wanted to give you something nice, but I see how you could misunderstand it.”

Regulus sighed. "I know you meant well. But you know how I feel about... well, you know. Let's just forget about it, shall we?"

Remus nodded and smiled. "Yes, let’s do that." 

**o0o0o**

Instead of following the others to Gryffindor Tower, Peter headed for the dungeons. He didn't know precisely where the Slytherin house was, but there were students walking by coming home for Hogsmeade, so he just waited for one of the boys he knew had been on Regulus' back. After ten minutes he spotted Avery, Nott, and Mulciber.  

"What the hell?" said Avery as Peter walked up to them, looking very nervous. "If it isn't Potter’s fat little lapdog. Do you want a good working over?"

"No," said Peter in slightly shaky voice and looked around. "I just... well…" He scratched his neck, considering abandoning his plan. But Regulus had wormed his way into the group and now both Remus and Sirius had sided with him. It would only be a matter of time before James did it too. "I have something to tell you about Regulus Black," he then said, straightening his back, trying to look confident.

"Oh, really?" asked Nott, suddenly looking interested. "What kind of thing?"

Peter looked around again and drew in a quick breath. "He’s in a secret relationship with Remus Lupin," he said and actually felt a little guilty for getting Remus in trouble. This would affect him too. But then again, Remus had shut Peter more and more out since he started dating Regulus. It was time for a wakeup call.

They all stared at him. 

" _What_? Lupin?"

"You mean he's gay?"

Peter nodded. "Yes, he is. They’ve been together for almost a year." 

Nott started laughing. "So little Mr. Stuck-up is a faggot? I bet his family won't be pleased to learn that!"

"Merlin, what a shame for the Black family," said Avery. "Gryffindor, blood traitor _and_ queer. Bloody hell!"

They all laughed. Then suddenly Mulciber became serious. "Hey, why the hell are you telling us this? You're supposed to be their close-knit friend. Is this a trick?"

"It's not a trick," gulped Peter. "I’m just sick and tired of him squeezing his way into our little group, and I want him out. He’s ruining everything. Taking away my friends and making them shut me out just because he’s Remus’ boyfriend and Sirius’ brother."

Avery laughed. "Is that so? Well, we aren't complaining. You can unload all you want, mate."

Something suddenly struck Peter. If the others found out, Sirius or Regulus would kill him. Probably both. And he would be shunned the group for sure. "Um... You can't tell them this came from me."

"Well, that's up to us, isn't it?" grinned Nott. "We don't take orders from Gryffindors."

"Wait," said Mulciber. "Actually it might not be a bad idea keeping it to ourselves. I suggest that we don’t tell anyone here."

" _What_?" said the others, staring at him in disbelief.

"Oh, we will tell somebody, but not here. We will send word to his parents. Give him a nasty holiday surprise."

"Bloody brilliant!" grinned Nott. "Oh, I’d love to be a fly on the wall when he comes home."

Peter tried to laugh along but was already having doubts about whether he had done something stupid. "Well, I'm just going to go back to Gryffindor, then," he said and backed away from the Slytherins.

"Hey!" said Avery.

Peter turned around, looking like a frightened rabbit. 

"Anytime you feel like venting your frustrations, you're welcome to come to us with information. You could be mighty useful to our side. Our spy in Gryffindor. Not bad. How about that?"

Peter nodded nervously. What else could he do? Say no to upcoming Death Eaters?

"We won't rat on you if you accept our offer," said Mulciber.

"Alright," said Peter. He couldn’t see any other way to make sure they wouldn’t tell his friends what he had done. "I’ll do it."

**o0o0o**

Regulus landed on his back next to Remus, out of breath. "That was good," he grinned. 

Remus ran a hand through his damp hair. "Yes. You're amazing," he said and rolled onto his side, pulling Regulus in for a kiss.

Regulus kissed back and then looked at Remus. "I never thought sex would be this much fun. I mean, I always just thought it was whatever you had to do with your wife to have kids."

"Really?" said Remus and pulled the covers over them. "Well, I’m glad I could help broaden your horizon. And I’m sure there’s even more things we could try out."

"More things?" asked Regulus curiously. "Is there other stuff we can do?" He had absolutely no idea what gay people did for sex, other than what Remus had shown him. 

Remus blushed. "Well, there are a few things. There’s, well, for instance… sex with… where...” He stopped for a moment, not sure how to say it. "Well, you know when a man and a woman have sex, the man puts his you know into her. That can be done in gay sex as well. Only... in the you-know-where..." Remus bit his lip, waiting for Regulus’ response.

Regulus looked blankly at him for a second and then laughed. "You're funny. But it's not nice teasing just because I don't know as much as you about the subject."

Remus just blinked, taking a few seconds to realise that Regulus didn’t believe him. "I’m not joking. It’s true."

Regulus' grin froze on his face. "W-what? It's true? Well, that can't be normal. It has to be something only perverts do."

"Actually it’s pretty normal, I hear... I haven’t tried it, but it’s supposed to feel really good once you get used to it." He sighed. "I don’t expect you to want to try it, but I figured I would tell you about it, now that you asked."

"Well, if you think I want a cock shoved up my bum, you better think again," said Regulus. 

Remus couldn’t deny that he was a little disappointed, but he could understand Regulus. He had not been keen on the idea either when Noel had first suggested it. Frankly it had scared him a little and that’s why they had never gotten around to it. "Like I said, I didn’t expect it to be something you wanted to do..."

"Good. Because I don't. I think it's just fine what we have been doing so far.” 

"I like it too," smiled Remus and nuzzled against Regulus neck. His body was still buzzing from the orgasm and he didn’t feel like getting up. "You want to spend the night? I would love to wake up beside you in the morning."

Regulus sighed. "Me too, but maybe we're pushing it. We've been spending the night here rather often this past month."

"That’s true," sighed Remus and caressed Regulus' back. "But at least let's just lie here for a while. I don’t feel like getting up just yet."

"Are you looking forward to the holidays?" asked Regulus as he was lying there with his head on Remus' chest. 

"Kind of, but then again…" said Remus and let his fingers slide through Regulus' soft locks. “It will be good to see my family but I'm going to miss you like crazy. I suppose _you_ aren’t looking forwards?"

Regulus scoffed. "I know how it's going to go. A lot of posh parties and a lot of fighting between Sirius and our parents."

"I know. At least it isn’t as long as the summer holidays. We’re just going to be home. I think my Mum's family is coming for Christmas, so it's going to be a traditional Muggle Christmas this year. I don’t know if my Dad's family is coming yet." Remus was quiet for a moment. "And I’ll be ill the first couple of days. It's a full moon on the first day of the holiday."

"Oh... right. Well at least it's not on Christmas." Regulus sighed. This meant that Sirius would be going straight to Remus' place and Regulus would face his parents alone. 

"Yeah, that's always something," smiled Remus as he kept running his fingers through Regulus' hair.

They lay quiet for a while. Then Regulus spoke. "There's something else. My parents they… they're probably going to start talking about marriage soon. Like with Sirius. They've been going at him for about a year, so I guess it's my turn soon. Especially since I know they're scared he will not marry a pure-blood."

Remus didn’t say anything for a while. It hurt so much hearing Regulus talk about getting married. "I guess they will, but I wish that you would not go through with it. I love you and always will and I wish you could just stay with me instead of marrying someone else."

Regulus swallowed. Again with the 'I love you.' It felt good hearing it but at the same time his stomach clenched with guilt because he couldn't say it back and because it just made things more complicated. "I have to. It's my responsibility to make sure our name lives on. If Sirius fails. And he won't care. He won't even care what position he's putting me in if he refuses to marry a pure-blood."

"I wish he did, so you wouldn’t have to," said Remus. It was hard to imagine how things would be if Regulus got married. Would Remus even have the courage and moral to keep seeing him?

"Me too. Well, we can always hope he falls for a pure-blood. And as soon as possible. But I just can't see him settling down any time soon. He's so immature. And he likes his freedom."

"You're probably right. But… there’s nothing wrong in hoping," sighed Remus. He didn’t want to think about the Black family’s responsibilities and how he might lose Regulus. Right now he just wanted to lie with him and forget the world. 

  



	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30 – “Trust Me”**

To Regulus' surprise it was Narcissa who stood waiting for him and Sirius on the platform in London. Their parents must be busy, speculated Regulus, since they had sent her.

"Why are  _you_ here?" asked Sirius in a none too friendly tone, slinging his rucksack over his shoulder. 

Narcissa just sent him a dirty look and then turned to Regulus. "Your parents asked me to pick you up."

"Well I’m going to a friend’s house for the night," said Sirius. "I even sent an owl to tell Mum and Dad, so they have one less thing to nag me about."

Regulus pouted, sending Sirius a look of annoyance mixed with envy. Of course he had to go with Remus, but Regulus couldn't help feeling left out, and he was going home to their parents all on his own. 

"Fine," said Narcissa. "Your parents are more eager to see Regulus, anyway."

Narcissa was unusually cold on the way home and barely said anything. She had cooled down towards Regulus since he was sorted into Gryffindor, but never this much. He didn't dare ask why. Maybe she was in a bad mood over something in her own life. 

"Thank you, dear," said Mrs. Black to Narcissa when they arrived at Grimmauld Place. "Give our best to your husband," she continued and quickly closed the door. Regulus wondered why she had not invited her niece in for tea. 

Instead of the usual beaming house elf, Regulus was met with an anxious looking Kreacher.

"Go to the kitchen and start dinner, Kreacher," said Mrs. Black, and the elf vanished.

Mr. Black came into the hall and spotted them. "So there you are."

"Hello, Mother and Father. Lovely to be home," said Regulus, feeling an unease in his stomach. Something was not right here. 

There was no reply. Mrs. Black just glared at Regulus before suddenly slapping him hard. "You thought we wouldn’t find out about your filthy ways?"

Regulus held a hand to his stinging cheek, staring at her in shock. Filthy ways? What did she mean? 

"You and some dirty boy!" she roared, seeing that Regulus had clearly not understood what she meant. She grabbed him by the upper arm and pointed at him with her wand. "Is this true? Have you been seeing some boy?"

Still in shock, Regulus could only stare up at her (she was still taller than him). She knew. How could she possibly know? If someone had found out, it would have been all over the school. 

"Answer me!" she roared and shook him by the arm.

"Y-yes," stammered Regulus. His eyes darted to the side to where his father stood, but there was no sympathy to be found in his rock hard face. Not that Regulus had expected it. 

His mother narrowed her eyes and let go of him with a push. "You nasty boy!" she spat and pointed her wand at him. "Crucio!"

Regulus fell to the floor screaming in shock and pain. He had never experienced agony like this. Nothing his parents had ever done to him had hurt anywhere near this much. After what seemed like days it let up and Regulus found himself on his back panting on the floor, his vision slowly clearing. 

His parents stood looming over him. "You are not to see that boy ever again!” screamed his mother. “And if he comes here I will kill him! With no hesitation! "

"No!" gasped Regulus. "He won't come around! And you'll go to Azkaban if you hurt him!" he said before he could stop himself. 

Mrs. Black cast another Cruciatus curse on him and watch him squirm on the floor. When she lifted the curse, Orion spoke, “We are sending you to Durmstrang after the holidays and you will stay there for the rest of your education. They will knock some sense into you!" He reached down and grabbed the panting boy by the collar and dragged him to the door to the basement. "And you will be staying the basement until the holidays are over. We can’t even stand to look at you!"

"But we aren't bothering anybody!" protested Regulus as his father forced him down the stairs. "We are discrete! I've always been good, haven't I?"

"You have brought shame on us and I don’t care how well you try to hide it. No son of mine is queer!" Mr. Black pushed Regulus into the small room in which Sirius was usually placed, and slammed the door shut behind him.

"Father, please!" begged Regulus, hammering on the door. "I'm sorry! I'll be good! Please don't leave me here!"

**o0o0o**

The next morning, Sirius came home completely worn out from having spent all night awake with Remus and the others. He went to Regulus’ room and was puzzled when he didn’t find him there. He went through the house but there was no sign of him anywhere. "Mother?" he asked when he found her in the library. "Where is Regulus?"

"You will not see him for the rest of the holiday," said his mother coldly. "He's in the basement."

"What?" exclaimed Sirius, staring at her. "Why?"

"Don't tell me you didn't know he's a disgusting queer!"

Sirius’ eyes widened. How had she found out about this? "So what?" he barked. "He is still the same faithful son he has always been!"

"He's a disgrace to the family!" hissed Mrs. Black. "This is the second time he has shamed us!"

**o0o0o**

Kreacher apparated with a pop inside Regulus' small basement room. He had done so the night before as well, taking a great risk by going against strict orders. Regulus could see he had punished himself. Kreacher took baby steps towards Regulus and held out some food for him.

"Kreacher brought Master Regulus some food. Kreacher wishes he could do more for young Master..." the elf squeaked and put down the tray at Regulus’ feet.

Regulus wiped his nose in his sleeve and took the plate. "Thank you, Kreacher, but you should not defy Mother and Father. They will punish you severely if they catch you."

"Kreacher needs to make sure that Master Regulus Is okay."

**o0o0o**

"Expelliarmus!" sounded a voice and Sirius' wand flew out of his pocket. Mr. Black came walking in. "I see you have decided to come home.”

Sirius turned to see his father and his eyes burned with hate. "What did you do that for?"

"Just making sure you will not cause any trouble. Even attacking your own parents is not beyond you, I suspect."

“And clearly it’s not beyond _you_ to attack your sons! What have you done to Regulus? Did you beat him?”

“It is none of your concern how we discipline our children!” said Mr. Black.

“Regulus has done nothing wrong! He can’t help who he is!”

"Don't defend him," said Mrs. Black to Sirius. "Regulus is lucky we have not disowned him. We have decided to give him a second chance. But he has to keep in line and do exactly as he is told from now on. No more freedom."

"So you're just going to lock him in the basement every time he’s home?" asked Sirius. "Or are you pulling him out of school?" He suspected as much when they said they would keep an eye on him at all times.

"Out of Hogwarts, yes," said his father. "We are sending him to Durmstrang after the holidays."

"What? You can't do that! He will be miserable there!"

"I certainly hope so!" said Mrs. Black. "It is more than he deserves. “He will stay there until he graduates. No coming home in the holidays, and we will make sure the headmaster keeps him under strict control. We know him and he will no doubt be happy to meet our expectations."

"And when he comes home," Mr. Black said, "he will marry whoever we have found for him, no questions asked."

Sirius clenched his fists, wanting to scream and rant in protest, but he knew it would do no good. Instead he marched out of the room and upstairs. He had to get his brother out if this house as soon as possible. 

"We must keep an eye on him and make sure he doesn't do something stupid," said Mr. Black. "Kreacher!" Kreacher appeared in front of him. "You will watch the entrance to the basement carefully. If Sirius tries to go down there, report to us immediately. Understood?"

Kreacher nodded in silence.

**o0o0o**

Sirius had just slammed the door to his room when Kreacher appeared, his big round eyes full of tears. "Master Sirius," he wept. "He must help Master Regulus! He is being locked in the basement and is very miserable. Very miserable indeed."

Sirius looked at the elf, for once not feeling antipathy towards him. "I know. And I intend to do so, but first I have to wait for my parents to go to bed." He sighed and sat down. He would have to gather some of Regulus' things and put Polaris in his crate. "I will take Regulus away from here. I am not letting them send him to Durmstrang." He then eyed the elf sternly. "And you are  _not_ to tell Mother or Father about this or I will leave clothes out for you!"

"No need to threaten Kreacher," said the elf, sending Sirius a glare. "Kreacher wants only to save Master Regulus."

"Good," said Sirius and started to think. "I need to get our wands back. Do you know where they are?"

"Kreacher thinks Master put them in his study. Master is going out to work today so it is only Mistress home."

"Alright. Can you keep an eye on her while I go look for the wands?”

**o0o0o**

Regulus woke, sore in his whole body from lying on the hard floor. He didn't have an idea of what time of day it was, because there were no windows in this room and it was dark all the time, except for when he lit the candle Kreacher had snuck him. He had slept a few times, however very uneasily. Maybe a day had passed. Maybe more. He wished he could go back to sleep, because even though he didn't sleep well, at least he got a short break from all his thoughts. He had never felt so miserable and scared in his life. He had brought disgrace to the family and his parents would have to live with the shame. He was going to be sent away - to a school far from everything and everyone he knew. Sirius, his family, Kreacher. And worst of all - he would never see Remus again. It was almost more than he could bear.

Suddenly there was a scratching sound outside the door. Regulus scrambled to a sitting position, his heart jumping into his throat.

"Alohomora." The door clicked open and Sirius stuck his head inside. "Reggie?"

"S-Sirius? What are you doing? You can't unlock the door! They'll find out! They'll hurt me again! They'll hurt us both!"

"I’m here to get you out of here. Come on, yeah? We have nothing to stay for anymore. They want to send you to Durmstrang and then marry you off and I bloody hell won't let that happen!"

"You can't let me out of here! They will know! They will just throw me back and make me stay even longer! And they will punish you too!"

"No they won't,” said Sirius and took a hold on Regulus' shoulders to look him in the eyes. "Because we’re running away. I’ve already packed our stuff. You just need to grab your broom and your cat and we’re out of here."

"No!" gasped Regulus, staring at his brother in shock. "I can't leave. I have duties. I have to do what I can to pay for what I've done to the family. I have to do what's right."

"So the right thing is to let them ruin your life? You want that?" Sirius shook his brother by the shoulders. "You would rather get married off than to be with someone you love? Leave this hellhole and do something for yourself for once, Regulus!”

"I-I can't, Sirius. They’re my parents…”

Sirius shook Regulus again. "They’ve just crucioed you, for Merlin’s sake, and you still want to be loyal to them?”

"We're the last. It will be the end of the line. I can't be responsible for that,” said Regulus, and to his dismay he felt tears welling up in his eyes.

“If it were that bloody important to them they shouldn’t have treated us like shite! I promised to look after you, Reggie, and that’s what I’m doing. I won’t let them send you away!" He pulled Regulus in and hugged him tightly. "Please - for once in your life do what _you_ want to do and not what they demand. Do it for you. And me. Do it for Remus."

Regulus started sobbing, burying his face in his brother's shirt, hating himself for it. "They will come for me. I'm not of age."

"I won’t let them take you. They won’t ever hurt you again. Trust me."

Regulus wiped his nose in his sleeve. "But where do we go? We have nowhere and we have no money."

"I’ve taken care of everything. But we have to hurry!"

Regulus nodded and followed Sirius out and up the stairs. He barely dared breathe for fear of waking his parents. Sirius had already packed a bag of clothes for him, and Regulus quickly went through his things and packed a few of his most valued possessions. Then he took his broom under his arm and whispered to Polaris to be quiet as he picked up his crate. 

Sirius met Regulus outside his room. He smiled as he stood with his own bag. "Here, let me hold your broom. You have that big panther to carry. I found some money in Father’s study so we should be good for a few weeks at least, and then we should be back at school."

They snuck down the stairs but as they reached  the front door, a squeaking voice sounded behind them. "Goodbye, Master Regulus."

Regulus turned and looked at the elf. Then he hugged it tightly. "I'm sorry, Kreacher. But I can't stand it anymore. They hate me now. Thank you for all you've done and for always being my friend.” The elf started bawling and Regulus said, "Don't be sad. I will come back and visit when Mother and Father aren't home. I will find out when."

"Knowing that Master Regulus is safe is all Kreacher wants."

Sirius tapped his foot and looked around. "Reggie, we have to go," he said and tugged at his brothers shirt. 

Regulus let go of the elf and followed Sirius to the door. "Try not to punish yourself for helping me," he said to Kreacher. "Sirius told you to help me and you were just following orders."

The elf nodded and smiled through tears. "Kreacher promises."

**o0o0o**

Sirius knocked on the door to the large Potter Manor. After a minute it opened and James stuck his head out. "What happened?" Then he spotted Regulus. " _He’s_ with you?"

"We ran away. Somehow they found out about Reggie and Remus." Sirius looked over his shoulder at his brother and then back at James. "It’s rather cold out here. Mind if we come in, mate?"

"Of course!" said James and stepped back, still staring baffled at Regulus. He was not surprised to see Sirius. In fact, he had wondered when he had finally had enough and would leave home. But _Regulus_ abandoning his family?

"What's happening here?" sounded a voice. 

Sirius brushed the snow off his shoulder and looked at James’ parents who had appeared in the doorway to the living room. "Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Potter. We ran away from home and wondered if we could stay here until we find somewhere else to live."

"Of course," said Mrs. Potter, eying both boys. "Hello, Regulus. I have never seen you here before. In fact I don't think I have seen you since you were nine, when James would come to visit at your house."

"Well..." said Regulus, not knowing what else to say to that. 

"Let’s go sit in the living room and have a nice cup of tea to warm you both up," said Mrs. Potter. She called the family’s house elf and asked her to prepare tea.

"So," said Mr. Potter as he sat down on the couch. "Tell us what happened."

Sirius looked at Regulus. "You want to tell them or should I?"

"Go ahead," mumbled Regulus, looking out the dark window. He was so ashamed of sitting here and having to involve more people in his situation.

Sirius told what had happened, leaving nothing out: the Cruciatus curse, locking Regulus up, Durmstrang and the arranged marriage. He wanted James' parents to understand the seriousness of the situation.

They both looked shocked, Mrs. Potter with her hand clapped over her mouth and tears in her eyes. "Oh, you poor thing," she said and put a comforting hand on Regulus' shoulder.

Regulus stared at the floor, feeling very embarrassed. 

"They might come looking for us," said Sirius. "But I won’t let them take Regulus. No way in hell!"

"When are you turning seventeen, Regulus?" asked Mrs. Potter.

"May."

"Well that's about five months. They have custody over you until then."

"I know," said Regulus, feeling his stomach sink. "I told Sirius. I told him they would come and haul me back!"

"Can’t something be done?" asked Sirius. "They are going to treat him worse than ever if they get their claws into him now." Sirius was getting desperate just thinking about their parents taking Regulus back.

"Well..." speculated Mr. Potter. “There is the abuse, of course... And from what I have heard from James, it is not the first time something like this has happened. They have been very harsh on you, in particular, Sirius, isn't that so?"

Sirius nodded. "All my life."

"Perhaps the threat of reporting them to the child services will make them think twice."

"The Ministry wouldn't want to mingle in their business," said Regulus. "Our father is a very influential man."

"Oh, I think you’re wrong,” said Mr. Potter. “And if I warn your parents that I will report them for child abuse and for using an Unforgiveable curse, I am quite sure they will let you boys go willingly," said Mr. Potter.

Regulus eyed hope. Mr. Potter did hold a high position in the Ministry and his words would be taken seriously. Also, the threat of the shame of being exposed as child abusers might in fact be enough to make their parents back down.

"But for now you boys will stay here," smiled Mrs. Potter and rubbed Regulus' back. "Are you hungry? We can have some food made for you."

Regulus nodded. He was starving, although Kreacher had snuck him a little food. And he was exhausted, longing for a soft bed.

Mrs. Potter got Regulus some leftovers from dinner and a hot cup of tea. "Here you go dear. We will have a room made ready for you so you can get some sleep. Sirius, you sleep in James' room as usual."


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31 – “What a Strange Boy”**

Around seven the next morning Remus quietly opened the door to Regulus’ bedroom in the Potter mansion. He found Regulus lying on his side with his eyes closed. Remus sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully ran a hand over his hair. "Regulus?" he called in a soft voice.

Regulus woke with a start, jerking away from Remus. "Oh, it's you," he said, letting out a sigh of relief. "What are you doing here?"

"Sirius sent me an owl. I came here as quickly as I could. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

Regulus took a deep breath and sat up. He ran his hand through his dirty hair. He had been so exhausted that he had gone straight to bed without showering, so he was still dirty from the basement. "Sorry. I look horrible. If I had known you would come so soon -"

"You’re beautiful as always. It takes more than a little dirt to ruin that," said Remus and leaned in to give Regulus a soft kiss. He could tell from the dirty lines on his cheeks that he had been crying. Carefully he ran a thumb over a cheek and sent him a smile. "You want me to draw you a bath or do you want to sleep a while longer?"

Regulus looked down, embarrassed about Remus seeing him in this condition. Dirty, vulnerable and miserable. When Remus wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, Regulus buried his face in his shirt and started sobbing. All the events of the previous days came rolling back, and the consequences of his choices nearly overwhelmed him. 

"I left... I abandoned them..."

"They abused you. You had no choice but to leave unless you wanted them to ruin you,” said Remus, carefully rocked Regulus back and forth. "What did they do to you, love? Sirius didn’t tell me much, only that they know about us and that the two of you ran away."

"They punished me and locked me in the basement. Sirius broke me out the next night."

Remus kissed the side of his head and held him close. "I’m so sorry, love. I'm sorry you were put in this position, but I’m so glad you got out so they can’t hurt you anymore."

"I shouldn't. I ran away because I'm weak and selfish," said Regulus and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "I lied to them and behaved disgracefully. They had the right to punish me. But I just couldn't take it... They were going to send me to Durmstrang for the next one and a half years. And I would never see you again, and -"

Remus kissed him to stop him from talking. He then rested his forehead against his and looked him in the eye. "There is no excuse for treating someone the way they treated you, and there is nothing wrong with who you are. They can’t change you just by sending you to Durmstrang. I would be very unhappy to see you go there. I would miss you so much and I’m happy that you're here and not in some dark basement."

Regulus swallowed, looking back into Remus' eyes. "They didn't want me to see you ever again. She said... she said she would kill you if you ever came to our house."

"I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you, even if it meant that I had to go to Durmstrang too. I'm so glad you're safe now."

"I'm not safe," said Regulus, hugging Remus tighter. "They will come and take me home. They have the right to do so. They will drag me home and punish me even worse. I should never have tried to escape!"

"I won’t let them take you back, even if I have to kidnap you and hide you until you turn seventeen," said Remus "I won’t let them hurt you again."

Regulus started crying again, letting Remus tip him over so they were lying on the bed together. He did not have much faith that Remus could do anything to protect him but it felt good to hear him say it. 

Remus let him cry, just stroking his back soothingly. "I love you.”

Regulus wept a while longer until finally the tears stopped. He rested his head on Remus' shoulder, feeling exhausted and a little calmer. "I love you too," he said. "I'm sorry I haven't said it before, but I just couldn't. I don't know why."

Remus' heart skipped a beat. He had longed to hear those words for so long. "It's okay. I really love you and it means the world to me that you feel the same way."

"I know," said Regulus. "But you have such a big heart. You love many people.”

"Not like I love you." Remus was quiet for a minute, just running his fingers through Regulus' dirty hair. "My mum said you’re welcome to come and stay with us if you want. Unless you would rather stay here with Sirius, of course."

Regulus raised his head and looked at Remus. "Really? She knows I'm your boyfriend and she doesn't mind me staying over?"

"Actually she’s really hoping that you will. She’s very eager to meet you. Not all parents have a problem with homosexuality, you know," Remus smiled.

"What about your father?" asked Regulus, eying Remus sceptically. 

"The same goes for him. It’s not a problem at all, Regulus.”

Regulus thought about it for a minute. "Alright, I'll come home with you, then. You're better company than Potter."

“What a compliment," grinned Remus. "But remember my mum is a Muggle so try not to insult her."

"Oh... Right," said Regulus, suddenly remembering. "Of course I would never insult your mother. But... I've never really been around a Muggle - you know, more than passing them at the train station and such - so I don't really know how to act..."

"Just act like you would with anyone else. She’s just like us, only she can't do magic. And she knows our world, obviously, so you don’t have to worry about revealing anything. But she insists we don’t use magic to do household stuff, so that might come as a bit of a shock for you. She just likes to do things the Muggle way and I think it would make her feel inferior if my dad and I could do the chores quicker and easier than her. Do you understand?”

“No,” said Regulus, having really no clue what went on in a Muggle’s mind.

“Well… she likes to be the head of the house. In charge of cooking and cleaning and all that. It’s not that we aren’t allowed to do magic at all – as long as we respect ‘her domain’, so to speak.”

"Blimey, I can't do magic at all!" groaned Regulus, suddenly realising that he was outside of Grimmauld Place's protective wards and therefore had to abide by the rules for underage wizards. It made him very uneasy. He was not used to not be able to do magic whenever it pleased him. “I’m underage." 

"You’ll be fine,” smiled Remus and gave Regulus’ shoulder a squeeze. “You won’t be needing it, anyway.”

Regulus swung his legs over the edge of the bed. "You think we can sneak into the bathroom together without being noticed? I could use your help to take a shower…"

There was a bathroom just next to the guest room so they quickly slipped inside and locked the door.

"So..." said Remus, turning to Regulus. “What do you need my help with?"

"Well, I'm mighty dirty from that basement. I can't reach all the places," said Regulus and pulled his pyjama top over his head.

Remus gulped and walked over to him, pulling at the rope that held up the pyjamas bottoms. "I'm sure I can help you with that," he smiled as he watched them drop to the floor. He walked over and turned on the water, feeling for the right temperature.

**o0o0o**

Half an hour later they were both clean and satisfied. Descending the spiral staircase, they could hear Sirius and James talking and laughing downstairs.

Sirius looked up as they walked into the kitchen. "Oh, you’re here already," he said to Remus. Then he noticed their wet hair. "You two don’t waste any time, do you?"

Remus blushed and sat down at the breakfast table. "I um... I just helped him shower. That’s all."

"Right," grinned James, pouring himself another glass of juice. "Small children need help with things like that."

Regulus sent him a glare as he sat down and let the Potter’s eager house elf stack his plate with eggs, beans and sausages. 

"Oh, Remus, dear," said Mrs. Potter as she walked in. "Good to see you. Would you like some breakfast or have you already eaten?"

“Yes, please, Mrs. Potter,” smiled Remus. “I haven’t eaten yet.”

"I was planning on taking Regulus home with me," said Remus when they had finished eating. "My parents already said that he’s welcome."

"Oh," said Mrs. Potter and sat down. "I understand. But perhaps it is wise to wait until we know the reaction from Regulus' parents. They might not want to give him up so easily."

They did not have to wait long, because the doorbell rang just then. 

Mr. Potter looked around at the people at the table. Sirius looked nervous and Regulus looked sick. "Don’t worry. I’ll handle this.” Mr. Potter walked into the hall and opened the front door, finding Mr. Black outside. "Yes, Orion?" he said, giving a polite nod.

"I assume you're housing my sons?" said Mr. Black in a cold tone. "I must say, I find it quite ill-mannered not having informed us immediately upon their arrival. Imagine how worried my wife and I were when we got up this morning to find them gone."

"You mean gone from the basement where you had your youngest locked up like a prisoner?" said Mr. Potter, not moving an inch from the doorframe. He wasn’t going to let Orion inside to get to the boys.

"Our way of handling the disciplining of our children is none of your business," said Mr. Black. "Now - I demand that you call them to the door."

"I will do no such thing. I will not send those boys with you home to more abuse. I’m also sure that the Ministry would not be pleased to hear that you have used the Cruciatus curse for discipline."

There was a brief glimpse of shock on the tall man's face before it folded back into its haughty expression. "That is a lie. A habit they have picked up in that wretched house at Hogwarts, I'm sure.” He made to step inside, but when Mr. Potter made no move to get out of his way, he called. “REGULUS! COME OUT HERE THIS SECOND!”

Regulus stiffened in his chair, his eyes growing wide. Remus put an arm around his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Sirius looked at his brother, clenching his wand in his hand, ready to fight for their freedom.

"I suggest that you leave," said Mr. Potter. "Unless you want me to report you. I know a lie when I hear one, and I believe every word your sons have told me. Your measures of disciplines are unacceptable, and I could get you thrown in Azkaban for using an Unforgiveable."

Mr. Black glared at him in rage, his mask of dignity forgotten. "How dare you threaten me? I have connections at the top of the Ministry – they would not listen to you. REGULUS, GET OUT HERE NOW, OR YOU’LL BE SORRY!"

"I know what connections you have. I work at the Ministry," Mr. Potter reminded Mr. Black. "And I am going to report you unless you leave the boys in peace."

Hearing his father’s call, Regulus automatically got up from his chair and headed for the hall. On his way he turned around toward Remus. "Don't come out there. I don't want him to see you."

Sirius went after his brother. "Reggie! Wait! Don’t go out there!"

Regulus stopped hesitantly, but not before he had entered the hall and his father had spotted him.

Mr. Potter turned his head. "Go back to the kitchen, Regulus. You’re not going anywhere with him."

Sirius walked up to his brother and put an arm around him. He gained eye contact with Mr. Black and sent him a glare of hate. "Come on. Let’s go back..."

"How dare you give my son orders? He is my property! He’s underage! And you," he continued, watching Sirius with loathing. "Get out of my sight! You have always been a blood traitor, but you are not going to succeed in corrupting your little brother as well!"

"I'm protecting him!" roared Sirius, one hand on Regulus' shoulder, the other clenched into a fist. "And you can go to hell with your terror and brain washing! I’m not letting you lay a finger on him ever again! "

Mr. Black’s burning gaze bore into Sirius, but it was to his youngest son that he spoke. “We’re leaving now, Regulus. They can’t hold you back against your will. Come over here and we’re -”

“No.”

Everybody’s heads turned to look at Regulus.

“What?” said Mr. Black as if he thought he had misheard.

Regulus stood, head held high, meeting his father’s gaze. “I said, no. I’m not coming home. Ever.”

There was a long pause where you could have heard a pin drop, father and son locking gazes. Then Mr. Black’s lip curled into a sneer as he drew his wand. “You little –“ 

"Put that away," sounded a hard voice from the door to the kitchen. They all turned to see Mrs. Potter standing with her wand pointing at Mr. Black.

Mr. Potter drew his wand as well. "I suggest you leave before I make good on my threat of reporting you for child abuse."

Mr. Black finally lowered his wand. "Fine,” he spat. “You can have them. I have no use for blood traitors and queers!" He looked at the boys with a gaze of utmost loathing. Then he said to Sirius, "Good luck supporting your little brother. There is no money coming from us. Consider your accounts closed." Then he spun around and marched down the driveway.

Mr. Potter lowered his wand and sighed as he watched Mr. Black disapparate. Then he turned to Sirius and Regulus. "Well... I guess you boys are free."

Regulus felt tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't want the others to see, so he turned around and rushed up to the guest room. 

**o0o0o**

"Regulus?" sounded Remus’ voice from outside the door. "May I come in?"

Regulus was lying on his stomach with his face buried in a pillow. He hesitated for a minute before allowing Remus to enter.

Remus sat down on the edge of the bed and ran a gentle hand down Regulus’ back. "It's going to be okay..." He reckoned he was of little comfort to Regulus right now. He knew how much the family name had always meant to him; and now he had been disowned.

Regulus turned his head a little so he could speak. "That's it. I'm not a Black anymore..."

Remus eyed him with sympathy. “Of course you’re still a Black. Just not the kind they want you to be. The kind _you_ want to be.”

**o0o0o**

A few hours later Remus apparated with Regulus to his house. It was rather small but looked well taken care of. Regulus felt his heart hammer in his chest as they went up the garden path. He did not quite know what to expect. 

The door swung open before Remus could grab the doorknob.

"Hello, dears,” beamed a woman in a flowery apron. “You must be Regulus. My, aren't you a good looking lad!" She was blond but had Remus’ kind amber eyes, Regulus noticed immediately. "Come in and get warm. It’s freezing out here in the snow."

Regulus swallowed nervously and stepped inside. Then he offered his hand. "H-hello, Mrs. Lupin." 

"Hello, luv," she smiled and took his hand. The house smelled wonderfully sweet. "I was just making gingerbread. Care to taste?"

"In a minute, Mum," said Remus as he took off his jacket. "I'll just show Regulus where he can put his things and then give him a tour of the house."

It was a quick tour. Grimmauld Place would have to be at least five times as big. Apart from the living room there was just Remus' room, his parents' bedroom, one guest room, the kitchen and one bathroom. It all looked very cosy, however, Regulus had to admit. Nothing like home. Well – what used to be his home.  

"Well… this is where I live," smiled Remus. "I don’t know if you prefer to sleep in the guest room but you're more than welcome to sleep in my room."

"I... I don't know. I would like to sleep in your room but I suppose it would be indecent and your parents would prefer that we sleep in separate rooms."

"They don’t mind, Regulus. Honestly."

Regulus sat down on Remus’ bed and looked out the window. "How come your father married your mother? I mean, why did he marry a Muggle?"

"Because he loved her," said Remus. "Why else would he marry her?"

Regulus looked at him, not sure what to say. Most of his family had not married for love, but he supposed half-bloods could afford that luxury. "Um... But how did he get to know her? When she’s Muggle and all that."

 “It’s a funny story, actually,” grinned Remus. “He saved her from a boggart. He heard her screaming and he came running. Turned it into a mushroom. Then he escorted her home to safety. He didn’t tell her what a boggart was and that she had not been in real danger. Not until much later.”

Regulus raised his eyebrows. “That was not a very nice thing to do! Exploiting her ignorance like that.”

“Well,” smiled Remus. “He was smitten with her right away, so he couldn’t resist the temptation of being her knight in shining armour.”

Polaris stirred noisily in his crate, clearly displeased that Regulus seemed to have forgotten about him.

“Do you think your parents will allow Polaris to roam free in the house?"

"Of course they will," said Remus. "They like animals. Just let him out.”

Polaris followed the boys down the stairs, curious of the new house. When spotting Mrs. Lupin, he went straight over to her and rubbed against her leg.

She bent down and scratched him behind his ear. "Such a sweet cat," she smiled at Regulus. “And huge! It looks more like a panther than a cat!”

Regulus watched at his cat in surprise. Polaris did not like many people, and usually needed some time to decide if he liked a stranger or not. 

**o0o0o**

Regulus was nervous sitting down to lunch. Mrs. Lupin seemed overly interested in him and bombarded him with questions.

"So," she smiled. "Are you a brainiac like my Remus?"

Remus looked down at his plate and took Regulus’ hand under the table. "I'm not a braniac, Mum."

"Oh, yes you are. Always with your nose in a book. Oh, I tell you, Regulus. Remus always wanted books for birthdays and Christmas. Never toys.” She eyed her son proudly.

"No," mumbled Regulus, answering her question. "Sirius is the smartest in my family. He never has to study hard to learn things."

"Ah yes, Sirius," she said and took a sip of her tea. "Yes, he is a smart boy, but from what I have heard he doesn’t always use that brilliant head of his, does he?” 

Regulus couldn't help but smile a little. That was certainly true. Sirius might be the brightest of them but Regulus used his head more.

“Well, I’ll just do the dishes,” said Mrs. Lupin when they had finished eating. “Remus you should go lie down for a while. You still look pale and tired."

She shooed both of them into the living room and Remus lay down on the sofa as ordered. Regulus sat down on a chair, a little restless. 

"Come lie here with me," said Remus, patting the sofa. 

Regulus shook his head. "Not here where we can be seen."

"Why not? She knows we’re together so it’s no big deal. She won’t mind."

Regulus shook his head again. He was not at all comfortable with lying down like that on display. "I think I will just to take a nap in your room. See you later."

Remus' mother came into the living room when she was done with the dishes and sat down next to her son. "Where did your little boyfriend go?"

"He went to take a nap," said Remus. "I told him he could nap here but he didn’t want you to see us lying together."

"Oh... That's sad. The way his family views homosexuality and the way they have treated him has had its impact on him, of course. It must have been hard for him to deal with the fact that he's gay."

"Yes," nodded Remus. "He is so used to hiding who he is. It will probably take some time before he gets comfortable with that whole thing."

"He is very shy. Almost seems like he's a little afraid of me."

"I'm..." Remus started but couldn’t get himself to lie to his mother. "He is a little scared of Muggles. His parents are not Muggle friendly, so Regulus has very little experience with Muggles.”

"Oh, yes, your father did tell me about the Black family and their pure-blood supremacy. I just forgot about it because I'm so used to Sirius. But Regulus seems very different from him. Do you... Do you think he sees me as a primitive being?"

Remus bit his lip nervously. "I just think that he needs time to adjust. He  _did_ agree to come her despite knowing you're a Muggle."

"Well, I will just have to show him that I'm alright, now, don't I?"

**o0o0o**

Mr. Lupin came home just in time for dinner. Remus introduced him to Regulus at the door. 

"Good evening, Mr. Lupin," said Regulus, offering his hand. "Thank you for letting me be a guest in your house." He was still nervous about meeting him, although less than he had been about Remus’ mother, since Mr. Lupin was, after all, a wizard. 

Mr. Lupin smiled and shook Regulus’ hand. "So polite you are. No need to thank us. A friend or boyfriend of Remus is always welcome in our house." He kissed his wife and took off his jacket. "Oh what a day, what a day," he said and put an arm around her shoulder as they walked to the kitchen. 

A little later Remus and Regulus went into the kitchen as well, finding Mr. Lupin putting plates on the table and Mrs. Lupin holding a black plastic object to her ear, talking to nobody. 

Regulus stared at her and then whispered to Remus, "What's she doing?" He thought that maybe she was a little crazy or this was some strange Muggle behaviour he had never heard of.  

"She’s talking on the telephone with someone," said Remus. "You type in a number on the phone and then it connects with another phone in a different household so you can talk to them. Quite brilliant, actually."

"How do you mean? She talks into the thing and somebody else can hear it? How far away?"

"Anywhere in the world. America, for instance. You just need the right number. Although right now, from the sound of it, Mum is talking to my aunt in Wales.”

"All the way to America?" said Regulus, quite impressed. He had never thought Muggles could be so resourceful. "That's very useful. I thought they sent each other letters. You know - put them in those red boxes on the street."

"They do that too, sometimes," explained Remus. "But that takes a lot longer. This is kind of like the floo network, only you can’t see the other person. Mum hates that Hogwarts doesn’t have phones so I can call home."

Mrs. Lupin hung up the phone and smiled. "Well, then. Aunt Margaret and Uncle Phillip are coming for Christmas. I told them that we have a special guest as well." She turned to Regulus and smiled. "Unless you will be going to the Potters’ for Christmas?"

"Er... I haven't thought about it," said Regulus. "I don't know if Sirius expects me there or I can stay here. But thank you for the offer."

"Well, you’re welcome here, dear," she smiled.

"I know you usually spend Christmas Morning with Sirius," said Remus as he arranged cutlery at the seats. "We could go to James' house on Christmas Morning if you'd like to stay here the night before. And then back in time for the Christmas dinner here."

"That would be nice,” agreed Regulus.

They sat down to eat, Mrs. Lupin piling a huge piece of shepherd’s pie onto Regulus’ plate. "I have a few houses to clean tomorrow so you boys will be home alone,” she said a little later. “I'll leave some food for you boys in the fridge so you won’t go hungry."

"The people you work for," said Regulus. "If they are wealthy enough to pay someone to clean their houses, then why don't they have house elves?"

Mrs. Lupin looked at him and then laughed. "Because the people I work for are Muggles like me. They don’t have house elves."

Remus chewed an extra few times on his mouthful, feeling a little embarrassed about Regulus' question.

"And I am pleased that that they don’t, because then I would be out of a job," continued Mrs. Lupin.

"Oh..." said Regulus.

"Talking about Muggles, Regulus," said Mr. Lupin. "There is something you should know: Hope's family do not know about our world, so we must all behave accordingly."

Regulus went pale. "But I can't act like a Muggle! I don't know how!"

"Just don’t talk about magic, and hide away your wand," said Mr. Lupin.

"No need to worry, dear," said Mrs. Lupin. "They are all very nice."

Regulus swallowed nervously. They would be outnumbered by Muggles. There were three of them, and maybe the guests even had kids. Regulus felt very uneasy without his wand.

After dinner they went into the living room. Mr. Lupin went over to a box that stood on a small table by the wall and pushed a button.

"It’s a television," explained Remus. "It shows stuff such as entertainment and news. I personally don't watch it much but my dad likes to follow the Muggle world. And Mum too, obviously.” He eyed the nervous looking Regulus and smiled. “But we can go to my room instead and write Sirius that letter, if you prefer."

But Regulus was staring at the screen, capture by the images on it. Several cars were chasing down the street, people leaning out of the windows shooting guns at each other. Regulus knew what guns were. They were deadly weapons Muggles used for killing each other. "Is... is it real?" he asked, shocked. 

"No that’s just a movie," said Remus.

"What is a movie?"

"It's like a theatre play," explained Mrs. Lupin. “I know wizards have plays."

"Oh. Okay." Regulus watched as a policeman gunned down a carful of villains. "Will... will your family be carrying guns to the Christmas party?"

"What?" asked Remus. "No, they won't. Don’t worry. It’s not normal to carry guns. Usually only the police do that. You have to have a permit to have a gun, and regular folk can only get permits for rifles - that’s guns used for hunting. So no, my family will not be carrying guns."

Remus' parents exchanged looks and had to press their lips together not to laugh.

"Oh, that's good," said Regulus, more relaxed. "But how do they defend themselves in the street, then? If someone attacks them?" Regulus knew no wizard who would walk around without their wand, completely vulnerable to an attack. Even minors, who were allowed to used magic in emergencies. "Do they wear a shield under their shirts?" Regulus had heard Sirius talk about something like that. A shield that protected from guns.  

"The police sometimes wear bullet proof vests but not the common Muggle.”

“Usually, when Muggles fight, they use their fists,” said Mr. Lupin. “Like those two blokes on the telly just now."

"Right... Muggle duelling. Sirius does that sometimes. Very primitive," said Regulus, obviously forgetting that he too, had fought with his brother like that on several occasions. 

They watched the rest of the movie together. It was a bad movie, Remus thought. A lot of violence without much of a plot. He would have liked to show Regulus something with a proper story line.

"Well," said Mr. Lupin. "I’m going to bed. Got to get up at six."

When both parents had said good night and left, Regulus again asked Remus about the sleeping arrangements. He would really like to sleep in Remus’ bed, but he wasn't sure he dared with Remus' parents in the house. 

“Well, I hope you want to sleep next to me," said Remus. "I’ll lock the door if that makes you more comfortable.”

"I would like that too, but do your parents really allow it?"

"They do. I double checked," said Remus. 

"Well… okay, then."

**o0o0o**

Mr. Lupin crawled into bed where his wife had already settled, reading a book. 

"What a strange boy," she said. "I have never met a wizard who knew so little about the Muggle world. Even pure-bloods. How is that even possible? It’s almost as if he has never been out among Muggles, but that isn’t impossible. No one can be that isolated."

"I’m afraid that might actually be the case," said Mr. Lupin. "The Black family are very strict about keeping the two worlds separate, and I can imagine the boys being kept under very strict control to make sure that they didn’t mingle.”

"But Sirius has been out in the Muggle world. I've heard him talk about it. And he seems to know much more than his brother," said Mrs. Lupin. 

"I think Sirius snuck out a lot. Quite the rebel, I understand. Perhaps Regulus has been more obedient."

"Could be," sighed Mrs. Lupin. “I feel sorry for the poor boy. You think he will be okay with spending Christmas with us? I want him to be comfortable and you saw how frightened he was when we watched that movie. He was sure all Muggles were dangerous." She put the book down and crossed her arms. "I'm going to spend some quality time with him."

Mr. Lupin smiled and gave his wife a kiss. "You are a good woman. I'm sure you will get through to him."

**o0o0o**

When Regulus got into bed Remus moved close to him, running a hand seductively down his back and then up under his pyjamas top. 

Regulus stopped his hand. "What are you doing?"

"Just caressing you," said Remus a little taken aback by Regulus' sudden unwillingness to be touched. "You don’t want me to?"

"Are you planning to have sex with me?" asked Regulus bluntly.

"I… I don’t know. I wasn't planning that far ahead, but you had no problem with me touching you at the Potters’ house so I thought it wouldn’t be a problem here behind a locked door."

"Well, the Potter house is very big. And this is your parents' house. It is disrespectful under their roof. At least while they are present so close by."

Remus bit his lip and sighed. "Would it be okay for me to just kiss you, then? And put my arms around you?"

"Yes, I suppose... But don't get me too excited."


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. We hope you've enjoyed the fic, and please let us know what you think :)
> 
> I'll start posting another R/R fic tomorrow - another collaboration between myself and Zayhad. It's an AU named _Diamond on a Landmine_

**Chapter 32 – “I Know how You Worry about Me”**

On Christmas Morning Regulus woke Remus at six o'clock. "Sirius said he would kill me if we weren't there by seven. He probably didn't get any sleep for excitement. He's so childish."

Remus rubbed his eyes and blinked up at Regulus. "I guess we better get up, then," he yawned. He sat up in bed and ran a hand through his bed-hair before getting up to find some clothes.

Regulus took a hot shower and dressed in jeans and the green jumper Remus had given him for his birthday. "Do I look alright?"

"You know you do," smiled Remus and walked over, putting his arms around Regulus’ waist. "You look very handsome. And the jumper really suits you."

"I meant - do I look Muggle enough? For this afternoon." Regulus was very nervous about the Muggles coming for dinner. He had become more relaxed around Remus' mother and had actually come to like her, but these other Muggles didn't even know the wizarding world existed. How was that going to play out?

"Oh yes. You will fit right in."

**o0o0o**

Peppa, the Potter’s little house elf, opened the door, beaming up at them. "Happy Christmas! Young sirs are in the parlour."

"Thank you, Peppa," smiled Remus and took off his cloak, handing it to the elf.

Sirius appeared in the doorway. "You're late."

"We are two minutes late, Padfoot," said Remus.

"Happy Christmas to you too," said Regulus to his brother. 

Sirius' face split into a grin and he went over to hug his brother. "Happy Christmas, Reggie. Don’t you look formal," he grinned, looking him up and down.

"Formal? It's Muggle trousers! I'm celebrating Christmas with Muggles, you know. Who would have ever thought?"

"Yeah," grinned James. "A Christmas from hell."

"I'm not that narrow-minded, Potter," spat Regulus. "Not all Muggles are that bad. Remus' mother, for instance, is a very nice lady."

Remus smiled and took Regulus’ hand.

Sirius grinned. "I would never have imagined hearing something like that coming out of your mouth, Reggie.”

"Well, we are going to have a great time with my family," said Remus.

They went into the parlour where a stack of presents lay piled in front of a crackling fire between the Christmas tree and the hearth. It reminded Regulus of all those early Christmas Mornings he and Sirius had spent at Grimmauld Place.

There were not many presents for the Black brothers, since they had just been disowned, but suddenly Regulus stumbled upon an envelope with the Black family crest stapled into the wax. 

"What's that?" asked Sirius curiously. 

"It's from uncle Alphard," said Regulus and handed the envelope to his brother. 

"Really?" Sirius took the envelope and opened it. There was a letter inside and a large key. Sirius read the letter, his eyes getting huge. "He… he made us a vault at Gringotts so we have something to live off!" He handed Regulus the letter to read.

"What?" gasped Regulus, staring at the parchment. "But what is Mother going to do when she hears of this?

"Probably blast him off the family tree," said Sirius, studying the key in his hand. "I hope he will be okay with it. He was always my favourite uncle."

Remus sat down beside Regulus and read the letter. It seemed that their uncle was very worried about them both and had decided that being disowned for being gay was crossing the line. 

"Blimey..." said Regulus, feeling a stone fall from his heart. “We can afford to live on our own now. And buy school things and clothes and food."

"I can find a place for us to live when we’re out of school," beamed Sirius.

“You can live here until you find your own place,” said James. “You know Mum and Dad have offered. You too, Regulus.”

“Thank you, but I would prefer stay with Remus,” said Regulus. “If that’s okay with your parents, of course,” he continued, eying Remus.

"You’re welcome to stay as long as you like," smiled Remus and gave Regulus’ hand a squeeze.

**o0o0o**

At ten o'clock they left. Remus' family would come around noon so they wanted to be there in good time. 

At precisely twelve o’clock there was a loud knock on the door. Mrs. Lupin hurried out to open while Remus and Regulus waited in the living room. They could hear chatter and laughter and the sound of a child's voice.

"H-how many are there?” asked Regulus. “I thought it was just your aunt and uncle."

"I have a little cousin too," said Remus. He had forgotten to mention that to Regulus.

"Remus, dear!" called his aunt and stuck her head in. She spotted him and rushed over with her arms outstretched and hugged him tightly, kissing his cheeks. "You need some meat on your bones, dear. You're so thin!" She then looked at Regulus. "And who is this handsome boy?"

"This is my boyfriend, Regulus," Remus introduced proudly.

Regulus stuck out his hand and smiled nervously, but instead of taking his hand, Aunt Margaret gave Regulus a hug and a kiss on his cheek. Regulus froze. What was this woman doing? She had just met him and she was kissing him! Was that a normal Muggle greeting ritual? When she let go and looked him up and down, smiling, he just stared at her in shock. 

"This is a shy one, isn't he, Remus? You don't have to be scared of me, luv,” she continued.

When she left for the kitchen, Remus turned to Regulus. "Sorry. I forgot to tell you that my aunt is a very affectionate woman."

"She... she doesn't even know me! I find that very rude. Is that a normal way for Muggles to behave?"

"For some," said Remus. “My aunt has always been like that. She doesn’t mean to be rude.”

Suddenly a child came jumping in through the door, pointing a toy gun at Remus and Regulus, yelling, "BANG, BANG, BANG!"

Regulus let out a screech and for lack of better protection dived behind the sofa. "REMUS – DOWN!"

The two women came rushing in from the kitchen. "What’s going _on_ in here?"

"Just... er..." Remus said. "It’s just a toy gun," he explained to Regulus, who was still hiding behind the sofa. "Regulus got mugged once so he is a little jumpy around guns."

Mrs. Lupin quickly tried to divert the attention from the scene. "Mary, could you come take a look at the turkey? I'm not quite happy with the stuffing. Oh, and Craig, come with us. I have some gingerbread that needs tasting."

"You said they would not be bringing guns!" hissed Regulus to Remus as he emerged from his cover. 

"It was just a toy gun," gulped Remus. "I had no idea he would bring that. I’m sorry. I really had no idea."

"Well, that is very uncivilized. Running around pretending to kill people."

"Wizard children have toy wands as well," pointed out Remus. 

"Well, they don't run around pointing it at people, shouting  _Avada_   _Kedavra_ _!_ At least not if they are decently disciplined."

"Remus?" called his uncle. "Why don’t you lads join us over here?"

Remus looked at Regulus, waiting for him to decide. Regulus swallowed and hesitantly followed Remus over to the fireplace where Remus’ uncle and Mr. Lupin had sat down.

"So," smiled Uncle Phillip, looking at Regulus. "Where are you from, Regulus?"

"London. Sir."

"Oh, that's obvious with that dialect," grinned the uncle in a thick Welch accent. "So you lads met at school?"

“Yes,” nodded Remus, who was pouring a cup of tea for himself and Regulus.

The boy, Craig, came running into the living room, a large piece of gingerbread in his hand. Regulus sent him a suspicious look and wished he had his wand on him. Just in case. Who knew what other crazy things that kid might do? The small boy looked up at Regulus and took a large bite of his gingerbread as his father lifted him onto his lap.

"I am sorry Craig scared you, Regulus. If we had known about you being mugged he wouldn’t have been allowed to bring his gun."

"Well... He didn't really scare me. Just got surprised, that's all."

Mrs. Lupin called them to the table not long after and they all went to sit down. 

"It smells wonderful, Hope," said Uncle Phillip. 

Regulus had to agree. It could not beat Kreacher's cooking, but Mrs. Lupin was not a bad cook at all, even though she cooked the Muggle way.

They sat there for a few minutes without anyone speaking, everybody just stuffing their mouths with the delicious food. Then Aunt Margaret turned her attention to Regulus.

"So good to see that Remus has found a nice boyfriend. I can imagine it’s not easy when you’re… well, I mean there has to be less to choose from. And Remus really deserves the best. How old are you, luv?" she asked. "You look so young!" 

"Nearly seventeen," said Regulus, more and more annoyed with her. 

"Really? I would have guessed no more than fifteen!”

Remus stirred in his seat, nervous about Regulus’ reaction. Aunt Margaret had no idea she was walking into dangerous territory.

“Well, no worries, dear,” the Aunt Margaret continued when there was no reply from Regulus. “The older you get, the more you’ll appreciate looking younger than you are. I wish it were me!"

Remus let his hand slide over and gently gave Regulus' hand a squeeze under the table, hoping it would make him feel less alone.

"So - what is your favourite TV show?” Aunt Margaret asked. “I’m sure you lads spend a lot of time watching the telly in this cold weather."

Regulus watched her blankly. TV shows? He had only just learned what a TV was! "Er... Anything with guns and cars."

"Oh," she smiled. "You and my husband have the same taste, then."

Regulus piled some more Brussel sprouts onto his plate, wishing they wouldn't all be paying so much attention to him.

"So, Regulus," said Uncle Phillip. "You a sportsman?"

"Um... I suppose."

"Oh, what sport do you do?"

"Quidditch," flew out of Regulus' mouth before he could think. 

Uncle Phillip looked completely lost. "Quidditch?"

"It’s football," said Remus. "We call it Quidditch at school for fun." He turned his head to look at Regulus. "Right?"

"Y-yeah. Right."

"Alright," chuckled Uncle Phillip. "So what position do you play?"

Regulus had no idea what the positions were called. He knew there was no equivalent to either Seeker or Beater so he said, "Keeper."

"Good position. I used to play footie too when I was younger."

"What's your favourite team?" asked the boy. 

"Er... London."

"That's not a team! There's loads of teams in London!"

Remus bit his lip and glanced at Regulus. He couldn’t help him with this one, since he didn’t know the name of any London teams.

"Didn’t you say you liked Arsenal?" smiled Mrs. Lupin.

"Yes! Yes, of course,” said Regulus. “Arsenal is brilliant.”

 “So little Craig has recovered completely from his operation?” Mrs. Lupin asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Oh, yes, he has been a real trooper,” said Uncle Phillip.

"I forgot what it was that was wrong with him?" Mr. Lupin said, handing Remus the potatoes.

"Appendicitis, dear," said Mrs. Lupin, sending her husband an annoyed look. "I told you several times. Don’t you ever listen?"

"I had that as a child," said Regulus, eying an opportunity to take normal part in the conversation.

"You did?" said Aunt Margarete. "How old where you and do you remember the operation?"

Remus discretely shook his head at Regulus, trying to tell him that he was getting in over his head.

"Operation?" asked Regulus, looking confused. “What kind of operation?”

"Where they cut you open and take it out," explained Craig.

Regulus stared blankly at the child for a second, not sure if he was joking or actually meant what he said. "Of course they didn't cut me open! The healers just healed it."

The guests looked at Regulus in puzzlement, and then Remus' uncle leaned a little forward. "Healers?"

"But they have to remove it, dear," said Aunt Margaret. “They can’t save an infected appendix.”

Regulus went pale. "What? Of course they didn't remove it! What kind of barbarian would even think of doing such a thing?"

Remus quickly stepped in, putting a hand on Regulus' shoulder. "Regulus was very young when it happened so he doesn’t really remember it. His parents just told him that the doctors healed it better."

The aunt and uncle exchanged looks, clearly confused as to how a teenager could be so naive.

"Look at my scar," said Craig, proudly pulling up his shirt.

Horrified, Regulus stared at the 4-inch long rather fresh scar on the small boy's belly.

"Let me see yours," continued the boy and reached out for Regulus' shirt.

"No, you can't!" snarled Regulus and smacked the boy's hand away. 

Craig snatched his hand back and stared up at Regulus in shock.

"I think you have been very brave, Craig, and what a cool scar you have to show for it!" said Mrs. Lupin, trying to get the attention away from Regulus.

Regulus scowled at Craig. He liked that boy less and less. Five minutes later when Craig left to go to the bathroom, Regulus discretely placed a large potato on his seat. As foreseen, when Craig came back from the bathroom he sat down on the potato, squashing it flat. The boy jumped up when he felt it, knocking his glass off the table. The glass landed on the floor and shattered into pieces.

Aunt Margaret rushed around the table to her son. “Craig! What are you _doing?_ ”

"Watch out you don't step in the glass, dear," said Mrs. Lupin as she started picking up the larger of the pieces.

“You sat on a potato?” scolded Aunt Margaret, looking her son over.

“Now, now Margaret, that can happen to anybody,” said Mr. Lupin.

Aunt Margaret sighed. “I suppose so. Come, Craig, let’s go clean you up.”

Remus glanced at Regulus who was sitting with a smirk on his lips. Remus hadn’t seen it but there was no doubt that this was Regulus’ doing.

Mrs. Lupin left the room and came back with the vacuum cleaner and plugged it in. Regulus nearly fell off his chair in surprise when a roar rose from the monstrous looking machine. 

"Oh I'm sorry dear!" Mrs. Lupin exclaimed and quickly turned it off again. "It's just a vacuum cleaner."

Uncle Phillip stared from Mrs. Lupin to Regulus. 

"Of course the boy can see that it’s a vacuum cleaner, Hope," said Mr. Lupin. "You just startled him."

"Yes of course," said Mrs. Lupin. "Don't be so jumpy, dear. I'm just cleaning up after Craig so we don't get glass in our feet."

**o0o0o**

On Boxing Day Regulus decided to go to Grimmauld Place to see Kreacher. Sirius was visiting the Lupins that day and his face went white when Regulus informed him and Remus about his plan. 

"What the hell do you want to do that for? What if they catch you and lock you up again? Kreacher wouldn’t want that, either. He helped smuggle you out!"

Remus looked equally nervous. "Sirius is right... what if they catch you? And how will you get there and back?"

"I was hoping Sirius would side-along me, but if not, then I suppose I must fly. Or maybe I can catch the knight bus. You just stick your thumb out, yeah?"

Sirius crossed his arms. "Of course I’m not going to let you fly or take the bloody bus!”

After a few minutes’ more arguing, Sirius realised that Regulus was not going to change his mind, and he agreed to take him.

“Regulus -“ started Remus, nervously wringing his hands.

“Don’t worry, Remus,” said Regulus, putting a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “Our uncle and aunt always throw a Christmas party on Boxing Day, so it should be safe."

"What if they decided not to go this year because of the shame you've brought on the family?" asked Sirius. 

Regulus looked down, pain in his eyes. "I'm just going to have to risk it, then. I can't let Kreacher down. I want him to know I'm okay."

"What you see in that rag of a house elf I will never understand," sighed Sirius and put on his cloak.

"Please be careful," said Remus. "I understand why you have to go, but I want you to be safe."

"I will be," said Regulus. He borrowed one of Remus' outgrown cloaks so he wouldn't be so recognisable and pulled up the hood. Then they went outside and apparated to an alley next to Grimmauld Place. 

The door creaked open and Sirius tiptoed inside to check that the coast was clear. It looked like nobody was home, so he whispered for Regulus to come in. "Try calling the rag."

"Don't call him that," snapped Regulus. "Go outside and keep watch if you're so bent on protecting me."

"I'll be waiting _right_ outside, and if something happens, you scream for me, got that?" said Sirius.

Regulus walked a little farther down the hall and quietly called, "Kreacher?" 

The elf appeared with a crack and looked up at Regulus with wide eyes. "Master Regulus?"

"Yes, it’s me," said Regulus and dropped to his knees, pulling Kreacher into a hug. "Although I'm not really your Master anymore."

“Master Regulus will always be Master Regulus to Kreacher," said the elf and started to sob.

“Is something wrong?” asked Regulus worriedly.

Kreacher shook his head, his ears flapping. “Kreacher is just so happy to see Master Regulus.” The elf composed himself and dried his eyes. “But what is Master Regulus doing here?"

"I had to see you. Tell you that I'm safe and okay. I know how you worry about me. And I wanted to thank you for helping me escape and always being loyal to me.”

Kreacher smiled up at Regulus. "Master Regulus need not thank Kreacher. Kreacher just wants him to be safe." Then the little elf looked puzzled. "If Kreacher may ask, then why did Master Regulus decide to be with half-blood boy instead of a nice pure-blood lady? Kreacher does not understand."

"That half-blood boy is the kindest, most caring person I have ever known. He loves me and will do anything to keep me safe and happy. Not all half-bloods are bad people, Kreacher, just as not all pure-bloods are nice. Just think of Sirius." Regulus knew this argument might carry some weight because he knew how much Kreacher loathed Sirius.

Kreacher looked a little sceptic but then nodded. "Kreacher just wants Master Regulus to be happy, and if that means he needs to live with half-blood boy then Kreacher will not question it."

"Good," smiled Regulus. He fished out a small package from his pocket and handed it to the elf. "I got you a present."

Looking stunned, Kreacher took the package and unwrapped it. Inside was a small mirror. The elf held it up to study it closer.

"It's magic. I have its sister," said Regulus and pulled out an identical mirror from his pocket. "If you look into it and call my name we can see and talk to each other. Sirius and James have a set too. That's where I got the idea. Hide it in your nest in the cupboard. And if Mother or Father should find it, it should not cause suspicion. It just look like a regular old mirror."

Kreacher looked up at Regulus with huge eyes and hugged the mirror tightly to his chest. "Kreacher is so happy," he croaked. "Kreacher wants to give Master Regulus a gift too but Kreacher did not think he would see young Master..."

"Don't worry. You've given me so many gifts over the years.” Regulus got to his feet. Well, I have to go, Kreacher. Use the mirror when you feel the need, okay?"

Kreacher nodded. "Master Regulus promises to tell Kreacher if he is unhappy?"

“I promise,” said Regulus and smiled at the elf. 

"Kreacher does not want nasty Master Sirius to push Master Regulus around and Kreacher wants half-blood boy to treat him well."

“Don’t worry, Kreacher. I will be just fine.”

Sirius looked irritable when Regulus finally emerged from the house, and he was in a hurry to get out of there. "I was starting to think they were home after all!" scolded Sirius as he pulled Regulus with him towards the alleyway to hide out of sight from passing Muggles. "At least tell me that you got done what you needed, so we don’t have to return."

"I talked to Kreacher, yes," said Regulus, irritated that Sirius didn't have any understanding of his need to see Kreacher. "It made him very happy, you know. Poor Kreacher was sick with worry for me."

"Why? You were with me," said Sirius. "Hold on so we can get the bloody hell out of this place."

They landed on the garden path and took a minute to collect themselves from the trip. Sirius swung his arm around Regulus’ shoulder and smiled at him. “Come on, little brother. Let’s go inside and get a nice hot cup of cocoa. I’m sure Remus is anxious to see you.”

Regulus smiled, looking in through the window where he could see Remus sitting by the fireplace, waiting. “Yes. Let’s get inside.”

 

**THE END**


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